“Bad day?”
“Could be worse. I’m not dead and didn’t get kicked out. Yet. I’d rather not talk about it, though.”
She raised an eyebrow, and gestured toward the piano that someone had rolled in and placed near the window. “Not to reference the meeting that shall not be discussed, but were you asked to play?”
“It’s the price of my admission to the banquet.”
“Excellent.” She grinned. “Better get practicing. You’re probably terribly rusty.”
It was strange to sit at an instrument again after so many years. Luid was a city of culture, of learning and art, famous theaters and music pouring from the houses, but not for my family. Let the masses be distracted, let those with lesser magic live their lives as they wished. We had a greater purpose. I would never have had anything to do with music if not for the merfolk.
The tension that had built up during my conversations with the elders and Kel slipped slowly away as my fingers remembered their places, as I laughed with Cassia over mistakes and old memories while we selected music for my small part of the evening. It was strange to be back in that place, with friends and music and laughter. I had no reason to expect it to last, but I’d enjoy it while I could.
Getting dressed took longer than I’d expected. The style the mer men were wearing was a structured suit, simple enough in the jacket and pants once I found something to fit, but the shirts seemed unnecessarily complicated, requiring added equipment to close the cuffs and a tight tie about the neck. I liked the dark, muted colors though.
In spite of the difficulties our clothing caused, we were all ready before the women came downstairs. They were as colorful as we were plain, and were obviously enjoying themselves. It took me a minute to find Rowan in the group. A young mer woman with green hair had her by the hand and was pulling her along, and Rowan laughed as she stumbled slightly in her heeled shoes. The world seemed to slow as I watched her.
Kel chuckled. “You poor bastard,” he said, and stepped forward to show Rowan to her seat.
The dress she wore hugged her body in all the right places and made her skin glow. She turned back to me and smiled. In that moment she wasn’t cute, or pretty. She was perfect.
So that’s that, I thought, and followed her. I wouldn’t give Kel the satisfaction of telling him he was right, but there it was.
Someone had set out cards with a guest’s name on each, one at every place setting. Rowan and I weren’t seated close to each other, but I stopped behind her chair to lean in and whisper, “You look incredible.”
“Oh,” she said, and turned as far as her dress would allow. Something about the curve of her neck as she looked up at me was nearly overwhelming. “You are… I mean, you look fantastic.”
Arnav clapped his hands to signal that everyone should find their seats, and I reluctantly left her. When I looked back, she was still watching me.
I was seated between the green-haired mer, Niari, and a human man. When I looked down the table I saw Shawn and her daughters, along with a few other humans. It was unusual for the merfolk to have so many “land-bound” guests at one time.
Over supper, the man next to me, who introduced himself as Jeck, told me their story. They were from a town in the North, in dragon country. It was a small town, but many of the people had strong magic. Orders had come from Luid for those with significant gifts to report immediately to the capital. They’d ignored the orders, and learned quickly how serious Severn could be when he wanted something. Some had escaped, but had been lost and freezing when they set up camp on a lakeside beach. The merfolk found them, and the humans had been staying at the Grotto ever since, acting as caretakers, cooking for the merfolk when they came up, making occasional trips to the surface, and trying to figure out what they were going to do next. He didn’t seem to know who I was, and I hoped no one would tell him.
I had Jeck talking to me on one side and Niari on the other asking me about life in Luid as we dined on fish, shellfish, fresh bread and roasted root vegetables. I think I answered and at least acted like I was listening, but Rowan kept distracting me. Before the meal was over she had the youngest mer child sitting on her lap, eating from her plate. She seemed to be making plenty of friends.
After much of the food and most of the wine were gone, a few volunteers cleared the tables. They brought out silver plates piled with desserts—my signal that it was time. I went to the piano and played a few of the songs that Cassia had helped me choose earlier. Music wasn’t a gift that my magic helped me with. I did a good enough job, but had to concentrate on the papers in front of me. I didn’t notice until after the fifth piece that Rowan was watching me. She looked melancholy, though her expression became animated again whenever someone spoke to her.
