Death Before Dawn (Gaurdian's Diary Book 1)

by Amelia Hutchins

  He tossed me onto the bed and followed me down, claiming my lips hungrily as he captured my hands above my head. He growled hungrily, low in his throat, the sound reverberating in his chest and tickling my lips. I felt his cock, hard, ready and straining against his pants to get out. He ground it against my soft mound, pulling away as he watched my eyes turn heavy with lust.

  “Don’t look away from me,” he urged as he sat up and maneuvered himself between my legs. He pulled a knife from the table next to the bed, flicking it open so the blade was exposed. “And don’t move,” he warned as he put the blunt edge against my skin. The cold metal made me flinch as he used it to slice through the sheer material of the lacy bra I wore. “Good girl,” he crooned, his eyes locking with mine as he continued to run the blunt edge of the knife over my skin. “It scares you, doesn’t it?” he whispered, his eyes moving to watch the blade as it caressed my flesh.

  “Yes,” I replied honestly, which caused his eyes to rise and meet mine. “You scare me, Azrael.”

  “You scare me too.” He lowered his mouth to one nipple, rolling it between his teeth, grazing the flesh before he pulled away. “You make me feel again, and sometimes the emotions are too much. The way you kiss me, it makes me think that I am redeemable, no matter what I’ve done, or will do.” He rained soft kisses against my flesh as his words made it pebble in awareness of the mixture of heat and pleasure it created.

  I smiled at him, but the knife turned; the blade touched the flesh inside my thigh, and I swallowed hard. He trailed it down the inside of my thigh and back up, never cutting the flesh, never hurting me. When he finally dropped it beside us on the bed, I saw blood on the palm of his hand from where he’d been holding it.

  “You cut yourself?” I tried to sit up, only to find myself pushed back against the soft sheepskin blankets.

  “I’d cut myself a thousand times before I would let anything hurt you,” he replied, moving to unzip his pants, revealing his cock, which jutted forward, proud and thick. “My intention isn’t to hurt you, ever. But you, you have a wild side and I plan to enjoy the fuck out of it.”

  “Is that so?” I wondered exactly what he thought we were about to do.

  “So,” he mused, his eyes lighting with excitement. “He’s not happy.” Azrael’s eyes darted towards the door.

  “He?” I asked, confused, as I tried to grab the blankets and cover myself.

  “Jaeden,” he chuckled; his eyes watched me carefully. “I overheard he was going to be leaving soon and it didn’t sound as if he was very happy with the way things stand right now.”

  I swallowed. I owed Jaeden a talk. I knew that, but I didn’t owe him more than that. I didn’t want Azrael to stop. I wanted the numbness that sex would bring. I wanted my mind to stop thinking about how I’d found my brother, or that he wasn’t ever going to smile at me again.

  “We can stop,” he offered, his eyes watching me for any reaction.

  “No, we can’t,” I assured him. No way in hell.

  He smiled, and lowered himself on the bed, parting my legs as his lips followed the trail the knife had taken. He kissed me, his tongue darted out every once in a while, licking and teasing me, causing my breath to hitch and catch as he worked his way towards the one spot where I needed him the most.

  He didn’t touch it, didn’t allow me to do so either as he captured my hands when I tried. He pushed them against my stomach as he pressed his mouth against my pussy, which was still covered by my panties. He blew hot air against it, watching my eyes as I moaned. He was fucking hot; his eyes told me he had nowhere else he’d rather be, or anything else he’d rather be doing. His tongue moved, flicked my sensitive flesh at the apex, and for the briefest of moments, released my hands long enough for him to rip the flimsy material to expose my state of readiness.

  I bucked my hips on instinct, and he laughed, the sound making my flesh break out in bumps. He wanted control; well, he could have it if he gave me what I wanted.

