Cant Let Go GO PL

by Barbara Freethy

  "Sweet deal."

  "I agree. I love sitting out on the deck in the daytime, watching the beachgoers, the surfers…"

  He shot her a quick, questioning look. "That's right. You said you'd seen me before."

  "From a distance. You stood out, because you were always alone. You were never with the other surfers. There might be some nearby, but you were on your own. It made me wonder about you."

  "You wonder about everything."

  "I'm a curious person."

  "It's easier to catch a wave when you don't have competition."

  "Is that the reason, or do you just dislike being close to people?"

  "That's the reason. I run a bar; I'm around people all day. Surfing is my time for myself."

  That made sense, but even though Griffin ran a bar filled with customers, there was always a little barrier between him and everyone else, except maybe Vinnie. He was the exception. He'd been let into Griffin's inner circle.

  She'd like to be the exception, too.

  That fleeting thought made her catch her breath, as she was once again caught up in her incredibly strong attraction to Griffin. He was such a handsome man with his thick, dark hair, perfect for running her fingers through, she was dying to taste his sexy mouth again. She knew that the body under the jeans and knit shirt was to die for. She'd seen him in a wetsuit. She'd also felt that powerful body over hers when he'd paddled her to shore on his surfboard.

  Clearing her throat, she said, "Do you want a drink or do you need to get going?"

  He hesitated, then said, "I'll take a water."

  She was both relieved and disappointed by his answer. She wanted him to stay, but she also thought getting him out of her apartment fast would be a better idea.

  Retrieving two bottled waters from the fridge, she tossed one to him and then she made her way over to the couch. Griffin followed, taking a seat on the sofa as well, but leaving a few feet between them.

  He propped his feet up on the coffee table and said, "You can really hear the waves from here."

  "They lull me to sleep at night. It reminds me of my childhood. I grew up in a house across the street from Ocean Beach in San Francisco."

  "You're a beach girl from way back."

  "Yes. But the Northern California beaches have a different feel; they're colder, the sand is rockier, and there's often fog and wind. It's not like down here. It's wilder."

  "I'll have to surf up north some time."

  "You should. It's definitely a challenge my brothers enjoyed. They grew up surfing."

  "Not you or your sisters?"

  "Kate used to go out. She was a tomboy. She liked to keep up with the boys, but Mia and I were more sunbathers. Actually, after a bad experience when I was ten, I didn't spend much time on the beach at all."

  "What happened?"

  "A friend of mine got swept out to sea by a rogue wave. She was rescued by my brothers, but for those few minutes when they were racing out to get her, and she was screaming and disappearing in and out of the waves, I was terrified. I didn't know how it had happened. One minute I was standing in the sand only a short distance from her, and then the ocean grabbed her and carried her away." She took a sip of water at the end of her story. "It was awful."

  "It sounds awful, but I'm glad she was all right."

  "I didn't go back into the water for eighteen years, not until…"

  His jaw dropped. "Seriously? The first time you went back in the ocean was last Friday?"

  She nodded. "I've spent the past few weeks watching all the fun everyone is having in the ocean and on the beach, and I decided it was time to put my fears behind me. I told you I was feeling at loose ends and kind of down on myself for my lack of a job. I needed a win. I thought beating back an old fear was a good way to get that win. I was actually enjoying myself for a minute. And then I heard you shouting. I felt something bump my leg right before you pulled me onto your board. I'm sure it was a shark." She shuddered. "I feel sick every time I think about what could have happened."

  "Just think about the outcome. You made it to shore."

  "Because of you." She gave him a thoughtful look. "I know you don't like to be thought of as a hero, but you were that day. It's not my opinion; it's a fact."

  He shrugged and swigged a long gulp of water. "I was on my way in to shore."

  "I know. You don't think it was a big deal, but I do. Anyway, I have no plans to ever go back in the water. I think the universe has made it clear to me that the ocean and I cannot be friends."

  "It's at least a million to one that it would ever happen again."

  "But there's that one…"

  "I can't imagine not going back into the water. The sea is rejuvenating. It's invigorating. It releases you from the world. It makes you feel alive."

  "Too alive for me. And wouldn't you be slightly worried about running into another shark? It's not like you had a surfboard made of steel."

  "Sharks are the least of my worries. I'll go out again as soon as they lift the restrictions. I like the challenge of the waves and the current. It's me against Mother Nature, a battle worth fighting."

  "Mother Nature could crush you," she said.

  A gleam entered his eyes. "That's why it's a worthy fight. Who wants to go up against someone weak? What's the fun in that?"

  "I don't see the fun in any of it."

  "Come on, you just said you were enjoying yourself until the sharks came around."

  "But that was just for a minute. And as usual, my luck turned bad."

  "As usual?"

  "You were right when you said you thought I was trouble…it does seem to follow me around. Look what happened today."

  "That wasn't because of you. That was my fault. I've been thinking about putting in some security fencing in that parking lot for weeks. I also could have made sure Megan stayed inside."

  "Have you ever had any other problems with the people who have stayed there?" she asked, curious to know more about his side operation.

