The Returning Hero

by Soraya Lane

  Brett’s memories would forever haunt him—that last day with Sam like a scene from a movie playing on repeat sometimes—but he wasn’t ever going to give in to them. He had been part of Australia’s most elite special forces team, was trained in active combat, even how to deal with being captured and held by an enemy, and that training had instilled a strength in him that he wasn’t ever going to let disappear from his mind.

  The trouble was, that training had also taught him that there was nothing more important than his fellow soldiers, his men. And Sam had been his wingman, his buddy, the person he trusted with his life on a daily basis. Part of the family that he’d created after losing his parents.

  So did he maintain that loyalty even in Sam’s death, or did he give in to his feelings for Jamie and try to tell himself that that was the right thing to do? Because the broken, hurt look in her eyes when he’d walked away from her earlier might end up haunting him for the rest of his life, too. He loved her, there was no denying that, but he also had a loyalty to his family, and that meant respecting Sam even in death. What Logan had said was what had terrified him all this time with Jamie—words that he’d told himself before giving in to the way he felt. Before making love to Jamie and knowing it was so wrong, but also so right.

  Brett held up his hand to shield his eyes from the bright sunlight and started to walk, because he had nothing else to do and nowhere else to be. He just followed his feet, needing the time to think. He hadn’t been lying to Jamie when he’d told her how he’d felt that first time they’d met, or about how he’d come looking for her, and part of him knew that she deserved to know the truth about the past. About how he’d felt and what he would have done if she hadn’t already met Sam.

  That night, that first time they’d met, they’d spent hours talking. Two people at a party, not part of the crowd around them, they’d sipped champagne, laughed and talked like he’d never talked to anyone in his life before. And then his girlfriend had interrupted them, told him off for leaving her even though he’d seen her dancing and having fun without him, knew she’d been fine on her own.

  He’d walked away from Jamie, tugged in a direction that he’d known had been wrong, but knowing that he didn’t have a choice. The look in her eyes, the way they’d looked at one another, was a moment he’d never forgotten. His hand held by one woman, and everything else held by a woman he’d only known for less than a few hours.

  Ten minutes later, from across the room, he’d watched her leave, and the next time he’d seen her, she’d been laughing and in the arms of his best friend. Sam.

  Brett stopped walking and stared up at the sky, eyes adjusted to the sun now

  He’d fallen in love with Jamie from the moment he’d met her. So what if it wasn’t the right thing in everyone else’s eyes? If it wasn’t what he’d planned? He’d stood back and let his friend be with the love of his life, and now it was his turn, wasn’t it? It was his chance at a happiness that he’d never known, his time to see if he and Jamie could be together. Did it mean he didn’t love Sam like a brother, now that Sam was gone and he and Jamie had the chance to fall in love?

  If Jamie wanted him, then he was a fool to walk away, he knew that. Logan might be his friend, but Jamie could be the love of his life, the woman who’d be at his side for the rest of his life. And that wasn’t something anyone else had the right to tell him he should give up. Not Logan, and not Sam’s memory. Because no matter how much he respected his friends, he needed to respect himself and what was important to him, too. If they were truly his family, wouldn’t they want to see him happy?

  The only person who had the right to push him away and end whatever it was that had happened between them, was Jamie. He just needed to tell her that before she changed her mind and didn’t want him back.

  He’d spent so long worrying about what other people would think was right, about being faithful to those he loved, that he’d forgotten what was most important. What was right by Jamie. What would make Jamie happy.

  What would make him happy.

  And there was only one thing that could make him happy right now, and that was Jamie, in his life, in his arms.

  He wanted to give her enough time to think, to deal with what had happened, but he didn’t want to leave it so long that she thought he didn’t care.

  Brett headed toward a cafe he could see across the street and decided to have a late lunch, just sit for a while and eat, think about what he’d say to her. Because this could be the most important thing he ever prepared for in his life, and he didn’t want to screw up the one chance he might get to prove himself to Jamie.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  BRETT CROSSED THE street and looked at Jamie’s house. It was like the first day he’d arrived, when he’d been so uncertain about coming, about what he’d say to her, and now he was feeling just as awkward.

  Only this time, he actually had something to be awkward about. Not to mention something to say that he couldn’t even rehearse right in his mind, let alone out loud in front of Jamie.

  It was getting late but the streetlights raised the canopy of darkness. She would no doubt already be asleep, but he was ready to come back and if he didn’t do it now he might never do it. He’d needed to take his time, to think and be sure about the decision he’d made, and now there was no doubt in his mind that what he was about to do was right.

  Brett slid his key into the lock and turned it, quietly opening the door and shutting it behind him. Jamie had given him the key, willingly invited him into her home, but he still felt weird about just letting himself in and treating it like his own place. Especially after what had happened. She’d probably hear him and think he was an intruder, not expecting him to ever show his face again, and the last thing he wanted was to fuel her memories of what had happened in her childhood home.

  “Just me, Bear,” he called out in a low voice, not wanting the dog to attack him thinking he was a stranger.

  He walked through the house, flicked the light on in the kitchen, and it was then he heard the low growl. Brett looked around and realized the noise was coming from the sofa.

