Rules of Friendship: Friends-to-Lovers Standalone Romance Novel
Page 17
“So what?” She looks down toward my chest, her fingers tracing over my collarbone and along the base of my neck. “The two of you are best friends now?”
“I only have one best friend, babe, and that's you.” She lifts her eyes and they lock with mine. “Before her dad came to visit, she didn’t have anyone else to talk to.”
She nods, but I can see the discomfort written all over her face.
“I adore you,” I whisper. “Love isn’t even a strong enough word to describe what I feel for you. I’d do anything for you, and that includes cutting all ties with Renee, now that she has—”
“No,” Reese interrupts. “I trust you.”
“But you don’t trust her.”
Her eyes shift downward again like she feels shame. “Does that make me shallow?”
“Hell no.” She smiled at my reply. “If the tables were turned, I’d be unbelievably jealous too.” Laughter escapes from her lips. “That’s why I’ll definitely be by your side during the one and only visit if you decide to attend one.”
“This will be your first time seeing her since she checked in?”
“And I won’t be going on this visit unless you're with me.” Seeing Renee is the least of my worries. I meant it when I said that I was just helping someone in need. There was never an ulterior motive. Any feelings I held for Renee have been long gone for some time. At this point, it is hard to consider that I could’ve ever held feelings for any other woman than Reese. My heart and soul were and are in her hands. Reese was, is, and will always be my only. It’s always been Reese.
“I’ll go,” Reese says, swallowing a deep breath. “But only because I need to ensure she’s not after my man.”
“She’s not,” I confirm as I kiss her cheek, the corner of her mouth and her jaw. “But even if she were, it wouldn’t matter, because I’m all yours. You have me, Reese. All of me is all of yours.”
“Yes. You are mine, Dawson, as I am yours too,” she states as she nudges me by pushing her hands against my chest. I roll back and watch as she crawls over me, one leg firmly planted on either side. “And I’m not willing to share.”
I understand what this is; it’s Reese showing herself and me that she is in control. If she needs to dominate, if she needs me to lay back and give her free rein, I am more than happy to do just that.
“You’ll never have to share me, baby.” I look up at her, just as she lifts her nightshirt up over her head, and her perfect breasts come into full view. “Do some damage,” I challenge as I hold my hands out to my sides, offering her a cocky lift of my brows. “And I’ll just lay back and take everything you’re willing to give.”
“What if I want to give you everything?”
“Then I’ll be the luckiest guy around.” She doesn’t say another word as she lowers her body over mine, her warm heat to my hardness, as she covers my lips with her own. Fuck, this feels so good being inside Reese with her body perfectly fitting mine. I fucking love this woman and everything about her. Reese is it for me. She is everything I want and everything need.
Dawson
“One more clip and you’ll be freed.” I look over to my left and find Reese with a smile as she stares at my casted hand. We’d been counting the days until I got the thing off and the day has finally come. “There you go.” The doctor pulls away what is left of the cast and immediately I start to flex my hand. The tingling sensation that runs through my wrist and into my fingers aches, but I welcome the pain along with the freedom.
“Things are looking really good, Dawson.” My doctor sits on the stool and lifts my file as he starts to scan over the paperwork. “Your scans show everything has healed the way it should and the notes from physical therapy show that you’ve gained full strength and mobility in your arm as well as your shoulder.”
I listen to him, but only faintly. My mind is going over all the things I’ll be able to do now. Each one of them involves the sweet redhead that is still smiling as she nods her head to whatever the doctor says.
Twenty minutes later, we’re walking out of my doctor's office, her hand linked with mine as I lead her toward my car. Once she is tucked inside, I close the door and jog around the front, crawling in myself. Reaching over the center console, I firmly grip the back of her neck and pull her toward me, sealing her lips with a kiss.
“You sure about this?” I watch her eyes, waiting for even the slightest amount of hesitation. We’ve talked over our upcoming visit with Renee for close to a week. She has repeatedly ensured me that she is okay with it, but I still question if she’s only pushing herself because she thinks this is something I need.
“She’s looking forward to seeing you.” I notice the way Reese immediately looks down, but I seek her chin with my thumbs and slowly nudge her upward.
“Honest?”
“Always,” I reply and wait for her to continue.
“I guess I’m still confused as to why she would want me there.”
“The only way for either of us to know that is to go there and find out.” I’ll admit I am a little curious myself.
We spend the drive across town with our hands linked together on my thigh. With one hand on the wheel, I continue to slide my thumb over the palm of her hand with my other. Sitting in the passenger seat next to me with her head laid back against the headrest, she finally relaxes as her eyes now hold a soothing look.
That look dissolves the minute I pull into the parking lot of the New Found Hope Clinic. I don’t push any further because I’ve given her so many opportunities to decline and back out. She insists that she’s okay, that this is fine.
While walking toward the front entrance and when waiting to be led toward the visitor's room, Reese attempts to pull her hand from mine multiple times. I refuse to break that connection I have with her, the one way I can assure Reese that I am with her, that we are a team.
