Blackbird Flies

by Chynna T. Laird

  He swished his water around in his glass, pondering her words.

  Maybe…

  “Anyway,” she said, pulling him out of his thoughts. “I gotta go soon. My ride is coming back to get me.”

  “Still haven’t told me who this ride is.”

  “Don’t worry about it.”

  “What if I do anyway?”

  She tilted her head. “You don’t need to. I’m fine.”

  “You always say that.”

  “I am.”

  Silence.

  Right then, Katie came in to collect more dishes.

  “Um, thanks so much for having me here today. The meal was wonderful and your kids are awesome. You can tell that you are an amazing mom who does everything for her kids. I truly respect that.”

  Katie was oddly silent. She looked at Payton with tears in her eyes, then walked over to Lily and hugged her again.

  “Thank you. You are welcome here any time, my girl. You are a gem, and I am so glad you and Payton found each other.”

  Lily seemed stunned at first again, keeping her arms at her side. Then, slowly, she wrapped her arms around Katie.

  “I’ll keep that in mind. Payton is a very lucky guy.”

  After the hug, the two teens went outside to wait for her ride. He wanted to grill her about who this ‘ride’ was, but decided against it.

  Why ruin a great night?

  “So, when will your ride be here,” he asked.

  “He just texted that he’s on his way,” she responded, looking at the sky. “Um. I have something for you too, but I didn’t want to give it to you in front of your parents.”

  “You didn’t need to get me anything. I’m just happy you came.”

  “I know. I had to…”

  She handed him a large envelope. He paused, wondering if he should even open it. Then he slid his thumb under the seal and ripped it open. He almost gasped.

  It was copy of the original score of Blackbird, with notes from John and Paul.

  “Where…where did you get this?”

  “Does it matter?”

  “I want to know. I don’t even know if I can accept this.”

  “Pay, my dad knows people. I won’t go into detail, but he does. You love the Beatles, and this is your fave song. Just think of me when you listen to it from now on. It’s a way for you to remember me.”

  He fought tears, especially in front of such a cool girl. “I will always remember you. Why would you even say that?”

  She lowered her eyes, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. “I dunno. Just sayin’…”

  He hugged her, and she wrapped her arms around his torso. After a few seconds, they broke apart, staring into each other’s eyes, and as the car came around the bend to get her, she kissed him. It seemed more passionate than earlier. More fierce.

  Then she said, “I think you are the most amazing doofus I’ve ever met. Thank you for tonight.”

  “Well, like my stepmom said, you are welcome anytime, Miss Lily.”

  She smiled, put her palm on his cheek, then said, “I know. Thank you.”

  Then she ran off to the car, and they sped off into the night.

  What’s going on with you, girl, he thought. Just let me in.

  He stood, staring off after Lily, then went back into the house. After he helped Katie clean up, and read the kids their bedtime story, he disappeared into his room and listened to his Beethoven selection for the concert. Lily’s face kept creeping into his thoughts, and he did something he hadn’t done in years.

  He prayed.

  Please, God. If you’re up there somewhere…watching…make sure she isn’t alone.

  Then he fell into a restless sleep.

  Thirteen

  The next morning, Payton woke up in an unusually better mood. Even his stepmother noticed.

  “So, you seem to have a little more swag in your step this morning.”

  He froze, mid cereal-pouring. “Really? ‘Swag?’ Who says that these days?”

  “You just seem happier, that’s all,” she said, trying to repress a smile.

  He focused back on his cereal, making a half-smile. “Yeah. I guess it is a better day than most I’ve started off with in a long time.”

  “I bet. Lily is a nice girl. And the kids really warmed up to her. You should invite her over again. I promise no more wigs or weird hats.”

  Payton laughed. “Hey, I think that may have been a selling feature, actually.”

  “You might be right,” she laughed too, then went somber. “Pay? Is she…going through anything?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, those who have gone through stuff can sense it in others, as you know, so I’m just asking. Lily seemed like she was having a great time, but she seemed…distracted. It must sound weird, but I just know when a person is going through things.”

