Midnight Surrender (Freedom Fighters Series Book 2)

by Nikki Landis

  “When will this ever end Alec? When will it ever be enough?”

  He wasn’t paying attention, lost in his own justification for his actions.

  “I’ll return once this is all settled. Do not worry Lizzie,” he promised.

  But what could his promise mean to me now, so easily broken, so easily modified to meet his excuses? What the hell was the matter with him?

  “I’m not sure you will have a family to return to!” I yelled, frustrated with his refusal to listen. I jumped up from the bed and stood before him.

  “What are you saying?” He asked, grabbing me by the shoulders.

  “I’m saying I’m not going to live like this. I’m not going to put our son through it anymore.”

  His eyes turned cold. “You would leave me.”

  “You aren’t giving me much choice.”

  “What choice is that? You are being ridiculous,” he ground out through his teeth.

  “I can’t keep watching you leave. I won’t keep saying goodbye. It’s killing me.”

  His hands tightened their hold and then let go. “Think about what you are saying Lizzie.”

  I looked into his eyes. “I am.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Remember this as the moment you walked away from us.”

  Alec vibrated anger. He took several steps back, his hands clenched into fists at his side.

  “I will remember this always…as the moment you left me…and I lost you forever.”

  He spun on his heels and ran out the door, yelling for Sam.

  “Sam! I need a car, now!”

  “What’s wrong Alec?” Sam asked.

  “I need to leave, and nobody is going to stop me!” He answered, his voice so full of venom it crushed my heart.

  I ran to the door and paused at the screen. I wanted to yell at him to come back. I wanted to scream for him to come to his senses. I wanted to run to him and throw my arms around his neck and beg him to stay. But I did none of those things.

  My broken heart crashed to the floor in a million pieces.

  Oh God.

  When had it become so hard? When had every decision we made become so critical and heart wrenching that it caused constant friction between us?

  It was the roller coaster ride from hell, a tumultuous ride of emotional upheaval, up and down, until I hardly knew anything anymore.

  I left the bungalow and met Mal as he approached with Benjamin. Without a word I took his little hand and left Mal behind me, walking with purpose toward the main house. Carol was sitting in a rocking chair but stood when she saw the look on my face.

  “How can I help you dear?” She asked, her eyes full of concern.

  “I don’t know,” I replied, “I don’t understand what is happening.”

  “Between you and Alec?” She guessed correctly.

  “Yes,” I released a breath I didn’t realize I had been holding, “it’s all messed up.”

  “I see. May I offer some advice?”

  “Certainly,” I responded, letting Benjamin go to play with his cars.

  “Talk to him. I know it sounds simple but being there for him is what he needs the most, whether he realizes that or not.”

  “I just tried that Carol. He refused to listen or even discuss anything with me,” I told her in desperation. “I have no idea how to reach him.”

  She patted my arm. “You will. He loves you so much Lizzie. He’s blind to the obvious sometimes, only because he can’t think past his desire to protect you at any cost.”

  Huh. I guess that was true. But it did not condone his actions. Or dismiss them.

  “Let me take Benjamin for the afternoon. Give you some time to work things out with Alec,” Carol offered.

  “I don’t know where to begin,” I admitted.

  “You will figure it out,” she responded, giving me a squeeze, and leading little Benjamin into the kitchen.

  I stood there for a minute unsure of how to act. Alec was talking to Mal right now. Did I go to him? Try to talk things through? Or should I leave him be? Wait on him to seek me out? Or what?

  In the end, out of complete cowardice, I walked back into the bungalow. Alec was going to have to make the first move. I was certain that I would never get any further than hello.

  Chapter Thirty Five: Alec

  Alec stood his ground as Mal approached, fully expecting another fight.

  “Can’t you see it’s tearing her apart?” Mal yelled, shoving Alec in the chest.

  “It’s tearing both of us apart!” Alec yelled back, falling to his knees.

