Never Let Go (Haven, Montana Book 2)

by Jill Sanders

  He focused on shredding the chicken piece smaller, to avoid meeting his mother’s eyes. “Was that it?”

  “Of course it was, what else would it be?”

  “Where’s Trisha?” He glanced around.

  “She’s having dinner with Kristen and Tyler tonight,” his mother said as she finished putting the dishes in the drying rack.

  “Was that a date?”

  “I’m not sure what that was. I ran into Tony at the grocery store and he asked me to dinner. I offered to cook, so he came over.”

  “You had candles,” he said, glancing over at the long white stems that were now blown out.

  “Sometimes candles are nice.” His mother sighed. “It’s been almost a year,” she said, wrapping her arms around him.

  “I know.” He ran his hand over her hair.

  “Don’t be upset because I like a little attention.”

  “I’m not,” he said. “I like Tony. Really,” he emphasized when she snorted. “It’s just . . . it’s hard to think about . . .” He shook his head. “Never mind.”

  He howled with pain as his mother pinched his side. “There, now remember that pain every time you think about . . .” Her eyes narrowed.

  He chuckled and rubbed the red spot.

  “Now what are you doing here?” she asked, getting back to the dishes.

  “I was here for clean clothes and a long hot shower, but I settled for clean clothes and a quick hot shower.”

  “Trailer life not suiting you?” she asked.

  “Addy has a lot of things to think about. She says she needs some space.” He tried not to let his frustration about being pushed away show on his face, but the fact was he was starting to lose his mind and patience.

  His mother moved closer to him. “Well, while you’re here, you might as well eat these leftovers and talk about it. Grab a plate.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Addy enjoyed showing Estelle the ropes. The woman was a natural organizer, and Addy only had another week before her time was up. She knew once she informed everyone of the McGowans’ intentions, the group would most likely be moving on to join the rest of the FREE members.

  She hadn’t had too much time to stop and think about her own future. Other than she knew she wanted to keep a close eye on her mother for the first few months.

  She had received word that her mother had called the library and scheduled her first volunteer day.

  When she told Trent about her plan, he’d told her how proud he was that she’d done something so wonderful.

  She was coming back to her trailer from Estelle’s tent late one evening when she bumped solidly into Brian.

  His hands went to her shoulders. Instantly her guard went up. She tried to take a step back, but he held on to her. She’d always tried to avoid being with him alone since he usually gave her the creeps.

  “I . . . um, heard about your old man,” he said, loosening his hands slightly. He wasn’t hurting her, it’s just that she didn’t like being so close to him. “I’m sorry. I know how hard it is. Dealing with suicide.”

  This behavior was so out of character for him that it took her a moment to remember that his own father had killed himself long ago.

  “Thank you,” she said, relaxing slightly.

  Just then, footsteps sounded close by and Trent walked onto the path. His instant frown when he saw the two of them dimmed her smile. Then she realized Brian was still holding her arms.

  She took a step away and toward Trent, instantly blocking him.

  “Brian was just talking to me about my father. Saying he was sorry.” She reached over and took Trent’s hand. His entire body tensed, ready for a fight.

  “Don’t get all bent out of shape, McGowan,” Brian sneered. Gone instantly was the thoughtful man who’d just talked to her, replaced by someone who was ready for a fight. “I’m out of here.”

  She tugged on Trent’s arm as she threw a “Good night, Brian” over her shoulder. He’d already disappeared quickly into the darkness.

  “What did he want?” Trent said when they reached the trailer.

  “Like I said, I just bumped into him. He was sorry to hear about my dad.” She opened the door and climbed inside.

  “That man has been trouble since the day he was born.” Trent moved over and sat down.

  She shook her head at the frown on his face. “I’ve been handling Brian since long before you gave me a second look,” she said as she grabbed a bottle of water to cool her sudden temper down. “Just because you now have eyes for me doesn’t mean I can’t handle a little unwanted attention.” She put her hand on her hip.

  “He’s an ass,” he growled.

  “You used to be an ass too.” She walked over to the fridge to look for something to eat.

  “That was different,” he said.

  “Oh?” She glared at him, then pulled out her gallon of ice cream and started scooping some into bowls. “How so?” Anger food. Maybe the ice cream would work better than the water.

  “I wasn’t a psychopath.” He crossed his arms.

  “I don’t think Brian is either. I think he’s just . . .” She set Trent’s bowl down and tilted her head, thinking about it. “Misguided.”

  Trent laughed sarcastically. “Right.” He nodded toward the gallon container. “Why are you having ice cream?”

  “Well, initially it was because my mother showed up last night for Bonco and I was going to celebrate. But now it’s because you pissed me off and I need something to cool myself down with.”

  “What the heck is Bonco?” he asked, breaking her angry streak.

  She was thankful the conversation moved to her mother and away from Brian for the remainder of the evening.

  By the time Trent left her place, she felt like everything had taken a turn for the best.

  Her life really was starting to feel like she knew where she belonged. The fact that it was with Trent McGowan was still cause for concern. Sure, she was starting to trust him more and more, but there was something deep down inside her that struggled with allowing him in all the way.

