Winter at Cedarwood Lodge

by Rebecca Raisin

  Standing on tiptoes, I acted before I could overthink it and quashed his farewells with a kiss. It was almost instantaneous – heat exploded through me as Kai leaned in, deepening the kiss, making me dizzy. After an age, he pulled away, but his hands slung low on my hips. All I could do was stare into his eyes, struck mute by desire. I’d never been kissed quite like that before.

  “Cl-li-oh!” A voice emanated from the front hall, slowly reaching me as I came out of my daze.

  I looked back at Kai, but I couldn’t read his expression.

  “Clio,” he said, his voice soft. “I have an early start tomorrow so I… I’d better head in.”

  “Sure, go for it.” I tried to sound blasé. So much remained unsaid, but what could I say now that someone was here? Would he just wake up and drive out of Cedarwood like nothing happened?

  I took a step back from Kai. The moment to say anything had slipped away and my worry about what that kiss – that kiss – had meant settled in. “Cl-li-oh!” I turned toward the voice just in time to see Amory burst through the ballroom doors.

  “Amory! What are you doing here?” My surprise rang out in the cool, autumnal air, but I glanced back over my shoulder to see Kai disappear through the back door.

  “I couldn’t let you throw your first party alone, could I?” Amory said as she strode across the floor in her six-inch heels and tight wrap dress, looking every inch the polished Manhattanite. “But where is everyone? It’s only just after midnight!”

  I laughed. “We’re in Evergreen, not New York!” I gave her a huge hug, shocked she would come all this way just for me. But of course she would. She was Amory; it was just her style to arrive ‘fashionably late’. And to interrupt…

  I tried to compose myself so she wouldn’t see my inner turmoil. Should I have told Kai I had feelings for him? But what exactly were they? They were too indistinct to act on. Surely he knew after the kiss?

  “Seriously, Clio, where is everyone?” Amory said, spinning around on her heels as my head reeled with a jumble of emotions.

  “No, really, Amory. Everyone went home. Parties in this neck of the woods tend to finish before the witching hour – all that fresh mountain air, you know. And tomorrow…” I took a deep breath. “…Most of the team are leaving, now the lodge is finished.”

  “Well, darling,” she said, linking our arms and steering me down the steps to the lush gardens, the flowers a riot of color under the moonlight, “I’m here to stay.”

  I was giddy with the knowledge Amory wasn’t leaving right away, but I knew there was another reason behind her sudden arrival. I could see it in the set of her jaw, the tenseness in her shoulders. Not wanting to ruin the moment, I decided to wait. She’d tell me when she was ready. Now wasn’t the time to start pushing her over her secrets, especially when I had one of my own.

  Stars twinkled in the inky night as we stared out at the place I called home, and I knew with a startling certainty that Kai would be gone when I woke up. But the thrill of that one kiss definitely wouldn’t fade from my memory any time soon!

  Chapter Sixteen

  Blustery winds lashed at the windows, rattling the shutters, and a draught raced up the staircase in an eerie woo. December had well and truly arrived, bringing with it icy winds, sheeting rain and the urge to snuggle by the fire. But there was no time for that, with only a few days until our bridal expo, and Christmas to plan too.

  “Tell me this place isn’t haunted, Clio,” a wide-eyed Amory said, clutching a loop of silver tinsel to her chest like a safety blanket.

  “With the ghosts of boyfriends past?” I teased, warming my hands by the fire. It crackled and popped, a comforting soundtrack to frosty nights with us holed up in the lodge, working away in one room or another. While the main renovations had been done, there was always something else that needed some attention. From polishing paint-smudged, fingerprinted balustrades, to excavating the debris from a musty, unused cupboard we’d missed the first time around.

  She grinned. “You wish.”

  “No, I do not wish. Men complicate everything!”

  The creaks and moans of the lodge didn’t bother me any more. I was used to the grand old dame making her presence felt in the whispers of wind, and shivers of brocade curtains. And if the ghosts made their presence felt, then who was I to judge? I hadn’t mentioned it to anyone, but sometimes I awoke with a start, and had the feeling I wasn’t alone, which was all sorts of crazy. I put it down to fatigue and erratic, dream-filled sleep.

