Key Manatee

by Robert Tacoma

  “TB, I need your help.”

  “You got it, Jimmy. So long as you aren’t needing a partner for racketball this afternoon.” He gave up a small smile. Something was up.

  “A few days ago Slip said someone had been on your boat, looking for something.” Makes sense Slip would tell Jimmy to keep an eye out. I nodded, but didn’t say anything. “Then there’s a body on your fishing boat. Your flashlight the murder weapon.”

  “Yeah, we put that together. Someone going to a lot of trouble to get me arrested.”

  He got up and paced some, peeked out the window. He looked like a man with a lot on his mind. When he’d said he wanted to talk I figured women problems, that or he had a mostly-legal business proposition. I was wrong.

  “Taco, how much do you know about Blue Manatee?”

  “Not a whole lot, some. Looks like they’re going to bring some big changes to this town and I reckon some folks aren’t too happy about it.”

  “Yeah, big changes.” He sat there looking at his hands for a minute. I didn’t mind the break, I had another wave of fever nausea to deal with right then anyway. “There’s more going on here than people know.” He appeared to be having trouble getting something out, so I tried to keep things moving.

  “You said you needed my help.” He looked up and seemed to come to a decision.

  “Yeah, I do. You see, Blue Manatee is actually run by an outfit called DDT.” I didn’t want to be rude, but my fevered mind craved rest and another visit from the blond care-giver I had only recently acquired a better appreciation for.

  “Jimmy, I kinda know a lot of that already, more maybe than I’d like to know, in fact.” We locked eyes. “I know who’s behind DDT.” This got his attention, especially when I put my hands on my head to make mouse ears. He smiled his first real smile.

  “Ah, great! Well, then you might know then that other than being a laid-back lounge singer who’s popular with the ladies and lives on a sailboat that I’m also a federal agent.” He handed over an ID card with a star on it.

  “Uh, no. Can’t say I knew that right off. Nice ID, looks real.” My feverish brain was having trouble with this.

  “Oh, it’s real. Remember how I went to California for that record deal?”

  “You got signed and the record guy got arrested?”

  “Yeah, but he was in jail before I got the money. I didn’t get a dime.” He shrugged. “One of the feds on that case knew someone who was hiring for the NSA. Since I didn’t even have money to get back to Key West I went to the interview and after a few weeks of training came back here. I’ve been on Uncle Sam’s nickel since.”

  “That might explain why a boat bum has such a nice wardrobe.” He lit up a big smile this time.

  “I wondered if you might be curious about that.”

  “A little. What does NSA stand for? You some kind of spy?”

  “In my case it stands for No Such Agency. Of course you can’t let this leave the room.” The serious looks were back. I pointed towards the door where my friend had gone. “No, not even them. We’ll just say I had a shaky business proposition for you.”

  “Which might be the truth since you never did tell me what kind of help you need.”

  “A couple of things, actually. One – I need to get on Grizzel’s boat. I know there’s a rivalry between you two about your book.” I started to protest, but he continued. “If you can just get him and anyone else off that boat for an hour or two, that should do it. His specialty has always been illegal phone taps. If we can get hold of any recordings of his phone conversations I’m hoping we can nail Blue Manatee for kidnapping, murder, and the big one – tax evasion. I pretty sure he’s up to his neck with the people behind Blue Manatee, if we can get something on him he’ll probably rat them out to save his own skin. A lawyer testifying against these people wouldn’t be safe in prison. He’s smart enough to know the witness protection program is his only hope.”

  “So you don’t think he’ll be prosecuted, even if he’s implicated in murder?”

  “Probably not. The way these things work, if he rolls over he’ll likely end up in some place like Dayton, Ohio selling insurance or used cars.” Jimmy gave me a look like what can you do.

  “You said two things?” Not that my impaired brain needed more to work on.

  “There’s some people here in Key West, like you said, who aren’t too happy about Blue Manatee. This being Key West, they’re likely to file a complaint in a very direct manner.” Another look in the eyes. “You need to call off Shark Hunter and his gang, at least until I see what’s on Grizzel’s houseboat. If they do anything before that, these people will likely go to ground and I may never get another chance.”

