All I Want is Everything

by Daaimah S. Poole

  “No, that’s okay. I don’t drink, and I already ate,” I said.

  “Don’t go in the house. Hang out with us,” Corey said as he tried to stop me from leaving.

  “No, I don’t want to go out with a bunch of guys,” I said as I grabbed my coat.

  “I don’t bite,” BayRon said, eyeing me down with his focus being on my breast.

  “My artist, Bella, will be there, and she is supposed to perform,” Corey said.

  “I’m not even dressed,” I said looking down at my outfit.

  “You should come out. You look good. This is not a really dressed-up place anyway,” Corey said.

  “No, I’m good. Plus, I don’t even drink like that.”

  “Why not?” BayRon asked.

  “Because I don’t.”

  “There are only two reasons why a twenty-something doesn’t drink: religion or recovering alcoholic,” Corey said laughing.

  “I’m neither,” I said, offended.

  “Go home and get dressed. How long before you are ready?” Corey begged, saying since I had been out here I hadn’t been anywhere. He was totally ignoring me saying no. I needed to go out and have some fun. It was true, I had been trapped in this studio the last few weeks. It was only twelve thirty—I could hang out for a little.

  “Give me an hour,” I finally said.

  “You going to meet us here or at the club?”

  “I’ll come back here.”

  I went home and threw on jeans and a coral-pink V-neck tank top, silver jewelry and matching sandals then hurried back to the studio.

  I followed Corey, BayRon and their crew through the side door of the club. That was a first—no waiting in line. It was packed to capacity on a Wednesday.

  “Damn! I never saw a club this good during the middle of the week.”

  “Only regular people party on the weekend. All industry events are during the week,” Corey said.

  Okay, I guess I’ve been a regular person my entire life, I thought as I took in the scene.

  The music was loud, and people were dancing everywhere. There were two women standing on high columns on opposite ends of the club doing the same routine to the beat. The Ying Yang Twins’ “Salt Shaker” was playing loudly. We walked up a few steps to the VIP section and the bouncer unhooked the red velvet rope. We had our own section right by the dance floor. We were able to look down at the rest of the club. The waitress was a tall girl with black fishnet stockings. She came over to our booth and asked us what we were having.

  “Kendra, ladies first. What are you having?” BayRon said.

  “Nothing. I’m cool.”

  “What? Man, you not sitting in this club all night with us and not drinking. Bring this lady a bottle of Moët,” BayRon said jokingly.

  “You never had a drink before?” Corey asked.

  “Yeah, I’ve had a drink before. I just don’t like the way they taste. I used to be a bartender.”

  “A bartender that don’t drink?” They both took turns smiling laughing and flirting with me. They kept insisting that they were going to make me have a drink. When the drinks arrived. Corey poured me a glass of champagne and put it in my hand.

  “The virgin’s having a drink tonight,” Corey said.

  They kept asking me, so I finally gave in. Corey and BayRon were both being very attentive to me. I guess they were looking at me as fresh meat. I had two glasses of champagne, and I was a little buzzed. So I just sat and sat on the sofa, not really saying anything. A lot of women were coming over near our section, just standing around trying to get noticed. They would walk past dancing provocatively or hold their friend’s hands. One of them sat down next to me. She said, “How you doing?” She was dressed in a white dress with multicolor platform sandals. Her hair was brown and black with traces of blond. Her sides were curled down and the front was flicked up like a cute mohawk. She had light green eye shadow and clear peach lip gloss on. Corey gave the girl a hug.

  “What’s up, Core?”

  “What’s up with you, Shel?” he asked.

  “I’m good,” she said, looking over at me.

  “Let me introduce you to Kendra. She just signed to Touchlight.”

  “Yeah?” I saw her eyes light up and she said, “Really nice to meet you, Kendra. Do you have a stylist?” the girl said, introducing herself as Shelly.

  “No.”

  “I’m a stylist. I would love to style you. You can wear anything. You are built like a model.”

