Through the Zombie Glass wrc-2

by Gena Showalter

  “My parents think Jace ran away. They worry about her, my mom even cries, but I can’t bring myself to tell them that she’s...that she’s... Because I can’t prove it, and I can’t answer their questions. And now you know everything I know. So we’re done here.” Justin turned and stalked from the room.

  Cole stepped forward, intending to chase, but I grabbed his arm. “Let him go. He needs to be alone right now.”

  Mr. Ankh and Mr. Holland watched as Cole settled back in his seat.

  “Some privacy,” Cole said, waving them away.

  Mr. Holland rolled his eyes and left. Mr. Ankh opened his mouth, closed it. Then he, too, took off.

  “I know you probably have more questions, but I want to talk to you about Veronica first. About what happened with her after our breakup.”

  “No,” I said, anger suddenly rising.

  He continued anyway. “I told you she went down on me, and I wasn’t lying, but I didn’t tell you that I stopped her before...just before. And I don’t think you have any idea how difficult that was. With something like that, it doesn’t always matter if a guy likes the girl or wants someone else.”

  “Should I give you a medal?” I snapped. I still hated the image of what they’d done.

  “Yes. No.” He banged his head against the side of my bed. “I’m screwing this up. Again.”

  “There’s no reason to hash this out—”

  He looked up, his gaze beseeching me. “There is. When you called me, I was with her.” He latched onto my hand, holding tight enough to ensure I couldn’t break free. “Nothing was going on, I promise you. I was telling her I wasn’t over you, I wouldn’t be getting over you and that I would be with no one but you.”

  My heart dropped into my feet.

  I wanted to give in—so bad. Can’t give in.

  I’d warned him.

  Take your refusal one step at a time. Otherwise I’d crumble like a cookie.

  First step. “Cole,” I said, plucking at the sheet covering me. “No. We’re not going there. You’re a relationship runner, not a sticker, and I can’t go through another breakup.”

  He held me tighter. “Correction. I was a runner. I’m now a sticker. I get it now. I was letting fear make my decisions for me. I was so afraid of losing someone else, I was always looking for the expiration date. Not just with you, but with all my girlfriends.”

  Could a girl dance for joy and sob with despair at the same time?

  Second step. “I’m glad you realize that, and that you’re determined to move forward, but what happens if you also realize you never got over some of those other girls?”

  “That’s not possible. I want you. And I know you warned me, told me not to even think about crawling back. I know I messed up in the worst possible way, something I can promise you will never happen again. I know, but I’m still coming after you with everything I’ve got.”

  I might have sobbed.

  Third step, the hardest. “Cole—”

  “Shh, baby. Please. Listen to me. You’re a part of me, and I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give me, for however long you’re willing to give it.” He rushed on, adding, “I’ve walked away from a lot of girls. Sometimes it hurt. Sometimes it didn’t. But I always got over it, and thought I was better for it. I haven’t gotten over you, Ali, and I’m definitely not better. I need you. Please,” he repeated.

  Another attempt at that third step. “No,” I whispered. Together, we were a roller coaster. Up and down, up and down. Sometimes you just had to stay off the ride. “My answer is no.”

  He wasn’t deterred. “I gave up too easily, and I’m not making that mistake again. I should have fought for you, just like you said. I realize that now. I didn’t trust you. Well, I’m going to trust you now, because I can’t live with the results of not trusting you.”

  As he spoke, every word wrapped in longing, he leaned forward, toward me. I absorbed the words, such beautiful, needed words. Soothing words. I wanted so badly to meet him halfway.

  Tears filled my eyes, spilled over. Fourth step. The final. “I’m sorry. I can’t. I just can’t.”

  “Baby, don’t cry. It hurts me to know I’ve upset you.” He wiped the droplets away with his thumb. “Okay, we won’t talk about this right now.” He drew in a breath, released it. “Let’s talk about the spy.”

  Definitely sobbed. “Yes. Okay.”

  “I know we suspect Gavin and Veronica—”

  “I don’t,” I said, doing my best to remain calm. “Everything inside me says they’re innocent.”