  “Shark Hunter and his gang?”

  “It’s my job to know what everyone in Key West is up to.” I realized he was in a good position to do just that. “You put Mr. Hunter and the newspaperman together, didn’t you?” I nodded. “Word on the street has them hanging out a lot the last couple of days, secret meetings with people around town, and going out on that old boat at night. I’m sure they’re up to something, something big.”

  “Well, I wouldn’t be too surprised. I think between ‘em they got enough initiative and crazy to do about anything.” I still hadn’t quite got a handle on all this. “Why do you need help from me? Don’t you have some Seal Teams or FBI agents for this sort of thing?”

  “Not really. Budget cutbacks, you know. In fact, I’m having a hard time convincing my bosses to move on the case. Not enough dead bodies for action on such a big outfit. I think they have a body-to-corporate-earning-ratio they use to determine these things. That and they have to meet with lobbyists to figure in past and projected political campaign contributions. It’s all pretty complicated, and slow.” Another shrug. “However, the IRS would be very interested if I can prove that one of their most wanted is back.”

  “The IRS has a most wanted list?”

  “Yeah. I think they’re coming out with a TV show in the fall.” He didn’t look like he was kidding. “Remember Uncle Walt? One of their biggest cases. He owed millions when he died.”

  “Seems like he was cryogenically frozen, or something.”

  “Yeah, he was. Uncle Walt was a pioneer in several fields besides cartoon animation and theme parks. He also broke new ground in tax evasion. He was the first to have himself declared legally dead so he could skip out on paying income tax.”

  “You’re shitting me.”

  “Nope. I’ve been hearing for a while now he’s back – unfrozen. Word is he wants to move his main operation as far south as he can and still be in the US. I guess even though the man is trying to beat his country out of all those back taxes, he’s still patriotic deep inside.” Jimmy smiled. “And I would imagine after what must have felt like a few million ice-cold showers he’s ready for some tropical sunshine and warm breezes.”

  ∨ Key Manatee ∧

  Twenty-One

  Jimmy told me more about Uncle Walt, DDT, Blue Manatee and their long-range plans for Key West. I told him about the dreamer and the environmentalists. He just shrugged.

  “These people have so many resources and such an extensive operation it’s not surprising they would infiltrate the tree huggers as well as the local politicians. They’ve probably also gotten to some people in law enforcement, on all levels, which is another reason I need your help. I know you’re not on their payroll or they wouldn’t be killing people to set you up.”

  “Yeah, there’s that. Nothing like getting set-up for a murder rap to make a man feel law-abiding.”

  We started kicking around some ideas for getting Grizzel and whatever Blue Manatee people off that houseboat as soon as possible. It took all my energy to get it thought out.

  “Let me rest up a bit and I’ll see if I can get my cohorts to help without spilling any beans about your employment. They’re neither one too fond of Grizzel and I’m sure they’d jump at any chance to inconvenience the man.”

  �
��Maybe you can get him in some kind of contest. He sees himself as the world’s greatest sportsman, not to mention he thinks he’s God’s gift to women.”

  “Yeah, I’ll try to come up with something along those lines. Maybe kill a couple of birds here. Sounds like I got to see Mr. Hunter anyway.”

  “Good. Let me know what you come up with tomorrow morning? I have a few things you can borrow if you need to. Some experimental stuff for the military.”

  I was asleep before he got out the door.

  ♦

  “So, let me get this straight. Consuelo here is going to convince Grizzel to go with you, and you want me to help Jimmy take Grizzel’s computer and files as a kind of joke on the man?” Slip gave this some hard thought. “Do we get to sink his boat too?”

  “No.”

  “Set it on fire?”

  I shook my head.

  “Just a small fire?”

  “No, nothing like that. Jimmy just thought it would be a fun way to get back at Grizzel for being such an asshole.”

