Death Before Dawn (Gaurdian's Diary Book 1)

by Amelia Hutchins

  “Where are your friends hiding, then?” he asked, not convinced I wasn’t alone.

  “Who says I have friends?” I smiled.

  “Sass won’t get you anywhere.” He smiled back. “Johnson, see if you can reach the Ark, and tell them we’re coming in one soul light, and get us the coordinates for it from here.”

  “The Ark?” I perked up, but his eyes snapped to mine and I knew, without needing to be told, he wasn’t going to tell me anything. Good, because if he’d started blabbing details, I’d have told Addy to shut up on the cords.

  “Ark this is NG1, you out there?” Johnson barked into the radio, which apparently was part of his backpack. Static. “Ark, this is Johnson from NG1, over.”

  “This is the Ark, copy,” Addy’s voice filtered through, overriding the static.

  My heart leapt to my throat.

  “Ark this is NG1, we lost a soul, coming in light, over,” he said.

  “Addy!” I screamed, and everyone turned to me.

  “Emma?” she asked. “Emma? Is that Emma?”

  “Addy, it’s me. These assholes have me tied to a tree,” I explained, watching as the ‘doctor’ I tied to the tree started to move. Shit. I’d almost forgotten about him, and they’d assumed he was dead.

  “You motherfuckers caught Emma?” she asked in a shocked tone. “Hats off to that shit, but you better let her go.”

  “You know this girl?” the guy asked, his eyes holding mine as he continued to talk.

  “Strawberry blonde, probably decked out in black and an arsenal of weapons, sound familiar?” Addy asked.

  “Very,” he mused, already moving towards me. “Tell me why I should let her go? We could just bring her to you. She’s apparently dangerous.”

  “I’ll give you one reason: You want in this shelter?” she asked.

  “You know we do,” he answered.

  “She owns it, she runs it; piss her off, and I won’t open these doors. Her father built it.”

  “No shit?” he asked, producing a knife and slicing through the plastic tie.

  I stood up as I rubbed my wrists, nodding to the kids. “Take them away from here for a few minutes. I have a promise to keep. If any of you are squeamish, go with.”

  I didn’t wait to see if they listened or left. I walked determinedly through the camp towards the pile of my weapons, swooped up a knife, and made my way to the guy who was coming around.

  “What’s she doing?” Addy asked. “Hey, what’s she doing?”

  “Plug your ears, Addy,” I warned as I sliced down the guys arm, shoving my fingers into the tissue and ripping at the ligaments. “Where are the others like you?” I demanded.

  “I’ll never tell!” he screamed; his body shook and trembled in pain. “I’ll die first!”

  “You’re right about that, asshole. Last chance,” I warned. When he tried to spit at me, I sliced his other arm open, watching as he slit his wrist the moment he began struggling again in earnest. The skin stretched, and blood started pouring. I was covered in it. “She was a human being! How powerful are you now? Do you feel like a God? You did this to her! Worse. You did so much fucking worse.” I slit him from sternum to his navel, and stepped back, turning away to find the men staring at me in open horror.

  I could hear Addy’s shuddering sob, and I wanted to hug her, to promise her I wasn’t like him, but I’d crossed a line. He needed to be punished, to be put through what he’d done to her. He deserved so much more.

  “Emma, what did you do?” Addy cried. “Who was that?”

  “That was a monster,” I whispered. “He reaped what he sowed, but not all of it. He deserved it. He deserved so much more, Addy.”

  “Mercy?” she asked.

  “No, I have no mercy to give,” I replied as I pulled my canister of water out and poured it over my hands. “I gave all the mercy I had to his victim.”

  “Good kill?” she asked.

  “No, never a good kill,” I whispered as I fought for composure. “Everything good there?” I asked, needing to change the subject. The men watched me as if I was the monster, but the truth was, I’d wanted that asshole to suffer for what he’d done. I’d enjoyed his screams. Mostly, I enjoyed knowing he’d felt some of what he’d forced an innocent woman to endure.

