by E. Davies
Cas smirked and kissed the tip. “Oh, dear. I might have to swallow that hot load of yours. It’s not like I’ve been daydreaming for weeks about you grabbing my head and fucking my throat until—”
Oh, fuck, he has a dirty mouth. Matt’s jaw dropped as he listened until he heard what sounded like instructions—and then he obeyed.
He pulled Caspian close by the back of his head, thrusting into his mouth and grunting at how fucking incredible it felt. It had been so long since a guy had given him head this good.
“I can’t—baby, I’m gonna…” His hand slipped from Cas’s hair, but Cas reached out to cover it and pushed his head down hard again, moaning around his cock. Best of all, Matt just caught a glimpse of Cas stroking himself hard and fast, his swollen head peeking out from the tight circle of his fingers.
That sight, plus the strangled sound of encouragement and arousal, was all he needed.
Matt rolled his head back and cried out as his body drew tight and then shuddered in rhythmic, uncontrollable waves.
He didn’t want reality to come creeping back in. As soon as he was done, he grabbed Cas’s shoulders and hauled him up to sit over his chest. “Your turn.”
Cas grabbed the headboard as he stroked himself hard and fast. “Won’t last long enough for your mouth, baby,” he said with a breathless laugh. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes sparkled with a certain glow.
He was so the type of guy who couldn’t get away with jerking it or fucking sneakily. The just-had-sex glow was strong on him, and it was adorable as hell. Matt couldn’t stop looking at the little smiles that passed over his lips, and the way they rounded to a soft “o” shape, right before…
Cas gasped and swayed as his hips jerked, so Matt quickly grabbed his hips to help keep him steady and upright. The warm, sticky mess against his lips, cheeks, and chin turned Matt on so badly.
“You should definitely take a photo of that for me,” Matt murmured, smirking up at him.
The blush looked even more adorable on Cas. He stuttered for a moment before grabbing for Matt’s shorts, digging around for the phone in them. He took a photo and then leaned over to grab tissues, looking almost shy.
As soon as he could sit up again and Cas lay next to him, Matt opened the photo for a look. “Oh,” he whispered.
He’d never looked so hot as he did with the shadow of Cas’s still-hard cock against his cheek and Cas’s passion streaking his skin.
“There. I’ll send you that when you least expect it,” Matt teased.
Cas grinned. “You’re a naughty tease,” he said, but it was fond.
“I aim to please. And tease. And squeeze…” Matt grabbed Cas’s ass, then slapped lightly. “What a great ass you’ve got, too.”
“All thanks to this gym I go to…” Cas smirked. As they rested in each other’s arms, Cas hummed. “So, I’m gonna give you unsolicited advice.”
Matt blinked and then laughed. “Well, I appreciate your honesty. Shoot, then.”
“Why are you sticking your head in the sand instead of owning it? With this whole protest thing?”
“Uhh.” Matt blushed. “That’s kind of what the security guy said, too, you know. He said—apparently he’s gay, by the way—his boyfriend wouldn’t be comfortable in gang showers. And so many other people aren’t.”
“I’ll talk to my friends over brunch next time,” Cas murmured. “But you know what? If you offered gay classes, you’d attract a lot of people who don’t really feel like the gym is for us.”
Matt had to admit he had a point. If that was what he was doing with Lift, there was no point in letting the assholes scare him into silence. “So, what, like classes just for gay guys?”
“Anyone LGBT,” Cas said, shrugging. “Or women’s-only classes. Maybe nonbinary people can join those, too. Anyone who feels intimidated by having men around. Create those safe spaces they’re asking for—on certain days and times—so that people who might feel unsafe have a choice. But keep it mixed the rest of the time. Like the new community center that’s getting built in town, but a place to actually get fit as well. You could probably partner up with them.”
Fucking hell, he’d just started dating a genius. Matt stared at Cas for a few long moments and then grabbed his cheeks and kissed him hard.