  “Speaking of men…” Amory said, falling into a plush, wingback chair we’d rescued from the basement and rejuvenated. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but I was thinking back to a few weeks ago – the night I arrived actually – and I could be mistaken, but did I interrupt you and Kai? I wasn’t paying attention at the time, but I’m sure you two were in each other’s arms like… lovers.” Her eyes twinkled mischievously and it was all I could do to keep my expression neutral.

  Damn it! I had tried very hard to forget all about Kai and the spontaneous kiss under the moonlight. He had left before I was up the next morning, and I hadn’t heard a peep from him since. He’d probably forgotten all about me and Cedarwood by now, and thus there’d been no point confiding in Amory about our brief clinch. Without him here, the work days had lost some of their shine – for me anyway.

  “In his arms?” I said doubtfully, as if she was silly to suggest such a thing. “God, no. We had been discussing the… the cleanup. Probably why he hotfooted out so early the next day.” I lifted a shoulder as if it was nothing, but the mention of Kai and that kiss still had the ability to make me woozy. What could I say? It had been a long time since I’d been plagued with thoughts of a man in the romantic sense – it jolted me, these long-dormant feelings.

  Not fooled, Amory narrowed her eyes and said breezily, “Oh, my mistake, this postcard must be for someone else then…” With a playful smile she waved the postcard in front of me.

  With a shriek I snatched it from her, and held it to my chest. “Did you read it?”

  She faux-gasped, “I would never do that!”

  “You liar!” I laughed, and lobbed a cushion at her.

  Even if Amory had read the postcard, which I had no doubt she had, I wanted to read it alone and savor it. I peeked at the festive picture on the front of a snow-covered park with a line saying: Wish you were here. Of course, I instantly read too much into it…

  “Well, aren’t you going to read it?”

  “Later,” I said. “It’s probably just a polite reminder asking for his last invoice to be paid.” Which I really needed to do. Was I subconsciously holding out so he’d call me? No, no, no. I was just time poor, that was all.

  She rolled her eyes dramatically. “As if… Just read the damn thing. And then we can dissect every word for hidden meaning.”

  It was hard to hide anything from Amory, but I kept the farce up, not willing to give in so easily. “Can we get back to decorating?” I motioned to a box from which shiny baubles and sparkly tinsel spilled out, dusting the floorboards with glitter. “All we’ve done so far is make a mess.”

  “Fine,” she grinned. “Let’s throw some tinsel around while we talk.”

  She was incorrigible, and wouldn’t give up until I’d read the damn card and deliberated over every single syllable with her.

  Her innocent act didn’t fool me, though – I wasn’t the only one keeping secrets. She’d been at Cedarwood for a couple of weeks now, and her lips remained firmly clamped about why she’d hastily left Manhattan.

  I hadn’t pushed for details, hoping Amory would share when she was ready. I had a feeling it was something to do with Cruz, and not a problem at the agency, from the amount of work calls she was fielding, telling them with good grace that she was on a sabbatical.

  I waggled my eyebrows, sensing an opportunity. “Fine, I’ll tell if you will.”

  “Oh, you cunning little minx.” She puckered her lips.

  “Learned from the best,�
�� I winked.

  “Fine.”

  “Fine.”

  “You first.”

  I flipped the postcard over and read Kai’s loping scrawls:

  When the noise of the city gets too much, I think of Cedarwood. The silence, the stars, and being surrounded by the beauty of nature. What happened the night of the party?

  Kai

  Heat rose in my cheeks. What happened? A kiss happened, and not your run-of-the-mill kiss either: a knee-trembler, a time-stopper, a gasp-inducer, the type I’d only ever read about before, but was I alone in that thought? He hadn’t called since, had he?

  “Come on, the suspense is killing me!”

  I handed the card to Amory and she pretended to read it for the first time. “I knew it! God, you must’ve been so annoyed when I stumbled in at that exact moment!”

  I let out a nervous laugh. “The timing wasn’t ideal, but I was happy to see you. Besides, as you can clearly see, it didn’t mean anything to him. The poor guy got out of here as quick as he could so he wouldn’t have to face me again.”