  He nodded. “Okay. I told you I trust you, and I do. I will. In everything, in every way.”

  I...didn’t know what to say.

  I gulped.

  “That leaves Kat, Reeve and Ethan,” he added, filling the silence.

  “Ethan is the only unknown.”

  “Then we’ll start with him.”

  We, he’d said.

  A waft of air hit me, and I shivered with cold.

  “May I hold you?” he asked.

  I tried to say no, I really did. “Yes.” I’d had a last kiss. Now I would have a last embrace.

  He climbed into bed with me, gathered me against him.

  I’d missed him. I’d missed this. His warmth enveloped me, and his strength soothed me.

  Meaningless...

  Right.

  “We found your phone in the woods when we swept the area for more photos. You can text your grandmother.” He pulled the device from his pocket.

  I accepted gratefully and shot Nana a text to tell her I was okay, I loved her and I would be home by eleven, just as Cole had promised. Her response was immediate. Don’t ever worry me like that again.

  Me: Will try my best.

  “Ask me something,” Cole said after I’d set the phone on the cart beside the bed.

  “Like what?” I said, confused.

  “Anything you want to know. You ask, and I’ll answer. I want you to get to know me better. Before, you said we didn’t know each other well enough, that the vision brought us together.”

  Carte blanche? Yes, please. So sure this is meaningless? “Who was your first time?” I asked.

  He snorted, saying, “Wow, okay. You aren’t messing around, are you? And just so you know, I don’t usually discuss these kinds of details with anyone. For you, though... I was fifteen, and she was twenty-one, the daughter of one of my mother’s friends. I lasted about five seconds.”

  I tried to swallow my giggles, failed. “Ugh, I shouldn’t be laughing at your extremely poor seduction skills. Because, Cole, that pervy woman totally took advantage of your childhood innocence.”

  He barked out a laugh, the sound rusty but so danged welcome. “You are too adorable for words.”

  “Why? It’s true.”

  “Maybe.”

  Not maybe. “If a twenty-one-year-old man had sex with me when I was fifteen, would you be laughing?”

  He instantly sobered. “Okay. Point taken.”

  “Tell me her name. I’m going to track her down and knock her teeth down her throat.”

  “As hot as that is, no. She’s part of a past I’d now like to forget. But...I’m glad you never slept with anyone. I don’t like the thought of you with anyone else, probably would have fed the fuc—uh, the guys more than teeth.”

  Must resist this possessive, charming side of him. “Do I get another question?”

  “You get as many as you want.”

  He sounded determined.

  I’d probably make him regret that.

  “Did you sleep with Veronica?”

  He stiffened, but he didn’t hesitate to answer. “Yes. But it was over a year ago, when we were dating.”

  “Mackenzie?”

  “Yes. Months ago, for a little while after we’d stopped dating. Then I met you, and that was over.”

  “Others?”

  “Yes. You want the exact number?”

  “No,” I grumbled. Yes. Maybe. “Am I the only girlfr
iend not to go all the way with you?”

  “No,” he said. “But I wouldn’t change anything about what we’ve done—and haven’t done. I wanted—want—you ready for me, not sleeping with me because it’s supposedly expected. I would wait forever for you.”

  Oh, glory, this totally meant something.

  Are you sure you need to resist him? “Yes, well. You might have to.” I cleared my throat. “Next, I have an observation rather than a question.”

  His arms tightened around me. “Go on.”

  “Sometimes you call Mackenzie and Veronica by cutesy nicknames. Kenz and Ronny. It’s hurtful to the girl you’re with.”

  “Do I?” He toyed with the ends of my hair. “I hadn’t realized. It’s a habit, I guess. We all parted as friends.”

  “Well, we didn’t,” I pointed out, now a little hurt by that, too. “I mean, we tried, but it clearly wasn’t working.”

  He pressed his lips together to cut off a...frown? Smile? “A. Dor. A. Bull. Baby, I still wanted you, still considered you mine and didn’t want to share you with Gavin. There was no way I could be friendly about it.”

  Dying here...

