The Hobgoblin Riot: Dominion of Blades Book 2: A LitRPG Adventure

by Matt Dinniman

  Except here in this game, when the odds were so stacked against me I couldn’t even think about anything except that exact moment. Not one second behind, not one second ahead. Just the pure, unadulterated now. Jab, sweep, jump, jab. No responsibilities. No regrets. Just now.

  As weird as it sounds, I wish I can go back to that moment in the spiral, fighting the oni. Even now as I write this, I remember that moment best.

  All around me, white jackets fell. We fought well, but we were overwhelmed. We’d killed them by the hundreds, but we’d soon have to fall back. They had the sheer numbers. It didn’t matter how effective we were. There were just so many. It was like trying to fight the tide with nothing more than a bucket.

  Jonah had set his hobgoblins to the dirty task of cleaning up the alive but paralyzed kappas strewn throughout the spiral. He’d also set them ahead of Akkorokamui, decapitating all the fallen warriors they could, including the good guys. The demon had the ability to raise the dead, and we needed to make sure she couldn’t use it. After, Jonah told them to regroup at the Butcher’s Delight. We’d have to meet them there.

  “Retreat!” I shouted, falling back.

  As we ran, cutting through the city, I looked back, my eyes catching the tall, black sniper tower. It continued to fire shot after shot at the creeps.

  Gretchen: Granger. Get out of that tower. Do not shoot at the boss. You’re getting dangerously close to…

  The sniper tower exploded as it was hit with a spell. Rocks flew everywhere.

  NPC Granger (Level 36, Hunter, Human) has died.

  “No,” I cried. He was the last of Popper’s original group. Granger, Bingo, Winston, Flaky, Tiatha, and Raj. All dead. In the distance, the fires of a dozen towers burned. It seemed Akkorokamui was no longer waiting until after a tower shot at her. She was simply going through and destroying everything in her path. We’d killed thousands of her troops, but she’d already devastated our defenses.

  I cringed as another tower was destroyed. We should have built more Muzzle towers and upgraded them. It was the only thing that worked against her. We didn’t even know if these Desiccate arrows were really doing anything other than slowing her down.

  His Royal Majesty Jonah: Meet us at the Butcher’s Delight. We’re going to try to keep them in the Catacombs as long as possible.

  Gretchen: Got it.

  His Royal Majesty Jonah: You doing okay?

  Gretchen: Oh, you know. Another day in paradise.

  Popper Note 28

  We stood in front of the Butcher’s Delight, facing the exit to the Catacombs. It was just like with the emo-tong invasion, but now we had the archway and the odd tower supporting us. As pissed as I still was at Jonah for coming, I was glad to have him by my side. He went back to the castle and waited out his curse, but he was back. He’d brought me my last dress. Hopefully this one wouldn’t get ruined. Gretchen had just pulled up also. The three of us were together once again.

  Alice had been out of sorts since the death of Raj. I patted her on the head. “It’s okay, it’s okay.”

  The front line of creeps had entered the Catacombs almost an hour earlier. They’d be on us at any moment.

  War Party> Invaders are emerging from the Catacombs.

  War Party Admin> Calculating casualties… 24,467 casualties so far. Obstacle is still active and additional casualties may occur. 32,199 invaders remain.

  We’d taken out more than half of the Orochi invaders. It was a lot. But it wasn’t enough.

  The oni emerged. Some of these were the bigger, boss-sized ones with whips.

  The Butcher’s Delight fired, hitting one of the oni square in the face.

  The beast fell to its knees, screaming. It dropped its whip and it…transformed. The demon face of the oni turned to that of a boar. It remained on all fours as the others grunted with surprise and backed away. The boar oni started squealing. It turned on one of its compatriots and charged. The oni cried out as the boar-thing started gnawing on its leg. The normal oni had no choice but to start beating the crap out of his friend.

  The Butcher’s Delight fired again and again, about once every ten seconds. It seemed each hit only had about a 25% chance of turning the oni into one of the pig things. But it was enough. Soon the air was filled with the sound of squealing pig demons fighting their own kind.

  “Well that’s just fucking weird,” Jonah said, lowering Triple Fang. We hadn’t even had to charge yet. Behind us, the archers pumped arrows into the oni. Like last time with the emo-tong, a pile of bodies started to grow, blocking the exit.

