Now and Then

by Brenda Rothert

  “That’s good, it’ll be nice to see more of you.”

  “I’m sorry I’ve been so wrapped up in it,” he said, looking serious. “Being a new attorney at a firm like mine is tough. I have to put in a lot of hours to pay my dues.”

  “Cole, it’s fine. I get wrapped up in my art sometimes. When I said it’ll be nice to see more of you, that’s all I meant. It wasn’t a dig.”

  “I know, but I want you to know I want to be with you, even when I can’t,” he said, reaching an arm around her waist to slide her up against him in the intimate round booth.

  A waiter appeared and tried to look invisible as he filled two glasses on the table with red wine.

  “You can make it up to me,” Emma said softly. Cole laughed lightly as he lowered his face into her neck, kissing it gently.

  “You know I will, baby,” he said. “As soon as we finish--”

  Emma was distracted by movement next to their table. Her mouth went dry as she glanced away from Cole and saw her mother standing at the edge of the table, the hurt in her brown eyes and her drawn expression stabbing Emma in the gut.

  “Emma,” she said in a level greeting.

  “Mom! Oh, Mom.”

  Cole had pulled away and now looked like a school boy who’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He was blushing and glancing down nervously. If the situation wasn’t so serious, Emma would have laughed at him.

  “Hello, Cole,” Emma’s Mom said, piercing him with a sharp look.

  “Hi, Mrs. Carson,” he said uncomfortably.

  “Mom, I can explain,” Emma said. “We’re seeing each other.”

  “Well, I should hope so, the way you’re carrying on in a restaurant. Why haven’t you said anything?”

  “Because of Layla. She’ll kill me if she finds out, Mom, you know she will. She has this image in her mind of her and Cole ending up together. You kind of have it, too, and I didn’t want to disappoint you.”

  “Disappoint me?” The hurt on her mother’s face turned to outright sadness, and Emma buried her face in her hands.

  “Mom, let’s just--”

  “No, tell me what you meant. Emma, Cole is a fine young man and you know I think a lot of him. Why would I be disappointed you’re with him?”

  “Because you think Layla should get him. You always want Layla to have the best,” Emma blurted, unable to meet her mother’s eyes.

  “I want the best for both of you,” her Mom said softly.

  “I know, but there’s only one Cole, and if we both wanted him, I think you’d want her to have him.” Emma looked up at her mother, wishing she looked angry. She was just sad, which made it so much worse. It wasn’t seeing Emma and Cole together that made her sad, Emma knew – it was that Emma had hidden it.

  The silence was thick, and Cole’s uncomfortable sigh was the only thing breaking it.

  “You think I love Layla more than you?” her Mom asked, looking wounded.

  “No. No, I don’t think that, Mom. I just think that you picture Layla getting someone like Cole, who has everything going for him, and you picture me with someone … different. Like I’m different. I always have been.”

  “I’m sorry you feel that way. Honestly, Emma, I’m thrilled for you and Cole. I just wish I could have found out another way, rather than on my way to dinner with the women in my book club.”

  “But you know what I’m saying about Layla, don’t you? I mean, about her going crazy if she finds out?” Emma asked pleadingly. Her Mom gave a small nod.

  “I know she’ll be disappointed, but I also know she loves you. I think you’re underestimating her, Emma.”

  “I don’t know. I just … I’m not ready to tell her,” Emma said. “So please keep this to yourself.”

  Her Mom gave Cole a questioning glance.

  “This is what you want, too?” she asked sharply.

  “No,” he said firmly. “I think we should tell everyone and Layla can just get over it. I hate keeping it a secret. But I’m trying to respect what Emma wants. She knows her sister better than I do.”

  Her Mom sighed and gave them a sad smile that wrenched Emma’s heart.

  “Okay. I’d better get back to my dinner. It was good to see you both.”

  “I’ll call you soon, Mom,” Emma said as her mother left. The romantic mood at the table had vanished, but Cole still took her hand and squeezed it gently.

  “It’ll be okay,” he said. “Moms like to be the first to know everything, but they always recover when they’re not.”

