Australian Boss: Diamond Ring

by Jennie Adams

  ‘They should have kept us and looked after us.’ He uttered the words and realised Fiona was right about that. She was so right about that. ‘Our families. They should have wanted us. Loved us exactly how we were.’

  Fiona’s family should love her that way, but they didn’t. Why should Alex have been put into a shopping bag and dumped, or Linc knocked around and given up on? Why should Brent have been given up on because he had some perceived fault?

  People lived with autism and didn’t care who knew they had it. Brent had spent his life trying to hide it.

  Trying to hide from it.

  Wasn’t that what he’d done?

  He had, hadn’t he? He’d held Fiona in his arms, had been given the gift of loving her, and all he’d done was worry about a condition he was lucky wasn’t life-threatening. A condition that didn’t limit his work capabilities, that was compatible with his design work. That Fiona said only made him appeal to her all the more.

  She saw his autism as a gift, something that made him unique.

  So he was different?

  Fiona’s family treated her that way and her only crime was loving deeper and more, living life with her heart open to others.

  Brent had loved her in his heart, but he had rejected that love the moment he acknowledged it. He hadn’t let her in. And, by keeping that door closed, he’d robbed both of them of any chance of being together.

  What if she wanted that? What if he could convince her to take him on? What if the way she had loved him, given herself to him, had come from her heart as well as her senses? He could do this. He wasn’t Charles MacKay, nor should that man’s attitude and behaviour decide Brent’s future!

  He’d made a huge mistake. Was it too late to try to fix it? How could he fix it? Brent’s mind began to focus on the possibilities…

  ‘What’s going on, Brent?’ Alex’s broad shoulders hunched like the boy he’d been not so very long ago. That young-old child who’d got into trouble and needed his brothers so desperately, had needed to be out in the world with them, not in the orphanage waiting for Brent to get it together to rescue him.

  Brent had done his best, Linc had done his part, too, and they’d all made it. What if Brent and Fiona could make it, too?

  Linc leaned forward in his seat and his gaze searched Brent’s. ‘Alex is right. You’ve been a lot more off-kilter than usual lately. If you need a doctor—’

  The worry in Linc’s tone brought the words out of Brent when everything else wouldn’t have. ‘The only doctor I need is a “love doctor”.’ When his brother looked at him blankly, he went on. ‘Relationship advice.’

  Brent dismantled the items he’d lined up down the centre of the table, systematically set them back where they should be.

  ‘You fell in love with someone.’ Alex made a statement of the words, as though he wasn’t surprised at all.

  ‘Fiona. I’m in love with Fiona.’ Brent stabbed several pieces of bacon with his fork and slapped them onto his plate, dumped some eggs beside them, then pushed the whole lot away from him.

  ‘If you love her, you should go after her.’ Linc leaned forward across the table. ‘There’s no reason why you shouldn’t. Not a single reason.’

  ‘What do I know about women or relationships?’ What did Brent know about trust, or whether he could reach out? But he wanted to. Oh, he wanted to.

  ‘You told us we could work it out if we found the right woman.’ Alex pointed this out and pushed his hands into his pockets. ‘We’ve had Rosa in our lives. She’s a woman.’

  ‘Rosa’s great, but knowing her doesn’t exactly qualify me for loving Fiona and doing a good job of it.’

  ‘Everyone has to learn how to love.’ Linc’s words were surprisingly revelatory. As though he truly knew what he was talking about in this. ‘We’ve all…loved each other. How we are hasn’t mattered.’

  That was true, and Brent had been stupid not to acknowledge that fully a long time ago. He’d let Charles’s rejection of him convince him that no one in the world, aside from these two brothers, would ever be able to give and receive love with him.

  He’d told Fiona that he and his brothers would always be guarded, but with each other they weren’t. So maybe they wouldn’t be with other people. Significant people. People they…loved.

  ‘I never should have pushed you both out of that part of me. The autism. I shouldn’t have worried about hiding it at all. It’s not an indictment. It’s just part of me.’

  ‘At least you realise that now.’ Alex clapped him on the shoulder. ‘We have tried to show you that.’