When the band finished their dessert and stepped up to replace me, people started pairing off and heading toward the dance floor. I offered my hand to Rowan before anyone else could. “Care to dance, my lady?”
She stood and gave me a strained smile as she took my hand. “I’m not very good at dancing,” she whispered.
“Doesn’t matter,” I told her. “It’s not very difficult. Is your head all right?”
“How did you—oh, never mind. It’s normal, I guess. Nothing to worry about.”
“Do you need anything?”
“No.”
I pulled her closer as we moved across the floor. “See?” I said. “You’re not even stepping on my toes.”
She smiled and rested her head against the front of my shoulder. “No, it’s good. Just like a dream.”
When the song ended, Kel came and asked if he could have a dance with Rowan. “No offense,” he told me. “She’s just a lot prettier than you are.”
“Probably looks better in a dress, too,” I added.
I turned to walk away and heard Kel say, “I hope we never have to find out.”
Rowan laughed.
I sat at the table to watch the dancers go by. “Hey,” Cassia said, and sat next to me. “Everything good?”
“Excellent,” I said, and she rolled her eyes at the undisguised lie. “Thank you for your help earlier.”
“Not a problem,” she said, and pulled her chair closer to mine. She leaned back and crossed her legs, revealing a slit in her skirt that reached almost as high as the dress dipped low in the back. She watched me, appearing deep in thought.
“What?”
“You’ve grown up a lot since the last time you were here.”
“I should hope so. You’ve hardly changed, though.”
“Mmm. Walk with me a minute?” I looked back at the dance floor. Rowan was still with Kel, and seemed to be enjoying herself. I followed Cassia back to the empty pool room I’d been in earlier. She sat on the bench and patted the spot next to her. “Sit.”
“Cassia I—”
“Just for a minute.”
A trio of children ran in after us and sat at the edge of the pool, splashing their toes in the water. The oldest boy stripped off his clothes and jumped in, changing to his tail before he resurfaced. I sat next to Cassia, and we watched them play for a few minutes. Cassia laughed when the boy in the water slapped his tail on the surface and sent up a fountain of water that missed his friends but soaked the messy pile of his own clothes.
“Are any of them yours?” I asked. “Biologically speaking, I mean.”
“Oh, heavens no,” she said. “I mean, I adore them, but I’d rather be auntie to all of my little darlings than go through all of that. I already have enough to deal with.” A little girl waved, and Cassia wiggled her fingers back at her.
Kel came in a few minutes later. “Rowan’s gone to lie down,” he said. “Her head was getting worse, I told her to go.”
“Where is she?”
“I took her up to her room. She said not to bother you, but I thought you’d want to know. Una’s up there with her, one of our healers.” Kel narrowed his eyes at Cassia. “What are you doing?”
“Just catching up,�
�� she said. The mer boy pulled himself from the pool and changed back to legs, then chased the other children out of the room, dripping and yelling. Kel gave Cassia another suspicious look, then turned and followed them. Cassia placed her hand on my thigh.
“Cassia, please don’t.”
“Just listen. It doesn’t matter much to me either way, really. But you look fantastic, and it’s been a long time for us. If you’re lonely tonight, or bored, or if you’ve missed me, or whatever other excuses you people need…”
“I thought you and Rowan were friends now.”
She seemed surprised. “Oh, we are. I like her a lot. But she didn’t say you were hers.”
“No, I suppose she wouldn’t have.”
Cassia bit her lower lip and looked at me from under her dark eyelashes. She really hadn’t changed at all. She was still flawless. “Are you? Hers, I mean.”
“I think I am.”
She patted my leg, stood, and smoothed her dress over her hips. “Good to know. It’s too bad, but I know how it is with you humans.” She leaned down and kissed my cheek. “Still friends?”