  “Um, so we asked about the other situation, with the blood? They’re building a hospital, said ours is shit. Bringing in doctors, and wanted to be ready in case of an emergency situation.”

  “Shit,” I whispered as I looked at the radio the guy held.

  “Yeah, shit. It’s all good, though, they were allowed back in when the truth came out, and we’re doing well, Ems, we are running things smoothly, and you don’t have to worry about us. You find Grayson, bring him home. I got this.”

  “I know you do,” I replied as I looked at the kids, who were coming back into camp as one of the soldiers draped a tarp over the guy I’d slaughtered. “They’ve got little ones coming in with emotional baggage. Cat around?” I should have told her about what happened with Shamus, but if I did, her life could be in danger. I bit my tongue, refusing to chance it. When I got back to the Ark would be soon enough to tell her.

  “Of course, all souls accounted for,” she replied carefully. “Souls on your side?” she asked.

  “I don’t know, left the party. Lachlan got shot, he’s wounded. He’s healing, though, just needs some time. He’s got his pack with him. Jaeden and his team; they were okay when I left them.”

  “I heard that you left them, but not why you left. He’s called every fucking day, freaking out about you. He said you’re giving him a merry ol’ chase round the mountains,” she snickered.

  “He tell you what happened?” I asked.

  “No, what happened?” she asked.

  “It’s a very long story which I’ll tell you all about later, but I’m okay for now. I’ll survive. These guys need directions; you got it?” I asked, but the radio had gone silent momentarily before she started talking to the other guy. “Addy, I’ll find a way to talk to you later, I need to head out.”

  “Emma, be careful,” she said.

  “Always am,” I quipped.

  “Uh huh, that’s why you got caught just now?” she countered.

  “You think I would have been caught if I didn’t want to be?” I asked, which caused the soldiers to look at me.

  “Not in a million years; see, I knew it was something like that,” she laughed. “Emma caught. That’s a good one.”

  I swallowed. I did get caught, and I hadn’t fought them. They could have been more cannibals. They could have just been horrible people.

  “So, you run the Ark?” the guy asked as he followed me to where I’d hid my bag.

  “I do, but not alone. My father built it. I have MREs for the kids, if they’re hungry,” I offered.

  “I’m Cage,” he said, offering his hand to me.

  I shook it, and grabbed my bag, heading back to where the kids were. I emptied my pack of all the MREs, watching as Cage ordered one of his guys to empty the Dutch oven. The little girl cried silently as she watched her father fall apart next to the sheet-covered remains of her mother.

  “Some sick shit,” someone said, and I turned to look at him. “How did you find this place?”

  “Found it because they were cooking, the fire was noticeable from a few miles away,” I replied. I turned to Cage. “How you hear about the Ark?”

  “An old man, he answered our call when we were stuck in Montana, but then we got another call that there was a family stuck, went to help them out. Figured we’d make it back before he did, never found him. Used the same radio signal, but got silence up until a few weeks ago. We have been heading there ever since.”

  I nodded. We’d changed channels; we did it every fe
w weeks to be sure we weren’t giving too much away while we looked for other survivors.

  “He made it back home okay?” he queried.

  “No, he was killed by some really nasty people,” I whispered.

  “Was he someone important?” he asked.

  “He was my father,” I replied, watching them take me in as I repacked my arsenal, as they called it, into my bag and different holsters. “You have to work at the Ark; it’s not easy work, either. We all help because it makes it work; it’s also mostly girls,” I announced. The men smiled and I rolled my eyes. “The girls there have been through hell. Nothing like what happened here, but hell all the same. You hurt them, or try to; I’ll rip out your heart, and if I’m not there to do the job, some of the guys living there will. Won’t think twice about it, either,” I said coldly. They flinched, because I’d shown them firsthand that I wasn’t kidding.

  “What are you doing this far away from home?” Cage asked, his eyes carefully watching my reaction.

