Hatsukoi. (Lesbian Erotic Romance) (Ren'Ai Rensai)

by Hildred Billings

  Please be Reina!

  * * *

  “What’s this?”

  Reina looked up from her desk and saw Michiko rummaging through the pile of dirty clothes on the bedroom floor. A pang shot through her stomach from her seiri wreaking its first day havoc in her uterus. “What are you doing in my clothes?”

  Michiko tossed Reina’s jeans and held up a white piece of paper. “Oooh, it’s a phone number! Where did you get this? Hailey’s Bar? The Pink Night? Do you even know who it belongs to?” She sat on Reina’s blue sweater and began folding the paper into a crane.

  “Yes, I know whose it is.” Reina ignored the pain in her stomach. “That’s Aiko’s phone number.”

  “Ehh?” The crane came undone as Michiko searched for the number again. “No way! You actually went on a date with her?”

  Nodding, Reina remembered how feisty that good girl had been. Few girls in Reina’s hometown had the double-punch of femme and assured, and she had spent most of the previous night digesting her own feelings on the issue. Until her seiri arrived just in time for bed, of course. Then all she could think about was running down to the nearest convenience store to get chocolate, fried food, and a back up package of panty liners.

  “Yup. We went on a date.”

  “Majisuka! I heard her say yes, but I didn’t think it would actually happen.”

  While Michiko recommenced folding the paper, Reina turned to her desk and studied the stationery before her. What was I going to say? A couple lines of Japanese kanji filled a void, but it was meaningless. Reina got the notion to write a letter that day during rehearsal, but found that her inability to express herself in words raged on. Her thoughts were once more interrupted when a paper airplane crashed into her hand.

  “So? What was she like?” Michiko scooted over and sat at Reina’s feet, like a child waiting for a pre-naptime story.

  “What was who like?”

  She received a slap to the leg. “You know. That Aiko girl. The one who’s falling down the lesbian rabbit hole faster than a Sapphic Alice herself.” Michiko placed her head on Reina’s lap. “I didn’t think a good girl like her was your type. You usually whine about how awful they were when you’re done with them.”

  Reina continued to shoot daggers at her opening line. “Ah. You mean how was sex with her.”

  “Obviously.”

  Reina flipped over her stationery and put her pen down. “We didn’t do it.”

  “Hontou ni?” Michiko sat back on her haunches again, a puzzle brewing on her visage. “Oh, did she turn you down? I thought it would be as much with a type like her.”

  “More or less.” But she left her window open for me to climb through sometime.

  “Aw. Well if we have time after work tomorrow maybe we can go to Peach Skin and get you some new pussy.”

  Still ignoring her friend, Reina picked up the airplane and unfolded it to see Aiko’s crinkled number. “She baked me cookies.” She opened the top drawer in her desk to reveal four cookies remaining in their pink packaging. “They’re pretty good.”

  The drawer swallowed Michiko’s head. “Ah! Oishii ne?” She pulled out the cookies and sniffed through them. “Can I have one?”

  “Sure.”

  Michiko snapped a cookie in half and chomped on one of the ends. “Oishii sou! She’s a good baker.” After a few more chews she continued, “Well, if nothing else, she went into that date wanting to score with you, eh? She was pretty willing when we went to karaoke. But I didn’t go through with it because she didn’t seem – ”

  “She said she wasn’t ready for sex.” Reina took the other cookie half from Michiko’s hand. “I don’t get it. I’m always ready for sex.”

  Laughter. “Not every woman is you, you know. I don’t think you could handle a relationship with somebody just like you.”

  “That’s not what I mean.”

  “Then what the hell do you mean?”

  Reina bumped her forehead against the desk. She saw Aiko, blushing, those rosy pink cheeks matching the ribbon in her hair. A rumble in Reina’s stomach announced more than just menstrual complications. I’ve known many cute girls, but there’s something genuine about that one. Genuine? Did that mean none of those “other girls” were real? Reina squinted her eyes shut. Of course they were real! She once had her fingers in all of them, hadn’t she?

  “Wakaran.”

  Michiko patted her on the back. “I think you might have a crush on her. God forbid.”