  ‘I know.’ They’d tried, and he had pushed those efforts away until they’d given in and pretended to ignore the whole issue. ‘I just didn’t want to see. Now there’s Fiona. I have to figure out how to do this, and then I have to go find her.’

  He needed to go shopping. Urgently. And he knew exactly where he needed to shop.

  Brent walked away without thinking to say goodbye.

  His brothers didn’t seem to mind.

  Fiona had been painting in her living room listening to music when she received Brent’s mysterious call to meet him at the lookout on their favourite mountain trail.

  Well, it wasn’t their anything and she didn’t know where that thought had come from. But Brent wanted to discuss a new project. Perhaps he needed to show her some local flora or something in relation to it. At any rate, she’d made the trip, had been grateful to see pale blue sky above and no sign of snow. And now here she was, walking towards the lookout in jeans, a soft pink blouse, cream jacket—and with her mobile phone in her back pocket because she’d learned that lesson!

  Brent had come after her in these mountains, had worried about her safety. He’d been gentle and focused and she’d run because he’d seen her in her underwear and all her old fears and uncertainties had surfaced and she just hadn’t been able to take it. She’d loved him too much. And he didn’t care for her in the same way.

  Fiona took a few more steps and contemplated turning around and leaving. It was Saturday, after all. She didn’t have to work today, even if her boss had asked her to make an exception and give up this time for him.

  Her heart hurt. She loved her boss and she wouldn’t turn around because she worked with him, and she needed to be his employee and do a great job of that, just like being a ‘friend’ was something she did so well, giving out advice about relationships…

  Well, she wasn’t good at relationships and it was a wonder she’d ever thought she knew anything about them. She would resign from that particular position among her friends. From now on they would just have to work out their problems for themselves, because Fiona was not qualified to help them.

  Fiona trod the final stretch of path and caught sight of Brent standing at the lookout railing, his face turned towards the view. At the sound of her footfalls, he turned to face her. One hand was deep in the pocket of his brown leather jacket. The collar of his tan shirt wasn’t quite straight and he looked…both focused and uncertain at once.

  ‘I wasn’t sure if you’d come.’ Brent’s low words washed over her senses.

  ‘You said you wanted to discuss a project.’ Why discuss it here? Her heart couldn’t define the answer, could only take in his presence as she joined him at the railing and a deep, strong beat registered in her chest, as though being with Brent had brought her fully back to life when she’d only been existing before.

  ‘A project of sorts, yes. Did I disturb anything important when I rang you?’ Brent’s gaze searched hers.

  Behind them, mountains and valley glowed in gentle winter sunshine. Mist particles clung to tree branches and bushes and hung in the air, turning the panorama a beautiful warm blue-grey. Fiona nervously ran her hands down her thighs and forced herself to stop the motion. ‘I was just fiddling with a painting. If I could capture the beauty of this…’ She gestured towards their surroundings.

  ‘That’s why I chose…here for this.’ His gaze shifted to the view, and re
turned to her. ‘I knew at this time of the day the colours…would complement your eyes and that it would be beautiful, like you, and it’s quiet here, peaceful and tranquil, the way you make me feel inside myself.’ He stopped speaking, couldn’t seem to find what else he wanted to say.

  Fiona didn’t know what to say. His words made her feel beautiful.

  A moment later he cleared his throat. ‘Tell me what you were painting?’

  ‘Nothing specific. I was just seeing what emotions I could get out onto the canvas.’ So she could get them out of herself. And now he had said things that brought all those emotions to the surface once again. Her voice quavered a little as she went on. ‘Why did you ask me to meet you here, Brent?’

  Why here, specifically, as opposed to anywhere else? He’d said it was because of the colours and a lot of other things that didn’t seem to relate to business.

  And if they didn’t relate to business—

  ‘A similar reason to why you were painting.’ He hesitated and his gaze searched deep into her eyes. ‘Bringing you my emotions way too late and hoping…you might welcome them if I brought them to you here, where we could be by ourselves with nature and I could focus on you and be surrounded by plants and trees, things that help me feel calm and centred.’

