Rider's Revenge (The Rider's Revenge Trilogy Book 1)

by Alessandra Clarke

  When she was done, she sank to the sands, exhausted.

  She was in the Lady's land, but she didn't hear the music of the Moon Dance. Not tonight.

  She just wanted to go home. To the real desert. To her mother and sister and, yes, even her brother.

  Chapter 55

  K'lrsa's days fell into a long, grueling routine.

  Each morning as the sun rose, the poradoma arrived to dress her. First, Sayel would fasten the meza to her fingers and then they'd smother her under layer after layer of beautiful fabric, each one fastened with its intricate ties or hooks, the fabric soft and silky against her skin, finer than anything she'd ever felt.

  Next, one of the poradoma would help her sit and feed her a breakfast of fresh fruit, nuts, and bread. She was eating more than she ever had in her life and it showed in the way her hips and thighs were broadening. Just a bit. Just enough to notice.

  She'd never cared about her figure before. Her body served her purpose and if it didn't serve her purpose then she trained until it did. She'd been strong and lean when she was captured, her body honed to what she needed to survive in the desert.

  But the poradoma didn't want that. They had lengthy discussions about whether they should allow her to gain a small amount of weight or whether they should start restricting her meals to keep her looking like she had when she first arrived.

  Which would her Daliph prefer? Did he like her exotic slender form? Or would he prefer a woman more like the others, curvy and fleshy? And what to do with her muscles? A woman so muscular was unseemly.

  She tried not to listen, but each night as she studied herself in the mirror, the things they said about her body crept back into her mind.

  After breakfast they made her practice walking. Then Sayel would lecture her on the history of the Daliphate or drill her on proper behavior.

  Through it all, Herin sat in the corner, watching them like a grel waiting for its prey to die. K'lrsa kept silent, knowing the woman wanted her to fail.

  And then? Then she'd be sold off like the property she was. Where and for what, she didn't know.

  After a brief stop for a meal at midday, they would spend the time until dinner drilling her on more history and etiquette. Finally, after Morlen or Sayel or Tarum had shoved her dinner into her mouth, they left her alone to collapse in exhaustion.

  Herin, Garzel, the poradoma, and the occasional slave were the only people K'lrsa saw. During the day she was absolutely, never, ever allowed close enough to the windows to see anyone or for anyone to see her, and the windows were fastened shut before she was left alone each night.

  Badru never came to see her. And she didn't dare ask Herin about him.

  She saw him in her dreams some nights, but the music of the Moon Dance was gone. More often than not if she arrived in the Lady Moon's land before him, she turned and walked away into the empty desert, alone. She craved silence and solitude.

  She tried to learn what they wanted her to learn, but it was hard.

  Everything they wanted her to do or say or not say was contrary to who she was. She'd never lowered her eyes for anyone. Would never think to stop herself from speaking her mind. Had always done for herself, never looking to anyone else for help.

  She reminded herself, every morning, why she was doing this. To kill the Daliph. To avenge her father and herself.

  But holding to her purpose, keeping her anger alive enough to make it through each day, was almost impossible.

  When she thought of her father, which she did each night before she went to sleep and each morning when she awoke, she was more often sad than angry. Even picturing how he'd looked at the end wasn't enough to drive her hatred anymore.

  Lodie had been right.

  Revenge in the moment was easy. A cold revenge was not.

  She forced herself to practice the hundred and five attacks each night, relishing the feel of movement, of kicking and slashing and cutting her enemies. She pushed herself until sweat shone on her skin, imagining over and over again the sound the Daliph would make as he gasped out his last breath and died at her feet.

  After enough days, even those images weren't enough to drive her forward.

  She just wanted it to be over.

  Chapter 56

  K'lrsa lost count of how many days passed. More than ten. Less than sixty. They were all the same, blending into a never-ending blur where she felt herself slipping away more and more with each day. It was almost habit now to look to the floor and silence herself.

