“But you do like him, silly. He’s your best friend, isn’t he?”
“Yeah, but I don’t swing that way. Too bad for him, huh?” He dipped her then, and her heart sank.
I don’t swing that way.
The little butterflies and tingles of happiness she’d been feeling because of this man started to disappear. No matter how wonderful the evening seemed to be going, she could never forget her past, and it was wrong to keep it from Callum.
He gazed at her intently, holding her in his arms tightly so she wouldn’t fall. The heat in his eyes made her blood boil and she quickly licked her lips as he inched in.
Closer. Closer.
It would be her first kiss.
Closer.
“Wait.”
She was surprised when the word slid past her lips, but she was also relieved when Callum straightened back up and gazed at her questioningly.
“What’s wrong?” He asked, his voice soft and husky. “Did I read the signs wrong? I’m sorry, Lydia. I thought...”
“No, it’s not that. I want you to, trust me.” She pursed her lips together and frowned. “But if you ever truly want to kiss me...I’d rather you do it after getting to know me.”
“Well, we got all the time in the world for that.” He smiled. “I look forward to getting to know you.”
Oh, please. You’re killing me.
“That’s just it. I won’t be here for much longer. I’m leaving tomorrow.”
His smile slowly faded and it gutted her. He seemed genuinely disappointed about her impending departure and at any other time, she would have been thrilled that a man would miss her, but he didn’t know her at all.
“Besides,” she took a step away from him, immediately missing his closeness. “I’m not who you think I am. I mean, I am...but...it’s complicated.”
“Lydia, I don’t care who you are or what you used to be. I think you’re wonderful.”
She really wanted to believe him.
“Thank you.” Her throat began to tighten. In spite of how wonderfully drunk she felt, there would always be that weight of truth ruining her buzz.
It’s now or never. Just tell him!
“I wasn’t born a girl, Callum.”
His eyebrows lifted slowly.
“I was born a boy.” She pushed on, feeling a little braver with each passing second. “But I’ve always been a girl in here.” She placed a hand over her heart. “And in here.” She touched her fingertips to the side of her head. “I’ve always been Lydia.”
He took a step away from her and she began to panic.
“Please hear me out, Callum. I...please.” Her chest felt too tight. She felt sick. “I really like you and I want to get to know you, but I wanted you to know the truth before anything else happens...if it happens. Oh God.”
The bile in her throat was rising. She was going to throw up. Before she could utter an apology, it happened.
All. Over. The. Floor.
“Whoa, Lyds. You okay?” Jeb asked from somewhere in the distance.
She felt weak. Her legs really were going to give out on her this time. Lifting her eyes to meet Callum’s, she tried to tell him how sorry she was.
Please give me a chance. She wanted to say. I’m still the girl you like.
But darkness consumed her and the world disappeared.
“You idiot.” She whispered, willing the memory to disappear. “You screwed up everything.”
How the hell was she supposed to face Callum after that? He knew the truth and no matter what Jeb said, no man in Prairie Town would ever be accepting of her past life. No man would treat her like a real woman in this stupid town.
“I have to get out of here.” She said hoarsely. “I gotta go back to Vermont.”
Scrambling to get dressed, Lydia stormed out of the bathroom and headed back to the closet. Thank goodness Jeb wasn’t in the room anymore. Maybe he had left, too. Maybe she could get away with this without any interruptions.
It would be easier to leave without seeing the hurt in their eyes, right?
Once she was packed, she carried her suitcase down the stairs, telling herself this was the best option, over and over again.
No more Callum. That was dangerous.
No more Mama. Good riddance.
No more Jeb, Laney, or Dad. Not so great, but they would have to understand.
Prairie town wasn’t big enough for her. She had to get out of the cage again. She was a beautiful bird. Beautiful birds had to fly.
“I can do this.” She whispered, stepping off the last step just as the front door swung open. She froze when she saw her mother.
“Good, you’re awake.” She nodded, stepping inside. “The lawyer is here now. We’ll be meeting in the kitchen in ten minutes.”
“Lawyer?” Lydia asked in confusion. “What meeting?”
“Oh, yeah.” Jeb waltzed into the living room and leaned against the grandfather clock, grinning. “It’s Gran’s lawyer. Didn’t I tell you?”
“No.” Her ears caught fire. Damn him. He knew she was going to run. And he knew she couldn’t now. Damn him!
“My bad.” He shrugged, following after their mother.
Laney appeared behind her on the stairs, hugging her arms around her.
“I’m sorry.” She whispered. “Can we still have a sister’s day after the meeting?”
Damn it to hell. Lydia groaned inwardly and let her suitcase fall from her grasp. It hit with a heavy thud just as her heart fell into her stomach.
“Of course we can, Laney.” She replied, finally giving in.
Her drastic exit from Prairie Town would just have to wait.
Chapter Six
Callum
Standing on the back porch of his parents’ house, Callum rested his elbows against the rail and peered out at the calm waters of the river that ran along the edge of their land. Out of all the places they had ever lived, he liked Prairie Town best of all. It was peaceful, serene, and he’d met Jeb.