  “Hey, boy, just me. It’s Brett,” he whispered.

  The growl turned to a whine, and he stepped toward him so Bear could see him. His eyes adjusted to the half-light and he saw that the dog was snuggled up to, and protecting, Jamie. She was sound asleep, head tucked into a large cushion, blanket half over her, half over Bear. He knew better than to approach him too quickly.

  Brett didn’t want to wake Jamie and give her a fright, either, so he quietly moved toward the sofa, pulled the blanket up to her chin without disturbing her or the dog, then walked back to turn the kitchen light off. He made his way in the dark into the living room again and slumped down in the armchair. It wasn’t the most comfortable place to sleep, but he’d experienced far worse, and he wanted to be there when Jamie woke up.

  He didn’t want her to think he’d spent the night somewhere else, wanted her to know that he cared enough to come home and deal with what a jerk he’d been earlier in the day. And most of all, he wanted to be near her. This last week had made him feel alive again—being around Jamie and Bear—and he wasn’t going to give that up without a fight. Not to mention the fact that he’d finally been able to sleep since he’d been in her home with her. And if she asked him to leave in the morning? At least he could tell himself that he’d tried, that it wasn’t his own fear than had driven a wedge between them. He’d respect her choice no matter what she decided.

  Brett was starting to be thankful that he’d had the glass of bourbon, because without it, he may have ended up sitting awake all night. But the heaviness in his eyes told him he needed to sleep, and he wasn’t going to deny himself. Not with Jamie asleep on the sofa opposite him. There was nothing he could do until she woke up, which gave him a little longer before he had to pour his heart out and convince her that what he’d said earlier, the way he’d behaved, had been him acting way out of line.

  The
truth had been how he’d held her in his arms the night before, what he’d said to her these past few days. Today, he’d just been plain scared, and that wasn’t something he would ever have admitted to in the past.

  * * *

  Jamie woke to the sun shining on her face and a big body pinning her down. She could hardly feel her legs. When she opened her eyes it was to a large black nose, with Bear resting his head on her chest.

  “You’re squashing me,” she muttered, pushing the hair from her face, trying again to stretch out her legs and failing. He either didn’t hear her, or didn’t care, because he didn’t budge an inch and she was suddenly claustrophobic.

  “Morning.”

  Jamie’s heart stuttered into a superfast beat. Brett? What was he doing here? She locked eyes on him.

  “When did you get back?” She hadn’t been expecting him here, let alone waking to find him in the same room as her.

  “Ah, last night. But you looked so comfortable on the sofa so I left you there. Sorry if I woke you.”

  She pushed Bear off and stretched, making an attempt to push her hair down, knowing how terrible she must look. She’d curled up without washing any of her makeup off, so her hair was probably the least of her worries compared to her panda eyes.

  “You don’t have to make breakfast,” she told him, standing to watch Brett as he moved around the kitchen.

  His dark brown eyes met hers, and she couldn’t help but smile at him. This was Brett. No matter what had happened yesterday, he was still the same Brett she’d always loved as a friend, and now…what? She didn’t know how to describe what had happened between them, how she felt about this gorgeous, kind man cooking in her kitchen. But she did know that she didn’t want to lose him from her life.

  “I want to make up for yesterday’s lunch disaster,” he told her, cracking eggs into the pan as he spoke. “I know it’s going to take more than eggs to apologize, but it’s a good start, right?”

  Jamie nodded, smiling back at him, but she needed a moment to gather her thoughts, to be alone. To deal with the fact that she’d gone to bed thinking she might never hear from him again, and now she was about to sit down to breakfast with him. Thank God she hadn’t woken in the night and tried to attack him, thinking he was breaking in.

  “I’m just going to freshen up. I won’t be long,” she told him.

  Jamie headed for the bathroom and shut the door behind her. What she wanted to do was sink to the floor and feel the cool of the tiles against her skin, but she also wanted to hear what Brett had to say. He was either going to tell her he wanted to go back to just being friends, or that he wanted something more, and she needed to prepare herself either way. She wanted him here so badly, but she also had no intention of forcing him.

  Not to mention she was terrified of losing him as a friend.

  * * *

  Brett had been trying to rehearse what he was going to say, but the trouble was that he wasn’t entirely sure what he wanted to tell her. He put the eggs and bacon on the plates and walked them to the table, before returning with the toast and then the pot of coffee he’d freshly brewed. They said food was the way to a man’s heart—he was the hoping the same might be true for women. Or just one woman in particular.

  “It looks great.”

  He looked up as Jamie entered the room, watching as she first looked down at the table, then at him, before sitting. She immediately fingered the napkin he’d put beside her plate, as if she needed something to do, something to take her mind off what was happening or what they were going to talk about.

  “The scrambled eggs look so creamy,” she said, taking a mouthful and fluttering her eyes shut for a second as she swallowed. “And they taste really good.”

  “The trick is to not add any milk. Just whisk them all up and straight into the pan, and turn them off as soon as they’re almost cooked.”

  “So you know more than just pasta and sauce, huh? What happened to you being a one-trick pony?”

