A Little Harmless Addiction

by Melissa Schroeder

  “Of course it is. You’re his sister.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Ugh, you brothers are all the same, but no, it isn’t. I am an adult who can make her own decisions. Been doing it for some time now.”

  He reached out and cupped her cheek. “He’s just looking out for you because he loves you.”

  Her expression softened. “I know that. But it can be a bit smothering, especially since I’m used to dealing with it at a distance.”

  He rubbed his thumb over her cheek. “I can talk to him if you want me to.”

  “God, no. Let me handle Chris. It isn’t like he can order either of us around.”

  He dropped his hand and started eating his sandwich. “It seems odd to me to have that many miles between you and family.”

  She cocked her head and studied him. “I guess so and that is important here, right? I mean, I hear people talk about Ohana and how the family is the most important thing.”

  He shrugged. “It is a way of life that you probably can’t find on the mainland.”

  “It was different when Chris came over here. I never thought he would last.” She shrugged again. “I don’t think any of us thought he would. We do have a very close family, but he fell in love with the island. I could see it the first time he came back for a visit. It was under his skin. A part of him.” She sighed. “I can understand that.”

  He heard it there in her voice. Some people could live on the islands their whole lives and never really appreciate them. But some people, it tugged at them, at their hearts and they never left. Which would suit him just fine to have her stay.

  “How do you like working at Cynthia’s?”

  “I like it. I wasn’t sure if I would. I was so used to working in a high-pressure job, and while we have schedules and all that, the pressure I had in Atlanta isn’t there.”

  “Along with your problems.” The moment he said it, he wanted to call back the words. Her expression blanked and she blinked at him. Dammit, he couldn’t help it. He wanted to know everything about her, the good and bad.

  She sighed. “Yeah. I was at the top of my game when I tumbled down.”

  “You didn’t tumble. You were pushed.”

  Her eyes widened. “I guess you could say that. I guess you want to know more.”

  “Only what you want to tell me.”

  She laughed, but this time there was little humor in it and he hated it. He took her hands into his.

  “I’m serious. I don’t have to know anything you don’t want me to. But I think you need to say it.”

  She nodded. “You might be right. I didn’t really talk to anyone about it. I mean, I had to give a statement to the police and all, but I didn’t tell family about it. I couldn’t.” She sighed. “I met Greg when I was working on my Masters. He was brilliant and he usually picked one student each year to mentor. I thought I had made it when he chose me. He didn’t usually pay attention to the bakery students. Greg was usually all about the grill.”

  Of course, the bastard had chosen Jocelyn. He remembered the picture he’d seen a few weeks ago, her smiling face. She would be tempting. She was beautiful, and the attention of someone like him would definitely be more than a young woman would be able to ignore.

  “Did you have a relationship with him?”

  She shook her head. “God, no. He was…like one of my brothers. Or I thought so at the time. We worked a lot together and he was the one who suggested Atlanta at first. I wasn’t too keen on it. I like big cities, but I tend to like them a little slower, like Honolulu. Atlanta is, well, it’s crazy. I didn’t know he’d planned on moving there himself. It just had seemed so natural when he contacted me six months later and asked if I would be interested in his new restaurant.”

  “Of course,” he said, barely keeping his sarcasm at bay. She tossed him a look that told him to settle down.

  “It wasn’t like that. Or I didn’t know it was. He hadn’t tried anything while I was at school, so I thought he might not be interested in me.”

  “Really? I would say he would have to be dead.”

  She snorted. “No. Greg was white and he never messed with any of the black students, so I thought maybe he didn’t like black women that way. I assumed that he saw me as a colleague. Stupid.”

  He shook his head and took her hands in his. “No. If he had been a decent guy, you would have been right. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the bastard.”

  She nodded. “Yeah, Doctor Sawyer said as much.”

  “Your therapist?”

  “Yeah.”

  “When did it go bad?”

  “Not for another six months. He was pretty cool with his advances, I didn’t even recognize them. I was living with Mike at the time so I wasn’t even paying attention to men in that way.”

