I plant my hands behind me to stay in place. He nips at my inner thigh with desperate, hungry motions.
"Nick," I groan. I arch my back, shifting my body just a little closer to his mouth.
He's almost there. He catches the delicate skin of my inner thigh between his teeth. Pain bursts through me. My sex clenches. I need him. God, how I need him.
Then his mouth is on me. My arms go slack as his tongue slides over my clit. I collapse on the desk with a thud. It does nothing to slow him. He slides one hand under my ass and uses it to bring me closer. The other hooks my knees around his shoulders, one at a time.
I press my thighs against his ears as he licks me. He's damn good at this. In moments, my body is pulsing with bliss. The knot inside me pulls so tight it hurts. I squeeze him harder.
"Nick," I scream.
He sucks on my clit. It's intense enough to take my breath away. I grab onto the edges of the desk, something to convince me I've got my balance.
He's soft and warm, and he's working magic. The next lick pulls that knot so tight I can't take it. The tension unravels, my sex pulsing with pleasure as I come.
I squeeze my thighs around his head. Whatever it takes to hold him against me.
He licks me again. Again. It's too much, but I can't bear to tell him to stop.
I squeeze the table. Not enough. I scream.
He's still licking me. I reach for Nick until I find his hair and I tug hard. He moans against my skin.
Another orgasm builds inside me. I press my heel into his back. I tug at his hair.
And I scream. I scream his name as I come. It's intense. It hurts. But it hurts so fucking good.
Pleasure spills through my body. Such a wonderful high when I've been so fucking low. He's the best comfort in the world. So much better than ice cream or movie marathons. So much better than anything.
Nick pulls back. He rises to his feet and presses his crotch against mine. I shift so I can feel the hardness in his slacks. I need that too. I need to make him feel as good as I do.
He tortures me, undoing his shirt as slowly as humanly possible. I wait on my back, my tongue sliding over my lips, my sex throbbing.
Finally, he slides his shirt off his shoulders. I reach up to touch him but he shoves my arms back onto the desk. I squeeze the edge as he does away with his slacks and boxers.
There's no patience left in his movements. He grabs my legs and presses them to his chest, so my ankles are at his ears. His hands go to my hips, and he pulls our bodies together.
His cock strains against me.
There.
I sigh as he enters me. The look on his face is exactly what I feel. Like the world finally makes sense.
He stares into my eyes, daring me to shy away from the intimacy. I don't. I stare back. It hurts all the way to my bones, but I stare back.
I need to be his, even for a moment, even if I'll be more miserable when it's over.
He drags his hands up my thighs, over my knees, all the way to my calves.
I'm powerless to do anything but feel him thrusting into me. It's the only thing I want. I hold his gaze. He digs his nails into my calves. He sighs. He groans.
He fucks me.
I can't keep my eyes open any longer. I press them together, moaning and groaning and screaming in equal measure. The only comprehensible sound is, "Nick."
This could be the last time we're here.
The last time he's mine.
I soak in the ecstasy our bodies joining until it's too much to take. This orgasm is hard and fast. Sensation overwhelms me as I come but I don't dare say yellow. Not until I feel his release.
Nick's nails get sharper. His groans get louder. I open my eyes to watch his bliss. It's the best sight in the world. The way his lips part. The way his shoulders shake. The way his eyelids press together.
One more thrust and he's there, pulsing inside me.
"Lizzy." He groans as he fills me.
Our bodies slow. Our eyes connect. That look is enough to undo me but I manage to stay silent.
He shifts, bringing our bodies apart. I get back into my clothes. He gets back into his.
He leans down and presses his lips to mine.
His kiss is still the best feeling in the whole fucking world.
Even if it is the last one.
***
Between pouring myself into my latest AI project and helping Kat put the finishing touches on her wedding planning, the weekend passes quickly. I barely think about Nick and how horrifically awkward things will be on Monday morning.
