Denying Mr. Parks (The Parks #1)

by Lilly James

  That was it. I banged my fist on the table, making the glasses and cutlery shake. “Steph, enough. You’re being a miserable, moaning bitch.”

  She blanched, looking a little bemused, but I wouldn’t let her speak. “Let the man eat how he wants, let him speak how he wants.” I smacked my palm against the table each and every time I spoke. “You pick at every fucking thing the poor guy does. I’m sick to death of hearing you moan at him. Let the man fucking breathe. Either that or leave him and put him out of his fucking misery.”

  She stared back at me, utterly gobsmacked with her fork in mid-air and pasta wrapped around it. I quickly glanced to Mathew and Alex, who were both equally astonished, but I’d had enough at that point. I stood forcefully, ripped my bag off the back of my seat, and accelerated out of the restaurant.

  I was feeling resentful, enraged, and intolerant. And envious. Hell yes, envious. I mean, Parks made a show of telling me how much he wanted me, how much he desired me, then he pulled a stunt like this with a woman he knew I completely loathed. No, loathed didn’t quite cover it. I fucking hated the witch.

  I needed a drink. A fishbowl of wine and a straw would do nicely. I was mentally on my way to a nearby bar, but Steph sabotaged my plan by following behind me with Alex and Mathew in tow.

  “Evey. Where are you going?”

  Exasperated, I tilted my head back to look up at the night sky. “Just leave me alone.”

  Steph, being my best friend, was not about to do that. “You think I’m going to let you leave when you’re acting this way? I know exactly where you’re heading, and please, don’t do it. Talk to me,” she pleaded desperately, her heels clipping up the pavement as she made her way towards me. When she reached me, she spun me around by my shoulders, forcing me to look at her. She was angry with me, of course she was, but she was also the most understanding, forgiving person I knew. All she ever wanted was the best for me. I felt sick and guilty for treating her like this, but I couldn’t contain my anger.

  “Steph, I just need some space.”

  “With a wine bottle?” Her scoff was both angry and supplicating. “Come home, we’ll talk.”

  “I don’t want to talk.” It was my turn to plead. “I just want to be alone.” I really did. Alone with a wine or vodka.

  “I will not sit back and watch you drink yourself into oblivion. Remember what we said: We talk, we don’t drink. Just let me in.” Steph’s eyes were swimming in tears, but I felt exhaustion from her more than anything. She was exhausted from trying to keep me sane.

  Her expression completely cooled my temper, and I groaned, rubbing my hands over my face. “All right, we’ll go home.”

  The sincere, relieved breath Steph let out was heartbreaking. She had stayed by my side so many times, trying to talk me out of drinking, trying to calm me down whenever I got so angry at life and so pissed off I would black out. Did I deserve a friend like her? No, I did not.

  We were all silent in the taxi ride home. I rode in the back with Alex and Steph, and Steph held my hand the whole way. When we got to our flat, she took Mathew to one side quickly, I think to apologize for her behaviour. Letting them be, I rummaged through my bag for my keys and felt Alex walk up next to me.

  “You okay?” He rubbed my arm attentively.

  I still hadn’t entirely calmed down, but I was a little more approachable. I looked up at Alex and saw a good, kind man. A man that had never caused me any trouble. A man that didn’t make my blood boil and didn’t force my feelings to come out of hiding and mess with my head. Alex was comprehensively safe for me. With him, my emotions were impenetrable and inaccessible, and I thought that was what I needed.

  Leaning into him, I made a selfish, narrow-minded decision and placed my hands on his soft, baby-face cheeks and kissed him. After hesitating a couple seconds, he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into him before kissing me back. His lips were soft, affectionate, and ever so gentle. He circled his tongue slowly around mine and moved his hands around to my back to pull me closer into him. While he was kissing me, I silently begged for a heat rush. I prayed for a pulsing ache between my thighs, but there never was one. Did there have to be? If a man was willing to treat you right, did it matter if you never had that spark?

  I pulled away on a small smile. “I’m going to head in. Pep talk with Steph and all that.”