  She couldn't sleep. She didn't want to dream of Badru or wander through her hazy memories, searching for the reason she'd come here.

  It was the middle of the night when she rose, her only clothes the two thin strips of cloth she'd taken to wearing at all times to protect her modesty. Tarum still leered at her a bit too much and his hands still lingered a little longer than they should when he helped to dress her, but it helped a bit. And she'd take every bit she could.

  She lit a lamp—just enough to see by—and started working through the hundred and five attacks. She was exhausted and tired and heart-sore, unable to find the balance she needed to truly flow from one to another.

  She knew she should stop before she hurt herself, but she didn't care.

  She didn't care about anything anymore.

  She was just starting the attack forms for a fourth time when her door opened and a man snuck inside, closing the door quietly behind him. He wore a heavy cloak that covered him from head to toe, the hood pulled over his face.

  K'lrsa landed softly, resting on the balls of her feet, ready to attack.

  "K'lrsa." The man threw back his hood. It was Badru.

  So beautiful, so golden and blue-eyed and smiling at her with such warmth.

  "Badru!" She ran forward and hugged him, forgetting that she was covered in sweat and not much else and that this was the Daliphate and not the tribes.

  He flinched away from her and she pulled back, staring down at the floor. "I'm sorry. I forgot myself." She felt blood rush to her cheeks and quickly threw her night robe on, covering herself. "I'm…I'm still learning your ways."

  That was part of it. But the other part of it was that touching him reminded her of bodies entwined under the desert sky, his hands moving along her body like fire.

  "Don't be. I, I liked it. I just didn't expect to find you so…" It was his turn to blush and look away. "Not like we haven't touched in our dreams."

  She forced herself to meet his eyes. The act felt bold and reckless after so many days spent staring at the floor in silence. But this was Badru, not the Daliph or his men. He wouldn't force her to look at the floor and remain silent. He loved her. Her. K'lrsa. A Rider. A warrior.

  "Dreams aren't reality, Badru."

  He took her hand. "But they can be." He ran his fingers down the side of her face and leaned in to kiss her.

  She knew she should pull away, but she didn’t. She was so lonely, so scared. All she wanted was to find comfort in him. She kissed him back, fierce and desperate, pressing her body against his.

  Once more she felt him draw back with surprise but then he answered her need with his own, pulling her against him, devouring her mouth with his own, his hands roaming along her body. He'd touched her like this before in the moon dream, but somehow, here, now, it felt so much more powerful and intense.

  His hands grasped her robe, pulling the fabric upward. She pushed him away and backed up so there was plenty of space between them.

  "No, Badru, we can't."

  He shook his head. "You've been listening to my grandmother. Just because she says we can't be together doesn't mean anything."

  He reached for her and she backed away. "No, Badru. I'm a dorana now."

  "I know." He smiled at her, continuing to advance.

  "We can't be together."

  He laughed. "Why do you think that?"

  "Once I'm trained, I'll be given to the Daliph."

  "I know." He smiled at her, still confused, still rea
ching for her.

  K'lrsa took his hands in hers and held his gaze. "I know dorana are eventually released to marry another, but that won't happen for me, Badru. I won't survive that long."

  He jerked his hands from hers. "What do you mean?"

  K'lrsa knew she should keep her plan to herself. She still didn't know how Badru fit into things. She still didn't understand the significance of his and Herin's wearing black while others wore brown or single colors.

  But Badru was the mate of her soul, the one sent to her by the Lady Moon. If she couldn't trust him, who could she trust?

  "I'm going to kill him, Badru. The Daliph. That's why I'm here. When they present me for the first time, I'll attack." She turned away. "I don't expect to survive it."

  Badru was silent behind her. She turned back to him. "You won't betray me, will you? You won't tell anyone?"

  Badru started to laugh and then stopped. "You're serious."

  "Yes."

  "You came her to kill the Daliph." He was half-smiling as he looked at her.

  "Yes. And I'm sorry he made me his dorana so that we couldn't be together, but it gives me my chance."

