The Hobgoblin Riot: Dominion of Blades Book 2: A LitRPG Adventure

by Matt Dinniman

  We had a long day ahead of us. After I finished assigning towers, I was going to go out and try to figure out the mysterious Ladies’ Choice tower. It only allowed us to assign female occupants, but otherwise, it appeared to be a larger-than-usual arrow tower. When we’d assigned it last night, it had only scored a couple kills as the host of emo-tong passed. I had a hunch that there was something more going on there.

  Jonah had his own skunkworks lab percolating in the other corner with his new best friend, Archie the texugo. I liked the strange badger, though rogues always made me feel uneasy. He’d successfully stolen from me, which was no easy feat with my dexterity of 15. He had a pickpocket skill of 24. What was so strange about the NPC was that he had a really keen sense of engineering. I guessed that came with being a sapper, or combat engineer as they called it. But whatever AI was running that brain of his knew what it was doing. This game had a tendency to play fast and loose with the rules of physics, but as I listened to Jonah and Archie discuss how they were going to implement some aspect of a trap, Archie sounded a lot like a few structural engineers I’d known over the years. He’d mentioned forcing loads and allowable pressure and several other terms that flew right over Jonah’s head.

  They had two different ideas they were going to try for this next wave. One was actually a tower, not a trap. The game allowed Archie and Spritz to work together to make these hybrid obstacles. After they built those, Archie was going to go out and start building as many of the small traps as he could. Being a level 35 sapper, he could build smaller traps, like springer traps and vortex traps up to level four. The bigger ones, like slam traps, he could only upgrade to level two.

  We also had a meeting with Nale scheduled for the afternoon sometime. He’d finally finished identifying everything from the magic storage room. He said most of it was useless, but there were a few interesting odds and ends.

  Popper was still asleep. I was worried about him. The stress of this seemed to be getting the best of him. He never showed it, but I could tell he was a worrier. He worried about Jonah getting killed, about Raj getting hurt, and about a million other little things at once. And all the while, he was still grieving and processing the loss of his wife and daughter. I would never forget the look on his face that night, the moment Daniels had told him his family wouldn’t be on that ship. I’d known a lot of men like that over the years, men who seemed to simultaneously wear their hearts on their sleeves and still manage to hide how they were really feeling from the outside world. It wasn’t healthy, not physically or emotionally. Today wasn’t the first time I had caught him crying.

  I reached forward and scratched behind Bruce Bruce’s ear. It still hurt, what he’d said to me last night.

  After we’d finished the battle outside the Catacombs, we’d far surpassed the 100 kills marker required for him to bond with me. As we trotted back to the castle, the waist-high grass waving in the cool night air, I’d put my hand on his head, pulled up the menu, and clicked on Initiate Bond.

  A moment passed. And then.

  You have been rejected.

  I was flabbergasted. What the heck? I was both hurt and bewildered. I didn’t even think it was possible for him to reject me after I met the requirement. In the original version of the game, it would be unheard of.

  “I don’t understand,” I said.

  He didn’t answer for several moments. “Strong Gretchen,” he said finally. “I am a good fighter. A strong fighter. I enjoy our battles very much.”

  “Okay…” I said.

  “But these bigger battles, with booms and frightening creatures which do not smell of home. I… I am afraid. I do not want to be here anymore. I want to go home. I want to go back to the stables with Jessica and Tricia and Yorb and F’nash and all the others, even Whiplash Rager, though he brags too much. I… I do not like it here. I like you, and you are a brave, strong warrior. But I do not wish to bond. If I do this thing, I fear I will never go home. Before you came, it was the same every day. But this was not boring to me. This was home.”

  I didn’t know what to say.

  “Do not tell Alice,” he added. “She called me a female vagina earlier, and I do not wish for her to say this again. I fear she is correct.”

  I reached forward, stroking his head. “Oh, Brucie. We won’t bond. It’s okay. I will make sure you get home. I promise. And you are not a female vagina. Nor a male one.”

  “Okay, this is good,” he said.