  He kissed my temple. “Enough chatting. We’ve got two and a half hours before I have to drive you home, and I want you rested. If you’re feeling better by Thursday night, I plan to take you to a party to celebrate the Tigers’ winning football season. Since we don’t have school on Friday, everyone always kicks off the four-day weekend early.”

  A chance to act normal. “I’ll go to the party, one way or another. And I’m not tired.”

  He chuckled. “Sure you’re not. Your eyelids are already half-closed.”

  “No, they’re...”

  I don’t remember finishing that sentence.

  * * *

  I woke up in Cole’s arms.

  The alarm on my phone had gone off. He must have set it before he’d fallen asleep. He never even twitched, his expression relaxed, almost boyish, and I smiled as a deep well of affection spilled over. Looking at him now, no one would ever suspect his violent nightly activities.

  Trina sat beside the bed, reading a book. When I stirred, she glanced up and said, “About time,” and closed the cover. Dare You To, by Katie McGarry. “I want you to know I was upset when I saw the video of you going after Cole so viciously. I still don’t understand it, but I’m sorry I never gave you a chance to explain.”

  “Thank you,” I said, and I meant it.

  Mackenzie strode into the room. “Heard voices,” she said. Then, “Hey.”

  “Hey,” I replied.

  “You look better.”

  “Thanks.”

  Cole stirred, stretched.

  “Okay, time for us to go bye-bye.” Trina stood.

  “But I just got here,” Mackenzie complained.

  Trina gave her a push toward the exit. “Ali, do yourself a favor and take a shower before he wakes up. Like, seriously.”

  Was I that bad?

  The two strode from the room. I eased from the bed and nearly toppled to the floor as my knees shook under my weight. There was a bathroom around the corner, and though I was nervous about looking into the mirror, I did it.

  Yeah, I was that bad.

  There was no hint of Z.A., thank God, but my hair was styled in what could only be dubbed Last Year’s Ugliest Rat’s Nest. There was a big black bruise on my cheek, a slice in my lip, a knot on my jaw. So pretty.

  Someone had cut away my blood-splattered clothing and put me in a paper-thin hospital gown. Three possible suspects. Cole, Mr. Ankh and Mr. Holland. There wasn’t a front-runner, each equally bad. When Cole first saw me naked, I didn’t want it to be like this.

  Wait. When?

  I’d just told him we weren’t getting back together.

  I’d meant it. Hadn’t I?

  Now, looking back on the conversation without the fog of anger and pain...and need...I wasn’t so sure. What I did know? Staying away from him didn’t actually have anything to do with a roller coaster. I’d never actually ridden on one, but I bet they were exciting. They had to be; people kept going back for more.

  Was I punishing him for the hurt he’d caused me? Or was I simply afraid of losing him again and doing exactly as he had done?

  Pensive, I took a quick shower, dressed in the T-shirt and sweatpants Mr. Ankh kept in the drawers. The first fit just fine. The second barely came to my ankles. Unfortunately Mr. Ankh did not keep a drawer stocked with bras and panties, so I had to go commando—the alternative to slipping back into my dirty underwear. I brushed my teeth twice and then my hair, wincing from the pain. Finally I emerged on a cloud of steam.

  Cole hadn’t moved from the bed, but now he was sitting up, watching me, his eyelids heavy. His gaze moved over me, lingering in certain places. “Com’ere,” he said, his voice low and husky with want.

  “We should probably leave,” I hedged.

  “We will. I want to kiss you first.”

  “You shouldn’t... I shouldn’t...”

  “I’ll make you glad we did,” he said softly, almost...shyly.

  How could I resist this new side of him?

  Yet another one. How many did he have? Would I fall for each of them?

  I crawled on top of him.

  His big hands tenderly cupped my cheeks, the calluses on his fingers abrading my skin in the most delicious way. Moving slowly, giving me time to stop him, he lifted his head and pressed his lips against mine.

  The cut stung a little, but I didn’t care. I kissed him with all the pent-up need inside me. The need to taste him. The need to take from him and give to him. The need to brand him, to make him mine. All mine.