  Payton paused. He didn’t remember anything specific, but did notice that she seemed... ‘offish’…when she wasn’t just with the kids.

  “I’ll talk to her today,” he said around a mouthful of cereal. “Thanks for asking.”

  I guess there’s more I need to talk to her about, he thought. And I will figure it out sooner than later.

  * * *

  Same small talk on the way to school but, for some reason, it didn’t bother Payton as much then. Well, not as much as usual.

  “I was thinking—”

  “Oh geez. More thinking,” he said, then elbowed Katie.

  “Stop it, you,” she elbowed back. “I was just going to say maybe you should invite Lily over for supper more often. Might be good for everyone.”

  Katie was from a huge family with six siblings so she loved having people around. Lily didn’t have anyone, really. He guessed she needed more of a sense of family than she had.

  Might be a hit or miss.

  “Well, I’ll talk to her about it the next time I see her.”

  “You guys don’t have classes together?”

  “Not really, but we’re working on this show together so I’ll see her probably later today.”

  “Well, extend the invitation. It’d be great.”

  They pulled up in front of the school, and Payton jumped out. They locked eyes, each giving a knowing nod. He waved his stepmom off, then sauntered up to the doors. For some reason, even in his good mood, his stomach twisted with a hint that something wasn’t right.

  He hoped it was wrong.

  * * *

  Payton went through his whole day without seeing Lily. Normally he wouldn’t have thought about it, but after numerous texts and unanswered phone calls, he started to become concerned.

  Oh please, he thought. Don’t let something happen now.

  He went through his whole day without talking to her, and his heart ached. While he waited for his dad to pick him up after school, he tried texting her again.

  “Hey. ‘Sup?”

  To his relief, she finally responded “Hey! Sorry. Not feeling well.”

  “What’s up?”

  “Just stuff. You know. Not feeling well.”

  “You said that twice. Are you sick?”

  “No. Well, not really. Just feeling tired.”

  He paused, sensing more was going on. “Okay, well, wanna come over for dinner tomorrow? Bonus Mom is bugging me. Guess she likes you.”

  “Lol. Ya, okay. I’ll let you know later.”

  “Okay. Take care. I’m here.”

  “I know.”

  He stared at his phone, feeling he should do more, then saw his dad’s truck on the road. As he ran out to meet him he thought, please be okay.

  Please let nothing be wrong.

  * * *

  A week went by. Then two. No texts, no phone calls, no interaction at all. Worry turned to concern. Especially with Lily’s recent…odd behavior…that others at school were starting to notice.

  He tried again to text her. “Hey. Just wondering again if you wanted to come over for dinner. Stepmom is bugging me.”<
br />
  As he bit into his sandwich, a whistle echoed from his phone. His heart jumped.

  “Hey. Sorry. Lotsa stuff going on. Sure. When?”

  “How about tonight? We’re having tacos.”

  “lol. Love tacos. Okay. What time?”

  “Just come over around 5.”

  “Cool. Be there.”

  As he shut his phone off and finished his lunch, he wondered not only whether she’d show up, but what ‘lotsa stuff’ she’d been going through that she didn’t talk to him about.

  Concern then turned to being scared.

  * * *

  Payton got back after school, dropped his backpack off at the front door, then wandered into the kitchen. The smell of taco meat already lingering in the house.

  “So, is Lily coming for supper?” Katie asked, shredding cheese.

  Payton checked his cell. “Well, I texted her but I haven’t heard back from her in a while.”

  “I hope nothing is wrong.”

  “It’ll be fine.”

  I hope.

  He tried texting her again. “Hey. I know you’ve been bombarded with my texts but haven’t heard from you yet. Coming tonight?”

  After a few seconds, he finally got a response.

  “What time? Sorry. Been doing stuff.”

  “What kind of stuff?”