  I watched him now, wondering how I would keep my promise. As a mount, he would return to the stables in Harmony if he died. That made me feel better, oddly enough. I sighed. He probably would get home.

  But, damnit. Ladies don’t swear, Lin. I’d really started to become attached. I didn’t want to admit it, but it was true. I was jealous of Popper’s relationship with Alice. They’d bonded immediately, well, almost immediately. But it was clear they were kindred spirits, that they were meant for each other. I’d thought I would have that with Bruce Bruce.

  It’s just a game. Bruce Bruce isn’t real. He’s the equivalent to a virtual pet. You don’t get upset when virtual pets reject you.

  But that wasn’t true, and I knew it. And that was why it hurt so much.

  * * *

  Later, I rode Bruce Bruce out to the Ladies’ Choice. The tower was on the far north side of the spiral, the only tower between Castle Three and Castle Four, and it was a good hike to get there. I brought the triplets with me and their ever-present bard, Ace. They’d all requisitioned horses from Oliver the beastmaster. Large swarms of the pong flies patrolled these areas, and we gave them a wide berth. Popper had tasked Bingo with collecting a bunch of the biting bugs for a cage trap and perhaps even the Menagerie, and the three NPCs he’d assigned to the job ended up eaten. He sent another, larger crew, and I could see the white with a blue cross dots of war party members on the edge of my map as they hesitantly approached a swarm.

  I’d brought the triplets because the map said it was an arrow-based tower, and I wanted to see what it could do when maxed out. It required three occupants. No minimum or maximum. It had to be three. Hopefully I would fit up there.

  Ace wouldn’t be allowed in the tower at all, at least not in the actual turret. When I looked at the menu to assign defenders to the tower, all the males were grayed out. I’d pointed out to Popper that he wasn’t crossed out, and he’d flipped me off. Jonah had laughed, long and hard.

  Ace played his lute as we rode. He sang a saccharine song by some band named Dokken about being alone again. Starr kept making him stop, and she was berating him on his pitch. Don is rolling in his grave, she said. Crystal then started complaining that Starr was ruining the song by stopping it every few stanzas. Then Kitty Chapman finally told them both to shut the fuck up and let the bard sing.

  Ace sang well. I spent some time examining the level 25 bard’s properties, and he could cast a handful of useful spells. Charm Group. Compel Truth. Switch Sides. All of those could come in handy.

  “Really?” I said as we pulled up to the pink tower. It stood about six floors high, making it a bit larger than average, but far from the biggest of towers. It had flowers painted on the lower half and butterflies painted on the top half of the tower. I tried to not let my eyes roll out of my head. The tower looked like one of those plastic, Rapunzel doll houses little girls wanted more than anything in the world for Christmas.

  “I think it’s cute,” Crystal said.

  “You would,” Kitty Chapman said. We dismounted and tied the horses up just outside the spiral path. I left Bruce Bruce untethered so he could watch the horses.

  The looming hulks of Castle Three and Castle Four spread out in the distance. Bingo was personally investigating Castle Four today along with a couple mages, Vern, Granger, and the other three surviving gorcupines. The castle was known as “The Prison,” but it didn’t hold anything special, at least it hadn’t in the old days. It was a mid-level dungeon filled with abandoned jail cells and some ogre berserkers. A few
half-ogre-themed guilds were also within, so hopefully they could capture a few full-blooded ogres for the Menagerie and arrow a few guildmasters. Afterward, they would proceed over to Castle Three, which was a straight-up dungeon. Tomorrow they would hit Castle Two, which was filled with decent, low-tier magical equipment. We’d use the loot from there to kit out the fighters in the barracks.

  “At least this tower doesn’t take an hour to get to the top,” Starr grumbled as we ascended the stairs. I still marveled at how easily I reached the top of the stairs. In the real world, I’d be winded by the time we hit the third floor.

  It turned out Ace could actually go into the tower with us, but he couldn’t enter the main room. He stood just outside, sitting on the top step, tuning his lute. The room was large, and I fit easily, but it wouldn’t let me touch anything after I’d assigned the other three.