  “Leave your hands above your head and don’t move them,” he growled hungrily; his mouth chose that moment to lick and suck against my flesh. I didn’t listen. Instead, my hands flew to his hair, grasping it to hold him against my pussy. He laughed coldly, shifting away from my heat to sit up and look down at me. “Bad girl,” he teased as he leaned over to kiss my forehead, his hand rose as if in slow motion, only to descend with blurring speed and slap the delicate flesh. The gentleness and punishment together was erotic, and did more to my senses than anything else could have. My hips bucked and rolled in reaction; it stung. He smiled wolfishly, the kind that said he’d enjoyed hurting me. “Now be a good girl and don’t make me withhold from you what we both need,” he urged. “Hands up above your head, eyes on me.” He smiled roguishly. “Understand?”

  “And if I like being punished?” I countered, knowing I was playing with fire, but damn, sometimes I liked being burned.

  “Then I may have to rethink the best way to punish you.” He dropped his lips to the side of my labia, kissing the area while leaving my pussy neglected, and yet it still turned me on. His lips were liquid fire, his tongue the igniter switch. He pushed his finger inside, and then another, the sensation creating a new heat that burned from within. He crooked them, and made a ‘come here’ motion that hit me in all the right ways. His tongue flicked the hood of my clitoris and I moaned and almost closed my eyes, but somehow managed to keep them on him.

  He was smooth, his pressure was just enough. His mouth wasn’t too much too fast. Instead, it was doing everything right. There was no rushing, and he slowly devoured me until I thought I was going to combust, but the moment my orgasm got close and teetered on the edge, he shifted again, parting my legs before he rocked his thick cock against my entrance. All the while, never breaking eye contact; instead, he used my reaction to gauge everything he did.

  If I moaned, he continued, if my reaction dimmed, he did something else. He lifted my legs, spreading them further apart than I’d had them, and continued feeding me the tip of his cock, only to pull out when the sensation became too much temptation. If I tried to take control, he backed away, watching me as I whined and rocked my hips in welcome for him.

  I was going to die if he didn’t do something soon. Death by teasing.

  “Azrael,” I whispered throatily, wondering whose voice had just escaped from my lungs.

  “Emma,” he crooned, watching me. “Oh, you thought I was just going to fuck you? That’s sweet,” he laughed, the sound sending a multitude of sensations over my flesh. His wings exploded from his back, sending black feathers floating in the air. “I’m going to fucking wreck you, just like you did to me.”

  He backed up, flipped me over and pushed me down until my face was against the mattress, and then he pushed his knee and fingers into my back until a scream erupted from my lungs, and my own wings burst from my back and expanded. The moment they did, he backed up and kneeled on the mattress as his fingers touched the wings, sending a shock of pleasure through my body, searing me all the way to my soul.

  “Wings are delicate until they are fully formed. They will always be sensitive, erotically so if touched right.”

  “That hurt,” I mumbled, wondering if I’d bit off more than I could chew. This man was more than a mouthful.

  “Mmm, but you like pain,” he growled, right before his hand slapped my ass, and then lifted my hips. “Remember, so far, every time I’ve fucked you, I’ve held back. No more. This time it’s bare flesh, and souls,” he growled, parting my legs as he gripped my hips. He lunged forward and I cried out; he hadn’t stretched me, and my body wasn’t prepared, not fully. He pulled out, and then pushed back into my body mercilessly as he continued to stroke the…well…whatever the fuck was between my wings that felt like he was kissing it instead of touching it. I was screaming; the sensation of his cock thrusting inside of me and that delicate bone being
stroked at the same time was too much. I lost my shit. I struggled to roll out from under him, turned, and lifted my leg as he laughed, deep, sultry as he used it to his advantage. He adjusted me, stretching my legs into the most painful position ever, and fucked me until my eyes closed and my body detonated, milking his cock as the orgasm rushed through me.

  He rolled us, forcing me to be on top of him and I glared down as my wings flexed and readjusted to the movement.

  “That wasn’t nice,” I hissed, wondering what the hell had just happened. I’d gone blind as I came, because the only thing I’d seen was my body on the bed looking hot as hell as I screamed my head off.