  Badru sat on the stone bench by the window, his legs stretched wide before him. "You can't."

  K'lrsa crossed her arms. "Yes, I can. And I will. You grew up in this vile place so you don't understand what women are capable of, but I can do this."

  "I wasn't saying that you weren't capable, K'lrsa. You have met my grandmother, haven't you? But you can't…you can't do this. And why would you want to?"

  K'lrsa paced back and forth as she told him the story of the Daliph's raiding party and finding her father. She cried as she remembered the horror of seeing her father staked to the ant hill—the act of having to describe that moment in words somehow reawakened her emotions in all their original intensity.

  Badru came to her and held her in his arms as she cried, rocking her back and forth and murmuring in her hair that she was safe now, she had him, he'd protect her.

  After she'd cried herself out, K'lrsa raised her head from Badru's shoulder and looked into his eyes. "I swore to my gods that I'd avenge him. That I'd kill the man responsible for my father's death and destroy the Toreem Daliphate."

  He smoothed her hair back from her face. "But the Daliph didn't kill your father. The men in that raiding party did."

  She pulled away from Badru to pace the room once more. "It was his men. If I kill them, he'll just send more. And more." She took his hand in hers, begging him to understand. "The Daliphate is destroying my people, Badru. They give us liquor and smokeweed and silk to betray our secrets. They make us forget our sacred trust. The Black Horse Tribe has led slavers across the desert. Slavers!"

  He frowned. "And for this you'd kill the Daliph?"

  "You have to cut off the head of the snake to kill it."

  Badru shook his head. "No. This is wrong. No."

  She stepped back, crossing her arms over her chest.

  "What if it wasn't the Daliph's men? Did you ever think of that?"

  "It was."

  "How do you know?"

  "They had swords and one wore the Daliph's colors. Plus, when he came to summon my father, L'ral said so."

  Badru tried to grab her hands, but K'lrsa backed away.

  "Maybe it was a trick, K'lrsa."

  K'lrsa thought of her father, dying, muttering the words, "Not the Daliph…" But no. He just hadn't wanted her to avenge him. Hadn't wanted his daughter to risk her life that way. She shook her head.

  Badru reached for her again, grabbing her hands. "I know the Daliph, K'lrsa. Very well. He didn't order this. His men didn't do this. He doesn't want to destroy your people. He wants trade, yes, and he's willing to pay for it in whatever goods the tribes want, but he doesn't want to destroy the tribes. He needs them."

  She pulled free and turned away from him. "No. You're wrong." She paced around the room again. "He still deserves to die. If not for what he did to my father, then for what he's done to me."

  "To you? He made you his dorana. Against the advice of everyone."

  She stared at him, realizing in that moment how different they were from one another. "You would think that's an honor, wouldn't you? Because you're one of them. You don't understand me at all."

  He shook his head. "What do you mean?"

  "It's not an honor, Badru. To be bound. To be kept from feeding myself. To be told I can't speak to anyone. That I have to stare at the ground lest I meet the eyes of some strange man. It's a curse, Badru. It's torture. He didn't ask if I wanted this, he just acted. He took away my life and I've never even met him."

  He stared at her, his mouth slightly open. "You don't understand, K'lrsa."

  "No, you don't." She shook her head. "Just go."

  "K'lrsa…"

  "Go. Get out. Now."

  When he hesitated, she said, "I'll scream until someone comes, Badru. Go. Now."

  He hesitated a heartbeat longer and then turned towards the door. "As you wish. But I swear to you on all my gods and my love for you, that you're wrong about this. About all of it."

  Chapter 57

  K'lrsa stripped off the robe so she'd be ready to fight when the guards came for her, certain that Badru would go straight to the Daliph with news of her plans. The Daliph was his ruler and friend. He'd have to tell him.

  And when he did, the Daliph would order her taken. Sold maybe. Killed even.

  She might've lost her chance to avenge her father, but if this was the end, she'd die fighting.

