Love's Providence: A Contemporary Christian Romance

by Jennifer H. Westall

  A tear slipped down Lily’s cheek. “I can’t even imagine the pain you went through. I think I’d want to die right there with him.”

  “I did. I prayed so hard that God would somehow take me instead. Or just take me with him. But I saw how broken Adrian was, and I knew she’d need me. I thought we’d have each other and that we’d get through it together.”

  Lily waited in silence for him to continue, or for some words of comfort to come to mind. How could she possibly offer anything that might help?

  “I can’t believe I knew you for so long and never really knew you. I thought of you as this carefree, laid back guy who liked to cut up all the time. I actually thought you were arrogant and insensitive the first time I met you. Turns out you’re actually one of the strongest people I know. And you’re going to be an incredible father someday.”

  “Thank you. That means a lot to me.” He paused and cleared his throat again. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Of course.”

  “Do you think he’s in heaven?”

  She hesitated, knowing that sometimes her beliefs were not easy for people who had lost loved ones.

  “What do you think?” she asked.

  “I don’t know sometimes, and that scares me. I heard a preacher say once that all children go to heaven if they die before some kind of age of accountability, but that sounds strange to me. How can there be some set age where we finally become accountable for our actions. Doesn’t the Bible say we’re all born sinners?”

  “Yes.”

  “So if Evan was a sinner, and he never accepted Christ, doesn’t that mean he isn’t in heaven?”

  She thought back on conversations with her dad about the infant baptisms in their church, and the explanation given by the pastor. She felt so inadequate to answer his question, but she had to try.

  “I can’t give you an exact answer. I wish I could. The Bible doesn’t say what happens in cases like Evan’s. But I do know this. When God made a promise to his people, it was for them and their children. He makes it clear that our children are part of his family and that he loves them. And my dad always said that if he could trust God with his own salvation, he could certainly trust God with his children’s. If your faith is in Him, then I think you have every reason to have faith that Evan is with Him.”

  “Thank you, Lily.” She could feel the relief in his voice, almost see him smile. “That was more reassuring than anything anyone else has said to me, including the priests and pastors who’ve tried to answer my questions. And it’s not because you said what I wanted to hear, but because I think God just spoke to me through you. Maybe he hasn’t forgotten about me after all.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  September 12

  Birmingham, Alabama

  Lily hit a hard shot at Emily, and the ball sailed off her arms toward the stands. As Emily jogged after the ball, Lily glanced around at the students filing in, and a swarm of butterflies took flight in her stomach. The first home game of the season always did this to her, but she was more anxious than usual, and she wasn’t sure why. She needed to get those first few points out of the way. Then she’d settle into her zone. But for now, she’d have to keep her nerves under control.

  Emily returned and tossed the ball at her, and they continued to warm up, hitting the ball harder and harder at each other, until Lily had to dive after an errant hit. She missed, and the ball rolled toward the opposite corner of the gym. She jumped up and jogged after it, still trying to shake the feeling that something was off.

  She grew more and more uncomfortable as the warm ups continued, and as she waited in line to enter a drill, she looked around again at the crowd. The basketball players had taken up their usual spot in the bleachers and were already cheering obnoxiously loud. Several football players would join them as soon as their own practice was over. The sound system blared out an upbeat rhythm that should have intensified her focus, but something wasn’t right.

  She tapped Alison standing in front of her. “Hey, did we forget to do something?”

  Alison glanced over her shoulder and shouted back. “What do you mean?”

  “I don’t know. Something seems off, like we forgot something.”

  Alison looked at her like she’d said she was running off to join the circus.

  “Like what?”

  “I don’t know. I can’t put my finger on it.”

  Alison shrugged and stepped onto the court. As she passed a hit from Coach, Lily took another look around. What was she looking for? She looked up into the balcony, then behind her at the entrance. Nothing. Then she glanced over at the double doors leading out into the hallway and down to the locker rooms, and suddenly it hit her.

  That was his spot. Before nearly every home match, Jackson had stood in that very corner, smiling at her as she warmed up, finally taking a seat behind the bench. It had always steadied her nerves and made her smile in return. But now the corner stood empty, and it seemed so strange and sad. For a moment, she felt the familiar sensation of heaviness in her chest.

  She jogged over to a group of balls behind her and gathered them up, staring again at the gaping emptiness of the corner. It shouldn’t matter anymore. She probably just missed having someone at her game, not Jackson in particular. If Alex lived close by, he’d be the one smiling at her. She dropped the balls into the basket and returned to the line waiting to enter another drill. That was all it was. She just missed Alex. She missed Alex.

  “So did you win?”

  Lily slipped out of her towel and rung the water out of her hair with one hand while holding the phone to her ear with the other. She was pushed for time, so she tried to talk to Alex and change at the same time.

  “Yes, we slaughtered them,” she said.

  “Great! How about you? Did you play well?”

  “Yeah, I guess so. I got a few kills, some blocks, a couple of aces.”

  “I have no idea what you just said, but it sounded good.”