Hey, how was your weekend? How much of it did you spend thinking about fucking me on my desk? How much do you want to do it again?
The subway ride is a lesson in managing anxiety. But Nick isn't at Odyssey when I arrive. He's not there at lunch. He's not there for my afternoon coffee. He's not there when I leave.
Tuesday is the same. No Nick.
Wednesday, no Nick.
Thursday, no Nick.
I relax. Without him around, I'm able to focus completely on my programming. I'm not a master, but I'm competent and I'm learning a lot. This is a good internship. I'm lucky to have it.
Friday, Nick sends a company wide memo.
From: Phoenix Marlowe
There is a mandatory meeting at 4PM today for an important announcement about the Odyssey team. We'll have coffee and pastries.
He wastes no words, as usual.
There's no time to analyze it. My phone buzzes with a new text.
Nick: Be in my office in five minutes. I need to speak with you.
Sure enough, three minutes later, Nick steps out of the elevator. He's really back to his normal self. His posture is strong and confident. His eyes are bright, full of life. He's the guy who can take on the world.
He's happy.
I smooth my dress and check my hair. Here goes nothing. I walk to Nick's office.
The door is open. Still, I knock.
"Come in." His voice is all business.
I step inside. It's as bright and clean as it always is. Nick is standing at his desk, all his attention on me.
"Please close the door." He steps out from behind his desk.
I do. "I'm not going to lock it."
"Of course." His eyes find mine. "I trust you to keep a secret." He steps closer until we're two feet apart. "I'm leaving Odyssey."
What? There's no way I heard that right. There's no way Nick is leaving the company. It means everything to him. I pinch myself to make sure I'm awake.
I am.
"I've found a new CEO to replace me. And a new Lead Programmer to run the Haley project."
No. This doesn't make any sense.
This isn't the Nick I know.
"Lizzy, are you all right?" His voice is soft.
"But you... you can't leave your company. It's everything to you."
"I thought about what you said." His eyes burn with intensity. "This company has been a weight around my neck. I don't want to put work ahead of everything. I don't want those priorities."
I stare at him like he's speaking a foreign language.
"I sold my third of the company to an investor I trust. I expect Shepard will back off, but there's no guarantee of that."
"When are you leaving?"
"Today is my last day." His expression softens. "I spoke to your adviser at Stanford. With all the hours of overtime you've worked, we agreed that you'll get full credit as long as you stay through the end of the month."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome to stay as a paid intern through August. The salary won't be a fortune, but it will be enough to keep you in New York." He moves back to his desk and fishes through one of the drawers. He clears his throat. His voice returns to an even, all business tone. "The apartment is yours through June. If you stay with Odyssey, you can rent it at a discount starting July first."
I nod.
He pulls something from his drawer. An envelope.
His eyes
focus on mine. This look isn't business. It's personal.
He hands me the envelope. "The tickets are transferable if you'd rather take someone else."
I open the envelope. There are two plane tickets to the Virgin Islands and a reservation for a hotel suite in my name.
One ticket is made out to Phoenix Marlowe, the other to Elizabeth Wilder.
I try to find the meaning in Nick's eyes. I can't. "What is this supposed to be?"
"A second chance."
The room is spinning. This is too much, too fast. I take a step back, squeezing my fingers around the plane tickets. Slick paper. They're here. They're real.
His fingertips brush my cheek. "You would be my priority, Lizzy. My first priority."
The words rise up in my throat. I love you. Do you love me?
I swallow them down. I'm not ready for that.
The silence hurts. The words claw at my throat, desperate to escape.
A knock on the door calls my attention. I sigh, pushing the sentiment back to the bottom of my stomach.
"Mr. Marlowe. There's more paperwork for you to sign." Jasmine clears her throat. "I'm going to come in."
"Of course." Sadness flares in Nick's eyes. He shakes it off. "Enjoy your sister's wedding. I'm sure it will be beautiful."
"Thank you."