  Emma shook her head miserably.

  “I feel terrible,” she said. “This should have been happy news, but I ruined it. Plus I skipped lunch and I’m getting a headache.”

  “I ordered some bread and dinner salads, they’ll be here soon,” Cole said, rubbing her back soothingly. Emma smiled weakly, wondering why she hadn’t realized she was missing anything before Cole came back into her life.

  *****

  Vincent stalked up the quilt toward Cole, swishing his tail. Emma smiled, wondering if her cat was being territorial. He seemed to decide ignoring Cole was the best approach, and he snuggled into a ball near Emma’s chest.

  “Hi, baby,” she said softly. “Have I been neglecting you? Do you need some attention?”

  She stroked Vincent’s back and he purred, squeezing his eyes closed with contentment.

  “Shit, I was hoping you were talking to me,” Cole mumbled as he looked up.

  “I can give you some attention,” Emma said, grinning. “It’s Saturday morning, so for once we don’t have to jump out of bed and get ready for work.”

  Just Cole’s sleepy smile and mussed hair were enough to get Emma going, but when he sat up slightly and the covers fell down, revealing his hard chest and the large muscles of his arms, she picked Vincent up and moved him to the floor.

  Cole moved on top of her, and the gentle pressure of his warm, firm body felt so good that Emma craned her neck up to kiss him.

  “You’re eager this morning,” he said teasingly, pushing his tongue into her mouth with a passion that made Emma clutch his back tightly. His mouth moved down her jaw line to her neck, and she wrapped her legs around him, needing to lock her body against his.

  The ring of her phone on the nightstand made Emma groan loudly.

  “They’ll call later,” Cole said as his hand closed around one of her breasts.

  “Sorry, it’s Layla,” she said, sighing. “I hate to not answer, after my Mom’s scare …”

  “Sure, go ahead,” he said, moving off of her.

  “Is everything okay?” Emma said as she put the phone to her ear.

  “Why wouldn’t it be?” Layla answered, sounding confused.

  “Why would you call me at … 8:20 on a Saturday morning unless something was wrong?”

  “We’re going shopping today, remember?”

  “Oh.” Emma groaned. “Really?”

  “I texted you about it the other day and you said yes.”

  Shit, I did. I was busy at work and I completely forgot.

  Cole’s hand was sliding up her thigh and Emma jumped when he pushed up the t-shirt she’d slept in and his warm lips grazed her stomach.

  “Don’t try to flake out now, I have a ton of shopping to do,” Layla said. “I’m on my way to pick you up.”

  “You are?” Emma shot into a sitting position. “When will you be here?”

  “Maybe 15 minutes? Traffic seems okay.”

  “I’ll be waiting out front,” Emma said, hanging up the phone as she jumped out of bed.

  “I think this would be a great way for Layla to find out about us,” Cole said with a lazy grin. “When’s she gonna be here?”

  “15 minutes! It’s not a good time for jokes,” Emma said, digging through a pile of dirty laundry in search of her jeans.

  “That gives us at least ten minutes to fool around. Come back to bed.”

  “You have no idea what my sister is like when she’s pissed. If she finds us
together like this, she’ll go crazy.” Emma slid into her jeans and the first clean t-shirt she saw.

  “Yeah, I remember her crazy temper from high school,” Cole said. “But we’re adults now, Em. I don’t like sneaking around.”

  “It’s just for now,” Emma said, running a brush through her hair.

  “Well, some of my friends from high school are getting together for dinner next weekend and I want us to go,” he said.

  “There’s no way. That would get back to Layla.”

  “This is getting crazy,” he said angrily. “I want you there with me next weekend. I thought this was what women wanted. It’s fucking frustrating to be proud of you and feel like you’re ashamed of me.”

  When she saw his brooding, tense expression, Emma’s heart melted.

  “Cole, nothing is further from the truth. I am not at all ashamed of you. You’re literally my dream guy. I know I’m being stupid about Layla. I know. It’s just … I’ve always been a little bit afraid of her. I always wanted to be friends with her, hang out with her when we were younger, and she never thought I was good enough. Now that we have that, I’m just scared of losing it.”