  “Mike?”

  “Yeah, Mike Sanders.”

  “Mike Sanders, the big celebrity chef?”

  She nodded. “That would be him.”

  Irritation and a good deal of jealousy burned in him. It was stupid, he knew that, but still part of him hated that she had been involved with anyone. Especially someone so successful.

  “Ow, Kai.”

  He realized he had been squeezing her hand. He relaxed his fingers and then rubbed hers. “Sorry.”

  “About six months into the working relationship, Greg’s wife moved out.”

  “He was married?”

  She smiled at his outrage. “Yeah. And with her went a lot of his money. She had financed a lot of his restaurant, and when she left she cut off his money flow. She apparently found out he’d been sleeping with their twenty-one-year-old nanny.”

  “The guy is a predator.”

  “Agreed. I didn’t know this at the time. Some of it came out later when he was arrested. The prosecutor dug it up on him. She said we had to establish a pattern.”

  She paused and he realized she was scared to tell him. Reliving the horror of what she had been through might be too much for her.

  “You only have to tell me what you want.”

  She smiled. “I know you probably hate to hear it, but you are the sweetest man.”

  She leaned forward and brushed her mouth over his.

  “If it gets me kisses like that, I can deal with being called sweet.”

  “Yeah. I bet.” She sighed and then straightened her spine. It intrigued him even more. He had been known as a man who helped women through their heartaches. But this woman went beyond that. He didn’t want to save her. She could stand on her own and dammit, that made her irresistible.

  He took her hand in his and threaded his fingers through hers. “Go on.”

  “When I began to work for him, the problems started. He became a little too…touchy. I mean, he had always been a guy who did that, to everyone, men and women. He was part Italian and that is what he blamed it on. And at first, it didn’t bother me. You’ve seen how Chris and I are. We are a demonstrative family so I didn’t have a problem. Until Greg. It became kind of creepy.

  “I just blamed it on the stress he was under. I wasn’t stupid. I knew he was a cheater. Hell, everyone at the school knew that. But I had always thought he had an arrangement with his wife. They pretty much had their own lives. Maybe having someone in their house was a little too much.”

  She drew in a breath. “Things went downhill fast. He started showing up at places I was at.”

  “Like where?” A cold chill filled his stomach.

  “First, it was really casual. Running into each other at the mall or at the theater. Then it was all the time. He would just show up at my house with no notice. Especially the nights that Mike was working.”

  “What did Mike do about it?” he asked.

  She looked at him, a frown turning her lips down. “What do you mean?”

  “Mike. You were living with him, in a serious relationship, so what did he do?”

  She made a face. “He accused me of cheating on him and moved out. I learned later that Greg had pre
tty much insinuated that he and I were sleeping together.”

  Still, in Kai’s mind, Mike should have known better. More than likely there had been signs of the harassment and the asshole had just ignored them. How a man could think Jocelyn would cheat was beyond him.

  “Then it got worse. Greg just became very scary. So I quit. It wasn’t something I was used to doing, but I couldn’t take it anymore. Greg did everything he could to make it impossible to get another job. He put out the word that I was horrible. That when my work had started to fail, he had fired me. Which wasn’t true, but he had a little more of a reputation than I did, and why would he lie?”

  “Because he’s a disgusting bastard.”

  She smiled at him. “The exact same words Chris used. The only kind of job I could get was at a grocery bakery. I figured I would move as soon as my lease was up and maybe by then Greg would get over the fact that I had turned him down. But it didn’t work out that way.”

  She hesitated and a tremor moved through her as if she were reliving the terror.

  “You don’t have to tell me.” He had wanted to know, but it was physically hurting him to hear the story. He could detect the pain in her voice, the shame she was still dealing with, and he felt useless. There was nothing he could do to stop the memories from hurting her.

  She looked up at him, determination in her gaze. “No. I think I do.”

  He nodded but said nothing else.

