Until September

by Brenda Jernigan

  “I try to make the best of what I got,” Billy said, intending to go to the creek and wash any thoughts of her out of his mind and body. But he made the mistake of looking at her. Their eyes locked, and he saw a longing expression in their depths. He couldn’t draw his eyes away.

  That scared the shit out of him.

  Finally, he forced himself to turn and start toward the river. He hoped the water was good and cold because he needed something to cool the burning urge roaring within him. He could do it one of two ways. He could sink into Claire’s warm body and die happy. Or he could drown himself in the water ... he chose the latter.

  Dusk had finally settled in and the campfire burned with an orange glow as Claire combed her fingers through the long strands of her hair. It was almost dry. The roasted rabbit smelled good as it sizzled over the fire, and she was more than ready to eat. She’d never eaten rabbit. She was doing many things she’d never done before, and each new thing was more exciting than the one before.

  The familiar tickle started in the back of her throat. Grabbing the bottle of medicine from her pocket, she took a small sip. This time she received instant results.

  Billy came strolling up. He had her torn petticoat in his hand, and he looked refreshed from his bath. His damp hair glistened black in the firelight and his skin appeared much darker than normal. Billy West looked dangerous, and she felt drugged by his clean and manly scent.

  “Are you hungry?” Claire asked Billy.

  “Starved. I only have one plate, knife, and fork, but we can make do,” Billy said as he produced each item from a saddlebag. “Here is a canteen.”

  Billy removed the rabbit from the spit and placed it on the plate Claire held. “Ain’t no delicate way to do this,” he said, cutting the meat. It was so tender that it fell apart. “Give it a minute to cool, then dig in.”

  She took a small bite, and chewed for a moment before murmuring her approval, “This is so good.”

  “Glad you like it, but I reckon you’re just too hungry to care. Wish I could offer something else to go with it,” he said, and then he took a piece for himself.

  Claire chuckled and Billy glanced at her, puzzled.

  “What?”

  “I was just thinking about what my mother would say if she could see me eating with my fingers.” Claire rolled her eyes. “I can hear the lecture now. But you know, it’s fun doing things you’re not supposed to.”

  “I take it you’ve always done everything the right way.” As far as Billy was concerned, rules were made to be broken.

  Claire smiled. “Pretty much.”

  He reached for another piece of meat and shrugged. “Sometimes you learn from doing things the wrong way.”

  “But I’ve never been given the chance,” Claire said. She licked the grease off her fingers, and then wiped her mouth delicately with the piece of petticoat. “Are you going to teach me the things I need to know?”

  Her voice was so soft that Billy found himself looking at her mouth and saying his thoughts out loud. “I’ll teach you anything you want to learn.”

  Her eyes glistened. “Anything?”

  “Anything,” Billy replied.

  Good, Claire thought She just didn’t know how to ask him to teach her how to love, and she had no idea how to seduce him. Just the thought of Billy holding her in his arms sent a shiver of anticipation skipping over her body. Flustered, she dropped the plate and the bones scattered over the ground.

  “I’ve made a mess,” she said and began to pick up the bones to cover her agitation. Thankfully, Billy didn’t comment on what she’d said, and the sensual spell was broken.

  While she cleaned up, Billy put more wood on the fire. Soon the flames leapt high, bathing them with warmth. Even though the days had been warm, the nights turned cool once the sun set.

  “Where do I sleep?” Claire asked.

  Billy had just sat down on the blankets. “Right here beside me,” he said as he removed his boots.

  She supposed she should have protested, but she didn’t. With a shudder of anticipation, Claire slipped off her shoes and joined him on the blankets. She faced him and folded her arm under her head. She wanted to see his face while they talked.

  “Tonight will get even colder,” Billy said. “The fire will keep the animals away, but we’ll need to share our body heat to keep warm.”

  “Animals?” Claire asked, a smidgen of alarm skittering through her. She slipped closer to him without realizing that she had.

