Blackness Takes Over & Blackness Awaits

by Karlsson, Norma Jeanne

  “Hey, the boys are gonna go eat lunch at The Corner Café. You wanna go?” I ask Kel.

  “Sure. Whatever you wanna do I’m good with,” he shrugs. That’s not what you said last night. I’m holding a grudge.

  “Yeah Kavy, we’ll meet you. ’Bout an hour, ’kay?”

  “That’s good for us. See ya soon.” We hang up.

  “Can we sit and talk for a few minutes before me meet the guys?” Kel asks.

  “Sure, we’ve got time. What’s up?” I can’t do another safety talk or I will scream.

  “I just wanted to clear up some things from last night,” he says softly. I flip up my sunglasses into my hair and look at his face. He’s kind, but somber at the same time.

  “’Kay.” I wait.

  “I didn’t dismiss you…that’s the word you used, I think…last night.” My eyes bug out. Not where I thought this conversation was going. I suck my eyes back in their rightful places before he notices my reaction.

  “What word do you use?” I ask softly, with a hint of snark.

  “The hardest fuckin’ thing I’ve had to do in a long time.”

  “What?!” I’m lost.

  “Kid, I’d be fuckin’ lucky to get even a chance with you, much less an offer,” he winces at his words. “You’re…I don’t even have the words to describe…perfect comes to mind but it seems too small. Whatever the perfect word for perfect is, multiply that by ten and maybe you’ll get close.” I snicker at that. “If I’m ever gonna kiss you…and I doubt you’ll give me the chance after last night…I don’t want it on a club floor to entertain and tease some serial rapist.” We both wince at that one.

  I don’t have a response to this. I am out of snark and my logical brain is spinning. What the fuck do I say? A girl would know what to say right now. Something sweet and endearing, all I can think of is some version of “fuck off”. Classy.

  “When Finn called me yesterday after you left the hospital I was shocked.” I furrow my brow. Finn did what? “He explained the things goin’ on with Butch’s trial and asked me if I’d feel comfortable helpin’ the guys keep an eye on you. He said you seemed to trust me and that was a huge deal for you and them. When I walked into Flannery’s and saw you my whole world stopped. I’ve never seen any of the wonders of the world, but I’m sure you made them all look like second rate tourist destinations. When Kavanagh asked me to come get you away from your ex, I was already on my way before he asked, I couldn’t wait to be able to touch you. Havin’ my arm around your waist like you were mine, when you’re clearly not, was the sweetest torture of my life.” My mind is fucking reeling. I still haven’t said a word. I’m just listening and staring into his teal pools. His eyes are genuine and soft.

  “Then we get to Bar and I get to hold your hand. I could hold your hand every day and it wouldn’t be enough. Then I saw all the eyes on you and it fucked with me. You deserve better than me, so I backed off. When I watched you dance with O’Sullivan it warmed my heart. You were so happy and free. Watching you feel like that, I wanted to be the one to put that smile on your face and that glow on your skin. I didn’t even notice that chick sitting down next to me until you were coming back up to the VIP. I got rid of her as quick as I could, but then Jason was on you. I should have kept my distance when he stepped in.” He closes his eyes and shakes his head like he just got slapped.

  “I couldn’t, Kid. I tried, I really did, but I couldn’t let him just have you without givin’ it a shot. When you jumped at the chance to dance with me I thought we were on the same page. Not like you and the other guys, who you obviously love but it has a boundary, I thought we were headed toward something different. You movin’ in my hands…I was undone. When I realized that rapist was watchin’, I wanted to kill him. Not figuratively, literally with my hands around his throat squeezing the life outta him. I’ve known guys like him, they don’t deserve to breathe much less entertain the idea of you. So when you wanted to kiss me for his benefit I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want the best moment of my life tainted by him. That’s what I mean when I say it was the hardest thing I’ve had to do in a long time.”

  I stand up from the picnic table and walk around to his side. He follows me with his whole body swinging his legs over the bench and ending up with the table at his back and me standing in front of him. I pause for a moment, then act. Thinking won’t bode well for me now, action is what’s needed. I climb onto his lap straddling my legs around his hips and wrap my arms around his neck tight.