  “Just stuff.”

  “Well, we’ll talk later. Come around 4:30.”

  “Be there.”

  You’d better be.

  * * *

  At 4:30, Payton sat on the loveseat, staring out the window, hoping she’d still come. Bile stirred in his stomach, with the familiar feeling of dread. Finally, the same car pulled up as last time Lily came over. She got out, bent over, some discussion occurred, then she slammed the door and the car screeched off.

  What are you hiding, girl?

  He watched as she adjusted her clothes, took a breath then walked up their sidewalk. He didn’t flinch until he heard the doorbell ring.

  “Answer the door, please,” Katie yelled from the kitchen.

  Payton paused. Readying himself. Then he lumbered over to the door.

  Please be okay.

  He opened the door. She was beautiful as ever, but with…clouds in her eyes. She seemed distracted. Fidgety.

  “Hey,” she said, with her famous half-smile.

  “Really? ‘Hey?’ I don’t hear from you in so long and all I get is a ‘hey?’”

  She tackled-hugged him, then said, “I’m so sorry. There’s been a lot going on. I’m sorry.”

  He kept his arms limp, closed his eyes, then hugged her back. Hard. Something was going on, and he was going to figure it out. One way or the other.

  Just as Lily came in and took her shoes off, Katie appeared around the corner, wiping her hands on a tea towel.

  “Well, hello, you! I’m so happy you’re here. The kids will be excited!”

  Lily smiled. “I can’t wait to see them. I’ve missed them.”

  Suddenly, the two kids ran down the hall from Dahlia’s room, seemingly hearing Lily’s voice, and tackle-hugged her. Payton watched as tears pooled in Lily’s eyes. She closed them, hugging back.

  “Hey, guys. I’ve missed you.”

  “We missed you too,” Dahlia said, gripping Lily’s leg.

  “Well, let’s go downstairs and see what we can play.”

  “Okay,” they said in unison, running down the basement stairs.

  Lily shot Payton a side glance, smiled, then followed everyone down the stairs. He smiled back, watching her run after his siblings.

  “Is…everything okay?” Katie asked, bringing Payton out of his trance.

  He paused. “I hope so. I really do.”

  Payton didn’t even look at Katie, feeling her questioning eyes on his back, and followed the crew down to the play room.

  He just stood there…watching. She seemed so happy horsing around with the kids. She put on fairy wings and played dress up. She let River rough house with her. It was awesome. Something she seemed to need.

  She was laughing, rolling around with them, play fighting with them…just like ‘normal.’ But he knew.

  He felt it.

  After half-an hour, she turned to Payton, laughing, then just stared at him. Her eyes didn’t seem right. They were dark. Sad.

  His stomach lurched.

  Just then, a voice yelled from upstairs. “Okay, I need helpers to get the table ready. Where are my little helpers?”

  The kids gave Lily a bear hug each, then ran up the stairs to do their duty.

  Then the teens were alone.

  “So, um, can we go to your room ‘til dinnertime?” she asked.

  Payton nodded, then motioned her out the door. He let her go first, and followed her out. As soon as they walked into the room, she gave him a kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck. He wasn’t sure how to respond, but his natural response was to wrap his arms around her, pulling her closer to him. She broke the kiss, then just hugged him.

  Something isn’t right.

  Lily pulled away and sat on his bed, her knees bouncing so fiercely, her body shook. She rubbed her lips with the back of her hand.

  Payton had to distract her before Katie flew down the stairs wondering why his bed was making so much noise.

  “Thirsty?”

  Lily looked at him. “Huh?”

  He leaned forward, speaking slowly, over-enunciating his words. “Are you thirsty?”

  “No, why?”

  “Okay, let’s cut the crap. Something is obviously wrong with you. I’m not stupid. What’s going on?”

  She rubbed her hands on her thighs, then stood up. “It was a mistake for me to come here. Maybe I should go.”