  Billy chuckled. “You probably don’t want to know the many animals that lurk out here. But I’ll protect you.”

  She smiled at him, wondering if he felt this intense physical awareness that she did. “I’m counting on that”

  “I guess we should get some sleep,” he said finally. “Morning comes early.”

  That wasn’t what she’d hoped he’d say, but Claire snuggled closer. Here she was, sharing body heat, and all Billy could think of was sleep. Maybe she wasn’t as appealing to him as he was to her. Ann would surely flunk her at seducing Billy. She obviously had as much effect on him as a pesky fly.

  Here they were all alone out in the middle of nowhere, and he wasn’t taking all the hints she was throwing his way. Was she doing it wrong, or did he just not desire her? Claire had no idea what would happen once they reached Denver, so she decided that now was the best time to give it one more try. She reached out and touched his hand.

  “I’m not sleepy. Let’s talk for a while,” she said in a husky tone.

  He tightened his fingers around hers. For a long moment, Claire felt as if she were floating as she stared into Billy’s strong face and compelling eyes, trying to communicate her desires to him. She knew she didn’t want this moment to end.

  Billy felt as though he was cornered in a dead-end canyon without a gun. He was responsible for keeping Claire safe, not violating her. He had to figure out how to keep his mind off what he really wanted. Maybe talking would help. He swallowed and tried to moisten his dry mouth. “What would you like to talk about?”

  Claire looked as though he’d hit her, but he couldn’t think like that. After a moment, she recovered. “Tell me about your family,” she said. “What do they do now?”

  “They have a cattle ranch named The Wagon Wheel. Thunder is also a lawyer. Doesn’t practice much, though.”

  “Why didn’t you stay on the ranch and help?” Claire asked as she watched Billy’s face. She wanted to learn everything she could about him. Maybe then she’d know how to reach out and make him understand.

  “I did for a while, and then I thought it was time to strike out on my own. At first I made a real mess of things. I realized I was going down the wrong path, and was more likely to wind up in jail than make something of myself. Then I met Ben. Actually, Thunder introduced us. I went to work for your uncle and found I liked the stage line.”

  “But I thought you wanted to start a horse ranch?”

  “I do. That is my dream,” Billy said, his voice distant. “But dreams cost money, and that is something I don’t have.”

  “What about your family?” Claire asked, wanting to reach out and touch him, but still unsure of herself. “Don’t they have money? Won’t they help you?”

  “They do, but that’s their money. I want to make something of myself on my own.”

  “You are a very proud person.”

  “Where I come from, pride is important to a man. Without it, you’re nothing.”

  “I could lend you the money,” she said softly.

  Billy stiffened, then he reached over and touched the side of her face. “You are so sweet. But this is something I have to do for myself. Your uncle is paying me handsomely to bring you safely to Denver. That will be my start.”

  “So I’m nothing more than a job to you?” Claire asked, feeling completely rejected. Had she read more into Billy’s actions than was really there?

  He stared at her for a few moments, then he cleared his throat. “At first that was the c
ase,” he said huskily. “But now ...”

  “Well, don’t stop there. You’ve already insulted me.”

  Billy placed his hand on Claire’s. “But now... I don’t know how to explain it. Before I met you, you were just a name. Now, I have met the person that goes with the name and you’ve become—” His eyes were dark as he stared down at her, and they seemed to bore right into her. Claire wished to God she could read his thoughts. “I care about you, Claire.”

  Claire’s heart began to beat faster. Her pulse raced. Had she heard him correctly? He cared about her.

  She couldn’t move.

  She couldn’t think.

  He cared about her! His eyes held a warm intimate look as he lay there watching her reaction.

  This was a big moment, Claire realized. And she usually said the wrong things at times like this. Such an attraction to this man could be perilous. Yet, she was certain it could be wonderful as well.

