She stopped walking and faced him. “Wait, so you’re going to college right now?”
“I should have an Associate’s degree by next spring. Hopefully a Bachelor’s a couple of years after that.” He grinned and arched an eyebrow. “Don’t act so shocked. I may not be a genius, but I do all right for myself.”
“No, of course. I just didn’t realize you were in school.” She grinned up at him. “Well, well. There’s more to you than meets the eye. Of course, what meets the eye is pretty good too.”
She couldn’t believe she’d said that out loud. He gave her a curious grin before pulling her into a deep kiss, loosening her hair from its ponytail and letting it fall into his hands.
She slid her hands up his chest, the heat of his skin a stark contrast to the cool breeze. He slipped his hands down her waist and under her shirt, searching for more.
“Wait.” She pulled away and grabbed his hands.
“Is something wrong?”
“I just, um. It’s just getting a little intense.”
He stepped forward and placed his hands casually around her back.
“And this is a bad thing?”
His smile reached out to her, tempted her resolve, but she looked away and took a deep breath.
“Let’s just say that I’m not overly experienced in this area, and I prefer to take things slow.”
He leaned in and nuzzled her nose. “I can definitely do slow, if that’s what you want.”
His voice was like silk over her skin, and when he kissed her again her body almost declared mutiny. But once again, she stepped away from him.
“Alex, wait. You’re not hearing me.”
He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “Okay, I’m listening. What do you need to tell me?”
“I just want to take things slow, physically I mean. I’m not use to getting so…so…”
“Heated up?” He grinned, and she couldn’t help but grin also.
She cleared her throat. “Well, yes. I guess.”
“Come on. You dated Jackson for, what, four or five years? And you two never, um, heated things up?”
“I knew Jackson very well by the time we started dating. And I knew we felt the same about taking things slowly, and stopping before we went too far. I barely know you at all.”
“You’re a virgin.”
She wasn’t sure if he was making a statement or asking a question.
“Well, yeah, I am. And I plan on keeping it that way until I get married.” She paused for a moment before asking a question she already knew the answer to. “I take it you’re not?”
“No. Is that a problem?”
“I don’t know why it would be. Does it bother you that I am a virgin?”
“Nah.” He waved a hand at her. “That’s pretty cool actually.”
“Look, let’s just slow down a little, okay?”
“Of course. I understand.”
They began walking again, and Alex wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
“You know, though,” he mumbled into her ear. “We only have a couple of hours left at best, so if you’re going to get to know me well enough to trust me, we better get started.”
She laughed and slapped him across the chest. “You really have a one-track mind, don’t you?”
“Oh, hush. You know you want me.”
They continued down the beach a bit, walking in quiet warmth, arms wrapped around each other. Then he sat down in the sand and pulled her in front of him where she could lean back on his chest. She laid her head on his shoulder and listened to the rolling waves accompanying the seagulls.
“Why are you waiting until you get married?” he asked, breaking the music.
She hesitated, strangely nervous about sharing her faith. What if it put him off? The night had been so perfect, and she didn’t want to dampen it.
“I’m a Christian,” she said finally. “And my faith is a huge part of who I am. It’s what gives me direction, and peace. And I believe God meant for a husband and wife to be so close that they become one. I don’t want to share that with anyone but the man who’s going to be with me for the rest of my life.”
She waited for him to respond, expecting a joke, but he sat silently behind her and stroked her arm with his fingers.
“You’re awfully quiet.” She turned to look up at him.
He kissed her forehead and looked into her eyes, his as dark at the night sky. Then he squeezed her tighter and laughed.
“I was just thinking about how passionate you are about your beliefs.”
“And that made you laugh?”
“No. But I was thinking. I’m going to have to marry you soon because I don’t know how long I can keep my hands off you.”
She grinned and another flush of warmth spread through her body.
“Well, Alex Walker, is that a proposal?”
“Maybe.” He pulled her face toward his. “I think I’m going to miss you.”
A wave of sadness suddenly washed over her. Maybe there would be some way to see him again.
“I can’t believe I have to leave in just a couple of hours. I feel like I just got here.”
He cradled her head and pressed his forehead to hers. “You could move down here and live with me. Who needs college anyway?”
“You could move to Birmingham. There are plenty of jobs for police officers.”
Reality was coming hard and fast, and she didn’t want him to see her cry. The faint light of daybreak eased into the eastern sky, and she couldn’t put off the inevitable. So she stood and offered a hand to help him up.
“Come on. You’re going to be exhausted in a couple of hours.”
When they reached his motorcycle, he wrapped her into a long hug, and tears threatened to breach her control. He threw one leg over the bike and straddled the seat.
“You have my number,” he said. “Seriously, give me a call sometime when you’re not too busy.”
“Okay.”
She stared down at the pavement, afraid to look him in the eye. He reached out for her chin and lifted it until their eyes met.
“I do hope I get to see you again.”
Then he kissed her one last time, stroking her cheek with his finger. He pulled his helmet over his head and took off the kickstand, and then he reached out his hand toward her. She took it and smiled.