  Reina didn’t refute it.

  “My baby’s growing up.” Michiko ran her fingers through Reina’s hair, titillating her. “Soon you’ll be settling down and making lesbian babies.”

  The paper with the phone number rustled and roused Reina from her somber stupor. Beside her, Michiko waved the paper back and forth like a lazy fan.

  “Call her.”

  “Why?”

  “Why not? A cute and curious girl has given you her number and the go ahead for more dates! The chase is afoot! Why aren’t you calling her?”

  “She’s not really my type.”

  “She’s female and breathing, isn’t she?”

  You make me sound like some disgusting man. Reina took the paper from Michiko’s hand. “Fine. I’ll call her tomorrow before work.”

  “Call her now.”

  “Why?”

  “Because then I can watch.”

  Reina locked eyes with Michiko, and the power struggle of the day commenced as they fought with all their mental might. Shit, how can I say no to those round eyes? If Reina had any weakness, it was Michiko’s pleading expressions, even when not in the throes of passion.

  After dumping her stationery into another drawer, Reina sauntered out of her bedroom and went downstairs to use the phone – she was lucky her mother was still out working. If Mother knew I was calling an “innocent” girl like Aiko, I’d be deader than dead.

  Reina held the paper in one hand and hovered over the phone with the other; Michiko stood at the end of the hall with a grin plastered on her face. She gave a thumbs up and motioned picking up the phone and talking.

  Best get this over with. Reina dialed the number.

  It rang and rang, each ring giving Reina an extra second to recollect her confidence. Finally, a woman answered, but it was not Aiko.

  “Moshi moshi? Takeuchi desu.” The woman sounded older than Reina’s mother, and that was a feat.

  “Ah, hai…” Reina put on her “natural” voice, which sounded higher and more feminine than she was used to sharing. “Is Aiko there?”

  “Oh, yes, just a second and I’ll go get her. Who is calling?”

  “Please tell her it’s Reina Yamada.”

  The phone dropped. Reina glanced at Michiko and received more positive gestures. She must be on drugs. She has no reason to want me to date this girl.

  “Moshi moshi?”

  Reina froze. “A…Aiko?” Her voice squeaked, prompting her to clear her throat and resume her usual tenor. “I mean…this is Reina.”

  “Oh, good evening.”

  How easygoing! Aiko could have sounded more excited reading the weather forecast in the Sunday paper. She hates me. She thinks I’m a pervert. I’m going to have to go bury myself in Mi-chan’s breasts if I’m gonna get any sleep tonight. “Er, yes, good evening. How are you?”

  Out of the corner of Reina’s eye, Michiko drew a finger across her throat. Meanwhile, Aiko continued with, “I am fine. I was just watching a movie. You?”

  “Yes, fine. I just got home from work a little while ago and thought…I would call you?”

  “Oh, thank you for thinking of me. Is there something I can do for you?”

  Take off your clothes and kiss me. “I have a day off coming up and thought that maybe…you and I could…I mean…” What the fucking hell is wrong with me? Get your shit together! “I think we should go out again? I mean, I hardly call yesterday a proper date.”

  A pause. A heavy, pregnant pause. Reina’s throat went dry; M
ichiko bit her nails in the awful suspense. I think she cares more than I do.

  And then Aiko spoke, her voice clear with nary a scratch. “That should be fine. What did you have in mind?”

  “How about lunch on Sunday? I can’t tomorrow, I have work.”

  Aiko agreed, with her cool and calm air making Reina wobble at her knees and question her suaveness. Just her luck this girl would become the one woman impervious to any and all charms. But an agreement was an agreement, and Reina offered to meet her in Shinjuku on Sunday. When they hung up, it was cordial and flirtationless.

  “Well?”

  Reina untangled the phone cord. “She said yes.”

  “Yay! Oh, let’s a take a shower before your mother comes home and gets all judgey. I doubt you’ve told her I’m spending the night anyway.”

  For the rest of the evening Reina stayed close to her best friend, kissing and stroking her in the shower until she insisted she was satisfied. Reina didn’t ask for anything in return since she rather no one touch her on the first day of seiri. Afterwards, they shared a precooked dinner and played card games until Reina’s mother came home and commanded silence. Evening turned to night with subdued nail polishing.

