by Nikki Landis
“I see. Go on.”
“I saw Darren from far away. I had every intention of killing him. He saw me at the same time and both of us fought, trying to get to the same spot. The last bomb fell, sending shrapnel flying. A huge piece flew into Darren’s back, mortally wounding him. I couldn’t save him even if I wanted to,” his voice hardened, “and I did not want to. I reached him and he told me that I was going to lose because he was certain you were dead from the bombing. I didn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing my fear. I aimed my gun at his forehead but it was already too late. He died a minute later, no remorse for his actions,” he told me bitterly.
It was sad. I almost felt bad for him but Darren had made his own decisions. He would face God for his deceptions and lies. He couldn’t hurt anyone else. Not anymore.
“I’m glad you didn’t have to do it. I wouldn’t have blamed you though. Darren had it coming. Many were after him. He would have been killed soon anyway,” I informed him.
“That is not surprising. Mal has told me as much. I’m glad he was there to comfort you. It must have been very hard. At least you had a few friends nearby.” There was a tightness to his voice that I chose to disregard.
“Yes, nearby, but Darren held me under such tight lock and key I couldn’t see anyone. I was very lonely. Mal came to see me a few times. He was trying to help me get away, with Big Dog and Diva’s help. It didn’t happen in time.”
“But he did help you, and for that I am grateful. He was there...when I was unable to be.”
What was he getting at?
“Yes, he protected me…when Darren had Parker and the other militia soldier beaten to death,” I whispered, trembling with the memory.
“I’m sorry you had to witness such barbaric actions. Darren cemented his own fate that day. Mutiny was upon his doors.” Alec shook his head, disgusted.
“Mal kept me from the worst of it,” I admitted, “without him…”
I could not continue. Mal was always there for me. Always.
“He is in love with you, isn’t he? He all but admitted it. But he isn’t the type to interfere. He knows you are happy.” Alec meant it as a statement but it came out as a question.
Was he uncertain? Did he doubt Mal would stay away from me?
“Yes, he told me recently. I had no idea. We were always good friends, nothing more. He did give me a quick kiss when he promised to help me. It was his goodbye kiss. He knows I am in love with you. He won’t cause any problems,” I promised.
At the mention of a kiss Alec stiffened. Maybe I should have kept it to myself but I remembered our promise to be truthful to each other, no matter what. I was keeping that promise.
“I know, love. No worries. I like him very much. He’s a good guy and a good soldier. I know I can trust him to take care of you if needed. Things could get crazy Lizzie. We need to have a backup plan. If something goes wrong, if something happens to me, I made Mal promise to take care of you and our son. He knows where to go, places that are safe,” he informed me.
I shook my head. “Why are you talking like this? I’m not leaving you. I won’t go anywhere without you. Stop it. Please Alec, I can’t think about that right now.”
“I’m sorry my darling but I want you to know I’m thinking of everything. You are my first priority. You come above everything else. I won’t have something happen to you. I can’t lose you again. Ever. It’ll kill me,” he admitted, his voice shaky.
I leaned in and kissed him, full of love. He trembled slightly and returned the kiss, his arms holding me like steel rods. Immovable. Strong. Capable.
“Don’t worry. You’re son and I are here to stay. We aren’t going anywhere without you, ever again. I love you.”
He sniffled and held me closer, not letting go for a long time. I finally got too hungry to lay there anymore.
“Alec? I have to eat. The baby is kicking me hard.”
He kissed me and we got up, getting dressed and heading to the mess hall. The Pit. It ran three times a day for two hour blocks. If you wanted a snack in between meals, you had to fend for yourself or get something from the kitchen’s snack area. It was similar in concept to the way Darren had it run. It was efficient.
One thing was very different from Darren though. You could live with whomever you wanted. Families could stay together. Couples could bunk together. The rule was no public displays of affection around anyone under fifteen. People agreed rather easily. It was reasonable.