Raised as an army brat, he hadn’t necessarily had the opportunity to make many friends as a kid. No one wanted to make plans with the boy who might up and disappear without notice. No one wanted to invite him to birthday parties because they didn’t get the opportunity to become better acquainted with him—and that had been his sole concern with Lydia.
He’d desperately wanted to get to know her. But after what happened the night before, he wasn’t so sure.
Meeting Jeb’s beautiful cousin had, so far, been the highlight of his summer. She was sweet, funny, and there was just something different about her that appealed to him.
And now he knew what it was.
“I was born a boy.” She’d said.
He’d almost kissed her.
Bowing his head and closing his eyes, he willed his thoughts to slow down. There were too many and most of them involved her.
The most confusing part of it all was the fact he wasn’t sure he was bothered by the ‘I used to be a boy’ business.
Never had he believed in love at first sight until his eyes fell upon her.
Never had he believed in what love songs were all about until his ears heard her voice.
And now any chance he’d had with her was gone within the blink of an eye.
Life definitely wasn’t fair.
Tugging his cellphone from his pocket, he scrolled through his messages. They were all from Jeb. Some of them were angry while others screamed desperation, and he tried to understand.
J-Dog: This doesn’t change anything, k?
J-Dog: She is a wonderful girl. Yes, A GIRL. Give her a chance.
J-Dog: If you don’t text me back I S2G.
J-Dog: Don’t hurt her like this. I know it’s a lot to take in but imagine how she feels.
J-Dog: Text me back or you’re getting an ass-whooping.
J-Dog: Please call me?
He knew his friend meant well. If the situation was somehow flipped and he had a sister who used to be a brother, he�
�d probably react the same way. Jeb was only trying to be a good brother.
But what if Lydia didn’t even want to see him? She’d gotten so nervous after letting her secret slip out and then she threw up. He didn’t get a chance to discuss it with her, and she seemed so adamant on leaving...
His phone vibrated in his palm and it was another text message from Jeb.
J-Dog: I need my drinking buddy tonight. You game?
Rolling his eyes, Callum snickered. When had he ever denied Jeb the pleasure of his company whilst getting completely hammered?
He typed a quick reply to let Jeb know he was in and then he tucked his phone into his pocket again, lifting his eyes towards the afternoon sky.
He’d sent her flowers. He wasn’t sure what kind of flowers she liked, but the lilies looked really pretty and he hoped she’d like them. Didn’t girls like flowers?
And yes, he was referring to her as a girl because that’s what she was—it’s all he knew her as. Perhaps it would have been different had he ever met her as a guy, but as fate would have it, he met Lydia. Beautiful, gorgeous, sweet, smells-like-the-epitome-of-summer Lydia.
If only they could have a chance to talk about it before she decided to skip town.
If only he could convince her to stay for a little while.
—————
Lydia
This isn’t happening.
Lydia kept telling herself that over and over again, re-reading the bright pink piece of paper that was undeniably from her Gran’s stationary. The words on that stupid piece of dead tree couldn’t be real. Nope.
“Here we go!” Laney said excitedly, returning to their booth with two large milkshakes in tow. They decided to stop off at the local ice cream joint for a quick cool-down, but truth be told, Lydia needed a freaking Long Island Iced Tea if she was going to let off steam.
“It’s a joke, right?” Lydia mumbled, not even bothering to take a drink of the strawberry goodness placed in front of her. She gripped the paper so hard her knuckles turned white and closed her eyes. “She has a sick sense of humor.”
“Oh, it’s real.” Laney insisted. The shit-eating grin on her face was becoming annoying—and fast. “Isn’t it great though? We have so much planning to do!”
Lydia stared at her as if she had a third eye growing in the center of her forehead.
“I don’t want to plan.” She replied. “I want to go back to Vermont. I have a life there, you know. I’ve got things to do.”
“Oh, please. You can do the same things here.” Laney tapped a finger against the tabletop, slurping at her straw noisily. “All of your stuff is mostly online, right?”
“Not the events!” She wailed. “Not the parades. Not the canned food drives. I can’t do that online, Laney. This is some serious bullshit and I demand a reprieve...or something. I want a do-over.”
“Can you actually get a do-over from a will?” Laney asked thoughtfully.
“Hell if I know.” She felt like pouting, and may have done so as she slouched down in her seat and huffed. “I can’t believe she’s doing this to me. It can’t be real.”
“Uh huh.” Laney reached across the table and plucked the paper from her hand, reading over it with that same shit-eating grin. “To my dearest Lydia...”
Ugh. Here we go again. As if she hadn’t read it enough.
“I must inform you that by the time you read this, the house will be sold and your belongings are on their way to Prairie Town. Do not worry about finances because you’re taken care of just like your brother and sister. However, unlike your brother and sister, you must do something for me in order to obtain the money I’m leaving to you.”
Bullshit! She rolled her eyes.
“You must stay in Prairie Town for six months. Give it a chance to grow on you. I know you are used to traveling with me, but if you’re reading this then you know I have made my final trip and you cannot join me. I want you to live, my sweet bird.” Laney sniffed and wiped at her eyes, glancing up at her. “This is beautiful. Gran had a way with words, didn’t she?”
