Star Trek: Voyager - 043 - Acts of Contrition

by Kirsten Beyer

  “Did you tell her it is an emergency?”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because it isn’t.”

  “Reg, until the programs I require are integrated into this sickbay, it is impossible for me to begin my work.”

  Barclay sighed again. “I’ve already put in a request to come over as soon as it is permitted. Our officers are scheduled to return shortly.”

  “And what am I supposed to do until then?”

  “Run a self-diagnostic,” Barclay replied.

  “Why would I do that?” the Doctor asked.

  “Because it will save me the time of running it when I get there. I don’t know how long we’ll have. There are already rumors that our ships will be separating as early as tomorrow.”

  “You performed a level-ten diagnostic a few months ago. You said I was functioning within normal parameters,” the Doctor insisted.

  “You just forgot that we are not permitted to use our transporters. That order has been in effect since we arrived in Confederacy space.”

  “I have a lot on my mind,” the Doctor said.

  “You don’t ‘forget’ orders, Doctor,” Barclay said. “You can’t. Except just now, you did.”

  “I misspoke.”

  “You can’t do that either.”

  “Obviously, I can.”

  “Doctor?”

  “I’m sorry,” the Doctor said. “I’ll run the diagnostic.”

  “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

  “Thank you, Reg.”

  When Barclay’s face vanished from the screen, the Doctor initiated the diagnostic. To his relief, it showed no loss of function or program corruption.

  Satisfied with the results, he began to prioritize the real work to be done when Barclay arrived.

  VESTA

  Lieutenant Julian Psilakis, Vesta’s third officer and bridge commander for gamma shift, intended only to step briefly into the captain’s ready room to collect a few reports Roach had left for him at shift change. All had been quiet at the start of gamma shift, and he assumed it would remain so now that his captain and the admiral had returned from the celebration.

  Psilakis was surprised to find Captain Farkas sitting at her desk when he entered. He knew her shuttle had docked a few minutes before, but he assumed she would go straight to her quarters. She had to be exhausted.

  The look on her face confirmed that suspicion.

  “Captain,” he greeted her immediately.

  “Anything to report, Lieutenant?” she asked.

  “All systems are nominal. Gamma shift is under way.”

  “You could just say, ‘no,’ Psilakis,” Farkas reproached him gently.

  “Yes, Captain,” Psilakis said. “I’ll return to the bridge. Unless there’s anything you need?”

  “A time machine?” Farkas teased. “No. Scratch that. Never a good idea.”

  “Was the celebration not what you had hoped for?” Psilakis ventured.

  “It was a good party,” she allowed. “Lost my appetite early in the evening, but they’d already served us three meals worth of calories so I’m still stuffed.”

  “Was the food not to your liking?”

  “Most of it was delicious,” she replied.

  “Why did you lose your appetite?”

  “The company, mostly.”

  “You were not impressed?”

  “Oh, I was,” she corrected him, “just not in a good way.”

  “Captain?”

  “They put on a great show, and a lovely dinner. Whoever designs their clothing made out like a bandit tonight. But scratch a little beneath that glittering surface and there are a lot of troubling realities that disturb digestion.”

  “Do you believe the admiral will continue to pursue diplomatic relations?”

  “I do. I would if I were her. We don’t have to love every single thing about another civilization to make diplomatic overtures. There’s a case to be made that especially when there are so many differences between two cultures, diplomacy is essential to avoiding pointless conflicts.”

  “Agreed,” Psilakis said.

  Farkas motioned Psilakis closer and turned her viewer so that he could see the image she had been studying: an alien armada grouped around the Gateway that led to the Confederacy.

  “They seem to have a lot of enemies, don’t they?” Farkas observed.

  “So does the Federation.”