  The old Claire would think she should wait. But, she reminded herself, she had nothing to lose. Nothing could ever be perilous for her now. She wanted to experience what she only dreamed of having before, and she wanted to experience it with somebody she loved. She knew now that what she felt for Billy was much stronger than anything she’d ever felt for David. Her heart ached with what she could and couldn’t have. She might not have forever, but what if she could have her heart’s dream for just a little while. What if she took the chance?

  She reached over and placed a hand on his chest. “I care about you, too,” she said softly.

  Billy made a noise, a groan that sounded as though he were in pain, before pulling her to him. For a moment, he just held her, and Claire knew she’d found heaven. Her head fit perfectly in the hollow between his shoulder and neck.

  “Claire, we are from two different worlds,” he murmured into her hair.

  “Should that change the way we feel about each other?”

  “In the long run it will.”

  She drew back and looked at him. “Billy, tomorrow may never come. Some of us don’t have tomorrows. I know how I feel right this very moment, and I want you to make love to me.”

  Billy couldn’t take any more temptation. He looked into Claire’s deep blue eyes and saw that she meant what she said. The desire that he saw scared him. A man could get lost in those eyes. Then he felt what little sanity he possessed slowly seeping out of his body. What would one little kiss hurt? “You were not in my plans, Claire Holladay.”

  “For tonight, forget about past, present, and future and be here with me,” she whispered.

  Billy brushed his lips against her cheek and then ever so slowly he moved up to her earlobe, where he placed tender kisses as he whispered in her ear, “We shouldn’t be doing this. I have nothing to offer you. Send me away.”

  Claire shivered in his arms. Her soft curves molded perfectly to the contours of his lean body. “You have yourself, Billy. That’s all I want Make love to me.”

  She didn’t have to ask again.

  His mouth found Claire’s, and he took what he’d been craving. This soft willing body, pressing so urgently against him, sent him right over the edge. It didn’t help that he actually felt something for her ... something he didn’t want to feel. As her arms went around his neck, she returned his kisses with all the eagerness a man could want. After that, all Billy’s logical thoughts ceased to exist

  His lips pressed on hers, and she parted her lips as if she knew what he wanted. He delved into her warmth, savoring the taste of her as his demanding lips caressed hers.

  Finally, he pulled back. “You have on too many clothes,” he told her while he unhooked her dress.

  She didn’t flinch or bat his hand away. Instead, her eyes never left his face, as if she were trying to memorize it The trust he saw in her eyes humbled him.

  He slipped the gown from her shoulders and discovered that she had nothing on underneath. Her skin looked like ivory. Billy’s breath caught in his throat as he stripped off his own clothes while feasting his eyes on Claire’s beautiful body. She was perfection.

  “Come,” he said as he reached for her and pulled her into his arms, dragging her fully against his body. She fit him perfectly.

  His arms encircled her, and he placed one hand on the small of her back. He drew her face to his as he pressed kisses on her cheeks and then to the pulsing hollow at the base of her throat Then he found what he truly wanted. His demanding lips caressed hers. He wanted to know every intimate detail of her.

  Claire now knew what physical love was. She was shocked at her own eager responses to the touch of his lips. His moist, firm mouth demanded a response. She felt transported on a soft and wispy cloud of pleasure. She couldn’t believe that she was letting him do such things to her. But it felt so right that she was powerless to resist. His mouth opened over hers with such a fiery demand that her whole body responded. She tried to get closer to him, and when she did, she felt his rigid arousal pressing urgently against her. Instead of scaring her, as it should, it fired her blood.

  Claire needed Billy West more than she had ever needed anything.

  Slowly, she parted her lips and let him kiss her intimately. When she responded with her own tongue, she heard him moan.

  Billy’s mouth left hers, and he began to trail kisses down her throat, but he didn’t stop there. He kept moving down her chest until he found her rose-tipped nipples. He licked circles around the tight nubs, then captured one trembling peak in his mouth. He teased it to the hardness of stone. She gasped as he suckled at her breast. Her quick intake of breath pleased him.