  "Everything was fine for a long time. We haven't always had people stay in the apartment; sometimes they live nearby and just come to work at the bar. But about two months ago, a woman's ex caught up with her. We were able to protect her, and the guy went to jail, but it made Vinnie and I realize we were putting our staff and customers in danger. I told Paul we were going to take a break. I knew I needed to rethink our security before we continued. But then he showed up with Megan, and he wouldn't take no for an answer."

  It all suddenly made more sense. "That's why you were so angry when I met you. I thought it was just me you were pissed at, but it was Paul, too, wasn't it?"

  "It was. You were just another complication."

  "Will you do it again after what happened today? Will you take someone else in?"

  "I don't know. Vinnie and I are going to think about it."

  She wondered why his answer wasn't an unequivocal no. He'd already admitted that he'd put his staff and customers in jeopardy. "What do you have to think about?"

  "Whether the potential good outweighs the potential risk."

  "Does anyone else at the bar besides Vinnie know what goes on in the apartment upstairs? Justin mentioned to me that you help a lot of people who seemed to come and go."

  "Only Vinnie knows who they are."

  "Are you protecting someone else right now?" she asked, wondering if any of the other staffers were like Megan, but not staying at the Depot, as had been the case with some of the other witnesses he'd protected.

  "That I can't tell you."

  "Really? Why not?"

  "Because I can't."

  "Is Shari a witness to something? She has a haunted look about her. Although, maybe that's too obvious. Wait, is it Justin? He's such a California beach boy, no one would ever think he's on the run."

  "Whoa, put the brakes on, Annie."

  "Sorry. It's the curse of my imagination. I'm a storyteller at heart. It's what drives my art." She paused. "Maybe it's Vinnie. He looks like he
could have had a hard past with all those tattoos. Do they have a particular meaning?"

  "You'd have to ask him."

  "Danielle seems totally out there—bold, brassy, full of sarcasm and sass. But maybe that's just a cover."

  "Are you going to go through the entire staff, Annie?"

  "I might. I like mysteries."

  "Do you?" He finished off his water and set the empty bottle on the table. "Why?"

  "Because it engages my mind. I like to figure things out."

  "Does that include figuring me out? Do you think you can do that?"

  She felt like there was something deep behind his question, but she didn't know what. "I'm not sure if I could ever crack your hard shell. You're good at keeping people out. Why is that, Griffin? What makes you so secretive?"

  "Maybe I just like my privacy. Unlike you, I don't feel like sharing every thought the instant it comes into my head."

  She made a face at him. "I know I speak before I think sometimes and that can get me into trouble, but I just can't analyze every word that wants to come out of my mouth. That would be exhausting. Doesn't it make you tired?"

  He frowned at her words, and she had a feeling she'd given him something to think about.

  "For a man who likes the freedom of the ocean, you might want to consider how freeing it is just to say what's on your mind," she added.

  "You want me to say what's on my mind?"

  A nervous shiver ran down her spine at the challenging look in his eyes. "Sure, if you want to."

  "I'm thinking about whether I should go home or if I should kiss you again."

  She wet her lips with her tongue. "Okay…"

  "Now what are you thinking?" he asked, his gaze shimmering with all kinds of interesting possibilities.

  "I'm thinking that…you should go home."

  "Really?" he asked in a voice laced with disappointment.

  "I might be fearless when it comes to talking, but action is a little different. I'm not just scared of being swept away by the ocean… I think you could do the same thing, and I don't know if I'm ready. There was a lot of current when we kissed."

  "Then ride the wave, don't fight it."

  "Or I could just stay out of the water."

  "You're back to playing it safe?"

  She swallowed back the desire to say to hell with being safe, she wanted the ride… But she couldn't quite get herself there. "I think we should get to know each other better."

  "I thought you liked mystery."

  "I do, but I also like knowing who I'm riding the wave with."

  "I saved your life. Doesn't that earn your trust?"

  "Now you want credit for that?" she said, teasing him a little.

  He tipped his head, a small smile playing across his lips. "I took a shot."

  "I like it when you let down your guard, even if it's just to smile."

  "Why don't you show me how much you like it? I'll go whenever you want me to go, but in the meantime…"

  In the meantime suggested all kinds of delightful possibilities. "Can you keep the walls down for another second?"

  "I could do that."

  "Then…" She scooted next to him, put one hand on his thigh, and the other on his chest as she leaned forward to kiss him.

  The same electric tingle she'd felt earlier touched off a fierce firestorm of feeling.

  She leaned into the kiss, tracing his mouth with her tongue, delighting when he parted his lips and invited her inside.

  His arms came around her as he took the kiss deeper, as the heat enveloped them, as she felt that oh so dangerous current tugging at her body. She could easily get lost in this man. They were only kissing, and she wanted so much more.

  Griffin seemed to feel the same way, his hands creeping under her top, his fingers setting off more heat as he stroked her bare back, as his fingers slipped under the strap of her bra.

  Things were moving too fast and too slow—at the same time. Her body was going all in on the idea of getting to know Griffin in a very physical way, but her brain was screaming caution.