  “Touché,” Farkas said. “And in this case, against some pretty staggering odds, it appears that some of the Confederacy’s enemies were once ours as well: the Turei, the Vaadwaur, and the Devore,” Farkas said, sighing. “On paper, the Turei and Vaadwaur don’t bury centuries of enmity in a few years, nor do they make new friends with the Devore—a vast Imperium, to be sure, but one located tens of thousands of light-years from Turei space. Yet here they are, sitting at the front door to a Gateway leading directly to the Confederacy’s First World, and right now, the only thing preventing them from entering is superior firepower on the Confederacy’s part.”

  “Do you believe that will change?”

  “Given enough time, it usually does.”

  “You don’t want to see the Federation make an alliance if it means that, as a result, we’ll soon find ourselves in the middle of someone else’s war?”

  “That’s part of it,” Farkas agreed.

  “What’s the rest?”

  “I don’t know if our fleet is ready to take on an allied force comprised largely of alien races predisposed to hate us. I didn’t want that time machine so I could go back and get out of attending tonight’s dinner. I wanted it so I could spend some time with Voyager during their first mission out here,” Farkas said.

  “As her captain?” Psilakis asked.

  “No, thank you,” Farkas replied. “As a fly on the wall.”

  “Why?”

  “The logs indicate a number of successful diplomatic exchanges, but it sure seems like they managed to piss off more species than they befriended.”

  “Given the circumstances . . .” Psilakis began.

  “I’m not judging them, Lieutenant,” Farkas interjected. “I wouldn’t wish their fate on an enemy, let alone a fellow officer, and by all rights they should never have made it home in one piece. But their choices have resulted in massive alterations to this quadrant. The Voth originated tens of thousands of light-years from our communications relays, but clearly, upon learning the Federation was back in the Delta Quadrant, they decided it was worth the trip to try and hamstring our efforts. The Vaadwaur should still be asleep beneath their planet’s surface, but thanks to Voyager they are now alive and well. Voyager barely escaped destruction at the hands of the none-too-pleasant Turei when Admiral Janeway successfully pitted them against the Vaadwaur. The Devore are my favorite, though. Have you read the admiral’s reports of that encounter?”

  “No,” Psilakis admitted.

  “Voyager was granted safe passage—if you call being boarded and searched every five minutes ‘safe’—through Devore space, so long as they offered no assistance to any telepathic individuals they encountered on the way. Apparently the Devore really don’t like telepaths.”

  “Why not?”

  “How should I know? My PS-scale readings don’t even register,” Farkas said, smiling. “Obviously Janeway’s telepathic crew members are an exception. She had to hide them. But she also intentionally took on telepathic refugees, at their risk and hers, and engaged in a long game of cat and mouse with the Devore’s chief inspector to save them. It was the right thing to do. We don’t ignore distress calls, like the one Voyager received from those telepaths. But we also keep our word. I can’t decide if Janeway didn’t care, or cared too much.”

  “Either way, I’m guessing she didn’t make a friend of the Devore,” Psilakis said.

  “Nope,” Farkas agreed. “And they’re one of the bigger guns out there on the Confederacy’s front porch. But here’s my question: Have they come to the Gate
way for their own reasons, or did they somehow follow Voyager’s trail when she came out here to investigate the wave forms a few months ago? And how much of this would be happening if Admiral Janeway had made different choices the first time around?”

  “Would you like me to take a closer look at those logs?” Psilakis asked.

  “I would,” Farkas replied. “I’m going to do the same.”

  “Tonight? Due respect, Captain, you need your rest.”

  “Your concern is noted, Lieutenant. Now get back to the bridge before my chair gets cold,” she added, dismissing him.

  Captain Chakotay had made his way to the admiral’s quarters at her request as discreetly as possible. It wasn’t a violation of duty or protocol for him to meet with the fleet’s commander, even this late in the evening. No one he passed in the halls en route would have given his presence a second thought. But Starfleet Command had ordered Kathryn to keep quarters aboard the Vesta when she was reinstated, and Chakotay hoped that most of Vesta’s junior officers didn’t know the reason why.