  “Sure.” He moved back a little to give me some space, and when we both turned, Steph was standing at the bottom of the path with her arms crossed and smirking ridiculously.

  “The cab’s waiting,” she told Alex with a jerk of her head.

  “I’m going.” He took another look at me and headed down the path, beaming.

  “He’s head over heels for you, you know.” I knew he was, but Steph pointing it out wasn’t needed. I would try and make it work, I really would. Besides, Parks was too much. He was too frustrating. He made my blood boil. I got jealous seeing him with other women, even thinking of him with other women, and I’d never been jealous in my life. He was with me one minute, then Carla the next. He wanted me one minute and not the next. What was our relationship even based on? Rough sex? Punishment? A dirty affair? I had no idea of what category I could actually put us into. Wait, there was one: a mess. I settled on that. If I distanced myself from him and the world he came with, a world I didn’t belong in, I would be all right from then on. He was disruptive towards me and my feelings, and I couldn’t afford to self-destruct again.

  Then I thought of why I’d really kissed Alex just now. Was it because I was bursting with vexation from seeing Parks with Carla? I wasn’t sure.

  I climbed into bed, and Steph jumped onto the bottom, crossed her legs, and opened a Galaxy bar. “So what’s up with you?”

  I took the chocolate she broke off for me out of her hand and threw it into my mouth. “I’m just worried about work.” Lie.

  Her eyes were full of pity, and her voice was calming when she spoke. “I’m worried about you, Evey. You’ve been acting crazy. Erratic. Your moods are all over the place, and you’re going out with girls you don’t even know.”

  “What’s that got to do with anything? How have I been acting erratic?” My defence mechanism kicked in again because I hated the truth.

  “Are you kidding me? You punched your boss, Evey.”

  I shrugged nonchalantly, then pulled my hair up into a loose ponytail. “Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve punched someone.”

  She sighed heavily, like I wasn’t getting it. “And you never ignore my calls unless you’re up to something.”

  I drew imaginary pictures with my fingers in my bedding to avoid her eyes. “I didn’t hear my phone last night. I’m sorry.” I continued with the lies, lies I hadn’t strung for almost nine months, but I was back there again.

  Steph sucked in some courage before her next question. “Are you drinking again, Evey?”

  “No!” I barked. “You don’t trust me now?” There was my defence mechanism again. She shook her head timidly, so I reached over the bed to take her hand in mine and begged her, because I needed my best friend more than I thought I did. “Tell me you trust me, Steph, because I need your trust more than you will ever know. I’m not drinking again. I promise.”

  After a brief pause, she sagged from watching me look so desperate. “If you say you’re not, then I trust you. One hundred percent.”

  “Thank you.” I breathed out heavily and utterly relieved.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  All the next morning I didn’t hear from Parks nor did I see him at work, and I was immensely glad about that. I saw Carla, however, accompanied by a black eye. I almost got out of my seat to apologize to her, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. She provoked me. She also avoided me, which was strange. Not once did she look my way or talk about what happened, nor did she explain to me why she allowed me to keep my job. I didn’t understand it.

  “I wonder what happened,” Clarke whispered over at me when he happened to glance up from his
desktop.

  I carried on typing, not being able to look him in the eye. “Who knows?”

  Billy Bullshit had overheard our whispering and was quick to jump on the bandwagon. “I had a black eye once,” he said, rolling back on his heels with his arms behind his back. “It was much more hideous than Carla’s.”

  I groaned loudly and almost hit my forehead against my computer screen. His voice was like torture to me. “Only you, Billy, would boast about having a bigger black eye than someone else.”

  At lunchtime Clarke got his things together as he was leaving for his holiday early. I almost wished he wasn’t. I didn’t particularly like the thought of having to meet someone new and pretending to like them.

  “Now when I’m gone, my girl, you are representing me, so be on your best behaviour. I can overlook your erratic behaviour—heaven forbid—but my temp will need you. And please, for the love of God, be polite.” He smirked and almost went to hug me, but I made it awkward by stepping back.

  “I’ll be good,” I promised.