The room we are placed in has various tables, each about five to ten feet apart. There is one massive wall lined with darkened windows that I assume is their way of watching patients and visitors during visits.
The room is empty of any decorations with only two televisions on both ends of the room. A few other visitors sit at the other tables around us murmuring amongst themselves. The entire atmosphere appears cold, stale even.
The sound of a door clicking and then a distant beeping gain my attention just as patients enter the room. They are all wearing similar clothing absent of ties, belts, or sharp inanimate objects. A knot forms in my stomach as I picture padded rooms with patients locked inside of them.
I’m just about to stand up and tell Reese this entire thing is a bad idea when I get a glimpse of Renee following closely behind a man twice her size. She still appears so frail and brittle, but there is a brightness to her now that she lacked the day I’d dropped her off here.
She notices me first and offers a smile just before her gaze shifts to my left and remains there for a few passing seconds. Reese’s hand again tightens around mine just before she tries to tug away. In response, I grip her tighter, slowly sliding our joined hands onto my thigh.
“Stop trying to let go,” I whisper and gain no response from her. But she doesn’t let go either.
Reese
I can’t look away, though I try. It is like I’m in a trance with my eyes glued to the woman walking toward us. I imagined something so different in my mind. I expected to see long flowing hair and a bright smile because Renee had always been attractive. It was her attitude that made her ugly in my opinion.
But Renee doesn’t look anything like the pretty woman Dawson dated. In fact, she is the exact opposite of the way I remember her. In place is a shell of the former Renee. Her once shiny blonde and perfect hair is now shorter, fragile, and so oily that it looks as if it’s been days since it was last washed. Dark circles reside beneath her eyes and red blotches paint her cheeks that appear to be covered with acne. She is free of makeup, but there is a desolate look about her that concealer won’t even hide.
“I’m glad you decided to come,” says Renee, surprising me. She hasn’t even taken the time yet to greet Dawson. “I was actually worried you wouldn’t show.” She offers me a kind smile, one that’s genuine, and my stomach tightens with even further guilt. While watching, she appears on guard as if she’s already prepared for me to be cold and callus.
“You look like you’re doing better.” Dawson breaks the momentary silence, and I’m finally able to look away from her baby blue eyes.
This was better?
“I feel so much better,” Renee insists as she sits down on the chair opposite us and toys with the sleeve of her shirt. Just beneath the hem, along her wrist, is a faint reddened scar that instantly brings tears to my eyes. This scar is a sure sign of her struggles, just further evidence that she hasn’t lived the last couple of years in bliss. Remorse sets in again.
Suddenly, I want to apologize to both Dawson and her. An internal battle wages inside me. I am too torn between the idea of her sadness and the knowledge that—despite her hard times—she is still the woman who was once been intimate with the guy I love.
“You two really do look good together.” I lift my gaze away from her wrist to meet hers once more, realizing that my facial expression doesn’t conceal my shock. “I think I always knew in some way that the two of you would end up together.”
I look at Dawson, only to find him smiling at me, as if to say ‘see I told you so.’
“You’ve got a good guy in him,” declares Renee as I refocus my attention back on her. Dawson still holds my hand firmly in his, providing continuous comfort to me even though I tried to fight his hand away many times earlier. “But you know that already. I think you’ve always known that Dawson was yours.” A settled smile remains on Renee’s face, not forced or fake, which makes her words meaningful. “I want to apologize to you and thank you.”
Shock registers as she speaks directly to me.
“Before when I was around,” she says, looking down for a second, like she feels ashamed to even bring up that time. Dawson squeezes my hand as I continue to watch her. “Even when I was terrible to you, you never treated me differently. I knew you wanted to, but you were nothing but accepting, classy and strong. You tolerated me, and that meant turning a blind eye when I acted like I was so much better than you. The truth is, Reese, I was always envious of you.”
“What?” It is the first time I speak since she walked in the room but I can’t stop myself. What could she possibly be envious of concerning me?
“You have such an amazing spirit. You see the good in people even when they don’t see it in themselves. Dawson does too. I think that’s one of the many reasons why the two of you are perfect for each other.” Oh Renee, I didn’t expect your words to bury themselves in my heart.
I nod as I register shock from her kind words and her confirmation that Dawson and I are perfect together. It’s almost too much to take. Nothing about this visit is what I expected.
“I’m sorry for all the awful ways I treated you, and most of all I’m sorry for any trouble I may have caused between you and Dawson. I didn’t know where else to turn, but when he told me about the two of you, I wasn’t surprised.” She shifts her gaze to him, but only for a couple seconds, before she looks back at me. “The way his face lit up with just the mention of your name, it was the same look he’d get before when I used to listen to him tell stories of your childhood together.”
My heart feels heavy but I have to ask: “Why are you telling me this, Renee?”
“Because I want you to see what I see—then and now.” Her eyes shine with unshed tears, and suddenly I realize that I am right. She still holds feelings for him, but she’s accepted that he’s moved on with me. "I want you to realize just how in love he is with you, how you’re all he sees. Even when he’s helping someone else, me or anyone for that matter, I truly believe that subconsciously he does it with you in mind.”