  A scoff escaped her pinked lips. “Where does it say that?” She made a show of rereading it, squinting at it up close.

  Giving her a long look I quoted from memory: “What happened the night of the party? Not exactly a declaration of love, is it?” In my heart of hearts I hadn’t expected anything more. So far my love life had been underwhelming. It wasn’t that I didn’t want romance, it was more that I hadn’t found anyone who flipped my world upside down. And I was just too busy to waste time with Mr Right Nows.

  Amory stared me down like I was an unruly child.

  “What’s that face supposed to mean?” I asked, folding my arms.

  With a huff she said, “You’re looking for a reason to cast him off before it’s even started! If you read between the lines of what he wrote, he’s saying he misses Cedarwood, which really means he’s missing you, and he’s asking if the kiss meant something to you, because it clearly did to him! Men don’t send correspondence if they don’t care, for God’s sake.”

  It was my turn to scoff. “It doesn’t mean that at all! If he was interested he wouldn’t have left before the sun rose the next day, would he? It was like he couldn’t get out of here fast enough. The postcard is a reminder: hey, pay your bills, lady. Which I intend to do once we get all of this work done.” I sighed. There was never enough time, and my nerves became more frayed the closer the bridal expo crept. Love would complicate things. Better instead if I focused on my friends, my brides, and my business. Just like usual: work, work, work.

  I bent to the box of decorations, and busied myself rummaging.

  In a softer tone Amory said, “Darling, he stayed on longer than he was contracted. That is saying in invisible letters – he’s keen.”

  Who knew what anything meant when it came to men? Kai was more sensitive and quiet than I was used to and I didn’t know how to read him, or his postcard. He was gone, and that was that.

  Just then Micah wandered in, lugging another big box of Christmas decorations, and I was glad for the interruption. Having my easy-going best friend from Evergreen and my fashion-conscious best friend from Manhattan in one place might have proved tricky for some, but not for these two. They had gelled from the get-go and delighted in ganging up and teasing me good-naturedly, just as I would expect from both of them. Proof I had good taste in friends.

  “Three more boxes to go. Jesus, Clio, when you decorate you don’t go lightly, do you?” He wiped a layer of sheen from his brow.

  I stared him down. “It’s Christmas, Micah. And you of all people should know what that means.” When I had lived in Evergreen as a teenager, Christmas had been left to me, and that meant Micah had been roped in to help, no matter how much he’d complained. From decorating the fir trees in the front yard, to hanging fairy lights in the window, he’d been part of every step, willing or not. Secretly, he adored Christmas but thought it unmanly to admit it. I’d been able to read that guy like a book back then, and nothing had changed.

  “It means carols on a loop, eggnog for weeks, and lots of sparkly things, right?” he said, hands on jean clad hips.

  “Right! And that’s just the beginning,” I added, grinning. Christmas was my favorite time of year. And that meant any Grinches had to suffer in silence or face my steely-eyed glare. I had plans for an intimate Christmas Eve party, with all the trimmings. It didn’t matter if I was hosting a party for four or four hundred – it had to be right. The lodge would shine so brightly you’d see it all the way from Australia if you squinted hard enough. So what if I liked Christmas? It was the one time of year when you could be sentimental and surround yourself with friends who were more like family. I loved every single part of it, including decorating like my life depended on it.

  Amory held up two baubles to her ears like earrings. “We should get some tacky Christmas jewelry. You know, the type that flashes?” She swapped the baubles for a trio of star statues that she centered on the coffee table.

  “We definitely should.”

  “Are you going to reply? I notice he’s scrawled a return address on the card…” She took an ornate angel from the box and set it on the mantelpiece, casually bumping me out of the way with her hip as if I wouldn’t notice she’d switched the conversation back to Kai.

  I bent to the box and grabbed a length of golden glittery beads out, intending to wind them around the stairwell bannisters in the lobby. “I don’t know. Anyway, what about you? Why’d you leave Manhattan?”

  I propped the postcard on the mantel, near the rosy-red stockings hanging at an angle, waiting to be stuffed by Santa (a girl could still believe).

