"You followed your heart. I can't fault you for that."
"Ugh. You sound like Kat."
Blake smiles. His expression is light, like he's so happy he could die. On him that's a slight crinkling of the eyes and a slight upward curve of the lips. But it's happy. There's no mistaking that.
"She already offered to sell the place in Brooklyn." I look Blake in the eyes. "Do you think she really wants that?"
"She's always wants the best for you."
"Yeah. She always wants the best for everyone else." I play with my fork. "Do you have any idea how lucky you are to have her?"
"Luckiest guy in the world."
"At least you realize that." I take a bite. Red peppers, green peas, and the rich taste of coconut. It's good. Really good.
Blake pulls something from his laptop back and slides it across the table to me. "You got into NYU, Hunter College, Rutgers, and a dozen other schools within two hours of the city."
"Funny, cause I don't remember applying to any of them." I throw him a death stare. "What did you do?"
"I copied your Columbia essay and input your information. It only took an hour." He makes eye contact. "NYU is thirty minutes on the subway, and Hunter is less than twenty blocks away. You can stay here if you'd like."
"You'll be newlyweds."
"There's space."
"You'd really want me in your fancy apartment, cock blocking you twenty-four/seven?"
He smiles. "You won't manage to cock block me. Our bedroom is soundproofed."
"Please stop."
"It's official in two weeks, but as far as I'm concerned, you're already family. You're always welcome."
Some of the coldness melts away. I'm family now. It feels real. Hell, it's the first time I've ever seen Blake as more than that guy who makes Kat happy.
He's really going to be my family.
Maybe... maybe I don't have to do all of this alone. Maybe it's okay to accept someone's help.
I take a long sip of my soda to cool my scorching taste buds. My attention goes back to Blake. He's unflappably calm, but he's also sincere.
For the first time, I understand what Kat sees in him.
He's sweet.
We finish dinner in silence. After, I take my Battlestar Galactica marathon to the TV in the living room.
Blake joins me until Kat gets home. Then they go to their room, probably so he can prove just how little I am able to cock block him.
***
There's no one at Odyssey when I arrive Wednesday morning. Of course there's not. It's eight, and start time is nine.
There's a light at the end of the hall. Nick's office.
I take a deep breath, gathering my courage, but I'm not ready to face him. I wait at the coffee shop across the street. One vanilla latte, and I'm a little more awake.
It's only eight forty-five. I order a second drink so I won't be tempted to text him and confess everything.
I don't know much about Shepard, but I'm positive he won't give me any wiggle room with this arrangement. That means I need to keep Nick at a distance for two weeks.
And that's if he wants anything to do with me.
My drink is good. Warm, sweet, robust. I savor it as much as I can. The caffeine has me on edge. I take a long walk around the financial district. It only helps makes me extra late to work.
It's ten-thirty when I step into the elevator. Oh well. It's not like attention is on me.
I go straight to my desk, but it's already impossible to concentrate. There's coffee and a bagel on my desk. Next to it are two packets of half and half and two of brown sugar. Exactly how I fix it every morning.
The last thing I need is more coffee. I drink it anyway. At least needing to pee every thirty minutes gives me something to do. There's plenty of work. I'm in the middle of a project and I have another week or two before I need guidance from a senior programmer.
I get sucked into coding until I hear his voice. It's loud, booming.
Angry.
"Was I unclear last week?" Nick stares down David. "Don't come to me or to Ms. Lee with questions about gossip."
"Mr. Marlowe, I'm only asking about official word from the company."
Once again, Jasmine rushes into the fray. "Nick, maybe we should set a meeting for this afternoon. People have questions."
"Yes, I have a lot of questions as well." He stares at her like he's asking for an explanation.
"I didn't have anything to do with this," she says.
Poor David blinks with confusion. The guy has no clue what is going on.
He returns to his desk and whispers something to another programmer. Nick watches them with a glare. He and Jasmine whisper something.
Then he looks straight at me. It's obvious I'm watching. Everyone in the office is watching.
But he says nothing. Heads back to his office and slams the door so hard the wall shakes.
He has his company.
He shouldn't be angry.
Maybe he needs time for it to sink in.
That must be it.
***
Habits are hard to break. Thursday, I arrive at Odyssey at eight.
Once again, the floor is empty except for the light in Nick's office. The door is open a sliver. I'm here. He's here. Let's get this over with.
With a deep breath, I knock on his door.
"Is that you?" He asks. The soft tone of his voice makes it clear that he means me.
"Yeah. Can I come in?"
"Of course."
I push the door open and step inside the office. Nerves flutter in my stomach. I swallow hard to shove them down.
His eyes aren't quite as tired. His posture isn't quite as slumped. He's not ecstatic, but then who is at 8AM?
Nick points to a cup of coffee on his desk. There's a bag next to it. A bagel.
"In case you skipped breakfast." His voice is flat, impossible to read.
"Nick, I—"
"You'll be working with David starting today."
"You yelled at him yesterday."
"I shouldn't have lost my temper like that. It was out of line." He taps his fingers like he's irritated. "He's in charge of voice recognition. Not the most interesting work but useful to know. He can't come in early or stay late. You'll have a stable nine to five schedule."
