Forever: A Lobster Kind Of Love

by Pardo, Jody

  How could you miss them? I thought to myself. She couldn’t even close her hand around the clump of novelty key chains.

  We walked down to the end of the hall to the supply room. When she opened the door and revealed the treasure trove of supplies, I was in nurse heaven. I packed up two big boxes of supplies with everything I could need, including lots of catheters, gauze, bandages, packing materials, Band-Aids, antiseptic, saline solution, and notepads. Calais was a good 45-minute drive from Eastport and if I could avoid the trip for supplies that would be great.

  Sandra carried one box while I managed the other to my SUV. We loaded them in the back and closed the hatch.

  “See you next time!” She waved as I climbed in the driver’s seat and walked back to the building. I reset the GPS and headed back to Eastport.

  The past few days had passed quickly, and I still had a hard time believing I was actually here. It was time to get my apartment in order so I could enjoy tomorrow with Ethel. All I wanted to do was go home and change into my comfy yoga pants and read a little bit on the back deck. Maybe catch up with a little social media. The drive home seemed quicker than yesterday, maybe I was starting to get the hang of this.

  When I got back to my apartment, I hung up all my clothes, unpacked my boxes with books and knick-knacks, filling the empty bookcase in the living room, and found a place for everything in my new home. After I broke down and tied up the now empty cardboard boxes, I washed up and snuggled into bed. The cool night breeze drifted through my bedroom as I drifted off to sleep.

  “Mrs. Dacanay, I am going to need you to come with me.” The State Trooper escorted me down the basement hallway of the hospital to the coroner’s office. I was in a daze and felt like I was outside of myself, hearing their voices but they weren’t talking to me. They were talking to her, that other me with the dead eyes. I had to stand here in front of this window to identify Mason and Braxton before they released their bodies to the funeral home.

  “Am I going to be allowed inside?” I asked the trooper.

  “No ma’am. Not until they are released and treated by the mortician. It’s health code policy. I’m sorry.”

  The coroner pulled back the curtain on the other side of the window and…

  I sprung up in bed, disoriented, confused, shaking, and gasping for breath. Forcing my eyes wide, I took in my surroundings. This was not the morgue. This was my new home in Maine. I looked at my phone screen and it read 3:00 am.

  I needed Tonya. I dialed her and she answered in a groggy slurred voice “Hello? Lydia? Are you okay?”

  “No.” One word was all I could muster as my throat constricted and my nerves got the best of me.

  “Lydia, breathe. Take a deep breath. I want to hear it. If I don’t hear you breathe, I will be forced to get in my car and drive 600 miles to hug you…Lydia, can you hear me?”

  “Tonya, I’m not okay. What am I doing here? What was I thinking? I can’t stop the dreams.”

  “Deep breaths, Lydia. I love you so much. You are so strong. There is no reason to look back when you have so much to look forward to. Please, don’t give up.”

  “I’m trying. I’m here.” I rub my eyes trying to erase the vision of my boys on the slabs.

  “Try to get some sleep. I will call you from work later and check on you.”

  “I’m so sorry for waking you up. Thank you for reassuring me and always being there for me.”

  “I said it before, and I will say it again: anytime, day or night, I will be there for you. Just say the word and I will totally hop in my car and come see you.”

  “Thanks, sweetie. Good night, talk to you later.”

  “Good night, Lyds.” Damn, now I felt bad for waking Tonya up. My friends were my saving grace.

  That dream had done a real number on me. Talking to Tonya had helped, but there was no way I could go back to sleep. I might as well get up, make coffee, and shower.

  Today, Ethel and I were going into town. I knew she was a bundle of stories, but in the end, she was my angel in disguise, and I was grateful for her.

  Lydia

  It was early Sunday as I sat on my couch, gazing out the window to the beautiful sight of the water. It was so calm and the sun would rise soon. I grabbed my Kindle and figured I would try to read a little bit. Next thing I knew, I heard a knock at my door and looked at the time. Wow, two hours later and Julie Morgan’s Bobby Ray had me in a tizzy. I answered the door and smiled at Ethel.