  “As weird as that other tower you guys made?” Gretchen asked, pointing over her shoulder. The Putrid Tower, as Jonah, Archie, and Granger had called it, loomed further down, past the Gardens but before the Menagerie. We still didn’t know if it’d work as none of the creeps had gotten that far yet. We hadn’t tried it on Kiyohime, the dragon boss from the last wave.

  “That tower is pure genius,” Jonah said. “In fact, I think maybe we should fall back to it.” In the distance, Akkorokamui had crossed the river and was approaching the entrance to the Catacombs. The closer she got, the more dangerous it was to be here on the ground. She could take us all out with a single shot, and we’d soon be in range.

  “I think you’re right,” I said, turning and nodding to Colonel Holder, who stood back amongst the hobgoblins. The normally-stoic white jacket commander looked uncomfortable amidst his former enemies.

  We left a contingent of archers with instructions to meld into the alleys the moment Akkorokamui rounded the distant corner and reached the entrance, and we rushed back toward the Putrid Tower.

  “Archie’s boulder trap is coming up next,” Gretchen said. Jonah and Gretchen jogged alongside me and Alice. When Gretchen had that spear in her hand, her movements were oddly quick, like I was watching a video of her in fast forward. “They gotta get through that next. If it works half as well as the Ghost Ship trap, it’ll put us in a decent position.”

  “Ghost ship?” Jonah asked, laughing. “You didn’t tell me about that one. Was it a wire that cut everyone in half?”

  “Yeah, it was!” I said. “Gretchen and I couldn’t figure out why Archie named it that.”

  “Wait,” Jonah said, looking back and forth between us. He stopped dead in the street. I had to pull Alice to a stop. He’d grown pale. “Archie named it that? Not you?”

  “Yeah, why?” I asked. “What’s going on?”

  “It’s just odd,” Jonah said after a moment. He sounded contemplative, even a little sad. But not afraid. “You guys continue on. I’m going back to the castle real quick. I’ll meet you at the tower.”

  “The hell you are,” I said. “Tell us what’s going on.”

  “Trust me on this guys,” Jonah said. “It’s best if I do this alone.”

  “Do what alone?” I asked. “Jonah!”

  But he’d already moved off toward Fort Bloodgasm.

  “Should we follow him?” I asked Gretchen.

  “I don’t know,” she said. “I’m not sure what’s going on with him.”

  “Leave him alone,” Alice said, speaking for the first time in awhile. “He’s sad about something. When someone is sad, sometimes it’s best to leave them alone.”

  Jonah Note 29

  My heart thrashed as I returned to the castle. We’d just received notice that Archie’s boulder trap had activated, rolling down the long street that flanked the Cassagnac. The thing had killed almost all of the remaining monsters, leaving just a handful left. The holy water towers had also been overly-effective, burning the demons away by the hundreds.

  Of course the trap had worked. Were you just screwing with us this whole time?

  I entered the defense cockpit. Spritz stood there, leaning over the map. Nale had escaped his tower unscathed and was back in the cockpit, discussing strategy with Spritz. Archie sat in the corner by himself, head down.

  “You’re back,” Nale said, looking at me nervously. “So, about that whole p
ortal thing. I’m…”

  “Out,” I said to him and Spritz. I pointed at the door. The two NPCs looked at each other then fled the room, leaving me alone with Archie.

  I stood there for several moments, staring down at the texugo, who didn’t move.

  “When did you figure it out?” Archie finally asked.

  “Ghost Ship?” I said. “Really?”

  The texugo shrugged. “You’d already left when I named it that. I was pissed they’d kicked you. I figured you were all dead anyways, so I might as well have some fun. It’s my favorite movie. You know that.”

  On the minimap, Archie’s dot remained white with the blue cross, indicating him as an arrowed NPC. An NPC.

  “So,” Archie said. “I imagine you have a few questions.”

  I sat down on the floor next to the hunched-over figure. If the texugo wanted me dead, I’d have been killed long ago. Giant clumps of fur had started to fall off his body. He smelled dreadful, too, like rotting meat.