  A gold Christmas candle threw light around the space, flickering festively. Amory nodded to Micah’s bent head, as if to say not in front of him.

  “Oh, don’t mind Micah. He’s used to doling out advice to women.” Better if there were no secrets between us, then less chance I would talk out of turn. Besides, Micah was a good sounding board. He wasn’t dismissive like some men could be. Still, Amory shrunk back as if she didn’t want to share with him just yet.

  Micah got the hint and said, “How about I make us some eggnog from my secret recipe?” He waggled his brows and I knew that meant he’d probably do his usual heavy-handed trick and add too much bourbon. He said it had to buzz on your tongue or it wasn’t Christmas. Yeah, right. Micah just really liked bourbon.

  “Bring back a plate of gingerbread men too!” I said. “The ones with the little snowflake scarves!” Something to soak up the alcohol…

  “And grab some of those reindeer cookies Georges made!” Amory faced me, patting her belly. “Your chef will be my downfall, you know.”

  “Mine too. Let’s worry about that next year.”

  She nodded. “Yeah, no one watches their weight over Christmas. That’s just rude.”

  Micah shook his head ruefully as he wandered down the hallway. “Just yell out if I can do anything else, princesses.”

  The Christmas carols had finished so I pressed the go button again, smiling as Dean Martin warbled ‘Let it Snow’… Peeking outside, snowflakes seesawed down, blanketing the ground white; I couldn’t wait for the brides to see Cedarwood in all its wintry glory, flashing festively and dusted with soft white snow. Who wouldn’t want a winter wonderland wedding here?

  It was Christmas-card perfect. Warm, welcoming and ready for guests.

  “Anyway…” I dragged myself back to the decorations and took some reindeer bunting from the box. “What happened? Tell me everything…”

  Amory fiddled with a big golden wreath for the front door, bending it back into shape and said, “It’s a long story.”

  “We’ve got time.” She’d try anything to avoid talking about it, and it was totally out of character for her. I’d left her to stew on it, thinking she’d confess when she was ready, but now I felt like she needed a push. Besides, I was worried about her. She wasn’t one to keep secrets.

  She sighed. �
��You’re going to think I’m slightly insane, really you will, so just pretend I’m not – OK? Keeping in mind I’ve been dating Cruz for just over a year, yeah? Not five years, not ten, not…”

  “I get it,” I interrupted solemnly, noting her downturned lips, the slight tremble in her hands. Amory would try and make the situation funny, or lighthearted; it was her way to downplay things, but I could see whatever it was had obviously affected her.

  “So, Cruz invited me over for dinner. As you know, our dates went inexplicably from twice a week to almost every day – it was all getting very serious quite rapidly. After a month of that he was dropping hints about how settling down really appealed to him, babbling about friends of his who’d just had a baby who was as cute-as-a-button. He actually said cute-as-a-button…”

  “Oh… a baby.” I bit my lip to stop myself from saying anything more. Amory had zero inclination to have children. Less than zero. She was openly opposed to it and had told Cruz early on it was a deal breaker for her. He’d accepted that, not having the desire himself. They weren’t that serious, anyway, or so I’d thought, according to Amory.

  “Right?” She toyed with a length of tinsel. “So, I go there for this fancy, home-cooked meal, he’s got this little table set for two, candles, flowers, soft music, the whole nine yards.”

  I turned the carols down slightly so I could concentrate. “OK, none of that screams weird to me, but keep going.” I’d always liked Cruz – for a Manhattanite, he was more grounded than most, and didn’t bother with the pretensions of big-city living. He was himself, always, a smoldering-eyed, nice guy who showed his love for Amory in little romantic ways all the time. He didn’t get moody about girls’ nights out and gave Amory space when she needed it without question, which she did oftentimes. He understood her work came first, and her friends were like family. When she was having a high-maintenance day, he rolled with it, rueful grin in place, mouth shut against her sudden diva demands. He was a keeper in my books.

  “So I sat there sort of stiffly, feeling a little uncomfortable. The night reeked of change, and I wasn’t sure why. But I could feel it in my bones. He popped the champagne cork and poured. I didn’t even wait to clink, I guzzled it down. And then another.”