Don’t go. The thought screamed in her head.
“Goodbye, Lily. I really had a great time.”
“Me too,” was all she could manage, and then she watched him crank the bike and drive away.
A flood of emotions overran her as she walked back to the window and climbed into her bed. All she could think about was wanting a few more hours with him. When she hit the bed, she pulled the pillow over her face and finally let her tears flow.
Chapter Eight
July 9
Birmingham, Alabama
Lily sat cross-legged on the bed and stared at her phone lying in front of her. Surely if he wanted to talk he would have called by now—at the very least sent her a text message. But maybe he’d already forgotten about her. Maybe he was waiting for her to make the first call. What would she even say?
How about hello?
Her dad’s words echoed in her head. It seemed so simple. Just say hello, and conversation should follow. But her stomach was in the middle of a gymnastics routine and wasn’t interested in slowing down. How was she going to stay calm enough to manage a conversation?
It would be so much easier to just send him a text. Plan it carefully; be sure to say the right things. But he hadn’t given her his cell number, just his work phone. At the time she hadn’t thought much of it, but maybe he hadn’t really wanted her to call him after all.
“This is so juvenile,” she mumbled.
She glanced around the room she had taken over at her aunt’s house looking for a momentary distraction. Her clothes spilled out of half-packed duffle bags in the corner. She could finish unpacking, but what was the point? She’d
just repack to go to her dad’s soon.
Her favorite books were piled high on the bedside table, but none of them appealed to her at the moment. Her volleyball rested at the foot of the bed, reminding her she needed to finish her ball-handling drills for the day. That could wait.
This is ridiculous, she thought. What was he going to do, anyway? Refuse to talk to her? At least if she called him she’d know for sure, and she could move on and forget about it. She picked up the phone and glanced at the business card Alex had given her. Then she punched the first few numbers and paused. Dialing a phone number should not be so difficult.
“Okay, Brennon. You’re acting like a girl. Pull it together.”
She tapped the last few numbers with more force than necessary, just to prove a point, but she still let out a sigh of relief when she got a recording. She could leave him a message and let him decide whether to call her back. Tapping in his extension, she took a deep breath and let it all the way out.
“Hi, Alex. It’s Lily. Just calling to say hello. So, um, hello.” A nervous giggle slipped out. “Give me a call if you want. I’m at my aunt’s house. Or you can call my cell. Bye.”
She hung up and slid further under her covers. That was brilliant. Who wouldn’t want to return that phone call? She reached over to the lamp on her nightstand and twisted it off.
“You are a freaking moron,” she muttered.
July 10
Birmingham, Alabama
“Okay, bring it in!” Lily blew her whistle and twenty exhausted teenage girls jogged to the center of the gym. She relished that their ponytails had lost their bounce since the morning and that the chatter had died down considerably once breathing became the main focus of their mouths.
“Good job this morning, ladies. You’re doing much better with your footwork today. Come back after lunch ready to play. We’ll be dividing you into teams and starting the tournament this afternoon.”
She stuck her hand into the middle of the group and the girls followed her lead.
“Defense on three.”
The gym echoed with the word, and the girls shuffled away into their corners of the gym. Lily jogged to a table off to the side and grabbed her keys and bottle of water. As she pushed open the gym door, sunlight flooded her vision and sent her into a fit of sneezing. Never failed.
She paused long enough for the sneezing to pass then jogged across the parking lot and pushed through the small wooded area that separated the church from her aunt’s driveway. It had been a stroke of unbelievable luck that most of the volleyball camps she’d be working were taking place at the church next door to Rebecca’s house. She had decided to stay there so she could avoid running into Jackson, but the pool in the backyard was definitely an added bonus.
She took the back porch steps in a single bound and looked longingly at the sparkling water. A swim would be the perfect cure to the blistering heat. Maybe she could do a pool workout this evening in place of running.
She pushed open the sliding glass door and stepped into the kitchen, welcoming the blast of air conditioning as she headed for her phone lying on the island. Grabbing the bread off the nearby pantry shelf, she pulled out a couple of slices as she checked for missed calls and tried not to get her hopes up. No numbers from Georgia. But one number sucked the breath out of her just the same.
“Jackson?”
She checked the number again, but there was no mistake. Jackson had called, but he hadn’t left a message. After over three months of silence, he had the nerve to just call her out of the blue. What could he possibly want?
Before she could over-analyze it, she dialed the number, determined to demand that he leave her alone. It was only fair after all. That was exactly what he’d wanted, and she’d definitely done her part.
“Hello?”
The shock of his voice stilled her racing thoughts. It was the familiarity more than anything else. Even after such a long time, his voice was like a pair of cozy slippers. Funny how something could be so soothing and so painful at the same time.
“Um, hey. It’s me. Lily.”
He let out a sigh. She could picture him perfectly, leaned against the door frame to his kitchen, his hair barely brushing the top of the doorway.