“Always.”
“Good. I’m going to see if Niles is still around.” She walked away, and I leaned forward and rested my head in my hands.
“Hey, mister, you okay?”
Dear gods, how many children do they have around here? I didn’t remember so many when I was at the Grotto before. “I’m fine, thanks.”
It was the younger of the two girls we’d met earlier. I couldn’t remember her name. “Are you guys living here, too?” she asked.
“I don’t think so.”
“Oh.”
“Shouldn’t you be in bed by now?”
She plopped herself on the seat next to me. “Yeah, but Kel said he’d dance with me, and I can’t find him anywhere.”
“I’ll let you know if I see him.” She followed me back to the dance floor and rejoined her family, and I went to find Rowan.
Niari told me that Rowan’s room had a red door, of which there were two. I knocked at the first, and Kel opened the door.
“Your little lady friend is looking for you,” I told him.
“Lisbeth?”
“Could be.”
He glanced behind him into the dimly-lit room. “She’s awake, but groggy,” he said. “Una gave her something that should let her sleep. I didn’t want to leave her alone.”
“You’re a good person, Kel.”
“I know,” he said. “Don’t say it too loud, though. People will think I’ve gone soft. I have a reputation to consider. Wait… no, that’s you.”
I laughed. “You’re such an ass. I’ve missed you.”
He grinned. “I know that, too.” We switched places, and I closed the door behind him, shutting out the music, laughter, and clinking of glasses from below.
A single lamp flickered on the fireplace mantel, its light reflecting off of the blue dress laid over the back of the sofa. Rowan rested under a heavy blanket on the bed. She opened her eyes slowly. “You didn’t have to come.”
“No, I did. You said it wasn’t too bad.” I kicked off my shoes and sat down on the edge of the bed.
“It wasn’t at first. And I didn’t want to leave. That was the best party I’ve ever been to.”
“Maybe because there were no terribly dull people trying to marry you.”
She gave me a groggy smile. “Maybe that’s it. Anyway, you can go back. I’m not even awake. She gave me something that tasted like seaweed.”
“It probably was. You sure you don’t want me to stay? I think I’m finished down there.”
“No, go on. I heard the music, there’s still plenty of party left. Have fun.” She paused. “Is Cassia still there?” She sounded slightly clearer-headed than she had the night she took the strong heartleaf, but she could barely keep her eyes open.
“I don’t know. Why?”
“No reason,” she said. But it didn’t sound like no reason.
Rowan’s hand rested on the pillow near her face, and I reached out to touch her fingers. “Cass is a good friend. What I had with her before… that kind of thing never lasts longer than a summer with a mer. It was perfect for both of us at the time. It was what it was, and I didn’t have to worry about losing her as a friend when it was over.”
“And now?” Her eyes had closed again, and I wondered whether she’d remember any of this in the morning.
“Now I’m glad I have friends down here. It’s good to be back with them and to hear what they’ve been doing since I left, even if sharing my side of the story isn’t so pleasant. And it’s good to be able to relax a bit, knowing that we’re safe and that these people will take care of you. I’m sorry if you thought there was anything else.”
“Okay.” She pulled the blankets up over her cheeks, which had become flushed. “But if I wasn’t here?”
“If you weren’t here, I wouldn’t be here. And even if I were, it wouldn’t be anything like what you and I have… Rowan?”
She was asleep, her breathing deep and regular. I stayed for a few more minutes, and then went back to the party. I was pleased to have that much of the discussion out of the way, but more than happy to leave any more of it for another time.
Chapter XXX
Aren
ALL WAS QUIET IN THE Grotto the next morning when I left my room to go up to Rowan’s. The food and dirty plates had been removed from the table, but a few wine glasses still sparkled in the sunlight, and dirty linens littered the surface of the table. By the end of the day it would all be cleared away, but for now everyone seemed to be sleeping.
Well, almost everyone.