  “Okay,” I said, examining the mechanisms. Unlike the 15-man archer towers which had multiple archer stations, this held a single, extra-large, fixed-position compound bow that was mounted in place. One could only pull and release it. A spotter position with an upgraded—and also pink—looking-glass stood to the right of the bow. The spotter had a lever that allowed her to control the Y-axis, pointing the bow up and down. She also controlled a large wheel, like the helm on the ship. When turned, it rotated the entire top half of the tower on the x-axis. The third position was the loader. The large arrows came up from the floor attached to metal, clockwork clamps. The loader had to remove the clamp and load it onto the bow.

  Other than being a pain to properly aim, I didn’t see what was so special about this particular tower, or why it was called what it was.

  Then, just to the left of the button one had to press to summon a new arrow, I saw something interesting. It was a dial selector. I grasped it, but my hand passed through the dial. I had Starr turn it, and a message popped up, the words floating magically in the air above the selector.

  Standard Arrow. 0 seconds.

  She turned it once to the left.

  Poison Arrow. 2 seconds.

  Then again.

  Corrosive Arrow. 2 seconds.

  She kept turning, arrow after arrow. There were two dozen different kinds, each with varying spawn times. Net arrows. Ice arrows. Fear arrows. Holy arrows. Void arrows—which came with a warning that they would only work on standard-size creeps. Homing arrows. Blinding arrows. Insanity. Explosive.

  Only one arrow could spawn at a time. The top three arrows indicated they were mastery-level only. I wanted to test the top one, toxic cloud, then thought better of it with Bruce Bruce and the horses down below. The same with the second highest, an earthquake arrow. And the third, psychic storm. All had one minute spawn times. I had Starr pick a smoke arrow, and she latched it onto the bow.

  The triplets worked quickly and efficiently.

  “See that pebble in the middle of the road right there?” Kitty Chapman said, looking at me.

  I peeked over the edge. I couldn’t see it, but I took her word for it. She pulled the trigger, and the arrow thrummed away, presumably hitting the pebble dead center. Soon the path was filled with a billowing, black smoke. It didn’t dissipate for several minutes.

  The triplets were much more effective in the Sentinel Tower than here, and we didn’t have the resources to get one—let alone three—mastery-level archers in here. So we wouldn’t be able to utilize this tower to the best of its ability.

  Without them, it was a good tower, but not a great one. It fired slow and required a lot of coordination to work properly. As we went back outside, I could still smell the smoke in the air.

  Gretchen: Spritz, can I ask you a question?

  Spritz: Of course. I am in the process of moving a freeze tower 200 meters to the east, per Jonah’s instructions.

  His Royal Majesty Jonah: Don’t steal my rock singer. She’s doing something important.

  I ignored Jonah.

  Gretchen: When you upgrade a tower, how much control do you have over how it is upgraded?

  Spritz: There are options at level three. I go over this with Jonah. Some have only two options. Some have several.

  Gretchen: Can the Sentinel Tower be upgraded?

  Spritz: Yes. I can currently upgrade it to level two, however the upgrade takes three hours. I am scheduled to upgrade it tomorrow. The upgrade to level three takes 10 hours, but I can’t do this until I reach level 25.

  I pulled up the menu and took a quick look. Spritz was already level 22. She would hit 25 by this time tomorrow if she kept it up.

  Gretchen: How many options are available for the level three Sentinel Tower? Can you tell?

  Spritz: Yes. There are many. I have discussed this with Jonah, as I said. He has already chosen the slam tower upgrade. It adds additional splash damage. I will not have time to upgrade to this level until after the next wave, assuming I reach the proper level.

  Gretchen: Is “ladies’ choice” one of the options?

  Spritz: Yes it is.

  Gretchen: We’re going to need that upgrade.

  Popper Note 20

  Raj: A new portal has opened. New things are coming out!

  We’d been waiting for this. Unless these chicken-riding albino fuckers were much more powerful than they looked, wave four was looking to be a cakewalk. And we all knew that wasn’t going to happen, so whatever was coming, it was probably something awful.