  “Good Morning, Ethel. I am not quite ready yet, I got caught up in a book.”

  Ethel was all dressed and ready to go and I was still in my pajamas. “It’s all right dear. I wasn’t sure what time you wanted to head into town.”

  “Give me thirty minutes and we can head out.”

  “Don’t bother eating. We will have a nice breakfast at the diner. I have some coffee made already. Give me your travel cup and I will have it ready for you.” This woman was a gem. I handed her my tall travel cup, and she went back to her side. I quickly washed up and got myself ready. I didn’t want to keep Ethel waiting. I threw on a t-shirt, a pair of jeans, and my comfy shoes. I didn’t bother with makeup and threw my hair up in a messy bun.

  I ventured toward Ethel’s and found her waiting for me in her kitchen.

  She handed me my travel cup. “Are you ready, dear?”

  “I’m ready when you are.”

  She looked a little disconnected today. Last night, she’d seemed so excited to get to town. As we started down the driveway, Ethel sat in the passenger seat with her seatbelt fastened and quietly gazed out the window. This had to be hard: being a widow and four miles from town without a car, but we were going to have a great day.

  It was a short and silent drive into town. We pulled into the Waco Diner parking lot and she broke the silence.

  “Life changes every minute, every day. You look for love, you find love, you lose love, you laugh, you cry, you have your ups and downs. You love life, you hate life. But in all of everything, you find yourself going on with life, no matter what is thrown at you.” She didn’t direct her statement at me or even look at me; she continued to gaze out the window a few minutes more. Honestly, I didn’t even know what to say to that.

  She turned to me then and said, “Let’s go eat and get this day started. This old lady is not getting any younger!” With a spring in her step and a smile on her face, she slid down the seat until her feet touched the ground and waited for me to join her. Whatever was weighing on her mind in the car had disappeared and Ethel’s spunky demeanor had returned. She looped her arm in mine and we walked toward the diner.

  When we entered, it seemed like all eyes were on us. I saw mixed looks of disbelief and surprise. Then, an older gentleman came over to Ethel and pulled her into a tight embrace. “Welcome back, Ethel. We’ve all missed you around here. Good to see you, doll. Who’s your pretty escort?”

  “Thank you, John,” Ethel said. “I have missed you, too and our lovely lunches here. I would like you to meet my new friend, Lydia. She moved into my east apartment. Please let the boys know she is with me and to take care of her when she comes in. I may not always be with her, but if she will have me, I will be coming around more often.”

  “Of course, Ethel. Anytime you want, I would be happy to bring you to town.” I looked at John and extended my hand to shake, but he glared at me until I dropped my hand.

  “Young lady, I don’t know where you came from but we don’t do that handshake thing. That is for the banker. Are you a banker?” he questioned with a perked eyebrow.

  “No sir, I’m a nurse.”

  “Well, then we greet each other with hugs around here. I will let you off the hook this time, but next time we meet, I will have a hug, okay?” He nodded and winked at me then bellowed toward the back of the diner. “Hey Tom, look who’s back! Come give Ethel a squeeze.” He called over to the burly older man seated with the group of seniors. We proceeded slowly toward the corner booths that held large groups as Ethel hu
gged each person along the way like a wedding reception line.

  The conversation flowed, and I found it hard to follow at times as everyone spoke at once and caught up on not only the week’s events, but everything Ethel apparently missed in her absence from their weekly lunch outings. Everyone was very friendly and readily included me in their conversations, explaining things that I didn’t quite understand along the way. After we devoured our breakfast platters, overflowing oval plates with eggs, cubed home fries with corned beef, fresh link sausage, fluffy buttermilk biscuits, and a jar of homemade orange marmalade, the waitress cleared the table and thanked us for coming.

  “What about the check?” I whispered to Ethel as our breakfast companions started saying their goodbyes.

  “Oh sweetheart, don’t worry yourself about such small things. It’s taken care of,” Ethel said with a bright smile.

  “Thank you for the kind gesture, but I can pay my own way.”