Niari was in Rowan’s room clearing away a few dishes and collecting Rowan’s dress and shoes. “Good morning,” she said, her voice huskier than it had sounded the night before.
“Is everyone still at home?” I asked. They all would have returned to the water for the night. Being on land could be fun for a while, but most mers found that it became uncomfortable if they stayed up for too long.
“Mostly. Their homes, or each other’s.” She grinned wickedly. “You’re looking for Rowan? Una came and took her to the healer’s room for tests. If you help me get this stuff to the kitchen, I’ll take you there. You probably won’t be able to see Rowan, though.”
I frowned. If Rowan had known about the tests, she hadn’t mentioned anything about it to me. “What are they doing?”
“Darned if I know.” She tossed the blue-green dress over one shoulder and stacked five delicate teacups into a teetering stack that she carried in one hand. “Some kind of testing of what she can or can’t do, I suppose. Trying to figure out what’s got her blocked up. I don’t understand it. I’m going to the library to help with research. The elders are already there, and a few others. Everyone else is probably in bed.”
Niari gestured toward a small stack of papers that sat folded and sealed on the table next to the bed. “Letters,” she explained. “To her parents, a friend, some guy. My hands are full, can you get them? I said we’d have the humans send them back. Just telling folks she’s safe, I think, but not saying where she is.”
I wondered what the letters said, especially the one addressed to Callum Langley. Did she tell him what she was, or only that she wasn’t coming back? Whatever it was, she probably said it more kindly than he deserved.
I handed the letters to Shawn when we reached the kitchen, and she promised to do her best to make sure they crossed the border and made it safely to Lowdell.
I’d never been to the healer’s room before. Niari led me down a long, dim hallway to a closed door made from solid oak. She knocked softly, and Mariana opened the door just enough to step out. A pained moan came from inside the room.
Rowan.
I tried to see in, but Mariana pulled the door closed behind her and gave me a sharp look that made me take a step back.
“What are you doing in there?” I asked, and Mariana grabbed my arm to steer me away from the door. Sh
e watched to make sure I wasn’t going to cause trouble, then nodded to Niari to indicate that it was all right for her to leave us.
“Only what we have to do. This is what Rowan wanted. She said she’d rather we learn what we could and be done with it. She’s handling it quite admirably, all things considered.”
My stomach clenched. “There’s nothing I can do?”
“Not now, no.” She released my arm, but her voice remained cold. “We’ll be through soon, but she’ll need time to rest here before she goes anywhere. I know this must be frustrating for you, but you’ve done all you can for her.”
It was more than frustrating, it was infuriating. I wasn’t accustomed to being useless, but Mariana was right. There was nothing I could do. “I’ll go help with clean-up,” I told her. It wouldn’t take my mind off of Rowan, but at least it would accomplish something.
“Excellent idea. I’ll have someone let you know as soon as she’s ready to see you.” She opened the door, releasing a cry from within the room. I wanted to break the door down, to make them stop whatever they were doing to her.
It’s what she wants, I reminded myself. She could stop it herself, any time.
Mariana closed the door behind her.
I stood for a few minutes in the silent hallway, fighting the urge to break my promise to the elders, blast the door in, and make them stop. But then Rowan would never find her cure.
I ignored the ache in my chest, and hurried back to the main hall.
It was many hours before I heard anything else, and each dragged on longer than the one before. It’s hard to tell what time it is when there are no clocks and you can’t see the sun clearly. The other clean-up volunteers avoided me, seeming to sense that I wasn’t interested in speaking, and then left me alone to pick at the piano when the cleaning was finished.
I didn’t know what else to do with myself. Had it been only a week before that I’d thought Rowan talked too much, that her company was irritating and that I might have made a mistake in helping her? All I wanted now was to have her in my arms again, and to hear her laugh.
The light was fading from the water outside the window when Kel found me. “We’re in the library,” he said. “Arnav wanted to talk to her alone first, but she said she’d rather have you there.”
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