“And hopefully it’ll fly by.”
“I hope it doesn’t.”
“Don’t be a jerk.”
“Don’t be so pessimistic.”
“That’s a mighty big word for you, Jebson. Did you learn that on the back of a cereal box or something?”
“I learned it from the dictionary. Look it up and there’s a picture of you beneath it.”
“Haha. Very funny.”
“I’m being serious.” His playful grin faded as he placed his glass on the coffee table—which she immediately corrected by putting a coaster beneath—and his eyes met hers. “I don’t want you to leave. Just give us a chance here, huh? We may not be fancy like what you’re used to, but we’re your family. We have to look out for each other.”
“I can take care of myself.” Her voice sounded harsher than she intended. Hugging her arms around herself, she eased back down into her seat and gazed at the floor.
Why did he keep pushing it?
“Yeah, I know. Girl power and all of that,” he laughed sadly. “But we need you here, you know? Dad ain’t getting any younger.”
Her gaze snapped back to his. “What do you mean by that?”
“It’s just what I said. He’s not getting any younger and neither is Mama—I know you don’t care so much about her, but—”
“Of course I care about her!” Whoa. Where was the sudden anger coming from? Lydia clamped a hand over her mouth, feeling awful for yelling at him, and squeezed her eyes shut. “I’m sorry...”
“No, I probably deserved that.” Jeb stood from his seat, towering over her like the mountain he was, and sighed. “I don’t know what goes through that head of yours, Lyds, but for once I wish you’d stop and listen to your heart. Doesn’t it break...even just a little bit? Don’t you ever miss us and wish you could be closer?”
“Of course I do.” Dropping her hands to her sides, she tilted her head back to stare at him. God, he really had grown up in her absence. Gone was the playful, messy-haired boy she remembered. In his place stood a kind-hearted man. “I miss you more than you’ll ever know, Jeb. But you seem to forget the living hell I went through while I lived here.”
“That’s changed.” He insisted. “Lydia, back then you were a boy wearing girl clothes. You played with Barbie dolls instead of the Hot Wheels our parents bought you on your birthday. You tried to give Valentine’s cards to other boys...”
“Stop.” Her voice trembled. “Just stop, Jeb. I haven’t forgotten any of that.”
The mental dam she had built in her mind suddenly collapsed and the memories of her childhood flooded her mind.
She didn’t like to think about it too much; the life she once led as an imposter. Being forced to use the boy’s bathroom and to wear clothes that made her terribly uncomfortable were things she wanted to forget, but those images in her mind would never fully go away. No matter how much she disliked it, Jonathan McIntosh would always be a part of her memories.
Unfortunately, so would the mental video reel of being bullied, punched, laughed at, and relentlessly tortured by her classmates.
“Lydia, please.”
Jeb was suddenly kneeling before her, his hands grasping hers gently. The moisture in his eyes proved that even the strongest of men were capable of crying. He looked so much like their father and she briefly imagined the McIntosh Patriarch in tears because of her.
“Not everybody gets a chance to hit the restart button—you did. Look how beautiful you are.” He swallowed hard and she watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down. He was struggling with his emotions. She was, too. “We can do this, you know? We can pull it off. Prairie Town doesn’t even remember Jonny McIntosh, but they’ll never forget you.”
“I’m scared.” She admitted, squeezing his hands. “When people find out the truth about people like me...they aren’t kind. Bad things happen. I could be killed.”
She’d read the horror stories. Transwomen had been slaughtered in the past when lovers found out the truth. Post-op, pre-op, what did it matter? The hate that lived in the hearts of men often led to cold-blooded murder. Lydia wasn’t interested in joining the statistic. Her bullies were grown now and capable of more damage. She was safer in Vermont.
“I won’t let anybody hurt you.” Jeb promised. “Blood is thicker than water and I’d shed every ounce of it if it meant saving your life.”
Upon hearing those words, she broke down. The tears began to fall and she couldn’t stop them. His strong arms wrapped around her in a comforting embrace.
