Bound To Surrender BN

by Jenna Jacobjenna Jacob

  Trevor nodded, but Drake could tell he was far from convinced.

  Tristan burst onto the deck wearing only his socks and no coat. Racing to Trevor, the toddler tackled him in a hug. “Did you faw down and go boom, Unk Twebber?”

  He quickly wiped his eyes and clutched the toddler to his chest as if he were a lifeline. Trevor bent and inhaled the sweet scent of the child, then shook his head as a watery chuckle rippled off his lips.

  “No, I didn’t faw down. I’m just resting my legs,” Trevor fibbed. “Where are your shoes and your coat? You’re going to catch a cold out here. Let’s go inside.”

  Tristan’s eyes grew wide. “Me no wanna be sick.”

  “I didn’t think so.” Trevor stood and flashed both Drake and Julianna a weak smile before hoisting the toddler onto his hip. “How about we weed some stories?”

  “Yeah,” the child squealed.

  Trevor laughed and carried the little boy back inside the house.

  Both Drake and Julianna stood speechless as Trev closed the door behind him.

  “Why is it my son is the only one who can lure a laugh out of him?” A perplexed look wrinkled her face.

  “I wondered the same thing, but after our talk in the driveway, I think I might have figured it out.”

  “Oh? Tell me.”

  “I think we…we need to adopt a baby.” It was the first time Drake had pushed the words from his lips. But if it were a viable solution, he’d shout them from a mountain.

  “A baby?” Julianna gaped.

  “Not today. He’s not ready to be a father yet. But he needs something new and exciting to focus on to help put the trauma behind him.”

  “I agree, but a baby? You’re not serious, are you?” she asked incredulously.

  “Yeah. I am.”

  “But you can’t. I mean, it might be years before Trev’s back to normal. At least according to Tony.”

  Drake took her hand. “You’re freezing. Let’s go inside.”

  While Julianna sat down at the kitchen table, Drake peered into the family room. He didn’t see any sign of Trevor or Tristan, only Mika as he bounded down the stairs.

  “If you’re looking for Trev, he and Tristan are up in his room, reading stories. Is everything all right?”

  Drake silently nodded toward the kitchen. Before taking a seat, Mika grabbed three long-neck beers from the fridge. Julianna filled Mika in as Drake sat watching his friend’s reaction. Pretty much the same as hers had been, except Mika’s eyes grew wider.

  “But I thought you didn’t want kids?”

  “I didn’t think I wanted them either, but now…well, your little man’s made me reevaluate that. I’m not blind. I’ve seen the change in your lifestyle since Tristan was born. But I’ve also noticed how drastically Trevor changes when he’s around the little guy. It’s fucking night and day. He’s always wanted to adopt, but I didn’t put two and two together until after our talk this morning.” Drake explained how easy it had been for Trevor to leave the brutal memories of his first beating behind. Focused on the new love blossoming between the two of them, he’d been able to fixate on the beauty of life instead of the darkness.

  “I get what you’re saying, Moses…but why not take a vacation to Paris or a cruise? You know, something that’s not quite so…permanent?” Concern was written all over Mika’s face.

  “Because it’s not permanent. Vacations end. Sure, he might be able to escape the ghosts for a week or two, but what happens when the trip is over?”

  “I don’t know, but I think I’d find out before taking on the burden of a child.”

  Julianna flashed the father of her baby a stunned and doleful expression. “I thought you were happy being a father?”

  “I am. Don’t take my comments personally. This isn’t about us or our life. I’m talking about Trev and Drake’s, pet,” Mika explained before turning a pleading expression back on Drake. “You have no idea how much freedom you lose. Are you prepared to do that? I mean, someone has to be with the kid twenty-four seven. There won’t be any more nights at the club without finding a reliable and trustworthy babysitter. You can’t just pick up and go any time you want without juggling a feeding schedule and naps, and you’ll be toting around diaper bags, car seats, port-a-cribs. I’m talking a huge lifestyle change.”

  Julianna’s lips pressed into a thin, tight line. Mika’s negative words obviously stung her deeply. While he might simply be trying to open Drake’s eyes, he wasn’t scoring any brownie points with his girl.