  As our tongues thrust together, he shifted, rolling me to my side and hooking my leg over his hip. With the new angle, he’d created the perfect cradle and was able to scoot closer to me, practically fusing our bodies...rubbing against me, once, twice.

  “You feel good enough for this?” he rasped.

  “Stop talking and keep kissing.”

  He chuckled softly, and I nipped at his bottom lip. “Tell me if I hurt you.”

  “Still. Talking.” I slid my hands under his shirt, tugged the material over his head. He fisted the hem of my mine, and the next thing I knew, the entire thing was being tossed over his shoulder.

  Cool air brushed my skin, but the heat radiating from him quickly chased it away, even turned my blood to lava. I wrapped my arms around him, scraped my nails along his back. All the while he continued rubbing against me, back and forth, pressing, easing, pressing again...oh, yes...just...like...that.

  “Ali,” he gasped out.

  The most amazing scent wafted from him. Pure, crisp. Familiar.

  The urge to bite would follow.

  “Ali,” he said again.

  I licked my lips. “Cole.” If I could chew my way past skin, vein and bone, I could get to what I wanted. The heart of him. The—

  No! I reared back and tumbled from the bed. “I need the antidote from my pack,” I rushed out, crab-walking to the wall, widening the distance. “Now. Please.”

  He asked no questions. He hopped up, dug through the pack and rushed back to my side. There was a sharp sting in my neck before a cool river washed through my veins. And yet the river couldn’t wash away the horror of what I wanted to do.

  Cole stayed by my side, and I could still smell him. My gaze snagged on his hammering pulse, and there was a flood of moisture in my mouth.

  “More,” I said.

  “That’s too much.”

  “Just do it.”

  With a growl, he returned to the pack, found another syringe. He stuck me with more force, and another cool burst cascaded through me. My fascination with his pulse finally ebbed. The delicious smell faded. I sagged into the cold, hard floor, already crying.

  “Better?” Cole asked.

  “Better.”

  “Then why the tears?” He traced his fingers over the slope of my nose. “I’ll get Ankh. He can—”
<
br />   “No. No more tests.” We already knew what was wrong. “I just want to go home.” I’d give Nana a hug. I’d rest some more, get stronger. By the time Cole picked me up for the party, I’d be as good as new. Please.

  “All right, but we’ll need to put a shirt on you first,” he said, and I heard the thread of humor in his voice.

  Oh, spank me. As Kat would say. I was sprawled out, shirtless. Braless.

  My cheeks flushed, and I covered my chest with my hands. “Good idea.”

  “Not my best,” he said drily, “but I think your grandmother would approve.”

  “I think you’re right.”

  He smiled, and for a moment, I felt as if everything really would be okay. “Come on. I’ll take you home.”

  Chapter 22

  Can’t Go Back to Yesterday

  Nana had waited up for me, and I hugged her as planned. She looked me over and twittered over each of my bruises and abrasions.

  “I’m so glad you’re okay. When Cole called and told me you’d been in a car accident, my heart almost stopped.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said.

  “Ali, I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”

  “Nana, I...” Didn’t know what to say.

  “I know you’re fighting for a good cause, but it’s hard on me sometimes. Waiting and worrying.”

  “I’m sorry,” I repeated, but I couldn’t promise to morph into a normal teenager with normal problems, and we both knew it.

  “Yes, well, enough about that for now.” As she bustled around the kitchen to make me a sandwich, she changed the subject and said, “Are you and Cole back together? Or are you seeing two hot totties at the same time? Or are you single and just playing the court?”

  Hot totties? Playing the court? “No, Cole and I aren’t back together, but we are going to a party on Thursday. And Gavin... Well, he and I will only ever be friends.”

  “I think maybe you need to rethink things with Cole. He’s good for you. You light up when you see him, and he can actually get you to smile. It’s an honor few people receive.”

  I smiled so rarely? I hadn’t noticed.

  She slid the sandwich in front of me, and after I’d eaten every crumb, she put the plate in the sink and patted my shoulder. “Ali, bear, I know your mom talked to you about, you know, sex, so there’s no need for me to mention STDs and babies.”