  “That’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me,” I whisper in his ear and press my lips into the side of his head. He pulls back from me and looks in my eyes. Desire is pouring out of his like lava from a volcano. Kel grasps my chin and pulls it gently forward to his face. There’s a second’s hesitation and then his mouth is on mine, tender and sweet. His lips are soft and plump, I could sleep on these things. He runs his hand to the nape of my neck and pulls me harder to him, increasing the hunger of the kiss. His other hand slips under my tank and caresses the small of my back. Cue the cheesy soundtrack and fireworks, ladies and gentleman! Never a tongue in play and this is the best kiss I have ever had, hands down. He pulls back and pecks me one time for good measure as I rest my forehead against his to catch my breath.

  “Wow,” he whispers.

  I agree, “Wow.” We both snicker and sit up.

  “We should get goin’ if we’re gonna meet the guys,” I say. Not really giving a shit if I see them or not, as long as that kiss is a teaser of what’s left to come. He nods and I untangle from his lap. We head toward the car and he grabs my hand intertwining our fingers. I look down at our hands and beam. He deserves a reward for that kiss but even more for that story. I reach in my pocket and pull out my keys to dangle them in front of his face. He snaps his head at me and raises his eyebrows.

  “You sure?”

  “You better take the opportunity while it’s there, I’m almost changing my mind as we speak.” I’ve never let anyone other than my mechanic drive Shelby.

  He snatches the keys from me and quickens our pace to the car. I giggle as he drags me behind him. Kel walks me over to the passenger side, lets me in and shuts the door. I reach over and unlock the driver’s door before he gets there.

  “You passed the bitch test,” he announces, as he settles in and adjusts the seat.

  “Always have and always will. You passed the gentleman test,” I smirk.

  “Oh so this is how you test out your dates,” he chides. “You try to distract them with one of the greatest cars ever and see if they still have manners?”

  I snicker. “I’ve never let anyone drive Shelby before, Kel,” I grin. “This is my first time, so be gentle.” His eyes bug out of his head and I think he stops breathing. I wait.

  He reaches across the car and grabs my neck pulling me to his face and smashes his lips to mine. This kiss is not gentle or sweet, it’s animalistic. His tongue makes its way out of his mouth and he pulls my bottom lip in between his teeth to nibble and suck it. I moan. I smash my mouth back onto his and part my lips, his tongue jumps at the invitation. He massages his tongue against mine hungrily, sensually. Moaning into my mouth he slows down and pulls back, kissing me chastely on my lips, nose, and forehead.

  “Thank you,” he says and cranks the engine. As he pulls away I can’t resist.

  “If that was my thank you for letting you drive my car, I can’t imagine what you’ll give me after I let you fuck me.” He slams the brakes.

  “Don’t,” he snarls with desire, “I don’t wanna crash Shelby. No talkin’ about or alluding to sex with you while I drive. As a matter of fact, no touchin’ either. You stay on your side of the car and I’ll stay on mine until we are safely at our destination.”

  “Aye, aye Captain,” I salute and burst into laughter. I don’t want him crashing my car either, so I won’t test him. That takes an amazing amount of willpower. I’m strong!

  We drive in pleasant silence and I appreciate the scenery a
round me. I’m always the driver so this is a nice reprieve for me. We pull into the parking lot and see the boys waiting outside on a bench for us. Kavy is on his feet when he sees Kel driving. He parks and before I’m out the door Kavy’s in front of me grabbing my hand to lead me out.

  “You sick, Kid?” His face and tone are concerned.

  “Nope,” I reply. His face drops.

  “Why’s Kellerman driving Shelby then, Kid?” His brows are furrowed so tight he has a unibrow.

  “It was a thank you gift to him.” I wink, shut the door, and move around the now shocked stupid Aaron Kavanagh.

  “What!?” he bellows back at me. I’m now standing with everyone in a circle, Kel has his hand on the small of my back. Kavy pushes his way between us knocking me back a bit.

  “Christ Kavy,” I hiss at him.

  “What the fuck, Kid? What could you possibly be thankin’ him for that earns drivin’ Shelby?” he asks incredulously. I give him the “you know why” look.

  He spins on Kel. “You fucked her?” he sneers a little loud for the venue.