  “Seems a little too easy for any real fun.”

  “Well, as we’ve seen, these days there seems to be some traffic over there of the Blue Manatee variety. Might be someone there guarding the place when Grizzel leaves.” This seemed to make Slip a little happier. I was happy myself just to be back home.

  “Okay. Maybe I can take a quick look at the engines on that thing while we’re there. I’ve heard it run, sounds like twin diesels.”

  “We’ll see how it goes. Do some thinking on how you’re going to get on board if there’s a guard.” A well-practiced sloppy salute and the man was out on the aft deck for some hard planning. Consuelo had been rustling around in the kitchen trying to keep up with whatever she was doing and with what we were saying. She came and sat by the couch with a steaming cup of something.

  “Try this. I got the recipe from Sara. Supposed to be a really good soup for sick people.” After a good night’s sleep on the couch I was still mighty weak but definitely feeling better.

  “It’s good. I think I might have had this before.” I smiled and was handed a stack of mail. On the top was a letter from Mary Ann. A small square, embossed envelope.

  “Aren’t you going to open it?”

  “Maybe later. You and I need talk about how we can get Grizzel off that houseboat for a couple of hours.”

  It didn’t take long. Along with her other attributes, it seems Consuelo can also be quite devious. She blames it on her sisters.

  After we had our plan hammered out I called Jimmy and he told me to hold tight, he’d be right over. I sent my two associates on a grocery and supply run just before Jimmy came by. Less than twenty minutes later everything was worked out and I was alone with the mail. The unopened letter from Mary Ann still on the top.

  ♦

  “I called Mary Ann and left a message when you first took sick. What was in the letter?” Slip and I were waiting on Consuelo to get back. I couldn’t see much of Grizzel’s boat from the lounge window, but I took a look every few minutes anyway.

  “Wedding invitation.”

  “Huh? For-”

  “Her and some guy from work.”

  “Oh shit, partner. I’m sorry to hear that.”

  “Don’t tell Consuelo, okay?”

  “Okay. That sure does suck.” I agreed.

  The soup did make me feel better. In fact, other than I still only had the strength of a two year old and felt like my heart had been ripped out with a pair of pliers, I was fine. Or at least a bit more clear-headed.

  I took another glance out the window. If my cell phone so much as peeped, the Calvary in the form of one Slip Hanson, would be out the door at a run. But it stayed silent, and after a while I saw Consuelo coming back down the dock flashing a smile and giving me a covert thumb’s up.

  “Looks like our gal did it. I just need to go see Shark Hunter and get things set up on that end. You might want to wait here, since you and him…”

  “No problem. I need to take a look in the clothes locker anyway, see what I can come up with for my disguise.”

  ♦

  Consuelo parked where I showed her outside the gate of the abandoned marina. After a short and heated debate she agreed to wait in the car. Not that I really thought it would be any safer, I just didn’t want her to get any more involved in the mess than absolutely necessary.

  “Here, Consuelo, take this.” I handed over a small silver weapon that looked something like a pistol.

  “What is this thing?” She didn’t seem to be overly impressed.

  “It’s a kind of laser stun gun thing. Works like a regular stun gun up to ten feet away.” She gave it a hard look and made a little snort laugh. “This shouldn’t take too long. Cell phone set?” We both checked. “Good. Don’t use that unless you have to. It’s experimental and not available to the general public. You can only get those from the military special forces and biker swap meets.”

  She lost the smile and her eyes softened.

  “Be careful.” Before I knew it she’d leaned over and planted a real nice kiss on me. It was such a surprise it took me a second to realize what was going on. A large percentage of my still weak body wanted to stay right there in the strong arms of the soft young woman, but I managed somehow to get out of the car and head for the gate.

  The trail through the tall weeds and abandoned hulks looked like it had seen some use recently. I could see a couple of cars parked behind a crumbling tin building and once I thought I saw movement on top of a derelict trawler.

  When I got to the narrow board plank going out to Shark Hunter’s boat, the man himself stood on deck waiting for me.