We lived in one of the nicest rooms in the building. It was huge, with the bedroom in the back beside a large bathroom and a sitting room/kitchen in the front. We didn’t have to leave the room if we didn’t want to. I was getting farther along now. I was in my ninth month. My belly was large. I didn’t get out as much. The room arrangement was perfect.
Alec stayed with me often. He didn’t like to leave me unless it was necessary. I needed help to go to the bathroom and I was a little clumsy when I walked. I still had three weeks to go. I did insist on daily exercise and fresh air. It was good for me and the baby. I went outside after lunch each day.
During the last few weeks before the baby came, Alec spent a lot of time reinforcing the base, training soldiers, going on supply runs and stocking up on food. He didn’t want to go anywhere when the baby was born for a couple of weeks. The entire base awaited our baby’s arrival, constantly congratulating us.
Alec also managed to bring the bassinette I had bought all those months ago. He had infant clothes, baby blankets, and diapers. Our room grew with baby stuff. He found me a rocking chair and painted it, adding a cushion to the back and seat. He transformed an extra dresser he found into a changing table. It held the baby’s clothes underneath. He seemed to think of everything.
My due date approached, the day arrived, and then the next day. No baby. I was anxious, pacing as much as I could. I mostly waddled around, huge and miserable. I looked like a tick about to pop. My feet were swollen. I had to go to the bathroom all the time. Anything I ate gave me heartburn. I became short on temper, without meaning to.
Alec was anxious too. He tried to hide it. I could still tell. I was so frustrated I asked him to take me for a walk. It was early evening. People were out eating dinner. We got stopped constantly. I didn’t say much, my belly tight with more of those contractions, the ones I kept getting. This time it felt different. The pain was sharper and more concentrated.
Suddenly I heard a little pop and fluid gushed, running down my legs, and splashing onto the floor. I gasped and looked at Alec.
“Lizzie! It’s the baby. He’s coming now. Come on, back to the room. I got you.”
His voice was excited. He put his arm around me and helped me walk. It was slow progress. I kept dripping amniotic fluid and the real labor pains started. I had to stop when they got bad, gritting my teeth, and gripping Alec’s hand. He would help me focus and breathe, then lead me on slowly. We finally made it back to the room, where he picked me up and put me on the bed.
“Get Diva…now…please,” I gasped. “And where’s Mal?”
Diva was overjoyed to be present for the birth. I never realized how comforting it would be to have another woman in the room during labor. She was sympathetic and kind. Her presence was invaluable to me.
Mal held my hand through contractions, alternating with Alec, and helped to keep me comfortable. He rushed around, in and out of the room, and seemed genuinely anxious. I almost laughed, and probably would have, if not for the pain.
Over the next eight hours I labored, the contractions coming faster and closer together, and the baby dropping as I dilated. Alec would check on my progress, always encouraging me. He praised me, telling me I was doing a wonderful job. I was getting tired. I fell asleep off and on, awakening to sharp contractions. He held my hand, never leaving my side.
We were lucky enough to have friends help us. Someone mopped up the fluid from the floor. Water was boiled, equipment sterilized for the baby. Towels and blankets were brought in. Everything be
came ready around me. Alec hadn’t forgotten a thing.
Finally, about four a.m. I felt the need to push. Alec checked and the baby’s head was crowning. He was excited, torn between being there for me and watching his son being born. Diva laughed at his indecision. With one of them on either side, I pushed for a long time, probably an hour before I felt his head come out. The pressure relieved itself immensely and I took a deep breath.
“Almost done Lizzie. I’m suctioning his nose and mouth. One last push, my love.”
“Oh Lizzie! He’s almost here. Keep breathing!” Diva shouted in her excitement.
Mal paled. “Oh wow, Lizzie. He’s coming!”
I pushed and out he came. Alec patted his bottom and he let out his first little cry.
“Oh Lizzie! He is beautiful!” Diva cried, tears coming down her cheeks.