  “Don’t get upset about it, Em,” Cole said, sighing. “Not right before you have to leave.”

  “What are you doing today?” she asked, hoping a new subject would ease the tension.

  “I didn’t have anything planned, but I guess I’ll go to the gym and play basketball with some friends if their game’s still on.”

  “Will I see you later?”

  “Yeah, just let me know when you get home,” Cole said. Emma’s mouth fell open a crack as he climbed out of her bed wearing only boxers. He was all long limbs and muscle, and she wanted to get back in bed with him and feel all the beautiful cuts and lines of his body.

  “Um, why don’t you just stay here today?” she called as she ran into the bathroom to brush her teeth. “There’s a key in the top drawer of my desk you can take.”

  “Okay,” he said. Emma glanced around the bathroom door frame and saw his smile, feeling like a lovesick fool for being so happy that he was happy.

  “I’ve got to go,” she said, crossing the distance between them to pull him close for a hug. “God, you feel good.”

  “Tonight we’ll make up for what we missed this morning,” he said, kissing her lightly.

  Emma walked toward the door, wondering what her teenage self would say about her leaving a gorgeous, nearly naked, completely ready Cole Marlowe in her apartment while she went out shopping.

  She’d say I’m crazy. Maybe I am. I have to stop looking at him or I’ll never make it out the door.

  Chapter 15

  Then – 10 years ago

  The beat of the hip-hop music blasting from the speakers in the basement family room of Jimmy Perino’s house was so loud Cole could feel it, and it was getting on his nerves. He hated hip-hop music.

  Actually, he hated parties like this, where everyone competed to see who could be the most obnoxious jackass. But as a member of the football team, attendance at big parties was pretty much mandatory. He knew he could take Allie Portman to one of the bedrooms whenever he was ready, and that would be a good time. She was a cute, blonde gymnast with a tight body she didn’t mind bending.

  He made his way up the stairs, needing to escape the noise, pushing himself against the wall as a member of the wrestling team lost his balance at the top of the stairway and tumbled down, spilling beer all over himself and the carpet. Jimmy might have a hard time keeping that from his parents.

  Scanning the kitchen, Cole saw no sign of Allie, so he made his way out to the back yard to find her and escape the throbbing music. But one annoying sound was replaced by another as he heard girls screeching at each other.

  “I will rip your fucking hair out if you go near him again, you trashy bitch!”

  “I was more than near him, I was fucking his brains out! And he loved every second!” That was Kelsey Grainger’s voice, Cole was sure.

  The blow of a slap stopped the discussion, and Cole walked closer out of curiosity. Layla Carson was pulling Kelsey’s long red hair, pinning her to the ground as she jerked it skyward.

  “Stay the fuck away from Colby or I will rip your nasty orange hair out!” Layla screamed.

  “Ouch! That fucking hurts, Layla!”

  “It’s supposed to! Trashy skanks do not steal cheerleaders’ boyfriends!”

  “He’s not your boyfriend! Ouch, stop!”

  Colby Weber approached from behind, an amused smirk on his face. Cole’s anger rose immediately. He hated that asshole. Colby used his pretty face to get anything he wanted. His parents were well-off, and he thought everyone should bow down to him.

  “Ladies,” Colby said, stretching an arm around each of the girls. “No need to fight over me. There’s enough for both of you. We can go find someplace private and I’ll show you.”

  If Layla agreed to that, Cole decided he’d step in and stop her. It was a recipe for disaster. But the look of fury on her face told him he wouldn’t have to.

  “Fuck you, Colby!” she yelled. “We’re done! I don’t need this crap.”

  She stomped away and Cole followed her around to the side of the house, where she leaned against the brick garage wall, letting out a deep breath.

  “Hey, you alright?” he asked. She looked at him, seeming surprised she wasn’t alone.

  “Oh,” she said with a small smile. “I’m fine. I should’ve done that a long time ago.”

  “Yeah, you’re too good for him,” Cole agreed, leaning against the wall next to her.

  “You think so?” Layla asked, laughing. “I kind of made a fool of myself back there.”