  He didn’t bother with the chime. He had left the admiral in the shuttlebay and knew she would be along momentarily. He was shocked when he entered, however, to find Counselor Hugh Cambridge waiting, nightcap in hand, in a chair before the admiral’s desk.

  “Captain,” Cambridge greeted him, lifting his glass.

  “Does the admiral know you are here?” Chakotay asked. He was accustomed to Cambridge’s routine flouting of propriety, but Kathryn would never allow it.

  “The admiral asked me to let myself in and wait here for her,” Cambridge replied. “I didn’t ask about using the replicator, though. Do you think she’ll mind?”

  “No,” Chakotay replied. “How did the evening go for you, Counselor?” he asked, taking the seat next to him.

  “Do you think there is even a word in Djinari-odt for subtle?” Cambridge asked.

  “It was quite a spectacle,” Chakotay agreed.

  “The admiral said the formal debriefing could wait until the morning,” Cambridge said. “But here you are.”

  “I know you don’t have a problem with that,” Chakotay said, wondering at the faint contempt he was reading from the counselor.

  “Of course not. You’re grown-ups. You’re entitled to do what you like with your off hours.”

  Chakotay stared at the counselor. He could have used some wise counsel regarding the challenges he and Kathryn were facing communicating with one another right now. But something in Hugh’s demeanor silenced those questions.

  “How are you adjusting to Seven’s departure?” Chakotay asked instead.

  “Better than I’d expected,” Cambridge replied.

  Chakotay found this hard to believe. “As soon as she’s given Starfleet Medical what help she can, she’ll be back.”

  “Please don’t lie to me or, worse, yourself,” Cambridge retorted. “She’s never coming back.”

  “Of course she is,” Chakotay said, stunned.

  “You sent her off alone to become guinea pig two of two,” Cambridge said.

  “Doctor Sharak is with her and Tom Paris is near at hand.”

  “How is it possible you are still that naive?”

  “Gentlemen,” the admiral’s voice cut through the tension. Chakotay and Cambridge both rose to face her.

  “Admiral,” Chakotay greeted her.

  “What did you wish to speak with me about, Counselor?” Janeway asked.

  “I wanted to make sure you were aware that Lieutenant Lasren barely survived the party tonight,” Cambridge replied. “I’m sure you’re going to want him by your side as you begin negotiations, but you need to know how hard it is on him to use his empathic abilities with the Leodt and Djinari.”

  “Thank you, Counselor,” Janeway said. “Did the lieutenant say why?”

  “There is a tangible terror that lives just beneath the surface of the Confederacy’s elite,” Cambridge said.

  “Fear of those on the outside and what might happen if they breach the Gateway?” Janeway asked.

  “Fear that everyone around them is doing better than they are. Fear that they’ll never accumulate enough to keep the wolf from their door,” Cambridge corrected her.

  “The wolf?”

  “The Market Consortium. Surely you’ve realized by now that they run this civilization.”

  “I only spoke with a few of them tonight, but certainly more of their representatives than the presider’s advisors,” Janeway said.

  “These people are hungry, but they are only permitted to eat what they kill. They have success but no real security. It’s a tough way to live.”

  “Chakotay,” Janeway said, “I’d like to have the counselor transferred to my team for the next few weeks. Can Voyager do without him?”

  “We’ll muddle through,” Chakotay assured her.

  “Excellent. I’ll see you in the morning, Counselor.”

  “Good night, Admiral, Captain,” Cambridge said, raising his glass to both of them as he departed with it still in his hand.

  As soon as he had gone, Janeway moved to the room’s sitting area, two small sofas separated by a table, and motioned for Chakotay to join her. When they were both settled, she put her feet up and asked, “Is he a little more surly than usual?”

  Chakotay nodded. “He’s worried about Seven.”

  Janeway tipped her head back and rolled her neck gently from side to side. “He’s not the only one.”

  “Hugh and Seven began a relationship a few months ago.”

  “I thought he was her counselor.”