I smiled, tears coming to my eyes and spilling over. Alec laid him on my chest and I looked into the sweetest little face I had ever seen. He blinked at me.
“Hi my little son. I love you,” I told him softly.
The baby turned his head and started rooting, letting out a little cry. I laughed and let Alec take him, cleaning him up. He estimated his weight to be about eight pounds and his length twenty one inches. He was very healthy and strong.
I labored through the placenta and Alec checked me out, giving me a clean bill of health. I had done well. Everything looked good. I fell asleep while he was attending to the baby, perfectly content and happy. Around the compound I could hear shouts of joy and congratulations as news rang out that our son had been born.
Alec awakened me later. “I’m sorry to wake you, my love. Our son is hungry and needs his Momma. Here he is.”
I sat up and propped myself with pillows and Alec’s help. Little Benjamin latched on easily, noisily suckling away at my breast. I ran my fingers along his little pink cheeks, totally in love. Alec sat next to me, in awe. His face was content and happy.
We developed a routine. I slept in between feedings. Alec burped and changed the baby, putting him back to bed for me. When I awakened on the third day, Alec stared at me, his eyes as round as saucers. I looked down at my chest and giggled. My breasts were huge. My milk had come in.
The baby cried and I instantly started to leak. I gasped and pushed on them, calling for the baby.
“Give him to me quick,” I laughed.
Little Benjamin seemed to tell the difference. He was less noisy. He also seemed to get really full. His little eyes rolled back in his head. Alec grinned, thinking it was hilarious. He burped loudly this time. A little droplet of white milk was by his mouth. He fell asleep right after he was burped.
Alec climbed in next to me on the bed. His arms encircled me and I fell asleep to him whispering in my ear.
“I love you Lizzie. Go to sleep, my love.”
I was incredibly happy. It seemed I was made for having babies. Within two months my figure was back. Little Benjamin was happy, healthy, and eating a ton. He was the highlight of the entire compound. Whenever I took him out, we were stopped constantly. Everyone adored him. He started cooing and making little baby sounds. We were very proud parents. As happy, fulfilled, and content as we could ever be. And no one could take that from us.
Chapter Ten: Lizzie
The mess hall was crowded with new people. Tables overflowed, corners of the room were filled with refugees sitting cross legged on the floor. The only empty table was ours, which now sat filled with my friends and comrades. Diva sat on my left next to Mal and Alec was on my right. Big Dog, XXX, and several others rounded out the group, including Richard, James, and Matthew.
Cook had prepared a feast. Roast turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, corn, green beans, and rolls. For dessert there was peach cobbler and chocolate cake. Score! Breastfeeding always made me hungry and I could not wait to eat.
I pretended to ignore the conversation at the other end of the table as XXX told Mal a rather lewd and awkward joke.
“So this priest is sitting in the bar…”
I rolled my eyes. Nothing good would come from listening to XXX.
“Hello gorgeous.”
I looked up in curiosity. The comment was not directed at me but at Diva.
She arched an eyebrow. “Hello.”
Donnovan grinned. “This seat taken?”
She shook her head. “Nope.”
“What’s your name doll?” He asked, winking at her.
I had to hide my giggle behind my roll. Alec nudged me, a huge grin on his face.
Diva sat serenely, taking a bit of turkey. She chewed and swallowed, dragging out her answer.
“Diva,” she replied coolly.
“Fitting,” he answered, sopping up gravy with his roll.
He didn’t give his name. He was fishing, throwing out the line to see if she would pick up the bait. She seemed to know what he was doing and smiled. A brief look of disappointment covered his face but he hid it behind another smile.
“Diva, have you met Donnovan?” I asked, saving them both.
She shook her head.
“Michael, actually. Call me Michael,” he told her.
She dabbed at her mouth with a napkin. “Michael.”
They continued to eat, glancing at each other now and then.
“What do you like to do around here?” Donnovan asked, striking up the conversation again.