I nod.
"He's a good programmer. You'll learn a lot."
"Sure." I grab the coffee and the sandwich and take a step backwards. So I won't be tempted to touch him. "Thanks for the breakfast."
He nods. "I'll miss our mornings together."
"Me too." I bite my tongue. The pain calls my attention. No touching Nick. No telling him I care about him. Nothing that will make this more difficult than it has to be. "I'm really glad you didn't have to sell. I know how much this company means to you."
His eyes turn to the floor. Regret flares in his expression. "Thank you."
Every ounce of me wants to run into his arms. I turn and rush back to my desk. I can't give in to that temptation. Nick is already doing better. By the end of the week, he'll be back to his old, ruthless self.
He'll be happy.
I can't ruin that.
***
Daniel is a good programmer, but he's new to being a mentor. He's patient with my endless questions. I'm patient with his slow responses. He unloads a lot of grunt work on me. At least it's a distraction.
Friday morning, I make a point of doing an extra long yoga session so there's no way I'll get to the office before nine. Sure enough, there's coffee and breakfast on my desk. I try to resist Nick's offering. I try not to wonder what it means. I fail on both accounts.
I take lunch at my desk. I drink half a dozen cans of diet. I work until I'm too tired to think, then I work some more. It's dark when I finally break. After seven.
The office is empty, but I don't care. I'm still thinking. That means I need to work more. I take a break to use the bathroom and get a snack.
When I return to the main room, al
l the lights are off. Even the one in Nick's office.
Huh? I didn't see him leave. Hell, he never leaves this early. I try to forget about it on the way back to my desk.
But he's there, leaning over the computer, tapping something into the keyboard.
I move next to him, but there's no way I can get into my chair. Not with him in that position. He'll be leaning over me, his hands on my shoulders, his breath on my neck. The thought of it is enough to light a fire in my body. All that coldness melts away.
I want him.
I want him enough to scream.
I sink my teeth into my apple, chewing as loudly and unattractively as possible.
Nick points to a line of code. "You missed a semi-colon."
"Is that it?"
He nods. He shifts so he's standing and we're face to face. His eyes scan by body, half desire, half concern.
I eat my apple.
I gnaw at my apple until it's a tiny core then I wrap it in a napkin and drop it on my desk.
"How's working with David?" His voice is even.
"He's not as good as you, but I'm still learning something."
A minute passes. Two even. The silence is so awkward I want to scream. There are so many things I want to say to Nick and all of them are impossible.
His eyes bore into me. "Why is it you look even more miserable than I feel?"
I press my hands into my sides. "That's in your head. I'm fine."
Concern spreads over his expression. "You're a terrible liar."
I swallow hard. "You seem happier. You're in control again—"
"If I was in control, I'd have you."
My legs threaten to give out. I press my hand against my desk for much needed support. "You have Odyssey and Haley. You must be glad Shepard backed off."
He stares at me. "Do you want to tell me what you had to do with that?"
"Nothing. His greed got the best of him."
"Lizzy, please don't lie. It infuriates me."
"I'm sorry, Mr. Marlowe, but I'm afraid that's all I can say. It was the best decision for everyone—"
"Don't do that—"
"Do what?"
"Pretend like you never mattered to me." He shakes his head. "What did you do, baby? What did you do to make this happen?"
"Don't call me baby. We broke up." And it makes it impossible to keep up my poker face.
I bite my lip, praying he'll buy that I'm okay. That he'll walk back to his office and bury himself in the work he loves more than anything.
No such luck. He stands firm, his posture strong, his expression demanding.
Order me to tell the truth. Order me onto my knees. I don't fucking care, just make me feel something else.
I stare at the lines of code. Anything to keep from verbalizing my thoughts.
"What would you like?" he asks.
"What are you talking about?"
"Sweetheart? Sweetie? Darling? Honey? Sweet pea? Just Lizzy?"
"It's Ms. Wilder." I play with the pocket flap of my blazer. Stupid fucking thing is fake. "Isn't that what we do in this office? Everyone is on a last name basis."
"Yes."
"And aren't you all about the rules and keeping your personal life and professional life separate?"
"Did you fuck him?"
"How could you ask that?" I turn to Nick. There's no malice in his expression. Just hurt. "I would never do that to you. I—" I bite my lip until the pain is too much to take. "Never."
He moves closer. Until he's six inches away. "I still trust you, Lizzy, but you shouldn't have done this. Whatever it was."
I can't move. I want to be near him more than I've ever wanted anything. "You have your company. That's what matters to you."
"You're what matters to me."
I shake my head.
Nick leans closer. Until he's two inches away. His hands go my hips. One moves to my lower back. The other moves to the back of my head. He undoes my bun so my hair spills over my shoulders.
His hands feel good. I press my eyes closed, unable to do anything but soak in the sensation.
He digs his hand into my hair. "You're still reacting to me." He drags his hand down my neck until I groan. "You want this."
I look up into his eyes. It takes my breath away. "You're hot. I can't help it."
"I'm going to kiss you." He brings his hand to the back of my head and uses it to pull me closer. "You remember how to say no to me?"