“I mean it, Lydia. I won’t let anybody do anything to you. I couldn’t protect you when you were so far away...”
And that only made her cry harder.
“What on earth is going on in here?” Laney asked as she swung open her bedroom door. “What did you do to her, you moron?”
“Nothing.” Lydia sobbed, lifting her head to stare at her. “I’m fine, I swear.”
“Oh. Well, okay then. I don’t mean to interrupt your little cry-fest, but I thought you’d want to know I just spotted Callum on the street. He’s headed this way.”
“What? He’s coming here?” Lydia pulled away from Jeb and immediately shot up from the couch. Her hands flew to her hair. “Oh my god. I look awful. Why is he coming here?”
She hadn’t seen Callum since that night at the bar. He had no reason to be visiting her. Maybe he was coming to see Jeb. Yes, that had to be it.
“Are you sure it’s him?”
“Oh, it’s him.” Laney smirked, leaning against the doorframe. If Lydia didn’t know any better, she would have thought Laney enjoyed watching her panic. Bitch.
“Stall him!” She shrieked, making a mad dash for her bedroom.
“How do you want me to do that?” Jeb called after her.
“Tell him I’m not here!”
“But you are here.” Laney and Jeb said in unison.
“Lie!” She all but screamed, slamming the bedroom door.
Oh, god. This isn’t happening. Lydia thought as she paced back and forth in the safety of her bedroom.
“Why is he here?” It made sense that he was coming to visit his friend, but couldn’t he visit Jeb later? When Jeb was at his own place?
“Don’t be stupid, Lydia. He practically lives here now.” She resisted the urge to smack her forehead. “Oh, what am I going to do?”
She was too busy racking her brain for a solution to hear the knock on the front door, but when she heard her brother’s way-too-cheerful greeting her knees turned into jelly.
Callum is in my apartment. Her stomach twisted into nervous knots. Is he really here to see Jeb or is he here to see me?
What a glorious thought that was: Callum completely overlooking her past and accepting her for her present and future. She’d give anything if that were the case, but what if he really did only drop by to check in on his best friend?
“Don’t get your hopes up.” She whispered, gazing at her reflection through the new vanity mirror she’d purchased only days before. “You can’t be disappointed if you don’t get your hopes up.”
Sound advice. She nodded confidently. Gran would have said the same thing.
Except that wasn’t entirely true. Her Gran would have told her to snag him up before someone else did.
“If only I had her confidence.”
“Lyds?” Jeb knocked on her door and slowly cracked it open. “We’ve got company.”
“I told you to tell him I wasn’t here!” Why couldn’t brothers follow simple instructions?
“Uh, well,” Jeb blinked. “It’s not Callum.”
“But I thought Laney said she saw him.” Her heart sank with disappointment. It was so stupid to be excited about seeing him in the first place.
“Well, she did. And he’s here, but...”
“But what? I’m confused.”
“You and me both.” He pushed the door further open and stepped inside, glancing back into the living room nervously. “It’s Mama.”
�
��Mama?” Her jaw nearly hit the floor. “Here? Why?”
“I don’t know, Lydia.” He groaned and dropped his head in surrender. “She’s just here and she’ll get upset if you don’t come out to say hi. You know how she is about manners and all that.”
“She’s probably here for Laney.” She tried to hide the hurt in her voice. Why did it hurt anyway? Why did she care if her mother came to see her or not?
“Well, even if that’s the case, I think you still need to find your hostess manners and come offer her a drink or something.”
Wrinkling her nose, Lydia muttered something about poison and sighed.
“Fine. I’ll be out in minute.”
“Okay. Hey, Lydia?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t change your clothes or anything. You look beautiful. Callum’s already hooked.”
“W-what?” Her cheeks were on fire. Again.
“You heard me.” Jeb grinned. “You think he came all this way to see me?”
“Kind of.”
“Well, think again, Sis. He specifically dropped by just for you.”
After he closed the door, she whirled around and pressed a palm against her chest. Her heart wasn’t going to slow down anytime soon.