  “Thanks, but I heard stylists want all this money. I don’t spend my money up like that,” I told her.

  “No, girl. Here you are. Take my card and give me a call. I have connects with so many boutiques. I know a lot of people.” Then she said, “Let me get your number.”

  Every time I turned around she was smiling at me and asking was I okay. The rest of the evening she was trying really hard to hang on. The photographer came over to our booth and she said, “Get in the picture,” like I was her new best friend. People act really funny if they think you can help them I thought.

  BayRon was in the corner hugged up with these girls. Damn, he looked good. I was admiring him when Corey came over and said, “This is my artist Bella.”

  She shook my hand like a dude. She had on a rainbow bracelet, necklace and hoodie. She had a headband on her braids to the back. She was a cute girl but she was thugged out—Bella was straight-up a boy. How did she get the name Bella? That was such a soft, feminine name and she was the total opposite. She seemed like a man stuck in a short woman’s body. All her mannerisms were so masculine.

  “Bella, I’m going to put y’all on a song together. It is going to be crazy,” he said excitedly.

  “Sounds good Core, but I got to get ready to perform, I see you in a little. Nice meeting you,” she said as she walked toward the back of the club.

  “So she’s a rapper?”

  “Yeah, she is so sick. Wait until she gets onstage. She is going to turn into a whole other person. You know what would be so hot? If y’all did like a ‘best of both worlds’ type of thing. You singing and Bella rapping.” Corey said.

  “Yeah, that might be good.”

  “Only thing I want her to bring is the sexy girlie thing. Ain’t no dudes checking for no hard-ass broad. She cute—I want her to show it. I don’t care what she do off that stage but I want her to start looking like a girl. I want somebody to take her hard ass shopping. I would have my girl take her, but they’re too opposite for me. My lady is a straight-up diva, and I can see them fighting now,” Corey said.

  “Whenever you ready,” I said.

  I was having a lot of fun. I was glad I’d come out. People kept coming up to our area. I hadn’t realized how popular BayRon was. He was attracting all types of women. It was just something about his smile and his eyes. The black, Latin, white and Asian women were all on him. He was sexy as hell and flirting with me. The champagne was making me want to flirt back, but I didn’t, because I thought about Marcus. BayRon was out on the dance floor with like six girls. All the women in the club must spot money, because they were flocking to him. I don’t know how they knew who he was but they did. But he was on me hard. At first I didn’t know if it was me or if I was just fantasizing. He confirmed my suspicions when he leaned over to me and whispered, “What’s up?”

  “You tell me,” I said as I giggled and sipped some more of my champagne. Everything he said was funny. He whispered in my ear, “I’m two for two.”

  “Two for what? What are you talking about?” I asked flirtatiously.

  “One, I persuaded you to come out, two, I persuaded you to have a drink. And now there is only one thing left to do, and that’s to come home with me.”

  “I can’t do that,” I said, blushing.

  “Why can’t you?”

  “I have someone.”

  “Who’s going to tell?”

  “Sorry, I can’t. I’m a good girl.”

  “Yeah, sooner or later all good girls go bad. You goi
ng to breakfast with me?”

  “I can’t,” I said.

  “So when I going to see you again?”

  “I can’t.” I explained to him that I didn’t think my boyfriend would like that too much.

  “I’ll get with you next time.” he said as he winked at me and said goodnight.” Little did he know that next time wasn’t ever going to happen. When he left I escaped. I was way too tipsy and the club was basically over. People were leaving; it was four in the morning. A bunch of other people were outside waiting for cabs, too. One girl took her shoes off, exposing her corn-filled toes. She was standing up against the wall. Her friend had too much to drink and was on the side of her trying to hold in all her liquor. I didn’t want to be around if she failed, so I started walking toward the corner. I flagged a cab and went home.