Cas made a startled squeaking sound before laughing and kissing him back, letting Matt suck his lower lip and press little open-mouthed kisses against his neck. “What?” he giggled.
“I can’t believe I didn’t think of that. Jesus, I’m an idiot,” Matt groaned.
“Oh, no, you’re not.” Cas was suddenly stern as he poked him in the chest. “I’m not letting you get away with calling yourself that. You just didn’t see the solution because you’re busy standing your ground against people who don’t see what you’re trying to do. Sometimes it takes a third party to see another way, that’s all.”
Matt rubbed his chest and shook his head. Cas was a lot smarter than he thought, too. Exhaustion was setting in, but that didn’t stop the excitement building up. “I’m telling Rory first thing. We’ll announce it, and then they’ll all shut up and go away.”
“Um…”
Matt pushed himself up and looked at the clock. “Fuck, it’s late. I really gotta get going.”
Cas chuckled quietly. Matt couldn’t read his expression, but Cas pushed himself upright and watched as Matt got dressed, so he didn’t seem to resent him going.
“When I have the late shift, I’ll stay over. Pick a day that works for our Rocket date, and I’ll arrange it all with Rory,” Matt promised.
He was flying high now, ideas tumbling around his head. Why the hell hadn’t any of this occurred to him? Swimming pools, and even gyms in larger cities, did this kind of thing all the time.
They kissed each other good night at the door a good dozen times before Matt finally managed to peel himself away and stumble, tired but happy, to his car for the quick drive home.
The more he thought about their conversation that night, he wasn’t quite contented, but he was well on his way.
If they’d said a lot of words and not really gotten anywhere today, that was fine. They still hadn’t decided if they were out socially, or how to handle them both being too busy with work to see each other often.
Details, details. Everything would sort itself out over time, Matt was sure. At least they were going steady now. That was a start—and not just a start, but the beginning of something potentially brilliant.
As for where the end was… he had no idea. But that was a problem for a later day. For now, he had a course of action again, and he had Cas to thank for that.
20
Caspian
“Heads up, you’ve got company.” Gabriel gave Cas a smile and retreated to his own stall—or rather, his boyfriend’s family’s stall.
He still sold produce for the Mieles at the farmer’s market a few days a week, but he was cutting down his hours now that he’d found more landscape design work. Cas was a little jealous that he only worked one or two Saturdays a month.
Still, business was business.
“Afternoon,” Cas greeted his new customer as she approached the stall. She gave him an absent smile and looked over the cute door signs before nodding and drifting past to another stall.
Just browsing, then. Cas sat down again and picked up his notebook. At least that gave him a break from trying to make conversation with Gabriel. He could save more energy for talking to customers when they walked up.
He’d been distracted all day. It was distracting to think about what was going on at the gym with Matt. Despite their great conversation last week, they’d hardly seen each other since then. They swapped texts in the mornings and evenings, and even those were scarce right now.
But Cas had his own business to worry about. He had to figure out how he was going to get time to design any collaborations with Cora. That meant rebalancing his inventory and production schedule. He’d planned to spend September almost entire
ly on wreath-making, but he had to set aside some time and money to figure out living indoor herbal decorations.
That meant a lot of notebook calculations, and going back through his phone to find old receipts.
He barely noticed when someone else walked over, until he cleared his throat and leaned on the table.
“Oh, hello—” He broke off, his jaw dropping.
Chad? No way.
It was definitely him, obnoxious attitude and baggy shorts and all. He’d never had great fashion sense, but he’d really become a slob in the last few years. His attitude hadn’t changed a bit, though. He’d always felt entitled to anything he wanted.
Chad was leaning sideways on the table, looking at Gabriel. Gabriel was pointedly not looking back at him, rearranging his table display and humming. It made Cas smile to see how genuinely happy Gabe looked to ignore his once-stalkerish ex.
Clearly Chad still wanted Gabe, but the feeling was one-sided. In fact, Cas distinctly recalled hearing that Chad wasn’t allowed to go anywhere near Gabe without Cora threatening him something fierce.