“You’ve got this.” She whispered, pacing her breathing. “You can do it.”
On one hand, she had to go greet the dragon, but on the other, there was a handsome prince waiting to see her, too. She could grin and bear it with her mother if it meant she could see Callum, right?
She’d sure give it her best shot.
Finally gathering her courage, Lydia opened her bedroom door and stepped into the short hallway that led into the living room. She could hear Jeb laughing and then—oh God—she heard Callum’s beautiful, sexy belly laugh.
It’s stupid for a laugh to be so sexy. She thought, nibbling her lower lip gently. Just act casual. Don’t be an idiot.
Yet it was easier said than done as she joined her brother, sister, Mr. Hunky, and Mrs. McIntosh in the living room. It was easy to see her mother felt incredibly out of place. She was gripping her purse between her hands so tightly that her knuckles had turned white and the smile she had on display was forced.
“There you are!” Laney said excitedly, wrapping her arms around Lydia’s neck. “We’ve got company! Our first real visitors.”
“Hey now,” Jeb sulked. “That’s not nice.”
“Hi, Mama.” Lydia said cautiously. “What brings you by?”
“Can’t a mother check on her children?” Mrs. McIntosh responded, but her eyes only moved from Jeb to Laney—Lydia would have been a fool to think her mother included her in that question. “I was out in town and thought I would stop by to see how things are coming along. Do you need anything else, Laney? I have some extra dish towels I can bring.”
“I’m fine, Mama.” Laney replied. “But Lydia does need some more kitchenware. Gran didn’t seem to keep much at their place.”
Lydia winced. Bringing up Gran so soon, and bringing up the fact the kitchenware would be for her, wasn’t good.
Mrs. McIntosh stared at Laney with wide, angry eyes, but she refrained from saying anything. It was probably because Callum was there.
Thank God. Lydia wiggled out of her sister’s grasp and smiled at Mr. Hunky then, her heart fluttering with pure happiness. It was nice to see him again, and he looked so handsome. His thick, light brown hair was combed to the side and the red flannel shirt he was wearing hugged his muscles in all the right ways. Her skin tingled with pleasure at the thought of running her fingertips over his arms.
“What brings you around?” She asked, hoping and praying they could change the topic before her mother had a chance to rant.
“I honestly stopped in to call on Mrs. McIntosh’s daughter.” Callum grinned, glancing at the matriarch. “Would you be all right with me taking her out for a little while tonight?”
Her heart stopped and she glanced at Laney in total surprise. What?
“Laney?” Mrs. McIntosh squeaked. “I thought you were seeing Devin!” She said angrily. “You’re two-timing him?”
Laney threw her hands up in the air in defense. “Don’t look at me. I’m not prepared to go on any dates tonight.”
Lydia’s face burst into flames when every set of eyes in the room landed on her. Her mother gasped loudly and clamped a hand over her mouth. Her eyes were about to bug out of her head. She realized what was going on around the same time Lydia did.
Peering back at Callum in disbelief, she tilted her head, unsure if he meant what she thought he meant. He couldn’t possibly mean her, could he?
“Miss Lydia.” He pulled a single pink rose from behind his back, grinning from ear to ear. “May I have a few hours of your time tonight?”
You can have all the hours of every day. She thought, glancing at her mother nervously.
She would undoubtedly have to deal with the repercussions tomorrow, but for now, she was more than willing to take whatever consequences came her way if it meant she could spend time with Callum.
Sexy Callum.
Sweet Callum.
Forbidden Callum.
“Yes,” she said breathlessly. “I’d love that.”
“Good.” He grinned, offering his arm to her. “I’ll have her back here by midnight, ma’am.” He nodded to Mrs. McIntosh.
And just like a scene out of a romantic movie, he guided her out of the apartment and away from the wicked dragon.
Could he possibly be her happily ever after?
Chapter Eight
Callum
As the tahoe rolled to a stop, he turned his head to gaze at Lydia. She was so quiet in the passenger seat, nervously toying with the silver bracelet on her wrist. Her anxiousness made him feel fidgety, too.