  “It was fucking beautiful,” he argued. “Ride my dick, Emma,” he demanded, and I frowned.

  “Mmm, are you giving me orders or control?” I smiled as I began to rock my hips, and he released a contented groan. I planned to rock his world, and when he tried to sit up, I slammed him back down hard. He tried it a few more times, but I refused to allow him to get up. I smiled victoriously, right up until he grabbed my waist and threw me onto the bed, following me as he thrust inside of my heat, capturing my hands and driving his cock in hard, punishing me for taking control, or what little control he’d offered me. His hands refused to leave mine, even when he tensed and released his own orgasm; he stayed with me, continuing to take what I gave and even more. I cried out as the next one rushed through me in blissful waves, and then he smiled, turning me onto my stomach as he nudged my legs apart, slapping my ass until I raised it high enough for him to enter me. His hands grabbed my hips, entering me hard, without mercy, and then one hand moved to my hair, which he pulled roughly. His mouth found mine, uncaring that it bent me into a weird, painful position as he used hard, painful thrusts to fuck me.

  “I have control, Emma. I always have control,” he scoffed, his eyes burning red as he watched me explode again.

  Chapter 31

  I rubbed my ass, growled and turned angry eyes on Azrael, who was smiling. He’d thrown me into the air and, like the other times, I’d landed flat on my ass. He hadn’t been joking when he’d promised he wouldn’t take it easy on me.

  “Focus, use the pain and anger,” he urged as he returned to his position in the clearing.

  I got back into the fighting stance he had shown me just in time for him to move faster than my eyes could track him, only to end up flat on the ground with another bruise to my ego and ass.

  “This isn’t working!” I growled in frustration, my anger simmering as I tried to get over constantly being knocked on my ass while dealing with the bomb Addy had dropped on me this morning when we had arrived back at the Ark.

  “Clear your pretty little head, Emma, stop worrying about it. It can’t be changed,” he muttered as he closed in on me, his bare torso a welcome distraction. It didn’t help that so many people were outside, watching us.

  “He got her pregnant,” I grumbled.

  “She’s happy, they’re happy. It’s not a problem you can fix, and she doesn’t want you to.” His eyes narrowed as he studied me for a few moments before he smiled grimly. “You fucking failed with everything you set out to do, didn’t you?” he sneered. “Grayson is dead, and you let it happen.”

  His sudden verbal attack was so shocking, I exploded, my hands pushed him, moving air and displacing molecules as time stood still, and he went sailing across the field. I didn’t stop. I attacked, moving as fast as he had, displacing time and space as I landed close to him, only for him to reappear across the field.

  “You failed to save him,” he taunted, and I screamed. Tears blinded my vision and I wanted to hurt him in the worst possible way. I wanted to place the dagger at my hip in the spot where his cold heart should have been. “Come and get me,” he challenged and I moved again, same speed, slamming into him and taking him down with cold, calculated precision.

  He rolled me over, capturing my hands as I went for my dagger and smiled down with an irritatingly beautiful smile. I bucked at him, freezing time as I howled for him to get off of me. I saw red; his words had hit home and it fucking hurt.

  “Emma, meet your trigger; it’s your heart,” he whispered, his eyes locking with mine before he vanished.

  “That was a low blow,” I snapped, standing up and realizing he’d done it. He’d triggered me, and it had worked. I didn’t want to think of Grayson, because the pain was a raw wound that seeped, and refused to close.

  “It worked, didn’t it? You froze time, and you ‘ported across the clearing without me having to do it for you.”

  “Ported?”

  “Yeah, short for apport or apportare, take your pick.” He grinned. “The way Sentinels move…the way time seems to stop for us.”

  I looked around us, noting that everyone was still frozen in place. I exhaled, released the anger, and slowly they came to life. I’d done it! I jumped up and down as my eyes locked with Jaeden, who had no idea what I had done.

  No one did. They only saw us when I failed to move, or when I landed flat on my very sore derrière. I smiled and shook my head. I was evolving. Slowly, very slowly, but it was progress. I looked over at Liam, who was leaning close to Addy, whispering something in her ear as his hand lovingly stroked her flat belly.