I stare back at him, willing my thoughts to go from messy squiggles to straight lines. There's so much I want to say to Nick, but the words stay trapped in my throat.
I go back to my desk so I won't implode.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Screw the mandatory meeting. I leave early. The apartment is mine for another three months but it doesn't feel like home anymore.
I find a suitcase in the corner and start packing a bag for the weekend. The wedding is Sunday afternoon, and I won't have a moment of breathing room until it's over. It's good being busy. Better seeing Kat so happy.
My bridesmaid dress is in her closet. I find my shoes and my purse and toss them into a pile on my bed. I need something for the bachelorette party. A black cocktail dress and matching heels should do the trick. I need something to sleep in. Something for our spa day.
And something to wear under my clothes. I dread opening that particular drawer. There's no resisting the flood of memories as I paw through the lingerie Nick bought me.
You would be my priority, Lizzy. My first priority.
The memory of his voice nearly undoes me. But he didn't say he loved me. He's good at getting what he wants. If he really loved me, he would have said it.
I find something practical and zip my suitcase.
It's still early. Kat must be home. Her last midterm was Wednesday, and she's technically on spring break. Lucky her, the school's schedule lined up perfectly with her ideal wedding date.
It's possible that she and Blake are currently having crazy sex in the living room. I can't bring myself to potentially cramp their style.
I find a paper notebook and a pen on my desk. I have a maid of honor speech to write and no time to waste.
For two hours, I stare at the neat lined paper. For two hours, nothing comes. I'm so happy for my sister, for this wedding, for everything it means, but I can't manage to string my thoughts together.
***
Saturday is devoted to the finishing touches of beauty. We spend hours at a spa—on Blake's dime, of course. It's too awkward to be relaxing, but I do my best to keep Kat's attention on anything but the wedding.
With every passing hour, her nerves shoot into overdrive. She is a thorn in the side of every masseuse and esthetician. She's always worn her heart on her sleeve, but this is a whole new level of emotional honesty.
We finish with just enough time to get to the rehearsal dinner. All those nerves fade away the moment we arrive. Well, the moment her eyes lock with Blake's. They're both so happy. It's plain as day. Our parents were like that, all gooey in love, ecstatic just for the chance to be together.
A warmth spreads through me. The lingering hurt over Nick fades away, and I'm confident it will stay away for the next twenty-four hours.
They're so in love they radiate positive energy. It's infectious enough that the food tastes better, the air smells sweeter.
Dinner is small. It's me, Kat, Blake, and Blake's sister Fiona. She and I take turns embarrassing our respective siblings. There are no speeches, no toasts, just the awe of seeing two people so totally perfect for each other.
It's overwhelming. I back off after Fiona picks up the tab—technically, she is the groom's family—to give them space.
It's a private moment, Kat and Blake staring into each other's eyes, whispering softly. I force myself to look away, but my gaze keeps going back to them. It's still such a wonderful sight—my sister so happy. I never thought she'd have that again.
I never thought either one of us would do anything but struggle.
I stare at my phone to keep myself occupied. There are a few confirmation emails about the bachelorette party.
And there's a text message from Nick.
Nick: Are you giving a speech tomorrow?
Not exactly a declaration of love, but it's certainly an effort to stay in touch.
I reply.
Lizzy: A big one. Haven't started yet.
Nick: You have sixteen hours.
Lizzy: Give or take. Luckily, I'm terrible with words.
Nick: You have enough charm to make up for it.
Lizzy: Are you trying to make me blush?
Nick: No. I don't want to distract you, but I'd regret not wishing you good luck.
Lizzy: Thanks.
Nick: I'm sure that whatever you write will be beautiful.
***
We meet her friends, plus Sarah, at an all male strip club at nine o'clock. Kat and her friends take the front entrance. Sarah leads me around back, to the stage entrance. I don't bother wondering how she knows her way around this place. It's Sarah. It has to be sex.