  “Most everyone’s drunk, they’ll forget by tomorrow,” Cole said.

  Layla looked hesitant before she spoke again.

  “Do you think … guys don’t take me seriously because I’m a cheerleader?” she asked.

  “No. Plenty of guys would like to be with you, Layla.”

  “Really?” The hopeful look on her face made Cole uncomfortable. She knew plenty of guys wanted to be with her. He wondered if he’d given her the impression he did. Layla was gorgeous, but she was too moody and intense for him. His senior prom was in a couple months, and he’d thought of asking her, but now he was planning to ask Jess Zimmerman. He’d taken Layla out on a casual date last year and seen quickly that she was high maintenance. But damn, was she pretty.

  “Hey, I’ve gotta go find someone,” he said, stepping away from the garage toward the back yard. “See you around.”

  Cole sighed deeply as he walked away and scanned the yard. Allie was leaning against the fence, and she smiled widely when their eyes met. It was time for a distraction from the loud music, drunken idiots and cat fighting girls at this party.

  Now

  Hauling around several sacks full of clothes and shoes didn’t slow Layla down at all, but Emma was dragging. They’d been to a mall, several other stores and a small downtown flea market. Though Layla had turned her nose up when Emma wanted to go to the flea market, she’d ended up buying a pearl brooch.

  “Should I have bought those black boots in brown, too?” Layla asked, stopping in the middle of an open-air shopping center.

  “Do you need brown boots?” Emma asked.

  “I kind of do, yeah. And I still need to buy Prince a sweater.”

  Emma rolled her eyes at the vision of Layla’s tri-colored hound dog in a sweater. They always had trouble finding just what Layla wanted for him, but he was her pride and joy, and she loved dressing him in sweaters.

  “So how’s it going with Chad?” Emma asked as they walked back to the shoe store.

  “Oh, it’s not,” Layla said, wrinkling her nose. “I’m just over it, I guess. The sex was good and all, but I couldn’t even carry on a conversation with him. He pretty much just uses single syllable words.”

  “I thought you didn’t want to carry on a conversation with him,” Emma said, grinning.
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  “I don’t know what I want, I just know it’s not him. What about you and Brian, is that still on?”

  “I’m not dating a married guy,” Emma said.

  “Good for you! You can do better than that pig.” Layla stopped at a store window to admire a pale gray wool coat. “Hey, will you make those cranberry cakes with the vanilla glaze for my office again this year? We have to bring in Christmas treats.”

  “Are you going to tell everyone you made them again?” Emma asked, rolling her eyes.

  “Of course,” Layla said.

  “I’ll make them,” Emma said begrudgingly.

  “You’re the bestest sister ever!” Layla said, pulling her close for a hug. She wrinkled her brows suddenly, sniffing. “Wait – do I smell man on you?”

  Emma’s heart pounded as she realized she must smell like Cole from sleeping with his body wound around hers.

  “That’s wishful thinking,” she said, laughing. “Or maybe I shouldn’t buy such cheap perfume.”

  “Ugh,” Layla groaned, disgusted. Emma breathed a sigh of relief as her sister headed in the direction of the shoe store. How had she gotten herself into this mess? If she’d just told Layla about Cole from the beginning … but she hadn’t. And now there was no way out.

  *****

  Cole cursed as the basketball rolled around the rim before tipping away from the net. His partner in the two on two game, Riley Moss, jumped up and shot it in.

  His gray t-shirt was soaked through with sweat, and as they took a break from the game, Cole pressed his hands behind his head in a stretch, breathing hard.

  “You’re a lot slower than you were in high school,” Riley cracked to one of the other players, Dylan Overstreet.

  “Fuck you,” Dylan said, panting and wiping his face with a towel.

  “I’m just saying, man, might want to lay off the cheeseburgers.”

  Cole smiled. Dylan had gained weight since high school. And Jake Kircher, the fourth player, had lost a lot of hair. He was still in good shape, though.

  “You haven’t played with us since right after you moved back,” Riley said to Cole. “What the hell you been up to, man?”