  She couldn’t help but laugh. “Maybe one day you can actually come to a game and learn a little bit.”

  “Yeah. I still feel bad about not making it to Atlanta last weekend.”

  “Forget it. You had to work. I understand. I’m pretty busy myself. School is going to kick my butt this semester.”

  “Do you have any games closer to me?”

  “Hang on.” She dropped the phone onto her bed, slipped her shirt over her head, and grabbed her schedule off her desk.

  “How far are you from Charleston?”

  “A couple of hours. When are you playing there?”

  “October fourth. I think that’s a Saturday. Are you working?”

  “Actually, I’m not. I’ll be off every Saturday from now on… since I made detective.”

  “That’s great! Congratulations!” She pulled her jeans the rest of the way up and grabbed her powder from the medicine cabinet. “Detective Walker. I like it!”

  “My first case is a string of burglaries over on Sea Island. The guys have gotten out of there with nearly a quarter of a million dollars so far.”

  “Wow. Sounds like fun.”

  “I know. I’m going over Monday to start interviewing people.”

  She applied some lip gloss and took a final glance in the mirror. That was good enough.

  “Listen, I want to hear all about it, but I have to run right now. Can I call you later?”

  “Where are you going? It’s after ten thirty there.”

  She paused at the fatherly tone in his voice. “There’s a bonfire for the football game tomorrow. And one of the basketball players is having a party at his apartment afterward.”

  “And you’re going?”

  “Yes. Why? Does that bother you?”

  He said nothing at first, and an uneasy feeling moved through her.

  “I guess I didn’t figure you for the partying type. You’re such a straight arrow all the time.”

  She relaxed and walked over to the bed where she slipped her sanda
ls on.

  “I don’t really party. I just hang out a little and mostly make sure my friends get home safe. It’s no big deal.”

  “If you say so.

  September 30

  New York

  Adrian Walker had never been one to give up easily, and this was no time to start. She’d signed the papers. There’d really been no way out of it. But she wasn’t about to just fade into the darkness while Alex rode off into the sunset with his sweet little princess.

  She tapped her fingernails on her desk in her cramped little closet and looked over the email account she’d set up a few months back that captured and stored all of Alex’s texts. Stupid klutz. Anyone so easily duped had no business being a police officer, let alone a freaking detective. She clicked on a group of messages from the week before and reread them.

  Lily Brennon: morning! hope u have a great day!

  Alex Walker: Thx. call me after ur 1st class. Miss u!

  Lily Brennon: k. miss u2!

  Alex Walker: working out w/ steve. would rather b

  w/u.

  Lily Brennon: at dinner. will call u in a min. bad

  day

  Alex Walker: why?

  Lily Brennon: C on my quiz. bad prac. Hav 2 run

  mile @ 6am.

  She clicked on more texts, most of them the same boring, mushy crap. It was pointless to read them. What did that pampered princess know about having a bad day? Just as she was about to logout of the account, a new message appeared. She opened it and read the line from Lily to Alex.

  Lily Brennon: 4 days! Can’t wait to see u in Charleston!

  Adrian read it again. Stupid, wretched little girl. He should have dumped her by now. He’d never stuck with any of the others this long.

  She picked up her cell and dialed Chloe’s number. As it rang, she wondered what was in Charleston. She brought up a new browser window and typed the first few letters of Samford. It auto-filled from her previous searches, and she tapped enter.

  “What do you want?” Chloe said.

  “Hey, so what’s the deal? You said this chick would be gone soon.”

  She scrolled through the website until she found the volleyball schedule. They were playing in Charleston on Saturday.

  “I thought she would be. Thought for sure she’d dump him once she found out about you.”

  “Well, I guess she doesn’t care anything about stealing someone’s husband.”

  Chloe sighed, but said nothing. Her support had been waning lately, and she was becoming downright annoying.

  “Is he going to Charleston on Saturday?” Adrian asked.

  “Look, I’ve told you everything I know. Several times in fact. Alex isn’t talking to me anymore, so I don’t know anything.”

  “Well, if you find out anything-”

  Chloe huffed. “Like I said, I don’t know anything.”

  “Fine. Sorry to have bothered you.”

  “If you wanted to hang onto him so much, why did you sign the papers?”

  Adrian took a sip of her coffee and placed it back on its coaster. She was tired of talking to Chloe. She had nothing useful anymore.

  “Look, I’m sorry to have taken up your time. I’ll let you get back to work.”

  She hung up the phone and reread the message again. More texts had appeared while she was talking to Chloe, and she opened the message.

  Alex Walker: Can’t wait to hold u again. Call me 2nite.

  Tough day. Need prayer.

  Lily Brennon: Thought it might be. Prayed 4 Evan in

  chapel. Adrian 2.

  Adrian’s stomach churned. How dare she? And how dare Alex tell some college kid about her life? She supposed Little Miss Perfect pitied her. Probably thought she was some pathetic loser. No telling what Alex had told her.

  Prayers. She better save her prayers for herself.