  But as night slowly passed and darkness was replaced by the first rays of the sun leaking through the window blinds, she realized that Badru hadn't betrayed her.

  He'd loved her enough to protect her.

  (Or thought her so incapable it wasn't even worth mentioning.)

  She dwelled on that thought as she waited for her poradoma to arrive for yet another stultifying day of practicing how to walk and talk as if she didn't exist.

  But instead of her poradoma, Herin stormed into the room, alone except for Garzel. "I should give you to the poradoma. You know that's possible don't you?"

  K'lrsa shook her head, exhausted from a night of wondering when they'd come from her. "What are you talking about Herin?"

  "Failed dorana. Ones who the Daliph rejects. Every generation or so it happens. And when it does the dorana is given to a poradom as a reward for him and punishment for her. She's stripped of all titles, all belongings."

  "Good thing I don't have any of those then."

  Herin slapped her, the blow so sudden and shocking that K'lrsa just stared at her.

  "You're a threat and a fool and I wish I'd killed you the day I met you."

  K'lrsa collapsed onto the stone bench. "So do I."

  Herin shook her head, pacing the room. "I knew you had a reason for coming here. I knew it." She glared at K'lrsa, eyes narrowed to little black points. "I just figured you'd followed the cursed dreams here, never even realizing you were walking into danger because you were so blinded by love.

  "It never occurred to me you were stupid enough to think you could kill the Daliph." She shook her head once more, clenching and unclenching her fists. "You and my sister…arrogant, foolish…I should kill you now."

  "So do it then."

  Herin glared at her and K'lrsa flinched.

  "Pzah. Must I be surrounded by fools? First the boy and now you."

  Garzel grunted at Herin. She nodded in reply. "I think you're right. It's the only way now. The only way forward if there is one." She gestured towards the door. "Summon her poradoma."

  Garzel left.

  "What are you planning, Herin?"

  She would not be given to Tarum like some sort of twisted prize. She'd kill him first. Or herself.

  Too bad the windows were still barred for the night. She'd heard that a fall from a height could kill a person. She didn't know what height, but she had to assume she was high enough.

  She tried to care about never having her
chance to kill the Daliph, but she honestly didn't.

  Somewhere along the way she'd lost that spark that had kept her anger burning. Now she was just numb, like banked coals—the spark still buried somewhere deep inside, but the fire itself gone.

  She'd only continued in this direction because there was no other path to take.

  Herin picked at something in her teeth as she watched the doors.

  "Herin. What are you going to do?"

  Herin glanced back at her, a half-smile on her lips. "I'm going to present you to the Daliph just like you wanted."

  "What? Why?"

  Herin snorted. "Don't smile, girl. I'm not doing you a favor."

  Chapter 58

  When the poradoma entered the room, their arms were draped with even more clothing than usual.

  Sayel smiled at her as he hummed a jaunty little tune. "I was starting to worry we'd never be able to present our dorana," he confided to Herin where she sat in the corner, her mouth fixed into a flat line.

  She quirked an eyebrow, but didn't say anything.

  He came to K'lrsa, placing his hands on both sides of her face. "Ooh. We'll need extra makeup to hide those dark circles, but you're so beautiful, he won't even notice. He's bound to love you at first sight."

  Herin snorted her opinion, but Sayel wouldn't be deterred.

  As Morlen and Tarum laid out her garments, he said, "You'll see, Herin. We've turned this fierce desert cat into a proper young lady."

  No they hadn't. They'd almost broken her—a few more weeks and she would have lost all sense of who she'd once been—but she was still a Rider. And now that she was finally going to have a chance to kill the Daliph she felt the flames of her anger stirring.

  K'lrsa allowed them to dress her, standing still as they placed layer after layer of brightly covered cloth on her body. She rehearsed the hundred and five attacks as they fastened the buttons and tied the ties that bound her tight, trying to figure out which ones would be possible given her ridiculous garb.