When Gabriel kept ignoring him, Chad gave up with a sigh and turned to face Cas. It was easy as pie to read the thoughts going through his mind, because Chad suddenly turned on his oily charm. “Hey, bro. Whassup?”
Cas tried for a polite but cold smile. “Hi. Can I help you find something?”
“Maybe. I hope so,” Chad said, drawling his syllables in a certain way that was probably supposed to be flirtatious. It just made Cas shiver, though. What an ass.
“Who are you shopping for?” he answered, refusing to read any meaning that Chad wanted him to into the interaction. If Chad was hitting on him, he was going to make him damn well come out and do it.
Chad pouted for a moment before folding his arms and standing up straight. He looked a little bit intimidating like that, but Cas refused to rise to his feet and engage with him. “Well, you’ve sure got hot lately. Guess that time in the gym’s helping, huh?”
Okay, was Chad trying to stalk him now?
“Maybe.” Caspian raised his eyebrow and shrugged as he looked down at his folded arms. He knew perfectly well that there wasn’t much difference in his biceps since he’d started going to the gym. It was just an excuse to say “I know where you go” and intimidate him, for whatever reason. “I didn’t notice you there.”
“Really?” Chad was clearly trying to swagger now. “I’m usually over with the weights, bro.”
He couldn’t believe Chad had the nerve—after basically stalking Gabe, and getting shooed off by Cora and Orion—to try hitting on him now. Was he even interested, or was he just trying to piss off Gabriel? Either way, Cas had no interest in talking to him even further.
“Yeah. I watched some of the big guys lift last week. Definitely didn’t notice you.” Cas put enough of an edge into the statement to make it clear it was an insult.
It took Chad a few seconds to work that fact out before he slouched. “You sure? I’m there most days.”
Man, he wouldn’t give up. Caspian knew that already, though, so he decided to make it extra-clear. He leaned forward and waved the notebook as he said, “If you aren’t interested in buying anything, I’m afraid I’ve got some work to do, so…”
At least Chad seemed to pick up that signal. He huffed under his breath. “Yeah, fine, whatever. You could’ve just said no, bro.”
Cas rolled his eyes. “No. Shoo.”
If he’d been any less obnoxiously straight-bro about it, Chad would have flounced off. As it was, he added an extra roll to his shoulders as he shuffled away.
“Good for you,” Gabriel muttered. “Don’t let him get his claws in.” As expected, he’d been listening in to the whole thing.
Cas snorted. “Like hell I was going to let that happen. One: ew. Two: ewwww.” That made Gabe smile, at least. “Three, your ex? Ew. Four… well…” He blushed and looked at Gabriel. “I’m kind of exclusive right now.”
“Oh!” Gabriel stared and then grinned. “With Mr. Mystery?”
“Oh, shut up.” Caspian covered his face as he laughed. “He has a name, you know.”
“Mr. Cas is Finally Getting Laid?”
Cas flipped Gabriel off.
“Okay, fine. Mr. Making Cas Smile,” Gabriel said with a smile.
He shook his head, even if it was true. The last few weeks had been some of the happiest he could remember. Maybe it was just the disruption to what had grown a fairly boring routine.
A new love interest always spiced things up, and it had been a long time since anyone had walked into his life and not walked straight back out again.
But this past week had started to nibble at his sense of security and stability. They’d just agreed to go steady, but Matt had talked to him less than he had before then.
Which, of course, sent Cas’s brain spiraling into overdrive.
“Uh oh.” Gabriel interrupted his thoughts. “I sense overthinking. That’s not good.”
“How could you tell?” Cas muttered.
Gabriel turned his chair backward and scooted closer, folding his arms along the top of it. “The smoke coming out of your ears. Come on, spill.”
This wasn’t exactly the time and place for him to spill all his worries to Gabriel, but if he didn’t, he’d just wind up worrying to himself for days on end. That had made for an awfully lonely work week, when the only other company he’d had was the craft store clerk and his own spreadsheets.