  I grab his arm and spin him around. “Jesus fuck, Kavy. Keep it down,” I hiss under my breath and glare at him. “Not that it’s any of your business, but no he didn’t fuck me, I’m not one of your hotdog down a hallway randoms. It’s my goddamn car and I let him drive for my own personal reasons. If you don’t back the fuck off, I swear to God you and I are going to throw down. I’ve had enough of your shit this weekend to last a lifetime.”

  “O’Sullivan party of six,” is called on the loud speaker and not a moment too soon. The other three start to move in the restaurant while I continue to glare at Kavy. Kel is watching us closely, trying to figure out if he needs to step in. I wait. I’m not backing down from Kavy. He grabs me around my waist and scoops me up to him. I wrap my arms under his and squeeze his rock hard torso.

  “I’m done. I promise,” Kavy mutters in my hair. “Sorry.” He puts me down and turns to Kel.

  “You seem like a good guy, Kellerman,” he growls, staring Kel down and Kel is holding his own. “If you ever hurt her, even think about hurting her, we’ll do shit to you that makes Reservoir Dogs look like child’s play.” He sticks his hand out to Kel to shake, like it’s a bet or an agreement they’ve just reached.

  “If I hurt her,” Kel grasps and shakes Kavy’s, “I’ll deliver myself to you guys willingly,” he finishes emphatically. I guess what I have to say about this is unimportant; it’s only my life they’re discussing. Kavy nods and heads inside. Kel smiles at me and gestures for me to go ahead of him. He reaches in front of me to open the door and places his hand in the small of my back to lead me in. Once at our table he pulls out my chair for me, takes the empty one next to mine, and places his hand on my thigh. He doesn’t move it the whole time we eat.

  We enjoy a normal lunch. Giving each other shit, telling stories about last night’s randoms (wow), and laughing our asses off. This is the family I love, even if I’m sure someone got crabs last night.

  We split off from lunch, Kel and I head to the store and the guys head home to watch the Bears game. Kel and I get home with all the groceries just a few minutes into the game. The Bears and the Chiefs get equal play and respect in this house. I put away the groceries and pull out some snacks for the boys. I come over to the couch, plop down next to Kel and get into the game. We yell and scream at the TV for hours. I make us chicken for dinner with roasted vegetables. Pumpkin spice cake for dessert, and I have happy boys on my hands.

  Kel and Kavy are doing the dishes. Cally, Sully, and Finn are heading downstairs to play pool in the game room. I’m supposed to be joining the three but am eavesdropping on the dish-washers instead, after hearing my name before I made it down the stairs. Classy, I know, and becoming a habit this weekend.

  “Like I told ya last night, we met first day of class freshman year,” Kavy explains, “been inseparable since.”

  “I know what you said,” Kel chides. “I’m just wonderin’ how three guys like you ended up, with the most amazing woman I’ve ever laid eyes on, as just friends?” The most common question we hear.

  “It’s a long story to tell ya the truth. Kid’ll fuckin’ kill me for tellin’ it, but you need to know to understand us. If you’re serious about being with her you need to know we’re a package deal man. Where Kid goes, we go. If I tell you this story and it’s too much for you…you bow out now before she knows you know. If she tells you, and you bail, my previous promise becomes a reality. I’m givin’ you your one mulligan right now. You want it?”

  There’s a pause and I’m holding my breath. I can’t believe Kavy’s going to tell him this story. I AM going to fucking kill him, but he’s right too. If I told Kel and he couldn’t take it…that would crush me and I don’t need any crushing. The only people that know this are the people that were there that night and the rest of the boys’ families. I’ve never told anyone, it’s too hard. I also haven’t had a serious relationship because of this. I can’t seem to open up to people. Trust isn’t something I’ve done with a man…ever. I want to trust Kel though, I feel like I already do a little. He’s different from the other guys I’ve been with. I don’t know if it’s Mia or him trusting me with his story or what, but I know that I want to try with him, and I’ve never wanted to try with anyone before him.