  Mal did not expect that reaction. Alec saw the look of surprise on his face. He was certain Mal would try to fight him but he didn’t.

  Enough was enough. Instead of directing any of his anger at Mal he sank to the ground, his shoulders slumped in defeat like a man headed for the gallows. Alec was not sure what he was even angry about anymore.

  Mal’s ire seemed to cool considerably. He sat down on the ground next to Alec and pulled out a cigar, regarding him with a cool and focused expression.

  “I was saving this…but what the hell.” He lit the cigar and took a few puffs, enjoying the rich flavor before he handed it to Alec.

  Alec accepted it from him and took a couple of long drags, staring out across the field.

  Neither of them spoke for a long time. Plumes of smoke encircled their heads, dissipating, then rising higher into the clouds. The cigar passed between them periodically.

  “Wanna talk about it?” Mal asked, inhaling smoke through his nose.

  Where did he start? There were so many things gone wrong, it had grown from a snowball into an avalanche.

  Alec looked up at the smoke and watched it curl around him. “I’m screwed. I really did it this time Mal.”

  Mal seemed to think that over. “What are you going to do about it?”

  He frowned, slightly irritated. Mal always asked him that. Always the brutal truth.

  “It’s complicated,” he finally answered.

  “Bull shit. That’s an excuse Alec and you know it.”

  Anger flashed through him and he glared at Mal. “How do you know? Don’t you think I would be doing something if I could?”

  Mal shook his head. “No, because you don’t Alec. Sometimes you are really blind to the truth, especially where it concerns Lizzie.”

  Alec was about to argue when he realized that Mal was right. He did have a blind spot when it came to her.

  He sighed. “I hate that you are right.”

  Mal laughed, flicking ash onto the ground, and passed the cigar back.

  “That’s something I enjoy hearing you admit.”

  “I bet you do,” Alec smirked, laughing with him.

  They both chuckled, easing the tension between them.

  “You have to make it right,” he told him, daring Alec to deny it.

  “I know Mal.” He handed him the cigar.

  “Now. Before you leave,” he pressed.

  “Why are you helping me?” Alec asked, incredulous.

  Mal sighed. “Because love like that…is worth fighting for.”

  Alec gulped, stunned at the simple truth and ardent honesty. He had forgotten. He had let his own fear lead him down a dark path. Foolish and stubborn, he had let his temper guide him instead of his heart. Without realizing his error, he had pushed Lizzie away.

  Alec choked back tears and stood up. “You’re right.”

  Mal looked a little sheepish. “I know. I’m pretty good at observing the two of you.”

  He laid his hand on Mal’s shoulder. “Thank you. I owe you one.”

  Alec walked quickly toward the bungalow. He would not let another minute go by without telling Lizzie the truth. She needed to know everything. It was time.

  “Lizzie! Lizzie!” He yelled, running in the front door, his voice booming into the air.

  Lizzie was seated at the dining room table, her head resting in her hands. Salty streaks marred her pretty face, the tears having dried long ago.
Her eyes were still watery and sad. Large brown eyes, slightly pink from her distress stared at the door when Alec entered.

  He stopped for a moment, his face full of remorse and longing, and then he launched himself toward her. Alec slipped his arms around her waist, burying his head into her lap. The emotional dam burst, releasing all of the pent up anger, frustration, hurt, and regret that had been held back for months. He let the tears fall, hugging her waist like a lifeline.

  “Lizzie…Lizzie,” he repeated, over and over.

  The tears choked him, burning his throat until it was hoarse. And still they fell, washing away the sorrow and blame, the hurt and misunderstanding, until he had nothing left. She cried with him, holding onto him as tightly as he held on to her. In the silence that followed, clutching her tight, Alec continued to press his cheek against her stomach, the light kicking of his second child reminding him of the truth.

  Alec and Lizzie loved each other. Not simple and innocent. Not feral or in need. It was more than attraction and lust. While all of these had made up their relationship at one point or another, it was not the cornerstone or the foundation.