  “He found me one night at work. I had stayed late to finish up and one of the idiot stock boys let him back to see me. He tried to get me to come back to the restaurant. He offered insane things. Twice the amount he was paying me before I left. A car. Anything. Then he tried to get me to admit to being in love with him. Talk about delusional, it was really crazy. I ordered him out of my kitchen and he lost it.”

  She closed her eyes and he squeezed her hands. “The same stock boy who had opened the door for him dragged him off me. I have never seen anyone that crazy.” She opened her eyes and he saw the haunted memories there, simmering with the unshed tears. “I mean, I grew up in New Orleans. There are all kinds of crazy there. But nothing like this. I had two broken ribs, a concussion, and being that I was underweight and barely holding on, I had a bit of a breakdown.”

  He wanted to tell her that a lesser woman would have fallen apart long before that, but he could see in her expression that she would never believe him. Instead, he gently pulled her out of the chair.

  “What?”

  He motioned to the bedroom. “Come on.”

  Jocelyn followed Kai back to her bedroom, her nerves shot, emotionally wrung out. He closed the door behind her and led her to the bed. She hadn’t been sure how he would take her story. It was one of the reasons she hadn’t talked about it with anyone, her brothers, her sisters, her mother. No one other than Dr. Sawyer and the police. She didn’t want to hear their questions. She knew her brothers especially were mad that she didn’t tell them when it was going on. Worse, she knew she should have. She should have gone somewhere to report it. Even if no one believed her, she should have done it. The problem had been her pride. She’d worried what people would think of her. But here was Kai, and he had been willing to listen and not judge.

  When Chris had shown up in Atlanta, the first thing he’d asked was why she didn’t call him. Why had she let it get so bad? It was as if he blamed her. And she knew without a doubt, he didn’t. It was a reaction to the fear he had felt, but it had damaged something in her at the time. She had been so tired, so sick, so not wanting to live.

  Kai stopped by the bed and turned her to face him. He smiled at her gently, lovingly, and she felt it all the way to her toes. How could a man be so gentle and sexy all at once? He undid the belt to her robe and slowly parted the fabric.

  “Let me love you.”

  The words were simple, but they touched her heart, made it shiver with an emotion she didn’t want to face. Not now, not after what she had just been through. But she knew that both of them needed this.

  “Yes.”

  He smiled as if she had given him the world and bent his head to brush his lips over hers. It was a simple kiss, one that shouldn’t have sent a lick of fire through her blood or made her knees weak. Like she had said to Cynthia, he made her melt. No man in her life had ever been able to do that with just a kiss.

  He slipped her robe from her shoulders and then urged her to the bed. He pulled off his shorts and she couldn’t help the desire that shifted through her. He was gorgeous. Lean, sculpted muscles, with various tattoos, the piercing, the solemn expression. And underneath, God, underneath was the best man she had ever known. He was so hot, sweet, kind…she was seriously losing herself to him fast.

  “Lay back.”

  She did as he requested and he lifted her leg. With skill, he massaged her foot, his talented fingers moving over her arch. She moaned and closed her eyes. He gave her other foot the same treatment and then moved up her legs, caressing and kissing her skin. His tongue darted out every few kisses and then dipped into her belly button.

  She laughed and he smiled at her. Then, slowly, easily, he moved closer. He took a nipple into his mouth as he took the other between his fingers and tugged on it. She felt it all the way to her pussy. Wet heat breathed through her blood. Leisurely, he built her up, with his tongue, his hands. It wasn’t crazy, she thought as he slipped down her body, not like before. She felt his hot breath on her sex the moment before he touched her. She dug her fingers into the sheet as he drew her orgasm from her.

  While she was still shivering, he grabbed a condom and slipped into her. When she went over the edge again, he went with her.

  Chapter Eleven

  “You beat me here this morning,” Cynthia said as she walked into the kitchen of the bakery. She was pale again, her hair a tangled mess, and she had dark circles under her eyes. “Wait, weren’t you supposed to be off?”