  Ethel patted my cheek. “It’s included in the rent package, right, John?” She turned to John to grab his attention “Hasn’t everyone who ever rented from my Harry received the full meal plan?”

  “That’s right,” he agreed, “Anyone with Ethel is family. Welcome to Eastport, Lydia. We may not be blood, but we are as close knit as they come. We have to stick together around here.”

  “Sweet girl, open your heart, and amazing things will happen. You will see. Trust this old lady.” She winked as she told her friends good bye.

  John grabbed her for another embrace. “We really missed you, Ethel. We knew you needed time and time has done you well. You look good and I am happy to see you smiling again. Please, come visit more often. I could get one of the boys to come get you.”

  “Thanks, John. I will be back.” She looked over at me as she elbowed John. “I have Lydia. I promise I won’t be a stranger anymore. I just needed a little time after Harry passed. I’m happy. John, you tell those boys down on the docks to come visit this old lady anytime. They will always be my family.” They shared another hug, and it nearly brought me to tears.

  “Now get Lydia and me two coffees and we will catch up more another time. We have some sightseeing to do today. I have to show this young lady off…I mean around.” She winked at her friend as he gave me another look from head to toe.

  With our takeaway coffees in hand, we walked across the square to the library. We headed over to the “Recent Arrivals” section, and a short gray-haired woman approached us with one hand on her hip and the other firmly planted on her floral printed cane.

  “Ethel Greenway, you’re back! It’s so good to see you out and about again.” Ethel looked up from the paperback she was browsing and turned to face this small, determined woman. “Cassandra, nice to see you again.”

  “Our book club has not been the same without you. Sending reviews on books and a few comments is just not the same! If Joe picks you up, will you come out and join us again on Tuesday night? And who is this lovely young lady with you? Hello dear!” She continued to talk and when she stopped for a breath, I introduced myself.

  “Hi, I’m Lydia.” Ethel sent a smile in my direction and took a deep breath.

  “Cassandra, I am so sorry it took so long for me to get back into town. I would love to see you ladies on Tuesday. Please send Joe. I will be ready.” With a wave of her hand, Ethel made the formal introductions. “Lydia meet Cassandra, Eastport’s librarian and local gossip for the last sixty years. She knows everyone’s business. Don’t feel you need to answer her questions, she is wicked nosy. A simple ‘no comment’ will do or it might end up in the Eastport Times.”

  Cassandra shot daggers at Ethel and then turned to me with rapid fire. “You are not from around here. I know everyone in this town. So where are you from? What brings you to Eastport? How did you end up with Miss Ethel?” This woman must breathe through her ears. Weren’t librarians supposed to be quiet?

  “I’m from a small town in Pennsylvania called Nazareth.”

  “What made you come here? I don’t think we are on most maps.”

  I thought to myself, Ethel wasn’t kidding; Cassandra is nosy as fuck. “I am a home care nurse and transferred here. We loved it when we vacationed here a few years ago.”

  Cassandra opened her mouth with her next barrage of questions but Ethel spoke up instead. “Tell Joe I will be waiting for him on Tuesday. We have more things to do today. We will catch up some more then.” Ethel threaded her arm in mine and led me out of the library.

  I worked on calming the edging anxiety as we ended up on the pier. We sat on the bench in silence and watched the boats in the harbor.

  Ethel broke the silence. “I Googled you, so you know,” she stated. “Couldn’t just let a stranger move into my house. I might be old, but I’m not crazy.”

  My jaw must have been hanging at this point and she continued. “Stop worrying, Lydia. Apparently Nazareth is just as small and gossipy as Eastport.” I couldn’t help but chuckle at that as I recalled the interrogation from Cassandra.

  “This old lady may not come to town too often, but I can work that computer. I keep myself updated. Eastport has one of those Facebook pages, you know.”

  I looked over at Ethel as tears slowly leaked down my face. She continued to gaze out on the water as the ships glided across the harbor.

  “Thank you for stepping in back there with Cassandra. I was unprepared for her line of questioning.”