  They had moved past the annoyances and little grievances that made up the early years. They knew their own faults and those of their mate; neither Alec nor Lizzie was perfect. It was those little imperfections that were so endearing one moment and irritating the next. They were easy to overcome.

  As husband and wife, they lifted each other up, despite those faults. They had managed to find the best in each other and exploit it, becoming much loser in their first year of marriage than some people do in their lifetime. It was love that had done it. Love that held them together, through it all, and love that had endured.

  They were the real deal. Not imagined or fake. No pretense or image. They had a marriage worth keeping. Strong. Dependable. Enduring. Sure, it was messy at times. The mess was usually his fault.

  More than once Alec had to repair a mistake, or save a hasty remark. But there was no one in this world he would rather fight with, share his heart with, or kiss and make up with. Lizzie was his other half, her love was his sustenance, his lifeblood. Alec was a better man because she was with him.

  It was with that realization that he finally spoke. He kissed her stomach and tilted his head, looking into the soft brown eyes of his beloved wife.

  “I’m sorry Lizzie. I’m terribly sorry for pushing you away, for lashing out at you and causing you to suffer, and I’m most sorry for wasting the precious time we have together. I love you,” he told her simply, “not because I want you, not because you’re beautiful or the mother of my children, not because we are married, but because my heart beats only for you.”

  A lone tear slipped down her cheek, traveling slowly toward her mouth. He caught it with his finger and wiped it way. She took a deep breath and he saw the pain he had caused her reflected in her eyes. It would take more than sweet words and kisses to heal that hurt.

  “I know I have hurt you. I know I messed up. I’m not going to ask for your forgiveness right now because I don’t deserve it but-”

  She silenced him by putting her finger to his lips. Lizzie never uttered a word. Silently she took his hand and led him toward the bedroom. Laying on the bed she pulled him with her until she rested her head against his shoulder. He held her close, knowing in that moment his warmth and love was all that she needed.

  It was the longest they had ever spent together in silence, with the exception of sleep. Neither Alec nor Lizzie drifted off. More than once she would squeeze him tight. More than once she would sigh, with either contentment or a discarded thought. He continued to hold her, his embrace unyielding. The time passed into hours.

  He was surprised when she lifted her head and searched his eyes. Before he could speak Lizzie lowered her mouth to his. The kiss was gentle but strong. It melted his heart. Normally it was Alec who initiated affection, not because she would not, but because he could never get enough of Lizzie when she was near. He realized he seldom left her the opportunity.

  Alec was caught off guard when he realized how erotic that was when she initiated it all on her own. She kissed him again, her tongue darting with his, exploring but cautious, as her hand rested against his cheek. He trembled, warmth spreading through his entire body like a shot of hard liquor. She nibbled his bottom lip as a small moan escaped his throat.

  With a quickness that stole his breath she straddled him, a small smile playing at the corner of her lips. He reached for her but she shook her head, pressing his arms against the bed. She did not speak but he knew Lizzie meant to keep him still. The warmth in his belly traveled south and Alec’s breath quickened along with his pulse.

  Lizzie was playing with him, like a cat with a mouse. He shivered, anticipation like an aphrodisiac ran through his veins. With deliberate slowness she removed her shirt and leaned to kiss him again. He was swimming in ecstasy. Alec’s fingers clenched and unclenched. He grabbed the sheets, needing something to occupy his empty hands.

  Her lips were swollen from her kisses when she leaned back again. Her eyes had softened and liquefied making the golden brown seem like melted chocolate. He tried to lean forward to kiss her again but she shook her head. A low growl escaped his lips and this time Lizzie was the one who shivered.

  The game continued, Lizzie leading until Alec could no longer control his desires. With an almost inhuman moan he yanked her into his chest and covered her mouth with his, one hand resting on the small of her back, and the other reaching behind her head to cup her neck, holding her close as he explored the sweet cavern of her mouth.