  ‘I don’t understand.’ Her heart had leapt at his words, but she couldn’t rely on that particular part of her. It had led her into loving him, but it didn’t know how to make her stop.

  She didn’t think she could stop.

  Maybe he was finally ready to speak about his relationship with his father. That was emotional. Maybe Brent needed to unload that and it had nothing to do with…them. If so, Fiona would still listen. ‘Charles—’

  ‘Hurt a very small boy deeply, enough that it almost crushed that boy.’ Brent drew nearer, reached for her hands, gripped them in his and his thumbs stroked her skin over and over. ‘Enough that when that boy grew up, he told himself he couldn’t have normal relationships and blamed that on a condition instead of the hurt that was handed out long ago and blamed on that condition by the man who abandoned him.’

  ‘Charles walked away because he was too weak to be a father to you.’ Fiona’s mouth trembled as she spoke the words and her hands gripped his. She couldn’t help her reaction. She wanted to draw Brent’s head to her chest and hold him. Just hold him. ‘Not because he couldn’t cope with your condition.’

  Brent dipped his head in acknowledgement. ‘That’s right.’

  ‘There’s no reason why you couldn’t have…all sorts of relationships.’ She tried not to sound as though she needed him to think about a relationship with her. ‘You can have whatever you want.’

  He dipped his gaze to where his fingers stroked hers, clenched his teeth and stopped the motion. Only to shake his head and start it up again, as though he’d chosen to let himself, or to give her that touch that was uniquely his. ‘There’s only one person I want to build a relationship with now.’

  ‘Who…who is it?’

  ‘I think you know the answer to that, but I want to tell you anyway.’ His voice deepened as he went on and he released one of her hands and pushed his into his trouser pocket. ‘I don’t know how to tell you how I feel, or what you might feel in return. I’ll try to express it. I bought something…I’m hoping you might be able to feel something for me. I’m hoping you might be able, over time, if we spend a lot of time together and I work to show you how much I need you and love you…’

  An insecurity of hers that she’d thought she’d conquered rose unexpectedly. ‘My body shape and size…After we made love you didn’t like…’

  ‘I didn’t like what I’d done. Losing control, exposing aspects of my autism. Those stroking and kneading motions, the way I inhaled your scent over and over.’ His hand rose until it cupped the soft flesh of her upper arm in the most gentle of touches. ‘But you…you were so beautiful. You know that’s how I felt and what I saw. You have to know.’

  Fiona looked into deep green eyes and wanted to believe him. Oh, she did. ‘I’m large. There’s no getting away from it. I’ll never be dainty or petite or small. I try to dress in things that suit me, but Mum says—’

  ‘Your mother’s got no right to say anything other than how lovely you are, inside and out.’ Brent made a sharp sound in the back of his throat. ‘I don’t want them to hurt you any more, Fiona—your family. There must be some way—’

  ‘There is.’ She’d been thinking about that, too, and she’d taken her first steps. ‘I’ve called a family conference so I can tell them they’re not…meeting my needs. If they can’t hear that, can’t respond as I need them to, I’ll begin to draw some lines regarding my involvement with them. I’ve let that situation hurt me long enough.’

  ‘I want to come to that meeting with you.’ He wished he could protect her from having to do it, but he understood why she had to. And there was something he could do for her. ‘When it’s over, we’ll have a meal with Alex and Linc. They will love you, Fiona. If you…can be part of us? Of our family? If you can let me love you with all my heart and soul?’

  He realised he was getting ahead of himself and tried to explain. ‘I want…all that with you. For us to be a family. When we made love, I didn’t understand the feelings I had for you then, all the need and desire and tenderness wrapped up inside me and welling in my heart.’ He stopped and shook his head. ‘I lost control—because of the autism. Because I wanted you so much. I thought there was no way you could have…been okay with the repetitive touching, the way I smelled you.’

  Brent drew a breath. ‘Even when I thought maybe you were okay with those things, I thought back to how Charles had pushed me away. I got…angry. And resentful. All these old hurts that I’d never addressed rose to the surface and I realised I’d pushed them all down.’