  So far only about 500 pairs of the first creatures had arrived. The bald dudes and their massive chicken mounts. Jonah and Archie had a trap planned specifically for them that would hopefully be just as effective as the mole trap.

  Still, we were all nervous. We knew nothing about these creatures. We discussed possibly sending a scout team out to put a few arrows in them to see how they’d react, but we were afraid that doing so might inadvertently trigger an early wave.

  We were sitting in the wide room just outside of the defense cockpit. Nale had a table set up, and he along with two younger mages were bringing items out, setting them one after another, like it was show and tell day at kindergarten. Nale practically bubbled over with excitement.

  Poppy: Well don’t keep us waiting, kid. What is it?

  Raj: Only a few things came out, but they are dragging a big stone thing! It’s four of the big red monsters like last time. And a pretty lady! The pretty lady is a human in a robe.

  My heart leaped. We weren’t supposed to face Akkorokamui until the last wave, not this one.

  Poppy: Does she have three red eyes? Is she tall like Gretchen?

  Raj: No. She is a small, pretty lady. She has two eyes. She carries an umbrella! It’s not even raining!

  I wasn’t relieved. I looked at Jonah and Gretchen. That didn’t sound good. Akkorokamui looked like a younger woman, until you realized she was hiding a goddamned kraken under her skirt. If this thing was her little sister or something, we were screwed.

  The notification came before I could ask my next question.

  Quest update. Missing Maps.

  A general of Akkorokamui has arrived. During the next wave, capture and interrogate the officer of the demon army to learn more about Sandra the Learnt’s location.

  “Capture her?” I said. “Great.”

  Raj: The big stone thing looks like a giant door!

  Oh fuck. I exchanged a look with Gretchen, who looked equally horrified.

  Gretchen: Raj, is there a big, red jewel above the door?

  Raj: Yes! It’s very glowy!

  “The Hell Gate,” Gretchen said. “They’re using it against us.”

  “Wait,” Jonah said. “Didn’t you say the Hell Gate spits out one modified version of a monster you’ve previously fought?”

  “That’s right,” I said.

  “If you have NPC mercenaries in your party, does it spit out things they’ve fought, too?”

  “I don’t know,” I said, looking to Gretchen. She was beginning to grin.

  “I don’t think it does,” she said. “In fact, I’m pretty
sure it doesn’t.”

  “So,” Jonah said. “They’re going to open up the Hell Gate on us, but only three monsters are going to come out? And it could be three rats?”

  I grunted. “We don’t know that for sure. It could be three demons of Icardi. Or they could just be fucking with us, and 50,000 hellhounds are going to come pouring out of that thing.”

  “That’s a cheerful thought,” Jonah said. “But think about it. The game was expecting this to be a world event, right? We’re doing all this extra legwork to get NPCs in here, but in reality, it should be a bunch of players manning these towers. The Hell Gate is a great idea for a wave.”

  Nale cleared his throat, and we turned our attention to the arcanist, who seemed exasperated we weren’t paying attention to him.

  “So, you tasked me with identifying and cataloging the contents of the old war-kee magical armory. I’m sorry to say the majority of the items have degraded to uselessness. However, there are a few noteworthy items. Also, many of the potions are still okay. I had those brought up earlier.”

  Indeed, our small pile of healing and mystic point regeneration potions had grown. Bingo had also added to the pile today with his dungeon crawling. There weren’t too many new interesting potions expect a few more barkskin ones, which I liked to use. Neither Jonah nor Gretchen could stand them.

  “As you probably know,” Nale continued, “mystical items have a tendency to get corrupted and turn cursed if left alone for too long. As a result, most of the weapons were no good. There were some good ones. We have an armory of enchanted weapons now that imbue some minor enchantments. Per Regent Poppy’s instructions, these have been given to Colonel Holder, who is dispensing them amongst his troops. Some with the more interesting enchantments are here.”

  We sifted through the piles of weapons. Most were smaller, one-handed swords. The thin rapiers were the most common. These were weapons of the wark-ee, who were smaller, but bigger than me. Multiple spear heads also dotted the table. Gretchen picked one up, her eyes going wide.