  That weekend started out like shit. Bessy was acting up. It took Trey and Trent almost two hours to change out a spark plug, which happened to cause Trent to bang his knuckles more than a half dozen times. Now he had bloody knuckles and a sour attitude.

  By lunchtime, the rain had started and his mood went from sucky to worse.

  Just as Trent finished up his cold turkey sandwich and stale potato chips, Addy drove up. He slogged his way to her muddy Jeep in the rain.

  “What are you doing here?” he asked, as she rolled down her window.

  “I came to help with the work,” she said, glancing around his land.

  “I think our workday is a wash,” he said to her through the opened window. “Why don’t you head back? We’re just going to try and finish things up so the electrician can do his job tomorrow.”

  She surprised him by getting out of the Jeep and smiling. “I’m not going to let a little rain spoil my time.” She checked out the sky. “Besides, it looks like it might clear up in a few minutes.”

  “You don’t have to get all wet and muddy . . .” he started, but she was already walking to where his brothers sat huddled under a makeshift tent, finishing their own lunches.

  “Well,” she said, stopping in front of them. She was wearing an older pair of jeans that hugged her in places he had to stop and admire. She wore a rain slicker, and a black cap covered most of her head. Her hair was tied back in a tight braid that fell to the middle of her back. She looked ready to work and prepared to get muddy.

  “Really,” he said, catching up to her. “I think we can handle . . .” He dropped off when she turned and gave him a look that said he wasn’t getting rid of her anytime soon.

  “Where do you need me?” she asked.

  “You can drive Bessy,” he suggested. At least that way she’d be inside a glass case out of the rain. Besides, he’d finished most of the hard work alread
y. The land where his house was going to sit had been cleared. The foundation smoothed out. They had cleared a small patch where her trailer would sit; all they needed to do now was spread the gravel that had been delivered earlier that morning.

  The electrician was due to arrive first thing in the morning and set up a hookup for the trailer before starting on the main house power cable.

  The well had been finished, but the plumber was currently installing a fresh-water line and drain for the trailer.

  Trent figured that after the house was in, they could keep the trailer parked in the spot full-time. He might even build a small covering later for it to sit under.

  “Really?” She turned to the machine and smiled.

  “Of course, you’ll need some schooling first.” He took her hand and walked with her over to Bessy. He helped her up into the machine, then climbed in after her. When he shut the door, he smiled down at her.

  “See, this feels nice and cozy. I knew you two would like each other.”

  She chuckled and pushed his knee playfully.

  “Show me how this beast runs.”

  “Oh, now, you’re going to hurt her feelings. She’s a sexy little thing.” Trent flipped on the ignition and had Bessy purring. “See, she likes you.”

  Addy rolled her eyes. “What do I do?”

  For the next half hour, he taught her how to push the gravel into place. He and his brothers had set up stakes earlier for the gravel area, and by the time he jumped out of Bessy and left Addy alone to finish the job, she was an expert.

  “She’s pretty good at that.” Trey slapped him on the back. It had stopped raining less than fifteen minutes after Addy showed up. Now the sun was shining and burning Trent’s neck and arms. He pulled on a hat to keep most of the sunshine out of his eyes as he helped chop and haul the wood to the massive pile they had going.

  “You’ll have plenty of firewood for years to come.” Tyler twisted to stretch his back. “We both will.”

  “How’s it going over there?” Trent asked Tyler. He felt bad that he hadn’t been able to help his brother out more, but he’d been so busy trying to get his house ready he had spent less and less time over at his brother’s land.

  From where they were, he could just make out the double-wide trailer Tyler and Kristen lived in. He knew that he would be able to see their house once it was done.

  “Electric and plumbing are in, and we’re ready to pour the foundation.” Tyler looked up at the sky. “As soon as we can guarantee the weather.”

  “Yeah, we’ll probably pour at the same time. Once my place is set here, I’m all yours on my spare time.” Building a home was a hell of a lot harder than having a kit home set in place.

  “If you have any left. It seems to me that Addy would get a lot of your spare time,” Tyler joked as he walked away.

  By the time Addy was done leveling the gravel, Trent put her on the job of clearing the road. The rain had caused several sinkholes, and he sent her off down the pathway to make sure they were smoothed out before the second load of gravel was delivered next week.

  He was thankful she had a Jeep so she could get in and out of the area until he could get the entire pathway smoothed out. The fact that it was almost a quarter of a mile had caused him some headache.

  At sundown, he rode with Addy back to his mother’s house since she had planned on a big dinner for everyone. He let Addy use his shower first and then climbed in after her to rinse off.

  When he walked into the kitchen, it was to a room full of laughter, including Addy’s. She was hugging her legs against her chest as she sat with her back against the fireplace. Her long hair was still damp from the shower and her face was clear of any makeup. She looked amazing. She looked right.

  When she noticed him, she patted the spot next to her on the stone hearth and scooted over. He walked across the room and sat next to her.

  “Your mother was just telling us about the time the three of you got into it with a skunk.”