“Practice,” she replied, still focusing on her plate.
“Same for me. I think my favorite is the obstacle course but I’ve always enjoyed melee weaponry.”
He finished his food and pushed the plate aside, watching her with obvious attraction. Diva loved melee weapons. Swords, especially. But she never said a word.
“Yep.”
He seemed a little disappointed in her answer. “Would you like to take a walk? It’s beautiful today.”
She shook her head. Diva was good. She had him hanging on her every word and gesture.
“Not today. I have plans.”
“Oh. With your boyfriend?” He asked, leaning forward.
This time I did giggle and hid it behind a cough. Diva shot me a glare.
“No,” she replied, digging into her dessert.
“Then tomorrow is a great time for a walk.”
She met his stare. “If you like.”
I could tell he did. A slow wide grin spread across his face, lighting up his features. “Oh I do.”
Diva blushed, her light brown skin glowing under the cafeteria lighting.
“I’ll see you at dinner,” he promised, getting up from the table. “Later guys.”
Diva let out a breath when he was gone. I stared at her until she looked at me, shrugging.
“He is kind of cute,” she offered.
Laughter erupted around the table.
“You’ve got jungle fever. He’s got jungle fever.” XXX told her in a sing song voice, pretending to swing his hips.
She rolled her eyes. “You’re an idiot X.”
He winked at her and she laughed.
Mal batted his eyelashes at her, pretending to give loud smooching kisses. She threw her napkin at him.
I turned to Alec. “Have you ever seen him approach a girl like that before?”
He shook his head. “Nope. We’re witnessing history.”
I looked at Diva and pretended to gaze at her lovingly. “You’re beautiful doll.”
I ducked and laughed as Diva threw the rest of her roll at me. Grinning, I launched mine at her, pelting her in the chest. She nearly fell off the bench. The resulting food fight caused as much laughter as it did chaos. When it was over I surveyed my friends, smiling at their youthful exuberance. Sometimes you needed to let everything go, drop the pretense of adulthood, and behave like a child. It was good for the soul.
After that, Diva and Donnovan were seen together almost every day. They trained and sparred together, ran the obstacle course, and ate at the pit together. A fast friendship grew between them, quickly blossoming into more.
One afternoon, we were out walking. Alec had the baby strapped to his chest in one of those little carriers. He was holding my hand, beaming a huge grin. We went outside for some fresh air and sunshine. Little Benjamin fell asleep, his mouth shaped into a little ‘o’. It was adorable.
“Lizzie, how are you feeling? You look wonderful. I can’t believe you had a baby two and a half months ago. You are a beautiful mother,” he told me, winking.
“I feel pretty good. In fact, I feel back to normal. My energy is back, even if I am a little sleep deprived. Why?” I asked, teasing him and knowing the answer.
We hadn’t been intimate since the baby was born. Alec held me every night but he didn’t try anything. He was waiting for me to feel comfortable and be ready. I was now. I played the innocent to tease him, enjoying his reaction.
“Oh well, you know, I was…hoping you were recovered and feeling all right,” he stammered.
Inside, I was laughing. I kept my expression innocent.
“Are you worried about me or the baby? We are healthy.”
“Um no, I…never mind.” He looked a little frustrated.
“Oh is that all? I was hoping you wanted to make love soon. Maybe you don’t feel ready or the desire?” I asked, swaying my hips and batting my eyelashes.
A slow wide grin spread upon his lips. He turned quickly for the compound and practically ran all the way to our room. He was careful with the baby. We didn’t want him to wake up, not now. Alec put him down easy in the bassinette and he never stirred. I closed and locked our door quietly.
Alec grabbed me from behind and carried me to the bed. We fell down on it, locked in an embrace, kissing passionately. His lips ignited a trail of fire across my neck and down to my shoulder, and then lower where he placed a kiss on my belly. I had missed this, missed him, missed his touch.