  “Those people who killed my father took my brother. I plan to get him back,” I replied, unsure why I was comfortable with people I’d just met, but I was. Maybe it was the solitude of being alone after at least having the company of the wolves or vampires, and then nothing. I may not be the best with people, but I’d never done well with silence or being alone.

  “We can help,” he offered without hesitation.

  “No, you can’t,” I replied. “Thanks for offering, but it’s going to take an army to get that family to the Ark safely. He’s in no shape to do it; they need you. I was trained from a very early age how to survive an apocalypse. I got this handled, and the Ark needs soldiers. How did you guys make it this far anyway?”

  “We were in Montana stationed up in Helena, but when the sickness came, they built a fence around a quarantine area. No one got in or out; once everyone started to panic, chaos erupted. Loved ones just wanted to be together, but the guards, we were ordered to hold the perimeter at all costs. Wasn’t right; we were ordered to shoot anyone who broke through the gate, and then on the last day, they ordered us to kill them all. All the people who were sick, trying to prevent the sickness from spreading, I guess. The virus dies with the host, so they figured to cut the losses and move on. We left then; none of us were willing to slaughter those inside the gates. I took my unit, and we made our way north, hiding in the woods and surviving. Eventually, we found a ranch, set up shop. The militia came, and we got in over our heads, so we took to the woods, easier to cut our losses and get on with things. Right when we figured we were done for, your dad answered our call.”

  “Cage, we got company,” Johnson interrupted, dropping to his knee to look through his scope.

  I did the same, pulling my rifle up and looking through the scope just in time to catch sight of Jaeden and Bjorn as they traveled through the woods.

  “They’re here for me,” I replied. Even though Addy was giving the other guardsman the directions, I felt better showing him the way to the Ark myself, so I pulled out my map and ignored the Vikings as they stopped, knowing I’d seen them. “Take out your map,” I directed, as I unfolded mine and started mentally crossing off all of the reasons why I should go back to the caravan, versus reasons I should stay on my own. I pulled out my last Hershey’s bar and looked at the kids, before moving closer to the little girl. “Hi,” I murmured as I watched her brother pull her away from me.

  “She’s shy, been through a lot tonight,” the kid offered, eyeing me carefully.

  “I know she has, but I was about her age when my mother was…killed,” I countered, hating that it was a lie now, but knowing exactly how the little girl felt. “Life isn’t easy, that’s for sure, and it’s never fair, is it?” I talked to the kids as I pointed out the route for Cage. “It felt like the sky had fallen on me,” I whispered, and watched as Cage raised his eyebrows along with the others as they absently listened to me. “You have to let her go, because she’d want you to. She loved you enough for you to remember it, right?”

  “Yes,” the little girl hiccupped. “But I want Mommy.”

  “I know you do, but she’s gone, and you’re still here. It’s not fair, nor is it right, but it’s happened. We can’t change it, but you can learn from it.”

  “You lost your mommy?” she asked with wide green eyes.

  “I did, and I cried for a very long time. I blamed her, because she wasn’t strong enough to come back to me. I felt like I’d never be able to breathe again, ever, but I did. I thought she chose to leave or that dying was her choice.” My own mother had made a choice, she’d left me. “It wasn’t, though, so you can be mad, but you can’t stay sad or mad forever.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because that kind of sadness or anger? It does things to the soul, and it holds hers here; you want her to be happy in heaven, right?”

  “Yes,” she rubbed her eyes with her small hands, and eyed the chocolate bar I held hungrily.

  “Then let her find peace, and know if she could have stayed with you, she would have.”

  I set the chocolate down on the stump and finished giving the unit the coordinates to the Ark, along with notes on which towns to avoid with the kids, and where we’d had trouble crossing. With a quick round of goodbyes, I left the camp.

  Chapter 7

  I plunged into the woods and put as much distance between myself and the camp as fast as I could, knowing Jaeden would follow me, and giving the humans time to cope with their loss as they prepared to follow my directions to the Pacific Northwest and the Ark. They’d seemed nice, but, more to the point, they had actually been in the National Guard, and they would be a welcome addition to the shelter if they made it there alive.