“Lily, I’m glad you called. I’d really like to talk to you.”
“Listen, I don’t know why you’re calling me all of a sudden-“
“I just want to talk,” he interrupted. “That’s all.”
She stepped outside onto the patio beside the pool and dropped into a padded lounge chair.
“Why?”
“Because. I just…I want to know how you’re doing.”
“Are you kidding? You tell me to leave you alone, so I do. And I don’t hear from you for months, and then one day it’s suddenly ‘Hi, Lily. How ya doing?’ Like we’re back in middle school or something.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I don’t need your apology. I’m doing just fine if you really want to know. So I’ll be hanging up now.”
“Wait. Don’t go yet.”
She rubbed her temple with her free hand, her head suddenly throbbing. Why was he doing this now?
“What do you want?”
“Look, I know I said some harsh things that night at my house, and I’m really sorry. If you want to hang up and never speak to me again, that’s fine. I deserve it. But I just want a chance to talk to you and explain some things. That’s all.”
“Fine. Go ahead. Explain away.”
“Well, I’d rather talk to you in person.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Her head pounded even harder.
“Come on,” he pleaded. “Why don’t you come by Mom’s for dinner tonight? She’s making spaghetti…with the homemade meatballs.”
A grin slipped through her lips before she realized it.
“That’s not fair. You can’t use Mary’s spaghetti to manipulate me.”
His chuckle drifted over the line, and it made her pause. He had laughed. And it reminded her of the peaceful babble of the stream that snaked through the neighborhood where they’d grown up. The same stream they’d played and fished in during another lifetime.
“I uh-” She stumbled to find her words. She couldn’t go backward. Those two kids were gone. “I can’t, Jackson. It’s just not a good idea.”
“Lil…” He paused, and she almost gave in. Almost.
“I’m sorry. I have to go.”
“Lily, please hear me out.”
“Goodbye, Jackson.”
She tapped the end button and put the phone down on the swing beside her. She dropped her head into her hands and massaged her temples. That was the last thing she’d needed today.
Later that afternoon, Lily settled into her aunt’s leather recliner and scrolled through the text messages on her phone, one from her mom—just checking in—and three from Jackson. Nothing yet from Alex.
She deleted the three from Jackson without even reading them then turned on the television so she could think of something else. She flipped through a hundred channels of nothing interesting before heading into the kitchen to dig around the pantry for a snack.
Her phone vibrated and popped, letting her know of an incoming text. Jackson again.
Lil, pls let me explain. If not at mom’s, then somewhere else. Name it. Pls.
She had to admit she was surprised by his persistence. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to hear him out. Then at least she could put her questions to rest and move on.
She hit reply.
Fine. But no dinner. I’ll drop by Mary’s around 8.
Jackson widened the blinds with his fingers and checked the street in both directions. No sign of her yet. He checked his watch. Ten after eight. Maybe she’d changed her mind. He checked his phone for any missed calls or messages, but there were none.
He couldn’t blame her. In fact he’d expected resistance from her. This was the same girl who had once stopped talking to him in eighth grade for five
months straight with no explanation whatsoever. To this day, he still had no idea what had pushed her away back then, no idea what had changed when she’d started talking to him again. And he’d learned not to bring it up.
But this was different. He knew exactly what had pushed her away, and it was entirely his fault.
“You okay?” His mom stepped beside him and wiped her hands on a dish towel tucked into her apron.
“Hanging in there.” He forced a smile.
“I’m sure you’re a bit nervous, but I’m glad you’re doing this. I’ve prayed for both of you so much lately.”
He glanced at her sideways, but had to look away from the hope in her eyes. It was hard enough to think about how much heartache she’d already endured, not to mention how deeply he’d hurt Lily as well. Maybe this had been a bad idea.
Lily’s blue Civic pulled over to the side of the street in front of his house, and his stomach plummeted.
“She’s here,” he said.
His mom gave him a pat on the shoulder as he headed for the front door.
“Tell her we’ve got plenty of spaghetti left if she’s hungry.”
“Sure.” He reached for the doorknob.
“And Jackson…” She smiled when he looked over at her. “Be patient. And listen to her.”
He nodded and closed the door behind him. As he walked down the front steps, he noticed Lily was still sitting in her car, hands on the steering wheel, engine still running. His first instinct was to go pull her out of the car, but he forced himself to stop on the walkway several feet away and wait until she was ready.
She glanced at him and cut the engine; then she pushed herself out of the car and slammed the door. She crossed her arms and leaned back against the car, and the sight of her nearly sucked the breath out of him.
Something was different.
“Well, I’m here.” She cut her eyes at him, but then she dropped her gaze to the grass below.
“I was beginning to think you’d changed your mind.”
“I did.”
“Then why are you here?”
She shrugged. “Changed it back.”
Her cold demeanor was like taking a hose to his confidence, which was already shaky. He had no idea where to even begin. He knew what he wanted to say, what he needed to do, but how to get her moving was the question.
Love's Providence: A Contemporary Christian Romance Page 10