  Steph texted me at lunch, asking to meet me at Starbucks, and I agreed. I needed to spend more time with her. I gathered my belongings and overheard Carla telling Pat all about her plans for that night.

  “He took me to a beautiful restaurant yesterday evening. It was heaven. He’s too good to be true. It may have taken me a while to bag him, but I knew I would in the end.” She swooned.

  “I do wish you would inform of his name,” Pat continued.

  The pencil I was ready to put back into my bag snapped from the force I was holding it with. I aggressively picked up my bag and threw it onto my shoulder before turning to leave. I saw Carla smirk intentionally when I walked past. She’d obviously told Pat about her plans with Parks to piss me off. Good, they were welcome to each other.

  I pushed and shoved my way into Starbucks until I saw the blonde mass of curls my best friend had put up into a messy bun on the top of her head.

  She pointed at my coffee when I fell into my chair. It looked delightful. “Ooh, what’s that?” I asked.

  “This”—she pointed to the concoction—”is a Mocha Cookie Crumble Frappuccino.”

  “Looks yummy.” I dipped my finger into the top of the froth and licked it clean.

  “I ordered us salads. That all right?” Just as she said it, the new girl, Tabby, appeared beside our table with two plates. Every time I saw her I was drawn to her eyes. They were so big, almost cartoon-like. The whites were whiter than white, and the blue irises were so blue. I couldn’t help staring, even though it was weird of me. She had her blonde hair up in a braid, which pulled her hair out of her face to show off her gorgeous, model-like cheeks. Her face was young, fresh, and angelic, flawless even though she had no makeup on.

  “Wow, your eyes.” Steph was more intrigued than I was.

  “Thanks.” She hardly acknowledged Steph before looking away quickly to focus on me. “Hi, Evey.” She smiled a perfect, white-toothed grin.

  “Hi.” I smiled back as she set down our plates. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” Again she was overly friendly and staring at me like I was a celebrity. Steph must have noticed, because I caught sight of her frown from the corner of my eye. Picking up my fork, I was about to dig into my salad when I heard Tabby’s voice again.

  “Do you have plans for today?”

  I gave Steph a questioning look. “Just work.” I answered short because I wanted to enjoy my lunch without someone watching over me.

  “Have a nice day,” she sang, almost skipping back to where she came from.

  Steph twirled her index finger around her temple. “Kooky.”

  I laughed and shook my head. “She’s harmless.” A bit kooky, yes, but harmless.

  We chatted amongst ourselves and had finished our salads when we were interrupted again. This time it was Steph’s friend, one that didn’t like me so much.

  “Steph, darling, how are you?” I glanced up, and Steph stood to give Rachel a welcome hug. “Evey,” Rachel sniffed, and I knew it would have killed her to acknowledge me.

  “Hi.” I smiled as broad as I could. It was then Steph and I noticed she had a car seat in her hands with a small baby inside.

  Steph immediately swooned over the little girl. “I didn’t even know you were pregnant,” she said, all excitable.

  “Nor me,” I piped up. “I just thought you’d put on weight.” That was me; no filter.

  Rachel’s mouth fell open whilst Steph closed her eyes slowly, as if she wanted the ground to swallow her up.

  “Sorry.” I shrugged. I wasn’t sorry but felt I had to apologize before Steph had a heart attack.

  Rachel turned away from me to chat to Steph briefly before walking off to find a table.

  When Steph sat down, I was drinking the remainders of my coffee and looked over the ridge of my cup to find her scowling at me. “What?” I said, intentionally innocent.

  “That is why you have no friends,” she hissed, then her attention went to her phone as it beeped. She read a text quickly, then shoved it back into her bag aggressively.

  “Mathew?” I guessed, pushing my empty plate aside.

  She made a disgruntled expression. “We’re not talking.”

  “Why this time?”

  “Because our sex life sucks. He can’t keep a boner, Evey.”

  I stared at her, deadpan. “You’re not serious?”