  Fucker.

  “Not your problem,” Azrael murmured against my ear. “You see that smile?” His hand slipped against mine as his fingers slowly touched me, caressing me. “They are in love. Would you make her regret being so happy just because you don’t like the situation?” he asked softly.

  “No, but he’s not human. He already broke her heart once. What happens if he decides he doesn’t want the baby? What happens if she has it and something goes horribly wrong?”

  “Stop what-if-ing everything. They’re happy now; you and her both chose to live in the now. She is. You’re not. Stop trying to control everything and let it go, for once in your life, just let go,” he murmured.

  I punched him, froze time, and he sailed across the field before he’d even realized I’d done anything. Let that shit go, asshole. I smiled as he brought his hand up to his nose and grinned at me. One second I was smiling, staring at him, and the next I was on my ass, and he was still across the field. I blinked, frowned, and shook my head.

  “How the hell?” I whispered. He’d struck so fast that it appeared, even to me, that he hadn’t moved. Yet, here I was, flat on my ass. He did it again, and I had to stop myself from blinking; his wings had expanded, and he was moving in slow motion. I stood up, moving my arm back, and the moment he got close enough, I let it fly at his nose. I hit him, hard.

  “Jesus,” he groaned as he backpedaled in surprise, righted himself, and laughed. “Good girl.”

  I bit my lip and smiled. “Wings,” I whispered, watching as his wings seemed to be absorbed back into his body. Up until now, we’d been careful to keep most of our abilities to ourselves. We had eyes on us, a lot of them.

  “That’s good for today,” he said after he’d shaken off the hit. “You’re getting faster, but you need to learn how to do it without me having to rip your heart out. I hate doing it.”

  “It works.” My eyes focused on Addy, who was staring at me. “I should talk to her,” I whispered. “She thinks I hate that she’s with him. I owe her an explanation, and it’s time I spoke to Jaeden, alone.”

  “No,” he growled, his eyes glowing red with anger.

  “Azrael, I owe him an explanation and I need the closure as much as he does right now. Living in the now means I have to say goodbye. I have to tell him to move on so that I can move forward with whatever this thing between me and you is. So, you’re going to need to trust me.”

  “I trust you; it’s him I don’t trust,” he admitted. “There’s also the fact that you’re Life, and he isn’t exactly breathing.”

  “What does that even mean?” I asked as he frowned and l
ooked away.

  “You’ll figure it out; I need to go source for boots anyway. You put a hole in my favorite pair yesterday. I know you feel bad about leaving him. He can find someone else, though, I can’t,” he whispered as he shoved his hands into his pockets. “He’ll love again; he’s already proven that with you. Without you, my life is sterile, cold, and black and white. You’re my color. You’re my warmth, and I don’t want to give that up. I won’t give that up. I know I sound like an asshole, but would you give up the world for him? Would he give up the world for you? I’d do it in a heartbeat for you. I’m a selfish prick, yet I can live with that.”

  I frowned and raised my eyes to his. “No, I wouldn’t,” I answered honestly. “I’d give up a lot of things for him, though, but I don’t think you’re one of them.” I watched him carefully as he smiled.

  “You rock my world, Emma,” he murmured as he froze time to kiss me. My toes curled as his lips touched mine in a gentle kiss, one that made me feel like I really was his world. That was the thing that made me want him. He made me feel beautiful, and I wasn’t afraid of him shirking his duties for me, or ending up dead because some group of old-as-fuck assholes decreed it.

  Jaeden wasn’t free to choose me. He would always do as the vampire elders told him to, not just because he was compelled to, but because his very life depended on it. If they told him to leave, he would. He held back from me and while I knew it, and had known it, I didn’t want to face up to how much it bothered me. I’d been content to ignore it and I’d settled, which, looking back now, had been okay for a time. Now? Now I needed someone who didn’t have to run off when I needed them at my side.