  “Ghost Ship. That movie is terrible,” I said. “People love that opening sequence, but the rest… It doesn’t live up to that one scene.” I sighed. We’d had this discussion before. “And yes, Isabella. I have a question or two.”

  Popper Note 29

  Just under 2,000 monsters remained. They were all kappa and the weird, pitch-black personal guards of Akkorokamui. And of course the demon herself. If the Putrid Tower didn’t work, our last line of defense would be the Menagerie.

  It doesn’t matter. The creeps aren’t the real threat.

  The octopus was currently out of range of the Sentinel Tower. The demon had apparently sent multiple waves of the kappas back into that tower, and each wave was beaten back by Ace the bard. It seemed he’d managed to charm the demons into switching sides. I never thought the poor auric had it in him.

  Above, the Putrid Tower loomed. I objected to calling it that. Nothing was as putrid as my ordeal with the troll breasts and the pus. The fairies whipping by were a constant reminder. Millicent, the lone banded sylph and mother of the others was currently sitting on Alice’s head, chatting away with her, discussing the most effective ways of gutting a kappa.

  “The enemy approaches,” Holder called.

  “Hold until the tower does its thing,” I called. The tower only had limited ammo. I think Jonah had said they’d only had about 150 of the things up there.

  Thwump. The tower fired into the midst of the kappa monsters. Thwump, Thwump.

  Each blast was accompanied by an angry shriek.

  The chamber imps weren’t very aerodynamic, and they flailed about as they were launched through the air. The untouchable little monsters crashed into the midst of the kappa beasts, rolling through them like a bowling ball. Each imp touched at least twenty of them before exploding in a mist of caustic blood. The acid blood didn’t hurt the kappas, who were also demons.

  The Bad Hygiene curse, however, took immediate hold. One after one, the red skull of a curse notification started appearing over the creeps. Soon the majority of the beasts had been cursed.

  It was time for us to get to work.

  Not only did the Bad Hygiene curse make you smell really awful, it degraded your dexterity and ability to fight. The kappas swayed about as if drunk, many of them self-paralyzing as they stumbled and emptied their own water bowls.

  “You know,” I said. “If we ever become allies with these Orochi assholes, I’m going to invent some sort of Tupperware lid for their heads. Or maybe just some plastic wrap, like they do to the top of the orange juice when you get room service at a nice hotel. Once you know about their weakness, they’re not that tough at all.”

  Gretchen laughed. Alice asked what Tupperware was.

  Gretchen: Jonah, are you okay? You said you’d be back by now.

  His Royal Majesty Jonah: Oh, I’m just dandy. Fucking dandy.

  “Let’s get through this,” I said. “Then we can figure out what the hell is…”

  NPC Archibald (Level 35, Sapper, Texugo) has left the party.

  “…going on,” I finished.

  We didn’t have any more time to think. Holder called for the charge, and we rushed into the mass of kappas.

  “Popper,” Alice called, suddenly excited. “Popper! Popper! We did it! Level 30! I can cast Portal now!”

  “That’s great,” I called, slamming Battlefield Surgeon into the neck of a kappa. The caustic blood of these creatures was muted, like with all earth-bound demons, but still, my legs started to burn. I worried for the condition of my dress. This was my last damn one.

  Soon, they were dead. All of them. All that remained were the eight tall, dark kurobozu creatures. They stood back, unmoving on the trail. Holder held up his hand, stopping the onslaught. All around, sergeants started hollering for their fighters to form up.

  For the first time today, the enemy was outnumbered. We had just about a thousand troops, facing off against eight.

  “Shall we run them down?” Colonel Holder asked.

  “Yeah,” Alice said.

  “How are these fuckers still alive?” I asked. We’d mostly ignored them until now.

  “I don’t know,” Gretchen said. “But they make me nervous. We don’t know what they can do.”

  We had a nearby sniper tower take aim at one of them. The arrow blasted through, exploding against the street behind them. It appeared they were invulnerable to physical attacks.

  “No wonder,” I said. “They’re ghosts.”

  “You,” Holder called, pointing at a pair of spider-mounted hobgoblins. Both of the hobgoblins had glowing weapons, indicating they’d be able to damage ghost-class beasts. “Go!”