  “He was. Now he’s more. He thinks she won’t come back once she is reunited with Axum.”

  Janeway seemed to consider this. “I don’t think that’s likely.”

  “You don’t have as much to lose as he does if you’re wrong.”

  “That’s not true either. I’m already missing her perspective and it’s only been a few weeks.”

  “How are you doing otherwise?” Chakotay asked.

  Janeway inhaled deeply and released the breath slowly.

  “That well?”

  “I’m trying to keep an open mind,” she said.

  “Part of the job, right?”

  Janeway shrugged. “I suppose. But if we’d made this contact when we were out here the first time, we’d already have resumed our course for home by now.”

  “You think so?”

  “Presider Cin is a lovely person. I think she genuinely cares for her people. But I have a feeling that the differences between us go a lot deeper than economics or technology.”

  “The same can be said of many Federation members and allies.”

  “True,” Janeway said. “They control more space than any group in the Delta Quadrant we’ve encountered aside from the Borg. They’re civilized, technologically advanced, have a stable, representative government; in theory they’re an ideal ally for us.”

  “Is Command pushing you to form this alliance?”

  “They could use some good news. It would also ensure the fleet’s position. But I won’t make a deal with the devil.”

  Chakotay smiled at a memory. “I thought those were sort of your specialty.”

  Janeway punched him playfully. She then moved closer and settled herself beneath his arm. “Who did you talk to tonight?”

  “I’ll tell you in the morning at the briefing,” Chakotay replied.

  Janeway crooked her neck to look at him. “Do I need to remind you that I’m your commanding officer?”

  “Only if you plan on spending the rest of the night letting your pips keep you warm.”

  She smiled, and Chakotay felt the last of the tension he’d been holding begin to vanish.

  “I missed you so much,” she said.

  “I missed you too, Kathryn.”

  She moved her face closer, and for a moment, he considered forgetting the last few weeks.

  But only for a moment.

  “We haven’t gotten off to a great start since you�
�ve been back,” he reminded her.

  “No,” she agreed. “But we’ve always managed to work through our differences in the past.”

  “If I’m remembering the same timeline you are, most of those differences were resolved by you doing whatever you thought best. If I happened to agree, there was less conversation.”

  Janeway’s back stiffened visibly. “Do you think this is a bad idea?” she asked.

  “Nope,” he replied. “I just think we both need to agree about how this is going to work going forward.”

  “I have always respected you and your opinions,” Janeway insisted.

  “As have I yours,” Chakotay replied. “And as the officer in command of this fleet, I understand that sometimes you are going to have to make tough calls. But we’re more than fellow officers now. There’s no way to take it back, no matter how it might complicate our working relationship.”

  “I have no intention of taking it back.”

  “Then we have to be on the same page.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “You need to tell me what happened to you in the last three months. You’ve changed, Kathryn. I sense you’re more at peace, but I don’t know how you got there. And I also need to know that when things get tough, you’re not going to retreat behind your rank.”

  Janeway stared at him, a faint smile playing over her lips.

  “You’ve changed too,” she said.

  “I guess I have. I know now that here, by your side, is the only place I ever want to be. And as long as you want the same thing, I’m going to do whatever it takes to make sure we don’t mess this up. We both deserve as much happiness as the universe will grant us.”

  “What do you need from me that you don’t already have?”

  “Your trust. That’s always going to be more important to me than your respect.”

  Janeway nodded. “Okay.”

  “So tell me about Earth.”

  For the next few hours, they talked.

  She told what she’d learned of Admiral Montgomery and how close he’d come to ending the fleet’s mission in the Delta Quadrant. She told him of her newfound confidence in Admiral Akaar’s judgment but noted the scrutiny under which every move they made would be reviewed. She told him about the many happy hours she’d spent with her mother, and of her sister’s disappointment in her choice to return to duty. She spoke of the time she’d spent with Counselor Austen and all she’d learned of letting go.