  They went to bed early since they had multiple shows to perform the next day. So with the clock barely ticking away the ninth hour, Reina crawled into her futon with Michiko. In the darkness her eyes reflected a street lamp outside the window. She’s so beautiful. Thoughts continued even after Michiko said goodnight and closed her eyes.

  As sleep came, Reina’s thoughts morphed between Michiko and a timid college student not declaring any intentions other than a promise for another date. Aiko’s image was overshadowed by the scent of Michiko’s hair and the sound of her breaths. Reina thought of the unfinished letter in her drawer, in which she tried to explain all the conflicting feelings she had for her closest friend.

  No rain on Sunday, but the air was a yearlong low, forcing Reina into a jacket when she went to meet Aiko. The wind’s bite almost kept her locked up in Shinjuku Station, with the rude salarymen “accidentally” bumping against her. After the third hand on her ass, however, she decided dying of hypothermia was better than sexual assault.

  Her lips were as blue as her eye shadow when she spotted Aiko coming out of their agreed exit. Reina waited for her to wave before walking up to meet her.

  “It’s cold!” Aiko the Obvious announced. She wrapped her arms around her torso as opposed to reaching out to Reina. “I hope we’re not staying out here!”

  Yes, I want to watch you freeze to death. How naïve are you? “No. But we need to start walking before I’m no longer able to feel my legs.”

  Anyone watching them would think they were embittered sisters or cousins marching down the busy sidewalk, from the way Reina kept a decisive, stiff lead and Aiko struggled to follow and not get lost between oncoming bicycles and people with large shopping bags. As they rounded a couple corners and headed down an innocuous alley, Aiko’s voice popped up in the back of Reina’s hearing like a drowning girl desperate for air.

  “Are we going to Ni-chome?”

  Reina looked over her shoulder. “It’ll be good for you.”

  “Eh?”

  Now Aiko had caught up beside Reina, although she fought to keep stride. “Well, you’re not much good for flirting.”

  Aiko stopped just as they passed a man hanging a rainbow flag outside a bar – she caught up again when Reina continued down the freezing street.

  If she’s serious about this, she’ll follow. That’s all Reina could tell herself in the end, as she watched Aiko cover her mouth at the sight of two men kissing in an alley and gasped at a closed nightclub offering “Every Size For Every Lady,” accompanied with a picture of a woman in a strap-on. If she doesn’t have a heart attack first.

  Aiko probably assumed Reina was taking her to one of these scandalous locations, but in reality, La Lune Café was an average café with an average clientele – assuming someone considered women wearing men’s clothing and flirting with each other over coffee as “average.” Reina took Aiko’s icy hand and pulled her through the restaurant’s front door, where multiple chugging space heaters awaited.

  Reina inhaled the warm air and shook off her constricting jacket. “Ah, Yamada!” A server wearing a short T-shirt and jeans emerged from behind a counter with a pitcher of water. “It’s been a while! Who’s this?”

  Stepping out of the way, Reina introduced Aiko as a “friend.” The two strangers bowed their heads and exchanged their “nice to meet you”s before the server gestured for them to sit anywhere. For the noontime hour, La Lune Café was moderately seated, mostly single women in business suits and couples having quiet conversations. To Reina it was all normal, but to somebody like Aiko, the heavyset woman with multiple piercings giving her skinny girlfriend a kiss and not-so-quietly suggesting they go get a “love hotel” room may have been new.

  “What have you been up to, Yamada?” the server asked as Reina and Aiko sat in the far corner by the window. She poured them water and laid menus on their table. “I haven’t seen you since you were with that that Brazilian girl with the cross tattoo. What happened to her?”

  Reina winced. The “Brazilian girl” had been fun for a romp or two, but then her brothers found out and sent a clear message about what would happen to “damn dykes” if they caught them together again. Seeing as how both brothers bounced in neighboring Kabuki-cho and their sister waited tables at a local family restaurant…Reina missed its excellent drink bar.

  “It didn’t work out,” she said. “Too high maintenance.”