  The hobgoblins charged, rushing at the unarmed beasts. They fell upon them, and in a matter of seconds, all eight of the ghosts were dead. The unmoving monsters fell easily to the magical swords.

  “Well that was anticlimactic,” I said.

  The mounted hobgoblins trotted back, raising their swords in victory to the cheers of white jackets and hobgoblins alike.

  The spiders and their riders both exploded the moment they reached the mass of troops in a cataclysm of green mist. I blew off Alice’s back. I smashed my Feather Fall and landed deftly on my feet in the midst of the carnage. My vision flashed red.

  You’ve been poisoned!

  Damage taken! Damage taken!

  You’ve been cured of poison!

  Hundreds of the fairies had been taken out in the blast, but many remained. They zipped about, curing and healing. They wouldn’t move fast enough. All around me, hobgoblins and white jackets gasped and died.

  Alice shook her head, coughing. Gretchen had fallen against the hippocorn, but she seemed okay, having also been cured.

  Colonel Holder was dead. Most of the hobgoblins that had been here were dead. The explosion had killed hundreds of us. I wasn’t even sure what had happened. The ghosts must have imparted some sort of curse on the two hobgoblins, causing them to explode in a mist of poisonous gas. Christ.

  Millicent zipped by, swearing profusely.

  Of the thousands of hobgoblins who had come to Castellane with Jonah, only a few hundred remained. Of the thousands of arrowed citizens, only a few hundred remained. Of the thousands of fairies, only a few hundred remained. Just like that.

  Most of the towers were now down. Most of the defenders were dead. Akkorokamui had apparently just blown up the Catacombs instead of bothering to go inside. She was currently smashing her way through the Gardens. She’d been back in range of the Sentinel Tower for a bit now, but it didn’t appear as if the Desiccate arrows did anything other than piss her off and slow her down.

  I looked at Gretchen. It was time. She’d made me promise not to kick her out, but if I didn’t, then she’d die with me. So I didn’t care. She could kick my ass when they pulled my insane self out of stasis.

  “You know,” Gretchen said. She looked at me sadly. “Jonah says he received the rewards for wave four even though he’d been kicked out.”

  �
��Yeah, so?” I asked.

  “I’m pretty sure that means once we’re in, we’re in. You can kick us out, and it won’t matter. Once the demon hits the castle, the wave will be lost, and we’ll die, discharged or not.”

  I closed the menu, looking at her. She been reading my mind.

  “We’re not going to make it,” I said. In the distance, the demon roared as another tower exploded.

  “I know,” Gretchen said.

  We were going to die, and without a regen spot, we were going to be kicked to the closest Amity temple. It seemed there was only one Amity temple in the whole game, in the Order of the Golden Sister Sanatorium in Harmony. And since that hospital was hosted on a different, non-existent server, we would wake up in a loading screen, one that would never, ever go away. Not for thousands of years.

  Even if Harmony was sucked into a volcano, the sanatorium would remain. Like with the business centers, the “game services” buildings were immune to destruction.

  Jonah would be the same. He had a regen spot, maybe, but he was also level 37. With his curse, he’d have to survive 37 hours of torture before they’d let him go. He wasn’t going to make that. Nobody would. I had no idea how he’d survived twenty-something hours the first time. The poor guy had been in a coma for a week after.

  “So…” Gretchen was saying. She twirled her spear. “If we’re going to die, we might as well do it in as glorious of a fashion as possible.”

  Jonah Note 30

  “So, question one,” I said. I picked up a clump of foul-smelling fur off the ground. “I thought all of us are supposed to be humans. And how the hell are you listed as an NPC?”

  The Isabella/Archie thing grinned. “I was thinking you’d never ask,” the texugo said. Isabella raised her arms to the air, and the skin sloughed off, falling to the ground in wet clumps.

  NPC Archibald (Level 35, Sapper, Texugo) has left the party.

  I stared as the texugo was replaced by a thirty-year-old, female, human figure in all black. She wore slick, skin-tight clothes that rippled in the light. Her character appeared to have Turkish or Arabic features. Her black hair was pulled in a tight bun on the back of her head, similar to the way Isabella wore it in the real world. In fact, the character had an eerie similarity to the real version, right down to the eyes.