  She didn't know this man at all. And while she could probably trust him with her life, what about her heart?

  This might not be about heart for him, but for her, it always ended up in an emotional place. It was that reminder that finally made her pull away.

  Her breath came fast; so did his.

  She liked that he'd been as caught up in her as she was in him.

  "Damn," he murmured. "Your mouth is definitely good for more than just talking."

  "That sounds like an insult and a compliment at the same time."

  "Definitely a compliment," he assured her.

  "I want to say the same about you, but you actually kiss better than you talk."

  He smiled. "I'd probably agree with that."

  "You should go, Griffin."

  "I know. I don't want to. But I will."

  They got up, and she walked him to the door, already regretting that she'd called a halt to the most fun she'd had in a while. "I'll work on the designs tomorrow."

  "I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with." He paused. "Keep your doors locked, and if you see anything or hear anything out of the ordinary, I want you to call me." He took his phone out of his pocket. "Let's exchange numbers." After they did that, he said, "I'll check in with you tomorrow."

  "Okay. You don't really think I'm in any danger, do you?"

  "No, but I still want you to be careful."

  "I usually do play it safe, but I guess you figured that out."

  He leaned over and stole a surprising kiss. "Good-night, Annie."

  "Good-night."

  After he left, she flipped the lock and then leaned back against the door, her heart still beating a little too fast. She had no idea where things might go with Griffin, but she sure wanted to find out.

  Ten

  Griffin hit the beach Wednesday morning as the sun was coming up, choosing to surf on the southern side of the pier instead of the northern end that faced Annie's apartment.

  He didn't like this side very much. It was closer to the surf school, so there were a lot of beginners out on the waves. He was also finding that his rescue the week before had gotten around the surfing circles, and more than a few guys paddled over to him to ask him what had happened, what he'd seen, what it had felt like to be that close to the sharks.

  He tried to answer their questions and be friendly, but he was really missing his alone time on the waves.

  Annie had asked him last night if he just didn't like people. He'd dismissed that idea out of hand. He worked at a bar. He volunteered at Hamilton House. He was around people all day and all night. On the other hand, most of those people were customers or employees, or kids needing someone to care about them. They were not real friends. The only person in San Clemente who knew anything about him was Vinnie, and even their relationship had boundaries that both of them respected.

  He'd dated a few women over the past couple of years, but none of those relationships had gone deep. It had just been about sex and fun—for both parties. He didn't mess around with women who wanted deep conversations.

  Which brought him back to Annie…

  Kissing her had been like walking into a fire. That red hair. Those green eyes. That sexy, sweet mouth that seemed compelled to not only question him but tell him everything she was feeling. He didn't know how to handle all that honesty. He also didn't know how to handle how he felt when he was with her.

  He'd tried to use anger and rudeness to get rid of her, but that hadn't worked. Now she was designing flyers for him, and she knew about Megan and Paul. What was going to happen next? What layer of his life was she going to peel away and how was he going to stop her?

  He didn't particularly want to be a man of mystery, but it had become a necessity, as had his isolation. Hearing her talk about her family with such affection and joy had made him feel wistful for a life he'd left a long time ago.

  He couldn't afford
nostalgia. That could make him vulnerable. He had to find a way to get Annie out of his life. It would be better for him. It would be better for her.

  But he couldn't do it today. Once she was done with the art for the party, then he'd say goodbye.

  Riding one last wave into the beach, he hit the sand, then headed for home.

  When he entered the employee lot at the Depot, he was taken back to the day before, only there were no cars in the lot today other than his, and no sign of the Ford without any license plates.

  He went up to his apartment, showered, changed and then headed downstairs to see what he could grab to eat. With the bar kitchen so close, he didn't bother to keep much in his apartment.

  He had just pulled out a carton of eggs when his phone rang. It was an unidentified number, which always made him edgy. "Hello?"

  "It's Paul."

  "New number?"

  "Keeping things moving," Paul replied.

  "How's Megan?"

  "Better this morning. We just got some good news. The trial was moved up, and Megan will testify on Friday. We're getting on a plane in an hour. This is going to be over soon."

  "That's great. I know she's ready to be done."

  "Any problems around the bar after we left?"

  "No, it has been very quiet."

  "Good. I want you to know I didn't think I was putting you in danger when I brought Megan there."

  "I know."

  "I wouldn't jeopardize your safety or the people you work with. At any rate, Megan told me she feels better just having been around normal people for a few days. She has bounced back from yesterday's attack, and she looks stronger to me, both physically and emotionally. She has a new determination that was lacking before I brought her to you."

  "I'm glad we could help. And I hope she will be free to return to her life. Tell her if she ever wants to come back and work here for real, she's welcome."

  "I'll tell her, but she actually has some skills that would be wasted in a bar."

  Paul's words made him curious, but unlike Annie, he kept his questions to himself. He might want to know something, but that didn't mean he needed to know.

  "By the way," Paul continued. "How's Annie doing?"

  "She's fine. She's very resilient."