  Ethel grabbed my hand and held it on her lap. “Oh she is just nosey. Just remember, don’t shut your heart up in a cage. You have to let people in eventually. Trust me, sweetheart, there is more than enough room.” She gave my hand a squeeze and stood up, pulling me with her.

  “Now come on. We have places to go. I’m not getting any younger.” Ethel walked away from the pier and back toward town. It looks like we were done here.

  Ethel gave me the full tour of Eastport from the diner, to the coffee shop named Dastardly Dicks, which sounded more like a bar than a coffee shop, ending up back at the pier.

  Ethel pointed out the docked ships, told me who owned each one, and how the Navy brought some of their ships here as well. Cruise lines passed through Eastport on their way up to Canadian ports, but the highlight of this town was the lobster boats.

  The hard working lobster fishermen left before dawn and were gone until their storage galleys and tanks were full of lobsters.

  It was peaceful here, and I enjoyed it immensely. “Thank you for today. I needed it. Well, actually thank you for everything. This is the first time since losing my husband and son, I’m actually relaxed.”

  “Lydia, I know about loss, honey. It takes time, but don’t get lost in the darkness. Trust me; I know loneliness. You are too young and beautiful to be by yourself. Leaving Pennsylvania was hard and you are much stronger than you think.”

  I clutched my necklace. “The woman deep inside me is lost. I’m trying to be me again and mend my broken heart. I’m trying to create a new life and fill the empty space again. I don’t want to forget Mason and Braxton. My husband was my life and my baby boy is an angel now. I’m afraid I am going forget them as I get older. I feel like they left me behind. I just want to smile again, to laugh, to live. I feel like I’m just shuffling through time.”

  Ethel took my hands and squeezed them gently. “Look up in the sky. You are blessed with two amazing angels watching you every moment; every breath you take, your boys will be protecting you. You will never forget them, they will always be in your heart, but please darling, if love comes your way again, open your heart and allow it in. Just remember, I told you that. Now let’s go home and you can tell me about these amazing angel boys of yours, but before you do, I am grabbing a bottle of wine and a blanket. It gets a bit chilly outside and the Maine air is refreshing for the soul.”

  Arriving back at the house, Ethel went inside and I rested my face in my hands thinking I should probably grab a Xanax. No one, ever since the accident, had made me feel this way. I started to feel a new sens
e of hope for the future.

  Getting to my feet, I went inside to my bedroom closet and pulled out the box that contained their memories. I grabbed a couple photo albums and decided tonight would be the night.

  We sat on the deck for the next two hours sipping wine as we laughed, cried, and recalled anecdotes of our deceased spouses. We went through the photo albums from beginning to end. Ethel shared stories of her and her husband Harry, and I told her about Mason and Braxton.

  We sat on the back deck and sipped our wine until the bottle was empty, and Ethel broke the silence. “Three glasses of wine and a long day of walking, this old lady is ready to hit the hay.” She smiled and squeezed my hand again.

  “Ethel, thank you. You don’t know how you’ve helped me so much in the last couple days; I owe you.”

  “Oh stop. Don’t get all mushy on me now. Let’s clean this up and get to bed. You have a big day tomorrow, young lady.”

  Ryan

  Sunday

  I had a few crackers left and a bellyache from yesterday. I really overdid it. I had been dehydrated, and that had my bowels backed up, and for once in my life, I hoped it stayed that way.

  I sat for an hour last night in the doorway of the half bath, after I dumped my urine down the sink, trying to figure out how I could get my ass on the toilet. There was just nothing to hold onto. The half bath was a narrow small closet-like bathroom with just a pedestal sink nearest to the door, and a toilet against the back wall. If I tried to pull myself up on that pedestal sink, I would tear it right down. It was wobbly to begin with.

  Deciding to do something, I pulled myself out of my chair and onto the floor of the bathroom, just to see if I could do it. I nearly ripped the sink down and my hands took a wash in the bowl’s basin as I slipped on the toilet seat.

  I crawled back to my chair and hoisted by dead weight back into it. By the time I rolled over to the couch, I was ready for a nap. If nature called, guess what, I was going in nature, right off the back deck.