  “Man, whatever you wanna tell me, I’m all ears. I don’t spook Kavanagh. If you want Kid to tell me, I’m happy to wait, but if you think I need to know right off the bat, then I’ll listen.” I hear two bar stools scrape against the tile and two beers open. They’re getting comfortable. Too bad I’m scrunched in a ball hiding behind a corner. Kavy starts.

  “My side of the story is simple. It was love at first sight, man. She was like a shiny present on Christmas morning when I spotted her in class. She put us three in our places like she was swattin’ flies. She didn’t give a shit who we were, what we looked like, how much money our parents had, nothing. We were all so impressed with her…we didn’t know what to do. I called dibs which was important to us back then. If one of us called dibs the others had to bow out respectfully, but none of us would back off so the other could stake a claim on her. So after class we agreed none of us would make a play, no girl was worth ruining our friendships. But we were still all so intrigued with her, we invited her to a party at our place that same night, and she came. We couldn’t fuckin’ believe she agreed to come, but we promised her that we’d keep the creeps off her.” Kavy’s voice trails off. This has got to be hard for him.

  “She showed up at our place when the party was in full swing. Last night was the only time I’ve seen her look better than when she walked in my place that night. I can remember every detail about her. Her hair was up, her shirt was sparkly and came up high on her collarbone, it was completely backless man.” They both sigh. “Perfect fuckin’ jeans that cupped her ass, and high heel things that made her legs look like they went on for days longer than they already do. She was breathtaking. And as I saw every dude in there start to eye fuck her and every chick in there wanting to be her, a switch flipped. I wanted to protect her not fuck her. You can ask Cal and O’Sullivan, they’ll tell you the same thing happened with them too. I can’t explain it…it was almost primal.”

  “Nah man, I get that. I felt that same protectiveness last night.”

  “Yeah, but you still wanna fuck her.” Kavy is a little harsh with that one. There’s silence again, and I get worried but Kavy keeps going.

  “This guy I had known from high school was there that night, Liam McKinley. He was a prick, I never shoulda let him in my place but he was always around and had never caused trouble before. He was the guy with party favors. Anyway he took a liking to Kid and tried to make a play for her. Sully brushed him off and we stayed glued to her all night. She wasn’t as stubborn then as she is now and listened when we told her not to go anywhere without us.” Fucker.

  “She needed to take a piss so I took her up to my room so she wouldn’t be bot
hered. No one went up there, and I kept the door locked. I left her in there to run down stairs. I still to this day can’t remember why. I left the key on the inside of the door but unlocked and went back down stairs. I was eighteen and fuckin’ stupid. I never shoulda done that. Never!” Kavy’s voice is pained and I want to stop him, but I let him continue. He sighs and I hear another beer crack open.

  “When I went downstairs this guy Brendan I went to high school with cornered me, and started feedin’ me shots. He had this chick with him and she was talkin’ about threesomes and all kinds a shit that distracts drunk, horny, eighteen-year-olds. It had been at least twenty minutes maybe more, when I realized I had left her up there. When I said I needed to go, that fucker Brendan tells me ‘Liam’s probably not done with her yet’. I fuckin’ flipped, screamed for Cal and O’Sullivan, told Finn to keep that clown Brendan and flew up the stairs. The door was locked, and I knew shit was bad. It took me a few good tries, but I shattered that door. He was on top of her and had his teeth sunk into her hip like an animal. I ripped him off of her and threw him to O’Sullivan and my brother Ryan. I thought she was dead, Kellerman.” There’s a hitch in Kavy’s voice. Silence hangs for a long time before he continues.

  “Her pants were around her ankles and her hands were zip tied behind her back. That mark he left on her hip was dripping blood, and there was a trail of blood running down the back of her neck. But her face, I still have nightmares about her face. Her eyes were swollen shut and purple, her left jaw was the size of a baseball, and she was covered in blood. If I didn’t know it was her, I wouldn’t have been able to identify her. Cal picked her up off the floor and started screaming at us to help him cut her loose and get blankets and shit. He got her to move her fingers so we knew she was still able to function a little. Sully started talkin’ about gettin’ her to the hospital and how to go about it, and she flipped. She shook her head no so hard…I don’t know how she found the strength. We weren’t gonna do anything she didn’t want so Cal called his dad, he’s a doctor, and he fixed her up for the night and hired a nurse to take care of her.