  “It was Trey’s fault,” Tyler said. “He wouldn’t stop trying to get the cat to come to him,” he said, laughing.

  “What did I know? I was six,” Trey chimed in, chuckling.

  It felt good, so good, to have his family there, to have Addy by his side. Even now, Kristen and Trisha had become so much a part of the clan that they felt comfortable adding to stories or poking fun at the three brothers.

  He could tell Addy had loosened up by the end of the evening to where she truly felt part of his family. He couldn’t explain what that did to him. How it made him feel. Other than that he wanted more.

  As they drove back to her trailer, she filled him in on Estelle’s progress.

  “She’s as ready as she’ll ever be. Actually she is in a much better position than I was. I didn’t have someone to walk me through all this,” she said, pulling the Jeep to a stop. “It wasn’t as if Beau or Joy had enough time to show me the ropes. We were busy in California fighting to save the condors.”

  “I bet that was amazing. I’ve only ever seen one on TV.”

  “They’re bigger than they look.” She turned to him and smiled. “I never thought I’d be scared of a bird, but . . .” She shivered visibly. “They’ve got almost a ten-foot wingspan. Just watching them . . .” She sighed. “They’re almost prehistoric.”

  She’d done and seen so much since leaving Haven. He realized he’d squandered his short time away from the town. He hadn’t done anything except focus inward. He had never really set out to help anyone other than himself. She had touched and helped so many others that he couldn’t even begin to appreciate how wonderful she was. His hand tangled in her hair, gently tugging her toward him over the center console until they touched lips.

  “You’re amazing,” he said softly next to her skin.

  “Why? Because I fight for birds?” She gave him a teasing smile.

  “No, because you fight for what is right. You make the world a better place for birds . . . and for me.” He kissed her again.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  Addy lay in Trent’s arms that night, unable to sleep. Her mind kept playing over the wonderful evening she’d had with his family.

  She could tell that they were a unit. Completely connected in every way.

  She had wondered her entire life what that would feel like. Did he know how lucky he was? How lucky they all were to have one another?

  Would she ever feel that way herself? Could she feel that way with Trent? What was still stopping her from accepting that he was good for her?

  Thoughts of her mother kept surfacing.

  So far, in the past week, her mother had been trying. Addy had contacted a few of the ladies who played Bonco and asked them how it went. Everyone gushed at how wonderful her mother had been. She’d even brought a dessert to share.

  Which was one of her mother’s classic ingratiating moves. But Addy was still willing to wait and see how she handled her first volunteering job.

  It was strange. The more she thought about it, the more she had been forced into a maternal role in that regard. A month ago, Addy would have been solely focused on how her mother made her feel, how she’d done or said something to hurt her. Now she didn’t even think about that side of their relationship. Her main goal was to mold her mother into a better person.

  There were two more days until the end of the month. She didn’t tell Trent, but she was feeling kind of anxious about moving onto his land.

  She’d even considered moving her trailer to her mother’s driveway. But as soon as the thought surfaced, she’d rejected the idea. The farther away from her mother she was right now, the better.

  For the past few years, Addy had lived in parks, next to a group of people she knew. If she needed something, she only had to step out her front door and ask someone.

  Trent’s land was miles from anywhere. Sure, Kristen and Tyler’s place was about a mile across the valley. Gail and Trisha were a little farther away. All of them less than five minutes away by
car.

  But the thought of being alone out there was different than she was used to. Though if she expected her mother to change, so could she. Since she’d left Haven, she’d kept people at arm’s length. Never allowing herself to grow close to anyone. Maybe now she could afford to let someone in. Someone like Trent.

  Addy spent her last two days working for FREE filling in the small group on the next assignment in North Dakota. She was asked several times why she was looking ahead when things still hadn’t been settled with the McGowans.

  “They close on the land in two days,” someone said in the small meeting that following evening.

  “I understand. Part of my job”—she glanced over to Estelle and nodded—“part of our job is to always have the next location prepped and our team prepared. I’ve been assured that in two days, the McGowans will hold a small press conference to let the public know what their intentions are with the land they have purchased. We’ve agreed to hold off until we know more.”

  “Does Beau know?” Brian asked.

  “Yes.” She looked in Brian’s direction and smiled. “After having a meeting with Trent McGowan, it was his idea to go into a holding pattern. Now since tomorrow is my last day, Estelle has baked cookies and provided drinks.” She smiled. “So if there is no further business . . .” The small group remained silent so she motioned for everyone to enjoy the food set out.

  She walked with Estelle to the back table and knew instantly she wasn’t going to be able to avoid Brian.

  “Do you have a second?” he asked, holding a small plastic glass and a cookie in his hands.

  “Sure.” She nodded toward a set of chairs, but he set the cup and cookie down and opened the flap of the tent.

  She held in a sigh and followed him outside into the darkness. He continued to walk until they were a few feet from the tent.

  “What’s up?” she asked when he finally stopped.

  “I wanted to say that I was sorry.”

  “For?” she asked.

  His eyes avoided hers. “I was pretty sure I knew what path I wanted to go down in life.”