  ‘Maybe you should take some steps where he’s concerned as well.’ Fiona made the suggestion with gentleness in her gaze, with nothing but acceptance and, dared he hope, with total love?

  Brent had made the same decision. ‘There’s no chance of reconciliation and, truthfully, I’m not prepared to open myself to him a second time when I see no chance of him changing at all. For me it’s more about putting his rejection in perspective. He had no right to abandon me the way he did; I didn’t deserve that. There’s a service available for separated family members; it’s government run. I’m going to make contact and book an appointment. I want the chance to tell him, that’s all—’

  ‘I’ll go with you.’ The words burst out of her. ‘I’ll go with you and when it’s over you’ll come home to me, to be with me. I love you, too, Brent, with all my heart, with all my soul. I spent…my life looking for you. I looked in paintings and artwork and faces and the world around me. I think somewhere deep inside I knew what I’d found when I first looked at your landscaping work. I knew I’d found…what my soul needed.’

  Brent squeezed her arm gently beneath his fingers, and his fingers shook as he touched her. His voice shook, too. ‘I love you, Fiona. I love you with all my heart. I want us to be together. I want to be at your side for the rest of your life.’

  He drew his hand from his pocket and there, at the edge of a lookout in the mountains, with towering trees all around them and mother nature providing a soft background of bird calls and the whisper of the wind rustling through grasses and leaves, Brent dropped to one knee before her.

  Between his fingers he held a diamond ring. Behind them, as he glanced from the ring up into her face, the sun brightened suddenly and gilded the mist that filled the air and kissed the treetops until everything turned golden and the ring glittered and sparkled while Fiona held her breath and kept on holding it.

  ‘I went to a jewellery store in the city.’ Brent’s fingers tightened on the ring and the green of his eyes deepened. ‘That day I waited for you to finish visiting with your mother and sisters, I saw this ring in the window and thought how pretty it would look on your finger. The diamond…it’s cut and set to look li
ke a particular type of everlasting—’

  ‘Daisy. The one we spotted here, with the golden spiky petals around the outside and the lovely white centre.’ Fiona completed the sentence for him. Indeed, they had spotted exactly those flowers when they’d first walked this mountain trail. She’d paused to admire the tiny sturdy blooms that managed to look delicate and yet were so enduring.

  ‘I wanted something that reminded me of you, and that would tell you how I feel about you.’ Brent’s gaze softened as he spoke the words. ‘You’re those daisies to me. Delicate and beautiful, steady and strong and I want to be what they represent, to you. I want to give you my love for ever, unfading, everlasting.’

  ‘I love you, too, Brent.’ With all her heart—for better, for ever—she loved him. Oh, she did!

  ‘You’re a good friend and a beautiful person.’ He took her hand in his and laid her fingers in his gentle clasp. ‘Inside and out. To me you are perfect.’

  Fiona finally believed it. A soft warmth swept into her cheeks. ‘I loved the things you…did when we made love. All those things. You don’t need to worry about that because you entrance me. Your focus and all of those things that are unique to you.’

  ‘Then…’ He drew a deep breath and his gaze held hers, deep moss-green to her robin’s egg blue. His fingers squeezed hers. ‘Will you marry me, Fiona? And live the rest of your life at my side in all the ways there are? Will you wear this ring for me and wear a wedding ring for me, and let me wear a ring for you? I don’t know how to do marriage. I don’t know how to manage even a serious relationship, but I love you and I’ll learn.’

  ‘Oh, Brent.’ Fiona stayed very still as he took in the expression in her eyes and slowly slipped the ring onto her finger and got to his feet still holding her hand.

  She slid her arms up and her hands cupped the sides of his neck and she sighed as his arms closed strongly around her. ‘Yes. Yes, I will marry you and we’ll learn together.’

  The ring caught the sun’s rays and reflected golden light from every facet of the diamond, and Fiona knew this was indeed the beginning of their everlasting love. Hers and Brent’s together.