“He doesn’t have to prove that to me.” I’ve always known that beneath his cocky exterior he has an astonishing soul.
“He never did. You two have always been so in sync.” She shrugs her shoulders and glances between Dawson and me. “Even when you didn’t see it, everyone around you could. I know that you probably came here today thinking that in some way I would be attempting to win him back, but it’s not that. I just needed a friend,” she softly says as her lower lip trembles. “I needed help. Besides, anyone that attempted to come between what the two of you had or have would be only left lonely and disappointed. You two are a team; you have been since you were kids. The bond you share is beyond breakable.”
I feel my own tears begin to form.
“Thank you,” I whisper with a shaky voice. “I hope everything turns out well for you, Renee, and you find your own happiness.”
“My problems started long before my addiction. But I'm working on those too.”
“You’ve been quiet,” Dawson states as he sits down in the empty space beside me on the couch. I look over to find him with a concerned look on his face. “You okay?”
I shake my head, still trying to make sense out of all the things racing around in my mind.
“Talk to me,” he sounds slightly panicked.
Unable to stop myself, I tuck my legs underneath me and use them as leverage to crawl over his lap. He, of course, only widens his arms, welcoming me without hesitation. “I’m sorry .” I wrap my arms around him and bury my face into the crook of his neck. “I’m so, so sorry.” My chest feels tight as he holds me in return. He kisses my forehead, my cheek and that space just below my ear.
“You don’t have anything to be sorry about.”
Immediately I start nodding before affirming, “Yes I do. I was awful about this entire thing.” I lift my head so that I can see his face. “I jumped to conclusions automatically, I assumed the worst. Even though you said there was nothing I still—” He stops me by cupping my face in his hands and pulling me toward him. Taking away any chance of my continuing, he presses his lips to mine.
A soft whimper escapes me as I relax against him. “That time has passed,” he whispers.
“But I—”
“It’s done , Reese.” Dawson looks me directly in the eyes, a moment of silence passing between us. “The entire thing could’ve been handled differently. But now all I want is for the two of us to move on. Together.”
I nod, because honestly, I can’t speak. I feel so many things toward him all at once that I’m utterly overcome with emotion. The way he looks at me without judgment, almost like I am flawless, makes me feel as though I am.
“All I wanna focus on now is us. Where we go from here. Nothing but us .” His thumb traces over the corner of my mouth, tickling my lower lip. “You mean the world to me, Reese . You were created for me, baby. It’s always been you.” My heart races, pulse thumping so rapidly, and I feel dizzy from its effects.
“I love everything about you,” I confess, “but the greatest thing is this.” I place my hand over his heart and watch him swallow hard, his throat bobbing, just before he places his hand over mine. “You are so unbelievably selfless as is your compassion for others. Even though I know it’s the man you are, it still takes my breath away.”
“You take my breath away.”
My heart is full, my love is great, and if I spend the rest of my life feeling the things I do at this very moment, I know how truly blessed I am.
Dawson
It never seems to fail that every time I sit back and just watch Reese, I am left feeling elated. It is still so hard to believe that she is actually mine. Her beauty . . . her grace . . . it’s astonishing.
She says I am selfless but she is the selfless one who’s led me to be the man I am today. Reese is the trigger inside me, the reason
for my desire to live life to the fullest. She gives me the drive to succeed and the strength to overcome any obstacle before me. She’s always given me these things but one gift stands above the rest. The biggest gift she’s ever given me is the one that matters most: her heart.
The memories we share, they didn’t just begin from the point when things shifted for us. We were and are lucky enough to have a lifetime of them. The good, the bad, and the ugly. We share them all; we are bound by them. Reese has always been my rock. She is the first person I need when things aren’t right and the one person I long to my share thoughts with whether positive or negative.
As I sit in a chair that is hell on my back, leaving my ass numb from the hard surface, I can’t even begin to describe the pride I feel. Her dad sits at my side, the both of us staring up at the gorgeous girl holding her diploma in her hand. The woman who is all mine. Just as she steps away from the pedestal, she glances in our direction, and I swear I feel the air rush from my lungs like I’ve been tackled by a linebacker. Her smile is breathtaking, one that still leaves me weak in the knees.
“She’s as beautiful as her mother was on the day I’d met her.” I look over at her father to find him staring up at his daughter, his eyes glimmering with pride. “It’s like living that moment all over again. The day I looked up on stage and saw Beth staring back at me. A smile just as bright, excitement pouring off her. Beth had so many dreams, so many things she wanted to see and to do, but Reese was her biggest dream of all. She wanted to be a mom more than anything, and though it breaks my heart that she’s not here to see this day, I can almost feel her here. The pride she’d have for our daughter.” I know her father is proud, but this moment is also bittersweet. He longs for his wife, his soulmate, the one that he’d been robbed of too soon. Still, her father remains happy that his daughter has turned into the woman he and his late wife always hoped she would.