  I got home and fell back on the bed. My head was spinning a little. I was experiencing the start of my first hangover. My phone rang with a 410 area code. I answered.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey. You made it in, Miss?”

  “Yeah, I did.”

  “You know who you talking to?” the voice asked.

  “I think so. How did you get my number?” I asked. I knew it was BayRon.

  “Um, I got my ways. I know people who know people. You left, and I just wanted to make sure you got home safely.”

  I went home to visit my family. I needed to be in my house and just take a few days off. I pulled onto my block and into my driveway. It was still hard to believe that I lived here and this was my house. I went in and surprised my mom in the kitchen.

  “The superstar is home,” my mom yelled as she hugged me. “I got the CD that you sent me. I played it for the ladies at work. Everybody was like, ‘you sound good.’”

  “Mom, I told you not to let anyone hear it.”

  “It’s okay. They are not going to bootleg it. You are just in time for dinner,” she said as I opened up the pots. My mom was making garlic noodles, grilled salmon and broccoli. She said it was almost done.

  I went upstairs to take a quick nap. Everything was just like I had left it. I stretched out on the bed. It felt good to be home. I thought I was just going to close my eyes, but when I awoke it was dark outside and two hours later. I came downstairs and everybody was eating dinner—Nitra, John, Bubbles and Bilal. I pulled up a seat and my mom made me a plate. I caught up with everybody over our meal.

  After dinner John said that he wanted to talk to me privately. Me, him and Nitra walked out to the driveway. I leaned on their truck and said, “What’s up? What’s going on?”

  “Nothing. We just wanted to ask you something.”

  “What?”

  “I don’t know if I had mentioned it to you, but we are about to open a daycare. We wanted to see if you wanted to be a partner.”

  “A daycare?”

  “Yeah, we did all the math. The startup is about fifteen thousand. We have to get equipment and find a building to lease. But we’re going to make our money back in a matter of months. We are going to accept subsidies and get grants.”

  “That’s nice. It seems like a good plan.”

  “We have five thousand and we need ten more.”

  “Ten thousand. That’s how much y’all want me to invest?”

  “Yeah. Your brother was talking about a detail shop, but I told him everybody don’t care if they car clean. But people do need a clean, safe place to send their children. You know I just started early-childhood classes,” Nitra said smiling.

  “No, I didn’t know that,” I said as she passed me the pamphlets they’d come up with. The daycare was going to be called Mind Garden. Nitra had the curriculum outline. It was very impressive, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to open a daycare. And ten thousand was a lot money. But I didn’t know how to tell them no.

  “So what do you think?” John asked.

  “I think it is good,” I lied. I mean, it was a good idea but I didn’t want to be involved. They were investing five thousand of their savings. He had a five-year plan and even had a section about eventually allowing investors in and franchising.

  “I’m guess I’m in. I’m going to give you the money, but you are going to have to tell Marcus you got it from somewhere else, because he keeps counting my money, telling me what I should do with it.”

  “What? Man! This is your money. You don’t have to get his permission.”

  “I know. I just don’t want hear his mouth.” I wasn’t sure what I was getting myself into, but I did write them a check. I went to visit Marcus, who was happy to see me. He took me to TGI Friday’s.

  I went home and got ready for the next day. That girl Shelly I’d met at the club the other night was calling me. “Hello, Kendra? This is Shelly.”

  “Hi, Shelly.”

  “I just was calling to say I have already picked up some pieces for you. I hope you don’t mind. I just need an address so I can send them to you.”

  “That is so nice of you. Thank you.” I was impressed, but scared as well.

  “Are you home? I can bring them to you.”

  “I live in the Yardley Court.”

  “I know where that is. I’ll be right there.”

  When she arrived she had her hair pulled back into a long ponytail, and big sunglasses covered her eyes. She was wearing an aqua sweater tube top, with jean capri pants.

  “Yes, girl, you are going to love this,” she said as she walked into the living room. She placed her bag on the sofa and began to open up a big white box. She pulled the dress out of the box and said, “This is going to look so good on you.” It was a pretty dress, pink with a high-waisted black belt.