“Oh, please.” Lydia scowled.
Shrugging her shoulders and ignoring her reply, Laney read on.
“Try to find happiness, Lydia. Your appearance may be just as you want it now, but there is something missing inside you. Try to find it while you’re in Prairie Town. If you don’t find it when the sixth month is up and you wish to move back to Vermont, you may do so. The money will be made available to you on December thirty-first and not a day sooner. I love you, beautiful bird. Take care. Love Gran.”
It was the most absurd thing she’d ever heard in her life. How could her Gran do this to her? She sold the house? She’d shipped off her belongings? How did she get away with it? Surely there was a law against it...somewhere.
“This isn’t happening.” She repeated weakly, burying her face into her hands. “I can’t stay here for six months.”
“Sure you can! I’ll help you find an apartment and a roommate.” Laney laughed. “And since Gran has already given me my inheritance, I’ll pay the deposit, too!”
“You are way too excited about this.” Lydia lifted her head to peer at her, feeling more defeated now than ever before. How the hell would she survive Prairie Town for six months? What if she had to face Callum? What would she do for work?
“Of course I am. I get six extra months with you. That’s...”—she stuck her tongue out in thought—“over one hundred and eighty days we get to spend together!”
“How the hell did you add that up so fast?” Lydia stared at her in awe. “I didn’t even know you were good at math.”
“Well, you’d know a lot of things if you came around more often.” Laney retorted.
Ouch. She had a point.
“Okay, so a hundred and eighty days doesn’t sound so bad. Maybe.”
“It will be awesome. And wonderful.” Laney insisted, reaching out to grab her hand and holding it tightly within her own. “We’ll have a chance to actually be sisters, Lydia. It’ll be so much fun. You and me,”—she sniffled again—“don’t you want that?”
“Of course I do.” She rested her other hand atop her sister’s, smiling gently. “I just...I’m scared, Laney. What if people find out the truth? Prairie Town isn’t anything like Vermont.”
“But it could be. Just give it a chance. They could fall in love with you so easily if you’d just let it happen. And then if they found out the truth, it wouldn’t matter. You wouldn’t have to hide anymore, Lyds. Aren’t you tired of hiding?”
“Yes.” More than anything, she was tired of hiding. She was tired of being scared. All she wanted was to live happily and openly...and maybe fall in love.
“Then let’s go apartment hunting tomorrow. Pleeeease?”
Mulling it over for a few moments, Lydia finally nodded. It was hesitant, but it was still a nod. Perhaps she could make the best of her Gran’s request. Maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as she thought.
“Okay, fine. But I get the bigger bedroom.”
Chapter Seven
A week flew by before Lydia knew it, and it wasn’t exactly thrilling. Somehow the moving truck with her belongings had gotten lost and it took them three days to finally make it into Prairie Town. The apartment hunt was agonizing, but Laney did her best to make it fun. They browsed several different options before finally settling on a cozy two-bedroom just on the outskirts of town. It was far enough away from the city to avoid the loud noises of Saturday night, but close enough to walk to work once she actually became employed.
Her mother wasn’t happy that she was sticking around, but in a way it pleased Lydia to know she was finally doing something that justified her agitation.
Jeb hardly left her side. Even after they got moved into the apartment, he visited religiously, stayed late, and returned early in the morning—unless he was working. She didn’t mind though; it was nice to have him around, plus he helped carry Laney’s ridiculously heavy bookshelves.
“Damn it, La
ney. I ain’t moving that thing again.” Jeb grumbled as he plopped down on the couch and wiped sweat from his brow. “You are working me like a dagone slave driver. Cut me a break, huh?”
“Well, excuse me for having a love for literature!” Laney whirled about and disappeared into her room, kicking the door shut.
“Brat.” He muttered.
“Is it always like this with you two?” Lydia asked, taking a sip of her lemonade. “Do you want some?”
“Yes, please.” He nodded, releasing a low breath. “And yeah. She’s real bossy. Are you sure you don’t want to rethink this whole roommate situation? I’d make a better roommate than her.”
“Don’t you already have your own place?” She smiled, getting up from her seat and moving into the kitchen.
It was such a beautiful layout. The open spaced kitchen and living room connected, allowing conversations to continue without interruption—or, in Lydia’s case, allowing beloved TV shows to be watched while dining.
“I do, and you still need to come see it. I reckon you got time to do that now.” He released a low whistle. “Six whole months.”
“Don’t remind me.” She groaned, pouring a glass of lemonade and rolling her eyes. “I’m marking the days off as we go, you know.”
“It can’t be that bad, Lyds. I mean, honestly, has anyone been mean to you yet?”
No. No one had been mean to her. When she went to the grocery store with Laney to buy up enough food to last them a month, everyone there had been very polite and friendly. A man held the door open for her and another offered to put away her groceries. They were all so nice. It was different from what she remembered—she was different.
“Not yet.” She replied, re-entering the living room and holding the glass out for him to take. “Yet is the key word.”
“You’re just wishing something bad will happen so you have an excuse to leave.” He eyed her, accepting the glass. “I’ve got you figured out, Missy. But it won’t be that easy. Gran said you couldn’t leave until time is up.”
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