  “Yes. I understand what’s going to change,” Drake replied. “I see the sacrifices you two make for Tristan every day. It’s not the same at the club without Julianna there. Everyone misses her. I’m sure she misses being there as well.”

  “I do. But I’d be lost without my son.” Julianna lifted her chin defiantly.

  “Our son,” Mika corrected.

  “Oh, I thought your son was a life-changing inconvenience,” she huffed.

  “Do I need to take you back to the dungeon?”

  “Not unless you want me screaming my safe word the whole way there, Master,” she hissed. Tears swam in her eyes, but instead of breaking down, she simply clenched her jaw and inhaled a shaky breath.

  Mika’s nostrils flared. Several long seconds passed before he seemed to regain his control. With a tiny nod, his expression softened. Cupping the back of Julianna’s neck, he gently drew her to his lips. She remained rigid and noncompliant, until Mika turned up the heat and claimed her mouth passionately. A soft sob of surrender rippled low in her throat, and Drake sat smirking until they’d finished.

  “I love my life. But I love my girl and our son more,” Mika murmured as he nipped her lips.

  “I’m sorry, Master,” she sniffed. “I must be PMSing or something.”

  Mika’s eyes grew wide. A slow smile spread over his face. “Drake, are you sure you want a child?”

  “Yes. I’m positive. Trevor will be over the moon when we start filling out the adoption paperwork. I’m sure there’s a ton of red tape and even more hoops we’ll have to jump through, but my mind is made up. It will happen. We’ll just have to find an agency that’s willing to place a child with two gay men.”

  “Sounds like you’ve thought this through.”

  “I have, a bit.”

  “What about a surrogate? It will alleviate red tape and hoops.”

  “You mean find a woman who’ll carry a baby for us?” Drake blinked.

  “Yeah. Say, a very good female friend that you both know and love?” Mika turned a knowing smile toward Julianna.

  Her mouth fell open in shock. Her eyes grew as big as saucers. A split second later, she flashed a blinding grin as a giggle bubbled past her lips.

  “You mean… you?” Drake barked darting his eyes between the couple. His heart hammered in disbelief.

  “Unless you’d rather have some strange woman you don’t know giving up an egg for your and Trevor’s sperm to mix with,” she beseeched. A soft, loving smile spread over her lips. “Yes. I’d do it in a heartbeat. I’d be privileged to incubate a child for you two.”

  Drake couldn’t wrap his head around their offer. Especially knowing they hadn’t given more than a split second of consideration to the ludicrous idea.

  “You’re talking about carrying another child inside you for nine long months, Julianna. Then what? You’re just going to hand that baby to Trev and me like a Christmas poinsettia? It will be half you, sweetheart.”

  Julianna’s chin quivered ever so slightly. “If it’s the difference between saving the man we love and watching him fade further away, then yes. I’d do anything. Giving life for you two would be a small price to pay, Moses.”

  Her rationale slammed him hard. He understood that her desire to help Trevor came straight from the heart. He, too, would give, do, or say anything to conquer his boy’s demons. Still, their offer made his head spin and his stomach pitch, like a freakishly wild carnival ride.

  “This is… It’
s…fucking, crazy,” Drake sputtered. “I can’t ask you to do something so…huge like that.”

  “You didn’t ask, Moses. We offered,” Mika corrected in a caring tone.

  “Yeah, but it’s too…much.” Drake stared deeply into Julianna’s pretty green eyes. “What if you can’t give the baby up? I mean, emotionally?”

  She leaned over and placed her hand on his and gave a tight squeeze. “If it were a child that Mika and I made, I couldn’t. But this one isn’t mine or his. It’s yours and Trevor’s. Knowing that from the beginning, and all the months that follow, is what makes the difference.”

  “You say that now, sweetheart…but hormones mess with emotions. You know that firsthand. Remember after Tristan was born, you slid into a funk of your own?”

  “Yes. It’s called postpartum depression. Thankfully, it didn’t last long. I know what signs to watch for next time, and I promise to vocalize my emotions. We’ll work through them.” She turned a loving smile toward Mika. “Master brought me out of my funk quickly. I have no doubt he can do it again.”