  The server smiled. Reina wished she remembered her name. At any rate, she remembered how she sounded when she came against a leather couch like she had three months before. If she screamed any louder we would have both been in big trouble. Great. She could remember that but not the damn girl’s name.

  “Just call me when you’ve decided.”

  Reina picked up a menu. Aiko sat on the other side of the table, bemused. “Nee,” she said, “is your family name ‘Yamada?’”

  “Uh, yes.” Reina couldn’t decide between getting an egg-salad sandwich or spinach salad.

  “Oh. I didn’t know your family name until now.”

  “It’s nothing special.” Last Reina checked, “Yamada” was one of the most used names in Japan.

  Aiko didn’t reply, and hid her embarrassment behind the menu.

  After hailing the server damnit what is her name, Reina ordered the salad and insisted on Aiko getting the same when the girl feigned ignorance. The server flirted with Reina one more time and left, giggling.

  Reina caught the worried look on Aiko’s face. “You probably think I’m a baita, huh.”

  That word, synonymous with a sexually lackadaisical woman like Reina, made Aiko drop her mouth. “N…no! I would never think that!”

  “It’s okay. I probably am.”

  “No!”

  “No?” Reina chuckled. “What if I told you I’ve had sex with half the women in this place?”

  Aiko’s chest stiffened and her eyes darted around the room. Reina looked too, recognizing enough of the other women as those she had once dallied with on some occasion or another. The dark skinned business woman who could do a perfect split, the university student who mimicked every fashion bedecking Madonna, and even the Chinese expat who once taught Reina how to say the dirtiest things in Mandarin while they rutted in the corner of a nightclub. All three were alone, reading, eating, and staring out windows as Reina ventured for another conquest behind them.

  “Well,” Aiko finally said, “I think that’s your business.”

  “Hmph.” Reina pulled a pack of cigarettes from her jacket pocket and patted her hand against the bottom of the package. “You take everything in stride so well.” She pulled out a cigarette and handed it across the table. “Smoke?”

  Aiko shuddered. “No thank you. I don’t smoke, remember?”

  “Not really.” Rein
a lit the cigarette.

  “Oh.”

  “It’s not personal. It’s just…maybe my memory isn’t so good on some things.” I don’t remember anything about anyone.

  A nod. They sat in silence until the server returned with their spinach salads, commenting on Reina’s “distinguished” tastes in cigarette brands. Next thing she knew she flirted back, teasing the server about her new belt. Reina touched the rhinestones just above the server’s pelvis.

  When she walked away, still giggling, Reina cleared her throat and extinguished her cigarette so she could eat. She stuffed a spinach leaf in her mouth and started chomping until she realized Aiko hadn’t touched her food at all.

  “What’s wrong with you? Feeling sick?”

  Aiko looked up, her lips turned inward. “Do you normally flirt with other women when you’re on a date?”

  Why the fuck wouldn’t I? “Yeah. Problem?”

  “That’s not…very courteous. I would never tolerate that from a man I was dating.”

  “Well, I’m not a man. And it’s part of who I am.” Not flirt? The hell is that? “I see a pretty girl? I flirt with her. A pretty girl flirts with me? Odds are I’m having sex with her thereafter. If you don’t like it, I guess this will be our last date, because I have no intention of changing for anyone.”

  Aiko stabbed spinach leaves. “Are you dating other girls besides me?”

  “Dating?” Reina shrugged. “No. Not currently.”

  “Currently?” Aiko’s cheeks sagged more.

  “Actually, I haven’t ‘dated’ somebody in a long time.” Reina remembered her: a small town girl recently transplanted to Tokyo, who thought Reina a “perfect gentleman” and laughed a lot in bed. But she ended up quitting her university and moving back to her small town in Yamaguchi Prefecture, half a nation away.

  “You seem so popular with women.”

  She hasn’t actually seen me in action yet. “I’ve told you. I sleep around a lot. I like sex. But that’s not the same as dating somebody. Wouldn’t you say?”

  “I suppose.” Aiko stuffed some spinach in her mouth.

  “To me dating somebody means I’m taking a bigger interest in them than just sex. I can have sex with just about anybody, but can only date a few women.”