  “Come on aboard! Wondering when you’d be coming to join us!” I carefully negotiated the plank and took the offered hand for a rousing shake. The old shark fisherman looked over his shoulder toward the cabin door. “See here, I told you Taco Something would be coming by!”

  He turned loose of my hand, then grabbed an arm and about dragged me inside the cabin. Shawn the newspaperman looked up from a table full of charts long enough for a quick nod. On the floor was Queequeg giving me a welcoming growl. And sitting cross-legged on one of the bunks up front was Julie cleaning what appeared to be an assault rifle. She sprang to her feet and went for the clinch, about to hug the stuffing out of me.

  “Taco Bob! I’m so glad to see you!” Finally I was in a position to find out exactly what had happened to her. But before I could ask, Julie took a step back and held my hands. I was again able to breathe. “Those bastards Blue Manatee kidnapped me! Kept me all alone in a small room with only a toilet, a mini bar, and no cable for two days! It was terrible!” She blushed a little. “You know, the only thing that kept me going was thinking about how nice you’d been to me that night I came by your houseboat.” She had a new look going. Kind of a Rambo meets Victoria Secret that was quite fetching. She smelled of perfume and gun oil.

  “I finally escaped by using the toilet tank lid on one of the guards. But I didn’t know where to go. I was afraid of the police so I started walking towards the marina to see you again. One of my exes saw me and gave me a ride with him. I’ve been here since.” I had to ask.

  “One of your exes?”

  She pointed with her thumb over her shoulder at Shawn who gave a little wave without looking up from his calculations.

  “He said he gave you a note, in the park? Told you I was okay and not to worry.” I got it then. Same first initial, same last name as her brother.

  Shark Hunter stood out on the deck mumbling. I noticed he had a headset on, talking low to someone. He looked over at me.

  “That gal you left in the car, that the same lil blond with you in the bar the other night?” I nodded.

  “I was hoping to have a word with you, Mr. Hunter, just the two of us.”

  Julie was still standing in front of me gazing into my eyes in a dreamy way. She said, “We can talk later.” And gave me a wet one square on the lips before going back to cleanin
g her gun.

  The after effects of the fever along with catching a good whiff of Queequeg, not to mention the sudden upturn in the amount of personal attention from attractive young women had me feeling a bit dizzy. I went out into the cockpit with the old shark man and had a seat on the stern.

  “You feeling okay, Taco?”

  “I’m fine, Mr. Hunter. I had a bit of swamp fever come back on me a few days ago is all.”

  “Since you’re joining up with us there ain’t no sense in being all formal. You can just call me Shark.”

  “Well, Shark, I was wanting to see about a charter more than actually join up with your gang.”

  “I’m kinda booked already. I’m giving Shawn a special rate the next few days since he’s part of the gang and all. You join up, there lots of bennies.” He started winking and motioning with his head toward Julie while giving me the universal hand sign for the old in-and-out. “Shawn says she tends to get infatuated kinda easily, but she does seem mighty sweet on you.”

  I looked in the cabin and saw Julie smiling at me while stuffing bullets in a banana clip. I got back to business. “You know that lawyer, Harry Grizzel, lives on a fancy houseboat over at the marina?”

  “I heard a one like that what’s a grade A asswipe.”

  “That’s him. I need a half day charter tomorrow morning. Kind of a fishing contest between him and me.”

  “Well, shit. Normally I’d jump at something like that, but we kinda got plans already. Real secret stuff, you know. Of course, if you was to join the gang I reckon I could tell you.”

  “I need to talk to you about that too. There’s some other things in the works. Things that might put a halt to all that development and send some Blue Manatee folks to jail for JB’s murder. They’re worried you go to messing around, you might scare the bad guys enough they’d start getting a little too careful.”

  This got me another round of the steady eye and roving eye treatment.

  “We do aim to have a lil surprise party for some folks, but I kinda doubt we’re much open for any changes in our itinerary at this point. Plans is plans and all, you know.”