  “You should wear it to your next event. Try it on.”

  I went into the bathroom and changed. The dress wrapped my body so elegantly. Although it was nice, I didn’t like Shelly’s pushy manner. She was a name dropper and was looking around my place. I hate that shit. She seemed like the type to be all up in your business. I thanked her and told her that I just didn’t need a stylist. She said she understood but that we still had to hang out.

  Chapter 17

  I had to get something to wear to Peter’s party. That girl Shelly wanted to style me, but it was like, I’m not paying somebody hundreds of dollars to pick something out for me to wear. I knew what looked good on me and I could pick it out for myself.

  I wore a purple dress, brown belt and brown high-platform sandals. I looked really nice without anyone’s assistance. I’m not going to tell you I found the dress at Target. Yes, I was there buying some sheets and I saw it hanging on the rack. It was the last one. I’m not afraid to save money.

  Peter’s party was my first red-carpet event. It was being held on the roof of the Lexington Hotel in Manhattan. I went up to the twentieth floor. I walked in and realized I was at a major party. There was a pool and I could see the New York City skyline for miles away in every direction. I didn’t see anyone I knew. A waiter came over and offered me a glass of champagne. At first I declined, until I realized I needed something to keep me company.

  I saw Peter and wanted him to know that I had made it, so I walked up to him. He had a black suit on with a white shirt.

  “Hi, Peter.”

  “Oh, hello, Kendra. I’m glad you made it. I would like you to meet my wife, Molly.” She looked me up and down and then gave me a firm handshake. She had translucent blue eyes with dark brown hair. She reminded me of Wonder Woman. “This is one our new artists,” Peter told her. “She is about to perform.”

  “Nice to meet you. Enjoy yourself,” his wife said. “I look forward to seeing your performance.”

  I saw Tashay and her manager Gil I gave them a finger wave as I sat in the corner and sipped my drink.

  She came over to me.

  “Hi. Kendra, right?”

  “Yes, how are you?”

  “I’m good.”

  “You came alone?” she asked.

  “Yes?”

  “I love your dress.” I felt like, wh
o the hell needs a stylist? I can do this on my own.

  “Thanks. Did you see Beazie?” I asked.

  “No, but he is here.”

  “Where?” I asked.

  She pointed to the bar area. I thanked her, walked over to Beazie and gave him a tap on the arm. I was happy I’d found someone I knew.

  “Hey, Kendra. What’s good with you?”

  “I just got here. How long have you been here?”

  “A few minutes. I’m not staying at this stuffy party.”

  “Why not?”

  “I have things to do.”

  “You can’t leave me,” I said as someone came and grabbed my waist. It was Thomas.

  “Kendra, come with me,” he said, holding my hand and leading me around the party. Everywhere I turned, Thomas was pulling me around the party wanting me to meet different people at the label. He was introducing me to everyone we encountered in the party as the next Touchlight superstar. Then he didn’t give me any warning—he just came out and said, “After I introduce you. I want you to just sing.”

  “Sing what?” I asked nervously.

  “Good evening, everyone. I just wanted to thank everyone for coming out this evening. I have a musical treat for you. Touchlight’s next superstar, Kendra Michelle, is going to sing for us,” he said as he handed the microphone to me. I cleared my throat and then sang “Fallin’” by Alicia Keys. When I was done, everyone was clapping and commending me on my performance.

  As I was leaving the party, Peter said, “You did great. Sorry I didn’t get a chance to talk to you that much this evening. Make sure you come to see me on Monday.” I thanked him for inviting me and said goodnight. It was raining and the security guard came up and let me stand under his umbrella.

  “Thanks, Boo,” I said.

  “Anytime, anytime. When you come here ask for me—Marvin.” He gave me his card. “I’ll always make sure you get VIP service.”

  Chapter 18