  “I tell him to get some Viagra, because his mate, Ricky, sells them three quid each, but he won’t accept that he needs that small boost, you know? He’s fucking useless. I have a better experience by myself. Thank fuck for my collection of rampant Rabbits.”

  I glanced at my watch and saw it was just gone one o’clock. Praise the Lord I got out of her going on about Mathew. “Shit.” I stood in haste. “I have to get back to work. See you later.”

  ***

  I climbed into the lift, and just because I was late, it seemed to stop on every damn floor. My foot was tapping restlessly as I stood behind two old men that were getting out before my stop. As the doors opened, off they went, and in walked Parks. His eyes lit up, as if he was a little entertained when he spotted me, and my heart skipped a beat from the sight of his face. I tried to press the ‘close’ button on the door to stop him entering, but he jammed his foot in the way quickly. I shifted aside so I wasn’t near him, but Jesus, the sexual tension between us could have turned the atmosphere a scorching red. From the corner of my eye, I saw him make a show of looking at his watch.

  “You’re late.” He leaned over to press the button for his floor, then took my wrist, glancing at the watch he bought me. When his fingers touched my skin, my heart did a jump, my pulse quickened, and my temperature heightened. “I see your watch is still working, so the problem must be your incapability to tell the time.”

  I snatched my wrist from his hold. “I lost track of time at lunch. Not that it is any of your concern.”

  He straightened out his tie, and I would have been lying if I said I didn’t watch his dexterous fingers at work whilst thinking about how they could make me slick in moments. “Lunch with whom?”

  “The fucking queen,” I spat out, angry at his lack of emotion. After what he’d done, he still thought he had the right to be possessive towards me.

  “Oh, and how was dear old Elizabeth?” He was playing around and spoke in an English accent when he knew I loved him doing so. Bloody arse.

  I wrinkled my nose as hostility coursed through my body. “Fan-fucking-tastic.”

  The doors pinged open, and as ever, he gestured for me to exit before him. “After you.”

  I marched past him and felt the sting of a slap across my backside. My body lurched forwards, and instinctively I looked up at the desk where Melisa was sitting, but thankfully she was too engrossed in her computer to have noticed.

  Parks pushed himself up against my back and bent down to my ear. “That’s for being late.”

  I exhaled harshly through my nose like
a wild bull as he walked ahead of me in his fine, charcoal-grey suit. Melissa’s bright-eyed, girly flutter of eyelashes when she spotted him made me want to vomit in my mouth.

  “Afternoon, Mr. Parks.” She beamed as he walked on gallantly without giving her a glance. I followed him into the room he was entering and slammed the door behind me.

  “What the fuck was that?”

  “A punishment for being late.” He was aloof and completely reticent. I hated that he was acting cold, distant, and dating Carla. Fuck it, I thought. My life was better when he wasn’t in it. My head was better with him not engaging it, and my body was better off without him touching it. Or fucking it. Or licking it.

  I scoffed and turned on my heel slightly to look away from him. “Fuck you,” I spat.

  “I’d rather you fucked me,” he hit back smoothly.

  “Or you could go fuck Carla,” I hissed as I looked back at him.

  His eyes narrowed bitterly. “She means nothing.”

  I crossed my arms. “You sure looked cosy last night.”

  He copied me and crossed his own arms. “So did you and Alex.”

  My jaw dropped. He had the cheek to bring that up? “You think you can tell me you want me, then go date Carla, then have the nerve to pull me up on Alex?”

  His sigh was exasperated, and so was the action of his fingers as he rubbed his forehead. “That was for you, Evelyn.”

  I gulped, perplexity washing over me. “What?”

  “The only thing stopping her pressing charges against you is to date her. And I obliged. It’ll only be until the evidence of her black eye has disappeared, because when that’s gone, she has nothing against you. Only her word. She took pictures of it, of course she did, but I got into her phone and deleted them. She has nothing on you, Evelyn. I want to protect you, don’t you see? I will protect you.”

  My heart halted in my heavy chest, and my mind was swamped with a mixture of emotions. “You’re dating Carla to stop her pressing charges? Is that why she let me keep my job?”