  He frowned. “What? No! You aren’t going anywhere until you tell me what’s going on with you. Did you go off your meds or something?”

  She shoved her hand into her jacket pocket and dug around, apparently searching for something.

  “What’s going on? Seriously. I just want you to be here and I’m worried.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Clearly, you aren’t.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “I’m looking at you and can see that you aren’t ‘okay.’ You’re all fidgety and unfocused…with everything.”

  “I just have a lot on my mind.”

  “Well, share with me.”

  “I…I’m not sure I can.”

  “Lily, what’s going on? Even people at school are starting to notice you aren’t your strong self.”

  She stopped digging, and locked eyes with him. “Look I’m just gonna go, okay? I don’t need the third degree. I told you if something was wrong, I’d tell you.” She had both hands in the same pocket, the material in her pocket stretching under the strain. “Where is my stupid cell phone?” she mumbled, practically ripping the pocket hole wider.

  Payton jumped up, and grabbed her arms. “And I told you that you come to me before something happens. Look at you, Miss Lily. You’re jittery, sweating and you can’t even sit still. What’s going on?”

  “I told you, I’m fine.”

  “I don’t believe anything at this point. You aren’t the same. What is going on?” His grip tightened.

  “Let me go!” she yelled.

  She pulled her arms out from Payton’s hands, sending herself and her pocket contents, spilling to the floor. Lily hit her head on the bedframe while her cell phone, and a small plastic bag, flew in the opposite direction, landing at Payton’s feet.

  His heart pounded in his throat when he saw the white powdery chunks scattered inside the bag. He picked it up, holding it up to the light. Memories flooded his mind.

  Oh no.

  No!

  “What’s this?” he said, his voice hoarse. “You brought drugs into my dad’s house?” He rushed over to her, shoving the bag in her face. “What’s wrong with you? There are kids in this house! Kids that actually look up to you. This crap could kill them.”
/>
  Lily burst into tears. “I didn’t use it. I…I…just got it…just in case….”

  “In case what?” he screamed, his voice cracking. “In case you couldn’t get through a flippin’ dinner? Are you flippin’ crazy?”

  “Look, I told you I didn’t use any, I—”

  “It doesn’t matter that you didn’t use it. Not only did you get this crap in the first place, but you brought it here.”

  She cried harder, and whispered, “I’m sorry…”

  “Is this from that stupid dude that drops you off?”

  Silence.

  His body went cold. “Who is he?”

  Silence.

  “Lily, who on God’s green earth is this guy? Obviously, he means more to you than I do if you are influenced by him more than me.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “Well, I’d never get you back into this crap. So—“

  Suddenly there was a knock on the wall outside his bedroom door. “Uh, Pay? Supper is ready,” Katie’s voice came from outside his door.

  He jumped, throwing the baggie under his bed with the rest of his clothes and books piled under it.

  “Coming,” he shouted. “Give us a second, okay?”

  When he heard one set of grown-up footsteps, and two sets of little ones, thunder up the stairs he turned back to Lily who was wiping her eyes on her sleeve.

  “Here’s how this is gonna go down,” he said. “You’re going to call your dad or drug dealer or whoever dropped you off. Then you’re going to get out of here. I don’t want a junkie around me or my siblings, and I’m not going to let you ruin all the hard work my stepmom went to in to putting this dinner together. I’ll just tell her you’re sick or something.”

  Lily got up, straightening her hair and clothes. “I’m not a junkie anymore. I told you I didn’t use anything—”

  “Yet!” he interrupted. “And I can’t hang out with you when you’re in that ‘yet’ state. I care about you…so much…but I can’t do this again.”

  She sniffed, then shot him a half-smile. “C’mon. What? Are we not friends now? You can’t avoid me when we’re working on this gig together.”

  He stuck his hand up. “We are friends…more than that…you know that. But I can’t hang out with you when you’re like this. Get help. Call your sponsor. Get back on your meds, then we can hang. Until then, I just can’t do it. Sorry.”