Bad Things Happen

by Kris Bertin

  We’re talking about you, he says.

  He’s wearing his heavy work coat over a spring jacket over a hooded sweatshirt, layers and layers separating him from me and everyone else, with just the tiniest bit of skin peeking out.

  The phone rings just then—down in the living room—and he doesn’t move, doesn’t get up. Instead, he puts the cursor on the mouse’s grey face, where it turns into a little white hand, and then a fist. He drags the picture over to the words, and places it exactly where it belongs. Then he taps the screen, right between the creature’s eyes. The phone keeps ringing and ringing.

  I took this picture, hey? It’s one of mine.

  Good stuff, I tell him. Good.

  Acknowledgements

  I wrote the first of the stories collected here when I was 23 and completed the last one at age 30. They might be the only things I have ever taken seriously in my life, and have been challenging enough that I’ve had to reach out for help many, many times. This page is necessary to thank all the gifted, gracious people who I have asked so much of, and who gave me their very best without asking anything in return.

  I dedicated this book to Alexander MacLeod and Ryan Paterson for the work they’ve put into these stories, and for supporting this project from the start. Alexander took a chance on me, was patient with me, and believed in me. Ryan has always pushed me to be better. Without these two, there would be no Bad Things Happen (and maybe no Kris Bertin either).

  A big thanks to my fellow students from the Saint Mary’s creative writing workshop (especially K. Murray) who helped me find my voice and get my first work published. Thanks to the magazines who printed me: The Antigonish Review, Words & Images, The Malahat Review, Riddle Fence, Joyland, TNQ, PRISM International, and EXILE. Thanks to Nick Mount at The Walrus,

  Lee Sheppard at Pilot Pocket Book, Mark Jarman at Fiddlehead, and Ben from ResumeQuest for all their extra help. Thanks to Amy, Dave Richards, and Mike Christie, who said (under duress) some very nice things about me and this book. Thanks most of all to Dan Wells and the people at Biblioasis for their dedication and extraordinary effort in making this book a reality.

  Thanks to my normal friends, and to my friends who are writers. Thanks to my family, especially Jeremy & Patricia, who put me up so I could work on this stuff more than once. Thanks also to my other family at Bearly’s—staff and customers both—who have always encouraged me, bought my stories, or supplied the raw materials with which to make them. I love you all, but I love you the very most, Ashley.

  Finally, I wish to apologize to all the friends, family members, girlfriends, coworkers, employers, customers, pets, and professors whom I have continually disappointed and neglected in order to write these stories.

  I’m sorry, but I couldn’t help it.

  KRIS

  About the AUTHOR

  Kris Bertin is a writer from Lincoln, New Brunswick. He bartends in Halifax, Nova Scotia.