  “You know I will, pet.” Mika beamed.

  They both stared expectantly at Drake. How the hell was he supposed to answer? There were too many emotions and questions tumbling inside him. He couldn’t sort them out, let alone give a yes or no answer.

  “We’d need to iron out the details. Draw up a contract of sorts,” Mika stated as if sensing Drake’s indecision. “I’m sure Reed could handle the legal documents we need. The only contingency I’d have is that if something happened to you and Trev, god forbid, that Julianna and I would be granted custody of the child.”

  Drake nodded. Yes, he’d want that, too. He trusted them with his life and Trevor’s. He damn well trusted them with a child that was part Julianna.

  Still reeling with the shock of it all, he wiped the tears from his cheeks. Their overwhelming generosity had slammed him hard. “This is a lot to think about.”

  “Then that’s what we’ll do,” Julianna softly stated. “We’ll all think about it.”

  “Please don’t mention this to Trev yet. Not only do I need to ponder what you’re offering, but he’s got to make some major headway before I share this with him.”

  “Of course.” Mika nodded. “Until he finds his way back to us, we can’t move forward.”

  “Trouble is, I suspect this might be the only way to bring him back. But jesus. We’re talking about an innocent life here. That’s more than a massive high-stakes gamble, it’s… too big a wager for me to consider just yet.”

  “I have an idea.” Mika’s auburn eyes lit up. “Why don’t we have Tony start dropping some bread crumbs? Maybe ask Trev to list things that might make him happy. Vacations. Charity work at a battered women’s shelter, things like that. Then somewhere in the conversation bring up adoption.”

  “Oh, he’d bite on adoption, fast and hard,” Drake assured.

  “Right. Then after Tony has set the hook, he could reel him in with the incentive of letting go of the past, to start a future with not only you but a family.”

  “You’re a devious man, Master,” Julianna said with a chuckle. “But then I’ve always loved that about you.”

  Mika preened.

  “You’re scary as fuck, but I think you’re on to something, my man.” Drake nodded. He was afraid to get his hopes up, but he couldn’t ignore the little voice inside his head, either. The one that yelled he’d finally found the key that would set his lover free.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Juggling Tristan in one arm and several books in his other hand, Trevor rounded the corner into the kitchen. The minute he spied Drake, Mika, and Julianna sitting at the table, they stopped talking and turned three guilty expressions his way.

  Great. They’d been talking about him again. He didn’t blame them. Everyone, including himself, was concerned about his erratic behavior. Still, embarrassment pricked his heart. He wanted to yell and scream for everyone to stop obsessing over him and just leave it the hell alone. But another part of him wanted to run to their arms, kiss his lover and best friends, and thank them for caring. Instead, he simply sat down next to Drake, situated Tristan on his lap, and opened up one of the books.

  He tried to focus on the story and keep the toddler entertained with various voices, hoping to get lost in his giggles. It was easier than peering into the dissecting stares of the adults, reminding him that he wasn’t himself anymore. Trevor was well aware of that fact, but the more he fixated on obliterating his ghosts, the fiercer they became.

  If he had balls, he’d run away until he killed the broken parts of him. But Tony was right—the cracked and peeling walls he tried to hide behind would follow him. But what crushed him even more was the thought of being without Drake. That would make life unbearable. The cocksuckers who’d beat him up had stolen too much from him already. Trevor wasn’t going to hand over the power to zap all his happiness.

  Take back your power. It doesn’t belong to them… Tony’s words blasted through his brain. And for the first time, Trevor finally grasped the meaning behind the shrink’s obsessive mantra.

  As if he were struck by lightning, the epiphany unfolding in Trevor’s head sent a jolt of awakening to slice him in two. The heavy, imposing gears within him that had been knocked off track shifted and snapped back into place. The foundation of quicksand he’d been stuck in for months suddenly grew firmer. Trevor gained a foothold that sent his heart sailing.

  He stopped reading and let the storybook drop to Tristan’s lap. Raising his head, Trevor met Drake’s guarded stare. The enticing silver shimmer that once drew him in had faded to a dull, gunmetal gray. The monsters hadn’t taken their toll only on Trevor, but on Drake and the close friends who loved and cared about him as well.