  Jocelyn smiled and shrugged. “I wanted to come in. Big question is how did you ditch my brother?”

  Cynthia snorted. “It was a bad morning. I was up at three gagging, and hence…well you get the drift. He’s so worn out. And stop laughing. I’m really starting to worry about him.”

  “Sorry. It’s so much fun to hold over him.”

  Cynthia sighed as she tossed her purse into the office. “So tell me why you’re here?”

  “I told you, I just felt like coming in. I’m kind of worried about you.” Even to her own ears it didn’t sound truthful. It wasn’t that she wasn’t worried about Cynthia. She was a bit, but she knew morning sickness, along with the fatigue, were normal.

  Cynthia crossed her arms beneath her breasts and tapped her foot. “Jocelyn.”

  She smiled. “I had to bring Kai back.”

  For a second, Cynthia’s mouth opened and closed, twice, then she said, “It’s about damned time. You’ve been here over a month. I never expected that boy to move that slow.”

  Jocelyn laughed. “There is nothing slow about Kai, except the good things.”

  “Oh really? That sounds so…naughty. I want some details.”

  Jocelyn shook her head. “No.”

  “Ah, come on.” Cynthia was whining now and Jocelyn knew it was out of character. The hormones were really starting to get to her. “I’ve heard rumors about him of course. He has a bit of a reputation.”

  “If it is about the fact he has the stamina of ten men, then I would say it was pretty close to the truth.”

  “I’m happy for you, Jocelyn.”

  She glanced at her and recognized the gleam in Cynthia’s eyes. She had seen it more than once in her mother’s eyes through the years. “Don’t go planning anything. Kai isn’t the kind of guy who settles down, and I’m not sure if I can handle anything past taking things one day at a time.”

  Cynthia frowned. “I didn’t say anything. But I have never seen him wait this long to ask a woman out.”

  “It wasn’t like we haven’t been on dates.”

  “Yeah, but w
ell, Kai usually can talk a woman into bed on the first date.”

  Jocelyn shrugged. Lord knew that after that first turn around the island, he could have done. She had all but offered herself up to him that night, but he had held back. “I’m sure being linked through Chris and May made a difference.”

  She nodded as she grabbed the pink apron with the word Cynthia’s splashed across the front of it. “I can see that, but still. He’s been kind of on his own since Keisha and he broke up. I just think he might be looking for something serious.”

  Panic set in first, along with a healthy dose of fear. “I’m not sure I can give that to him.”

  Cynthia looked up at Jocelyn’s quiet admission. “Oh, honey.” She walked over to her and pulled her into her arms. “You are right. You just have to take it one day at a time, but be sure not to forget that if there was a guy worth it, it would be Kai.”

  Jocelyn sighed. “That is probably the problem.”

  Cynthia pulled back and mischievous smile curved her lips. “So, there are rumors about certain piercings?”

  Jocelyn laughed. “I don’t kiss and tell.”

  Cynthia stuck out her tongue. “What fun is that?”

  “Okay, only the nipple.”

  “Oh God, a nipple piercing. I wonder if Chris would go for it.”

  Jocelyn snorted. “I doubt that. He has a thing about the sight of blood. Just his own…although if I were you, I would think twice about having him in the delivery room. He might just pass out on you.”

  Cynthia laughed. “Leave your big brother alone. Poor man has had a bad time. He’s lost about five pounds in the last two weeks.”

  “Only my brother would do something like that, butthead.”

  “I wish you hadn’t called your brothers to tell them about the morning sickness.”

  “I think it’s proper payback for telling my mother that I was sneaking out of my room at night.”

  Cynthia laughed. “I can see him doing that. But really, I’m happy for you. You might not know where it’s going, but it is nice to see you happy about a man.”

  Kai walked into Dupree’s trying to figure just what he was going to say to Chris. He had cleared his schedule because he needed more information about the bastard who had hurt Jocelyn. He could have pushed her and she probably would have told him, but she had been so damned fragile after telling her story, he would have been a bastard to bother her for more info.