  So they were meeting in Charleston. She tapped her fingernails again. Who did she know in Charleston?

  October 4

  Charleston, South Carolina

  “Well, this wasn’t as bad as I was expecting.” Alex leaned across the corner of the table and took Lily’s hand.

  Her mouth spread into a wide smile. He loved how strands of her hair curled around her face after she’d been sweating, like a golden halo.

  “What do you mean?” she asked.

  He nodded at the rest of her teammates lining both sides of the table. He’d laughed when he joined them at the restaurant and noticed the only seat left was at the head of the table—where they could spy on him no doubt—but it had definitely made him uncomfortable.

  “They’ve been keeping a watchful eye on me, but at least I’ve gotten to talk to you.”

  She followed his gaze. “Yes, they’ve behaved remarkably well. But I knew they’d like you.” She looked back at him and squeezed his hand. “But everyone always likes you, don’t they?”

  “You mean the way you did? I seem to remember being called a complete jerk.”

  She laughed and looked away for a moment, her eyes dancing in the soft light. He wished he could get her alone, make her giggle and hold her close. It was completely unfair to have to share her with the people who got to see her every day.

  “Maybe I just caught you on a bad night.” She shrugged her shoulders and pushed her plate away. “My opinion of you did improve considerably over the next couple of days.”

  He leaned in closer, lowering his voice to nearly a whisper. “It was when I kissed your hand, wasn’t it? That’s when I had you.”

  “What?”

  “The night you apologized for being so mean. I kissed your hand and-“

  “Yes, I remember. And you apologized and admitted that you were indeed a jerk.”

  Her eyes sparked with the hint of indignation that had entertained him so much the first week they’d met.

  “Yeah, well I had to say something to get things turned around in my favor.”

  Her eyes widened.

  “Oh, don’t worry,” he said. “You should feel proud. You held out longer than any other woman ever has.”

  She slapped his shoulder and crossed her arms over her chest, but she couldn’t quite suppress her laughter.

  “Okay, I take back every nice thing I ever said about you, Walker. You’re a pig.”

  Just then the waitress returned with the bill and credit card for her coach, so the team gathered their things to leave. As they stood, Lily tugged on Alex’s hand.

  “Coach said we’re going to walk around the city for a bit, see the sights and stuff. You want to come?”

  “Sure.”

  They followed the crowd of girls out the door, hanging back just a bit. He almost laughed out loud when a few of the younger girls kept glancing back at them.

  “What is their fascination with me?”

  “Oh, that. They were all asking a bunch of questions about you on the bus, and Em indulged a little. She has them convinced you’re some kind of super government agent.”

  He had to admit he liked the sound of that. He threw his arm over Lily’s shoulder and pulled her closer, looking around downtown Charleston. It was beautiful, but he’d seen it all before. There were so many live oaks draped with Spanish moss around Saint Simons and the surrounding areas, it had lost its mystique for him. He’d much rather be back at the hotel alone with her.

  He leaned down and nuzzled her ear. “So when can I get you all to myself?”

  She shuddered and smiled. “That tickles.” She tried to pull away, but he held her tighter.

  “Come with me.” He pulled her to the side and between a couple of shops.

  “Alex!” Lily glanced over her shoulder. “Coach is right over-“

  He pressed her against the brick wall behind her and covered her mouth with his, finally tasting what he’d been wanting for weeks. Without hesitation she responded, wrapping her fingers around his head. His blood warmed and rushed through him, demanding more.

  He reached for her shirt and pushed his hand underneat
h, the feel of her bare skin only driving him further. He moved to her neck, tasted the salt that still lingered.

  “God, I can’t wait to get back to the room and get you alone,” he said.

  She pushed him back and looked down the alley toward the street. “I can’t. Coach will kill me. She’ll kill me now if she sees me.”

  “Why does she care? You’re a grown woman.”

  “With responsibilities. I’m a team captain, and I can’t be sneaking off into alleys and hotel rooms to make out with my boyfriend while we’re at a play date. Coach makes a big deal about us representing our school.”

  “Okay fine. I get it.”

  He backed away a step. The last thing he wanted was to get her in trouble, but what was the harm in stealing a few moments together?

  “Don’t you ever get tired of trying to be perfect?”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  He saw her anger flash and knew he was pushing buttons better left alone, but his own frustration sent words out of his mouth before he could stop them.

  “You always have to follow the rules, and do what everyone else thinks is right all the time. When do you ever just relax and enjoy yourself? You can’t be perfect all the time.”

  “I’m not trying to be perfect. I just want to make the right decisions.”

  “And who decides what’s right?”

  She crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at him, opening her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She looked back down the alley, and he followed her gaze. Something, a movement out of place, caught his attention momentarily.

  “Did you see that?” he asked.

  “What?” She huffed and crossed her arms.

  “I thought I saw something.” Or had it been someone? It had happened too fast.

  “I didn’t see anything.”

  He turned his attention back to Lily as she started to make her way back toward the street.