  Brett swallowed his mouthful and reached for a piece of toast. “One breakfast recipe and one dinner, that’s all.” He took a bite and watched her. “Now that you’ve tasted this, I don’t have any more hidden talents to wow you with. This is me going all out to impress.”

  Jamie smiled, but before she could reply he cleared his throat.

  “I didn’t cook you breakfast to brag about my skills in the kitchen, Jamie. I wanted to say sorry. To genuinely tell you how sorry I am for what happened and for what I said. I was a jerk and I never should have behaved like that.”

  She shook her head. “You don’t need to apologize. I should never have insisted we tell Logan, not so soon. It was stupid and I have no idea what I was thinking.”

  Brett put down his fork and leaned toward her, both arms on the table. “If we hadn’t told him we would have been lying, and telling him later would have been worse. He would have felt betrayed, so you were right. I just wish it had happened differently, and if I could do anything to change that, I would.”

  “So what are you trying to tell me?” she asked, picking at small bits of egg as she glanced up at him.

  “What I’m trying to say is that no matter how badly it went down yesterday, telling Logan was the right thing. He’s been with me, with us all, through thick and thin, and I don’t want to lose him. The way I reacted was unacceptable, but everything he said just kind of fueled what I’d been worried about all along.”

  Jamie was looking at her food, eating little mouthfuls like she wasn’t really hungry, but he waited her out, knowing she’d look up eventually. What he hadn’t said was that he didn’t want to lose her, either, but right now he wasn’t even sure she was his to lose.

  He picked up a piece of bacon between his fingers and crunched on it, never taking his eyes from her, and when she looked up he was ready. Or at least he was ready for the connection. What he wasn’t ready for was the bright blue of her irises, the way they looked as if they were bathed in water from the tears glistening in them, the sight of her bottom lip tucked under her teeth, like she was having to bite on it to stop from crying—it was almost enough to break his heart.

  “Why did you come back last night, Brett? Was it just to tell me that, or something more?”

  Brett put the piece of bacon down that he’d been holding and wiped his fingers on his napkin. This was his moment, this was the chance he’d been waiting for, and he wasn’t going to blow it.

  “I came back because I was a coward yesterday, and that’s not the man I am.”

  “I know you’re no coward,” she told him, a smile curving her lips and taking the sadness from her face. “You’re one of the bravest people I know, and the fact that you didn’t punch Logan back, and that you walked away from me? Neither of those things makes you a coward, it just makes you a person who doesn’t want to do the wrong thing by the people you care about.”

  “I deserved the bloody nose, it’s not that, but walking away from you?” He shook his head. “That was the worst decision I’ve ever made in my life, and I need you to know that I will never walk away from you like that ever again. I was stupid to let fear stop me from doing the one thing in my life that I’ve never been so sure about. How I feel about you.”

  Brett’s voice was husky, a deeper tone than it usually was. He pushed his chair out and moved around to Jamie, taking her hands in his and dropping to his knees beside her instead of towering over her.

  “You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me, Jamie,” he told her, staring into her eyes. “What we did, what we’re doing, it might not have been planned, but I’m going to fight for you if I have to. I don’t care who says no and stands in our way, if you want me here, then I won’t ever leave you. And that’s a promise I will never break.”

  Jamie had tears falling down her cheeks now in a slow, steady stream. “I only want you here if you want to be here,” she whispered. “I need to know how you feel about me.”

  She reached out and touched just under his e
ye, where he knew he was sporting a nasty black bruise. Her fingers were feather-light, tracing across his skin.

  “I’ve never wanted anything so bad in all my life,” he admitted. “Or anyone.”

  “I can’t lose another man I love, Brett. I can’t…” The words were low, almost a whisper.

  “I’ll promise in front of every single person we know if I have to, to make you believe me, but I will never, ever let you down Jamie. I’m here for you, for as long as you’ll have me. You’re my family, too, not just the guys.”

  Her fingers traced beneath his bruise again before reaching around to his ear, then to the back of his head. She pulled him toward her and leaned close, her face only inches from his.

  “I think I love you, Brett,” she whispered, tilting her mouth toward him, lips parted.

  He didn’t hesitate. Brett closed his mouth over hers, lips crushed to Jamie’s and moving just enough, drinking in the taste of her, the warmth of having her body and mouth pressed to his.

  He only pulled back because he had to, because he needed to tell her how he felt, too.

  “I don’t think I love you, Jamie,” he whispered, mouth hovering so close to hers as he spoke that her plump lips just touched his. “I know so.”

  Jamie held on to the back of Brett’s head, drawing him back to her again, her mouth taking his captive. He wasn’t going to stop her, but he did want to make things more comfortable.

  He dragged her hand from his hair, lips barely leaving hers, and slowly moved them down to the carpet, tugging her down on top of him.

  “Sorry about breakfast,” she whispered, as she put her hands on either side of his head to brace herself.

  “Screw breakfast,” he muttered as he flipped her on to her back, so he was braced above her. “I’ll take you over food any day.”

  “Oh, yeah?” Her fingers grabbed hold of a fistful of his hair.