  With his other hand he rubbed her body with agonizing slowness, teasing her, taunting her, as he moved further down her body. He parted her legs and found the tempting throbbing spot deep within her that she offered him. With little coaxing, she instinctively parted her legs, and his fingers slid through the curls down to her moist warmth.

  His fingers burned into her tingling skin. Claire jerked. She wanted to pull away, yet at the same time, she wanted more. As he moved his fingers within her, he kissed her taut nipples, rousing a melting sweetness within her. She arched her back in surrender, and all the while his hands were moving, teasing her, making her ache for something more.

  Billy rolled her on her back and positioned himself between her legs. He saw the passion in her eyes and knew that she felt the same things he did. He eased into her little by little. God she was tight. He didn’t want to hurt Claire, but there was no other way. He took a deep breath and drove into her.

  Claire cried out. She didn’t realize it would hurt so much. She struggled to get away from him, but he held her tight

  “I’m sorry. I hurt you,” he whispered in a choked voice. “The pain will ease in a moment, sweetheart. Do you want me to stop?” Billy asked. He lay very still and after a moment her body adjusted. If she said yes, he’d probably die right here. He couldn’t remember when he’d wanted somebody as much as he did this woman.

  “No,” she said in a faint voice.

  Slowly, he started to move again, feeling her tightness surrounding him. She was driving him crazy with desire. Her arms tightened around him, and she began to move with him.

  His shoulders and arms were taut with the strain of holding back, but as soon as she began to match his rhythm, he could hold back no longer.

  After the pain eased, Claire enjoyed the feeling of Billy within her. The dormant sexuality of her body had been awakened and she craved the unknown as she moved with him, searching for something more. When he thrust deeper, she felt an awakened response from deep within her. The flames of passion burned and her body began to vibrate with liquid fire.

  Together they found the tempo that bound their bodies as one as they both found bliss. A burst of sensations made tears spring to her eyes.

  Claire knew the flooding of uncontrollable jay when she saw stars bursting into a bright light before her eyes.

  Without a word and wrapped in a blanket of contentment, she snuggled within
Billy’s arms and fell fast asleep.

  The next morning just before daybreak, they lay in each other’s arms. Claire had never felt so contented and safe. A gentle breeze blew over them, cooling her heated skin. The fire still kept the area bathed in a soft orange glow. She turned to face Billy.

  He reached and brushed the hair clinging to her cheeks away from her face. “You are so beautiful,” he whispered. “Did you sleep well?”

  “I’ve never slept better,” Claire admitted.

  Billy took a deep breath, “Claire, I shouldn’t have made love to you.”

  “I didn’t please you?” she asked. She didn’t try to hide the disappointment in her voice.

  “Hell, yes, you pleased me. I feel like I’ve died and gone to heaven,” Billy paused. “Here in front of me is an angel, an angel I don’t deserve.”

  She took his hand and pulled it to her lips to kiss his palm. “You put yourself down, Billy West. You deserve anything you want”

  He stared at her for a long moment. “You don’t understand. I’m not the marrying kind, Claire,” he blurted out

  Claire wasn’t sure what to say. Maybe Billy didn’t want her, and this was his way of telling her. But then again she had no intention of marrying, either. After a long moment of silence she said, “Good. Neither am I.”

  Billy wasn’t sure what he expected, but it definitely wasn’t the answer he’d just received. He’d expected a little disappointment on her part— maybe a tear.

  He received neither.

  And the damn part about it—he experienced a stab of displeasure and he had no idea why. Wasn’t her answer what he wanted? Hadn’t he said he didn’t want to get saddled with a woman?

  Without thinking what he was doing, he pulled her closer. “I’m sorry I hurt you last night I would never hurt you.”

  She looked up at him. “Are you sorry we made love?”

  “No,” Billy said huskily, taking her hand. “It was wonderful. You sorry?”