Licking his lips, he grinned and cleared his throat, hoping to catch her attention. When those light green eyes met his, his heart began to pound.
No woman had ever quite had such an effect on him before.
“Why did you do that?” She asked softly.
“Why did I do what?” Resting his hand lazily across the steering wheel, he smiled. He didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable. The truth was, he didn’t feel uncomfortable around her. He’d had plenty of time to think about it and the only conclusion he could come to was the fact he wanted to know her. Whatever her past was, it didn’t matter.
“That,” she replied. “You came to my apartment while my mother was there, and there’s no doubt that poor woman will need to change her pants now. She probably shit herself in surprise.”
He chuckled at the thought. Mrs. McIntosh looked as if she could run right through him when she realized his intentions, but he didn’t care.
“Oh, that.” He shook his head slowly, glancing out over the surface of the water. Bringing Lydia to the old watering hole wasn’t the most romantic thing, but at least they were guaranteed some privacy. The summer heat was scorching, but the local kids refused to use the lake because of rumored piranhas—poor gullible souls.
“You didn’t have to do that.” Lydia whispered.
“I don’t have to do a lot of things,” he replied. “But I wanted to do this. I wanted a few minutes just to talk. Is that okay with you?”
“Of course it’s okay with me.” She rolled her eyes, smiling sheepishly. “I just...don’t get it.”
“What’s there to get? Boy meets girl. Boy likes girl. Boy doesn’t give a damn what anybody else thinks.” He shrugged his masculine shoulders and felt relieved when he saw the broad smile crossing her lips.
“How can you be so okay with it?”
Gazing at her thoughtfully, Callum offered the warmest smile he could muster. Reaching over to grasp her hand, he felt her tremble. It was easy to see she wasn’t accustomed to receiving such affections.
He wanted to be the man to change that.
“How can you not be okay with it, Lydia?”
Her mouth fell open and she pulled her hand away from his. “How dare you
ask me such a thing? Of course I’m okay with it. I love me. This is what I’ve always wanted. Why would you ask me that?”
“Hey, calm down.” He reached for her hand again, an apology evident in his voice. “Maybe I should have worded that differently. How about this? Does this make you uncomfortable because so many others aren’t okay with it?”
“Sort of.”
He quirked an eyebrow.
“Okay, a lot. Comfort has nothing to do with it. I’m angry that people can’t accept me. I’m human. I bleed the same way they do. I have feelings. There’s nothing wrong with me.”
“No, there isn’t.” He agreed.
“—And you just handle it so easily. Like, there may be six people in my life who have never judged me: my dad, Laney, Jebson, my Gran, my friend Ags—”
“Ags?”
“Yes, my friend Ags, or Agatha. It really depends on the day. I met her when I was sixteen.”
“Ags is a nice name. It’s gender-neutral. Clever.”
“See!” Lydia exclaimed, smacking her hands against the dashboard. “You are unnervingly casual about this. It weirds me out.”
“I thought unnervingly casual would be a good thing.” He frowned. “Why does it weird you out so much? Am I really any different than Laney or Jeb?”
“A whole lot different. I don’t want to make out with Jeb or Laney.”
“Oh yeah?” He smirked. “You want to make out with me?”
It was damn cute the way her face turned red.
“Anyway.” She cleared her throat and placed her hands in her lap. “Laney, Jeb, Gran, Ags, and Benji—he’s a trans man—are the only people I’ve ever allowed myself to get close to. It’s not easy for me.”
“Okay,” he replied slowly. “So you say there are only six people in this whole wide world who have never judged you, right?”
“Right.”
“Well.” He shifted in his seat, turning to face her. Resting one of his hands atop both of hers, he grinned. “Why don’t you try making that seven?”
“It’s not that simple.” She pulled her hands from beneath his and began running her fingers through her hair. She was nervous. He could understand that. He didn’t want her to be nervous around him, but she really didn’t know him from Adam.
180 Days Page 6