"I remember." But I can't do it. No way in hell.
My eyes flutter closed as Nick leans closer. The connection of our lips sends a spark through every inch of my body. For the first time all week, I'm awake and alive. I want something I can have. In theory.
I part my lips to make way for his tongue. I slide my hands around his waist and hold on tightly. Nick, Nick, Nick. It's my world. It's everything.
The kiss breaks. He stares into my eyes, his expression equal parts desperation and desire.
He slides my blazer off my shoulders. It falls behind me on the floor.
I press my body against his. "This doesn't mean anything. It's break up sex."
He pulls my zipper all the way down my back. "It means something."
"But not that we're together. We're not. It's just tonight. It's just because we're both miserable."
"You're miserable?"
"Don't pretend like you can't tell."
He drags his fingertips up my back. "Why are you running away from what you want?"
I hold Nick's gaze. "You have your priories. I have mine."
"What are they, baby?"
God, I like the way that sounds. I swallow hard. "Stop that."
"Priorities can change."
"Call me when they do." I step back. "Until then, I'm not discussing it."
Nick moves closer. He pulls my dress off one shoulder then the other. His eyes go to my chest as he pushes my dress to my waist. "I want you to feel better."
"Then fuck me."
"Do I need to get a condom?"
He might as well ask "have you fucked someone else?" I'm tempted to slap him. Is that really what he thinks of me? But I hold strong. This is the Nick I know. The one who only takes necessary risks.
He's already back to his normal self.
This was the right decision. No matter how much it hurts me.
I reach around my back to unhook my bra. "No."
He nods. His expression changes. Stern. "Strip. I want you naked in front of me."
That's the Nick I know.
I slide my bra off my shoulders and toss it aside. I push my dress to my knees. It's impossible to take off my tights and boots in a graceful manner, but I get my groove back as I slide my underwear off my hips. It falls to my feet. I kick all the clothes away.
Nick scans my body the way he did that night in San Francisco, like he's taking a mental picture, like he believes this is the last time.
Tension threatens to consume my back. The moment Nick presses his palm into my skin, my muscles relax. Fucking body. Why can't the thing respect my wishes? Instead, it's on fire. It wants him and nothing else will do.
Nick brings his hands to my chest. He cups my breasts with a gentle touch. His eyes go to mine as he plays with my nipples. It starts soft. Then it's harder. Faster. Rougher.
Pleasure builds between my legs. I fight my desire to close my eyes. I want to see the look on his face. The mix of control and ecstasy in his expression.
I groan, pressing my knees together. He's fucking good at this.
I forget about tomorrow. I forget about next week. I forget about everything but his moment.
It means something.
It means everything.
He toys with my nipples until I'm panting. One hand goes to my chin, tilting my head so we make eye contact.
"What do you want?" he asks.
"Right now?"
"Period. What do you want, Lizzy, more than anything?"
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
I turn away, pressing m
y eyelids together. How am I supposed to answer that?
He rubs me until I can't bear the silence anymore. I groan. I arch my body into his.
"Right now—" I look back at Nick. "Right now, I want you. I want your hands on me. Your mouth. I want you inside of me until I'm coming so hard I'm screaming."
"Is that all you want from me?"
I want everything from you, Nick. I love you. "I don't want to talk. I want you to fuck me."
His hand slides down my stomach and below my belly button. Almost.
Then he's touching me properly. His fingertips skim my clit. He presses his palm against me.
He groans. "Jesus, Lizzy. The way you respond to me." He teases my sex. "You really want this to be the last time?"
"Ask that again, and I'm leaving."
I lean into his touch. I press my eyelids together so the rest of the world disappears. All I feel is Nick's hands on my body. Fuck the rest of it. I'm going to enjoy this if it kills me.
He slides one finger inside me. Then two. I cry out. My hands go to his suit jacket. That same expensive wool. I tug at his tie to undo the knot. My hands go to the buttons on his oxford shirt. I undo two before he grabs my wrists and brings them to my sides.
Nick shoves everything off my desk. He pushes the monitor aside, so there's nothing in the way
His arm slides under my ass. He lifts me and places me on the desk.
I spread my legs to make room for him. He slings his hands under my knees, bringing my body onto his. I'm naked on this desk, and he's fully dressed in front of me, and I fucking like it.
He kisses his way down my neck and chest, stopping at my breasts to suck on my nipples. It's intense. His mouth is soft but the pressure is hard.
When he bites me, I scream. He bites harder.
I can't feel anything but him. The burst of pain. The pulse of pleasure. I dig my hands into his hair as he tortures me with his mouth. When I'm certain I can't take it anymore, I press my hands against his head to tell him to go lower. His lips press against my stomach. My belly button.
The inside of my thigh.
He drops to his knees. His hands close around my thighs. He drags me forward, pulls my legs apart. I'm splayed for him, on display for him.
My breath hitches. My pulse races. The closer his mouth gets to my sex, the more unbearable the anticipation. I'm on fire. I'm going to ignite.
The Billionaire's Need: An Alpha Billionaire Romance (The Billionaire's Deal Series Book 3) Page 22