“I guess he’s just… being slow to reciprocate right now. He came on pretty hot,” Cas told him. When Gabriel snickered to point out the innuendo, Caspian tried his best to ignore him. “You know, seeing each other every day.”
“Right. When was this? After brunch?”
“The day of brunch, actually.” Caspian smiled fondly at the memory. “He was texting me, and anyway, I went to the gym afterward to try to burn off those mimosas. He approached and asked me out for coffee that afternoon.”
“Right. I heard that.” Gabriel blushed when Cas rolled his eyes. “You know how the grapevine works.”
Cas snorted. Even if they hadn’t been spotted at Grind, no doubt someone would have seen them buying seed at JJ’s or wandering around the park. The town had eyes everywhere. “So, that was a cool first date. Then we saw each other the next day, and he couldn’t seem to get enough of me.”
“When did that change?”
Cas propped his chin on his fist, his elbow on the table. “Pretty much when we decided that we’re going steady.”
“As boyfriends?”
“No,” Cas frowned. “Just exclusive, and serious, but not boyfriends yet.”
“Why not?”
Now they were getting to the heart of it. Gabriel seemed to have some pretty damn keen insight, because Cas was getting uncomfortable. Something rang a little too true. “Because I don’t think he’s ready for it?”
Gabriel tilted his head. “That’s a question?”
“I don’t know?” Cas laughed and groaned. “I didn’t want to lose him, but I didn’t want to scare him off with commitment, either…”
“Is he commitment-shy? If he jumped into all those dates, it doesn’t seem like it,” Gabriel said.
Cas had to admit that was true. “But basically, he feels clueless. He’s… well, he’s bi.”
“Like Ryan?”
“Not quite. You were Ryan’s first experience, right? With Matt, he’s been with guys, but not dating.”
“He’s been around the block on Grindr, you mean,” Gabriel surmised.
Whatever Cas tried not to say, Gabriel guessed right away. Damn, he was good. Cas laughed and shook his head. “Yeah, sure.”
“Well, of course he doesn’t know how to date if he’s been learning everything he knows there.” Gabriel shook his head. “At least I got Ryan pretty fresh. I could train him the way I wanted.”
Cas was startled into a laugh. “Train?”
“Even the best men need a little breaking in,” Gabriel said,
winking. “We went through our rough patch before he figured it out. Maybe he needs more time to be public.”
“That’s what I assumed,” Cas said, nodding. After all, he’d been out for so long that he’d forgotten what that early stage was like. If Matt was looking at coming out to his family, and being an out business owner—and he’d mentioned the gym before as a reason he wasn’t out—then he had a lot on his mind right now.
“What else are you assuming that’s keeping you back from what you could have?”
That was too big a question for Caspian to wrap his head around. He tried to hold onto it, but it was hard to approach that kind of problem without breaking it down into bite-sized pieces.
What did he want to have?
A boyfriend. That was obvious. He’d been trying to find one in all the wrong places—random men coming to the countryside for a quick fuck to get it out of their system. Clearly, he’d been in need of something more stable for a while now.
So he’d gone and chosen the guy who felt least confident having one.
Well done, Cas. He sheepishly smiled. “Yeah. I’ll think about that for a bit,” he told Gabriel. They had incoming customers, though. “Heads up.”
They both turned back to their tables to focus on work for a little bit longer.
After they left, Cas dove into his notebook again to keep doing calculations. He had to wait for Matt to come around and be ready for a relationship, then. At least they had something going on, even if Matt was busy with life.
He couldn’t blame him for that. The next few months were going to be crazy enough for him. If it didn’t work out, then… well, they’d tried, at least.
His heart gave a twinge, though. He pulled out his phone and stared at the text thread for a minute. Just morning and evening texts for the last few days. None of those middle-of-the-day distracting conversations they’d been having before.
Maybe what he needed was something to remind Matt of him. Something he could use at work, but that had some meaning to both of them. Something that would tell Matt that Cas was thinking of him, and help convince him that all the frustration and stress of coming out was worth it.