The place is surprisingly clean. The furniture is red velvet, the walls are mirrors, and the black stage is lined with little yellow lights.
Our table is plenty big for the six of us. Kat has three friends from school with her. They all seem nice.
A waiter clad in only a bowtie and a pair of black and white briefs stops at our table. He kneels in front of Kat like he's about to propose.
"Are you the bride to be?" He smiles.
She blushes. "Oh my God, Lizzy. Remind me to kill you after the honeymoon." She turns to the buff man, her expression polite but not at all interested. "I am."
"This is for you." He pulls a "Bride" sash from a hook on the wall and drapes it over her shoulders. "And what are you drinking on your last night of freedom?"
"Gin and tonic."
He nods to note her order then goes around the group. Each of us gets a flirty smile and a word of encouragement. The man is good at his job. He's cute—green eyes, brown hair, huge muscles—but my body is entirely apathetic to his hands on my wrist.
When our drinks arrive, Sarah busts out her offering to the festivities—penis shaped straws. Kat turns as red as a tomato but makes no objections.
"Why do you think all this bachelorette shit is cock shaped?" Sarah pulls a massive penis shaped lollipop from her purse and hands it to Kat.
"Thanks." Kat passes it to one of her friends. "I have plenty."
"It's to remind you that you're stuck with one dick for the rest of your life." Kat's redheaded friend giggles.
"Do you worry about it, Kat? Only one guy for your whole life. Won't that get boring?" Kat's black-haired friend asks.
"Nope." Kat downs her gin and tonic in one long sip. "He's perfect."
"Him or his—" Her black-haired friend waves the penis lollipop.
"The whole package." She laughs. "Oh, fuck. I didn't mean it like that."
The lights dim. A smoke machine kicks on, filling the room with haze. Music starts.
And then there are four men on stage in western jeans and cowboy hats, grinding
and thrusting to the beat. Kat covers her face with her hands, barely peeking.
"I can't believe you talked me into this," she says.
"You love it." I knock back my rum and diet.
She giggles. Her hands stay over her eyes.
The show is more cheeky than it is sexy. The men do a coordinated routine then strip to their underwear. They strike a pose as the music ends. A moment later, they're back on stage with a new routine, stripping off a new set of clothes.
Our waiter is incredibly attentive. I make an effort to pace myself, and I'm still three drinks deep by the time the dancers break. I excuse myself to the bathroom to pee and check my phone for texts from Nick. There's nothing, of course. He was clear enough.
You could be a priority. My first priority.
I stare at my phone, my thumbs hovering over the keyboard. I can't say this in a text. And I can't say it right now.
On my way back to the table, I run right into my sister. She slides her arm around me, smiling wide and slurring her words.
"Lizzy. You're such a hard-ass sometimes, but you don't fool me for a second. Not even one second." She wavers. "You are being so fucking stupid right now."
"How many drinks have you had?"
"Too many." She looks me in the eyes. "You're not fooling me for shit. I know you're in love with Nick."
"Do you?"
"That's right. And I know... I know that you still believe there's a chance."
"You've veered into drunk, sweetie."
She shrugs.
I check the time. A little after ten. The hair and makeup person will be in the apartment in twelve hours. In theory, it's plenty of time. But I'm not risking it with Kat this tipsy.
"Okay. Time to go home. You want to say 'bye to your friends?" I ask.
"No. I want to talk to you."
"Let me pay, darling."
I drag Kat back to the table and settle the check. It takes a while to get through the goodbyes. Everyone wants to hug the bride to be. We're not safely in a cab until nearly eleven.
"You're really stubborn. You know that?" She asks.
"You're really drunk." I give our address to the cabbie and turn my attention back to Kat. "You nervous?"
"Really nervous." She plays with her seat belt. "It's crazy how much everything costs, how big a deal it is for this thirty minute ceremony. And then you're married and that's so real."
The Billionaire's Need: An Alpha Billionaire Romance (The Billionaire's Deal Series Book 3) Page 23