  Slipping my pack back on, I winced at how light it felt. I’d left behind a lot of the MREs for the National Guard and those kids. I was still reeling from what had just happened; I couldn’t get the woman’s haunted eyes out of my mind. I couldn’t imagine what she’d endured at the hands of those monsters, but what was worse was the knowledge that there were a lot more of those kinds of monsters out there.

  I entered the little town I’d been heading to when I’d seen the smoke from the fire and paused. Jaeden was close; I could smell his earthy scent, and even though I didn’t really want to see him, I needed him. I needed someone to hold me, to tell me this world wasn’t as bad as it seemed to be. It would be a lie, but it was what I needed.

  I waited, turning slowly as I felt him nearby. He was standing inches from me; his eyes looking me over for wounds, and he seemed to relax when he found that, other than a fat lip and sore nose, I hadn’t sustained any in my last skirmish. I was covered in blood, but none of it was mine.

  “Emma,” he started, shaking his head as he geared up for an apology. I didn’t give him a chance. I threw myself into his arms as sobs rocked my body. I cried unchecked, gushing about what had happened, and what I’d done. He held me through it, until I calmed myself enough that only tears remained. “I’ve got you; you’re okay.”

  “No, no I’m not. I killed someone; I cut him up, brutally. I liked it. He did it to her; he cut her up, cut out her tongue, and ate pieces of her. I can’t do this. I’m not strong enough.” In what reality was this world worth saving if everyone started seeing each other as food? I was shaking; the tears wouldn’t stop. I needed him to make the images go away. If only for a moment, I needed to stop seeing the monster I’d become while I killed one.

  “It will go away, but what you did…it will always be a part of you. You know what you’re capable of, what everyone else is capable of. You’re strong, Emma, very strong. You’re a born Valkyrie. You’re the strongest woman I’ve ever known.”

  “Make me forget what I saw, what I did,” I begged, and he smiled as he nodded to Bjorn, who watched us. Jaeden grabbed my hand, pulling me towards a dark house, which was the last house before the stores
stretched out through the town.

  He pushed open the door, looked inside and pulled me in behind him as he did a quick check of the house, revealing no living or dead inside. The moment he found clean blankets, he laid them down on the floor, and then he was stripping me, removing my pack and his, then our clothes. I let him, not caring that it would only be sex, or that he might think it meant more. I was being selfish, but I knew he’d make me forget the horror of the days I’d spent without him.

  “I’ve missed this,” he groaned as his mouth found mine in a hungry kiss. Jaeden’s fingers slipped between my legs to ready my sex for his cock. He laid me down slowly, suckling my breasts as he pushed his fingers inside my tight heat. “Have you missed me?” I ignored his question as I claimed his mouth.

  “No!” The Sentinel’s voice screamed inside my head, and I stiffened. “Emma, don’t do this!”

  “Yes,” I whispered, lifting my hips to meet his intrusive fingers. I enjoyed the hiss of air that left his lips as he pushed his massive cock against my wetness, then pushed inside without warning. I needed him rough, hard, violent even. My legs wrapped around him as he started to thrust inside me deeper. I cried out, digging my nails into flesh as I urged him to move faster.

  “You’ll pay for this, Emma,” the voice threatened coldly with a sense of finality, as if it was a done deal. What the fuck was wrong with me?

  “Come for me, Emma,” Jaeden encouraged, needing me wet so that he could let loose. It was the first time we’d had sex since just after the funeral of my father. I’d kept my distance, kept him at arm’s length. I would do it again, later, but right now I just needed contact. I needed to know that I wasn’t alone.

  There was still smoldering heat between us; that mindboggling connection that seemed to drive us to this mutual need. He hadn’t pushed me too hard to be with him, and I was grateful, even though I had known he’d wanted it. My hands held his hair, holding his mouth against mine. I felt the presence of the other Sentinel in my mind, pacing, watching as I took Jaeden with vigorous determination to forget everything else. I was using him to forget; he was using me for the pent-up need he’d denied himself with the women he’d fed from.