  She let out a half moan, half sigh of contentment as his lips traveled along the delicate column of her throat, past the throbbing vein in her neck, down to the ridge of her collar bone. He slipped the strap of her bra off her shoulder, his tongue swiping across her velvety skin. His hands unhooked it behind her and pulled it away as he gazed at the beauty in front of him.

  God she was gorgeous. His mouth lowered to the peak of her pink nipple, drawing the quivering flesh forward, sucking and nipping with his teeth. She cried out, grasping his head in her hands, the gentle sway of her hips rocking against him in her desire. His hands fell to her waist, pulling her in, arching his hips against her as his own need deepened. He wanted to feel her, to lodge himself inside her, to plunge into her depths until nothing was left but the two of them.

  She smiled as he tossed his shirt aside and threw his pants across the room. The belt clanked on the wooden floorboards and she laughed, a deep sultry sexy sound that vibrated his chest along with his groin. He reached for her, impatient, practically yanking on her skirt and ripping the panties from her body. She gasped as he growled low in his throat.

  Alec paused, the sudden desire to take his time with her and draw this moment out consumed him. He gently pulled her into his chest as his arms tightened. Their eyes locked, chained to each other, united in the love and passion that mirrored two merged souls. No words passed between them, but he was saying, in no uncertain terms, that she was his and his alone. Lizzie nodded.

  His lips met hers, searching, exploring, giving and taking, dueling with her tongue the moment he thrust it into her mouth. He turned, laying her against the sheets, lowering his body until they were pressed together. Her thighs parted, opening to him, beckoning him to come home. Alec met her unspoken question with a swift plunge as he gathered her close, returning his lips to hers, as she met his thrust with a rise of her hips, lifting off the mattress to meet him.

  He began to move, a delicious rhythm, matching the thrust of his tongue to the movement of his hips. Little sighs and moans of pleasure passed her lips. She pulled him in, closer, the friction of their bodies causing them to sweat, but he neither noticed nor cared. Their fingers clasped, palm to palm, meeting across the sheets, and he intertwined them, pulling her even deeper into him, as his hips drove into hers. A moan escaped her lips and he smiled.

  Slowly, carefully, he made love to his beloved wife.
Every caress, every sigh, every moan etched itself perfectly into his memory, searing him forever. If he died at this moment, he would die a happy man. The burst of pleasure, launching at the same time from them both, sent him into oblivion. For a few brief seconds he glimpsed heaven, astonished and grateful for the gift of Lizzie in his life.

  He wrapped his arms around her, so full of love that it nearly stole his breath from his chest. He had intended to break the silence first and tell her that he loved her but it never happened. She put her finger to his lips and lay her head over his heart. The intimacy of the moment held him spellbound.

  “I love you Alec,” she whispered, clutching him tight, until at last she fell asleep.

  That simple sentence was his undoing and silent tears dripped from his eyes. He had been such a fool. Why had he treated her so callously? Why?

  Her constancy, her stalwart strength of character should have been enough to shake him from his stupidity. If nothing else mattered or made sense, it was the fact Lizzie loved him that grounded Alec. It held him hostage. Completely. Unconditionally. Irreversibly. It was everything Alec needed. And everything he did not deserve.

  He held her while she rested, the tears ceasing, peace descending upon him and covering him like a blanket. He sighed softly with contentment.

  The chiming of the grandfather clock in the hallway heralded the hour. It stopped at twelve.

  Midnight.

  He glanced at the beauty in his arms, his wife, his companion, his deepest love. His life was incomplete without her. Alec surrendered in that moment. He lay the fight down. There was no point to anything, not to life, not to his future, not to his very existence if he lost her in the process.

  A surrender at midnight.

  In Lizzie’s arms.

  The perfect place to start anew. Fresh. Alive. Forgiven.

  Alec’s soul had been restored. Healed. Complete. And Lizzie was the reason. She had done it without knowing how close to the edge he had come. In her innocence she rescued him, saving him from certain destruction. He would love her forever for that, and never forget again.