  Aside from realizing now how to reclaim his happiness, Trevor learned that his submission wasn’t lost. He’d been kneeling before the wrong Master…the Master of weakness and fear.

  No more! he inwardly yelled.

  Determination coursed through his veins, pumping doubt and insecurity away. A golden, iridescent light lay at the end of his cold, dark tunnel, and Trevor mentally raced toward the escape with feet flying and elbows pumping.

  A resolute smile spread over his face as he reached up and cupped Drake’s cheek. “I’m going to be fine now, Moses. I promise.”

  A look of hope and uncertainty morphed over his lover’s face. He couldn’t blame Drake for his doubts. The fissure between them had grown wide and long over the past five months. It would be up to Trevor to convince his Master that his words were true. Leaning in, he pressed a kiss teeming with promise to the man’s lips.

  “No mo kisses, Unk Twebber. Weed,” Tristan demanded.

  The toddler’s words had him grinning against Drake’s mouth. And when the man tunneled his fingers into Trevor’s hair, holding him firmly in place, Julianna plucked her son off his lap. The sound of retreating footsteps echoed against the hardwoods but barely registered in his brain as Drake’s hungry kiss carried Trevor away.

  As they made out like a couple of school kids, liquid lava pumped through his veins. He squirmed and writhed in his chair, and his straining erection pressed against the zipper of his jeans. Drake held tight to Trevor’s hair as their tongues swept deep to swirl and duel in a tempest of decadent torment.

  Drake broke from his lips, trailing a path of kisses and feral scrapes of his teeth down Trevor’s throat.

  “Take me to the dungeon and use me hard, Master,” he cried out in a pitiful moan.

  “No.” Drake chuckled against his sensitive flesh.

  “Master?” Trevor wailed. “Why not?”

  “I love to make you suffer, as much as you love me to.”

  But this wasn’t the only torture Trevor wanted. “But you said I’d earned a treat in the woods,” he reminded on a needful whimper.

  “Yes,” Drake growled. “But I didn’t say when you’d receive that treat, now did I?”

  “You’re an evil, wicked m
an.” He shivered. “But that’s just one of the many things I love about you, Master.”

  “I haven’t shown you evil yet,” Drake taunted as he sank his teeth into the sensitive spot beneath Trevor’s ear.

  As the piercing pain enveloped him in a blanket of bliss, Trevor issued a whimpering sigh.

  “Ah, I hate to interrupt you two,” Mika announced as he stepped into the kitchen, “but Tony’s on the phone. He wants to know if Trevor can come by his office now instead of tomorrow?”

  “I’m going to need three or four hours to sate your nasty needs, Master,” Trevor mumbled under his breath.

  Drake laughed. Releasing his blond mane, the big brute reached down and squeezed the pulsating stiffness inside Trevor’s jeans. With a hiss, he rocked his hips, filling his lover’s broad hand.

  “Tell him we’ll be there,” Drake assured.

  “Nooo,” Trevor wailed dramatically.

  “Quiet, sweet slut. You’ll get your treat…eventually.”

  Tamping down his lust was like trying to spit out a campfire. Not happening. Walking proved painful as Trevor hunched over and shuffled toward the patio door. Drake slapped him on the back with a laugh. “How blue are they, boy?”

  “Navy, and ready to burst, Master,” Trevor groaned.

  “Good. When we get back, I’ll tie them off until they turn purple.”

  Trevor’s knees wobbled at the thought. It had been forever since Drake had trussed up his scrotal sac like a Thanksgiving turkey. Trevor’s cock jerked anxiously within his jeans as he remembered every luscious agonizing sensation Drake lovingly bestowed.

  During the twenty-minute drive to Tony’s office, Trevor tried to dislodge the fantasies Drake had seeded inside his head. But it was too late. They’d already taken root, growing like a field in spring. His uncomfortable erection wasn’t going away, especially with the erotic look in his Master’s eyes as he darted hungry gazes toward his unruly cock.

  As Drake pulled into the doctor’s parking lot, he shoved the car into park and cut the engine. “Do you need permission to jack off before that naughty cock of yours is going to fall limp again?”