Blackness Takes Over & Blackness Awaits

by Karlsson, Norma Jeanne

  He turns on his heel and leaves the room shutting me in blackness again. I welcome the alone time. I start to think about everyone I love. I want their faces in my head and love in my heart right now. My boys must be so worried about me. “I’m okay,” I whisper hoping they can feel me with them. I think of Kel. He’s going to be a father. While this pains me more than I can consider, I push it from my mind and try to be happy for him. He’ll be an amazing father. I imagine him laughing and playing with a little boy that shares his golden hair and teal eyes. I feel pain in my chest but a smile pulls at my lips. I have to let Kel go.

  Taylor…he loves me. He’ll find me. I know he’ll fight hard to find me. I feel comforted in the thought that he’s out there searching for me. My heart is still with Kel, I can’t just turn that off. If I can get through this and end things the right way with Kel, Taylor and I could have something. He could be my one.

  I think of the rest of the amazing family that I have. My dads, both moms, my brothers, if I die they have each other…they’ll be okay. I think of Mia having Butch, I’m so relieved she won’t be alone anymore.

  I come to terms over the next, hours I’m assuming, that I may not be here in the world much longer. While this revelation is devastating, I’m strangely okay with it. I’ll fight as long as I can, but I get the feeling it’s the first fight in my life I won’t win. I have to be okay with this being the end. If I fight with everything that I’ve got and still lose, I’ll die having no regrets. I’ll have peace. I’ve lived a great life surrounded by love and support. It wasn’t conventional but it was strong and unconditional. I will miss this life.

  Kavanagh

  We land at Chicago Executive Airport and rush out of the plane to waiting SUVs and our families. Pop, Ryan and Adam are there and at the sight of them I almost lose it. I walk determinedly to them engulfing my brothers in my arms. I hear Adam let out a small sob and that’s all it takes to steel myself. I’ll be strong for my family. I squeeze them tighter before I let them go and turn to Pop.

  “We’re gonna find her, Pop,” I say with no waver in my voice. He wraps his hand around the back of my head and crushes it to his shoulder. I take a breath remembering to keep my strength.

  “You find her,” he orders me. “I’ll fuckin’ bury every one of the motherfuckers that had a hand in this.” Pop’s pissed. Pop’s scary pissed. I pull away from him and look up to see Dr. Callaghan having a similar powwow with Aidan and Cal. Sully Sr. isn’t here but Collin and Hugh are, and they’re animatedly filling O’Sullivan in. Kellerman and Taylor are avoiding each other like the plague and giving us space with our families.

  “Dylan,” Pop calls over my shoulder. Kellerman quickly makes his way over to us. Pop, Ryan and Adam all get a good look at Kellerman’s face and I feel guilty as shit for the first time. He looks awful and from what I can tell, for no good reason. We have fucked up monumentally today. Starting with Kellerman.

  “What happened to you?” Pop asks with an accusatory tone in his voice, presumably at me.

  “Misunderstanding,” Kellerman replies.

  “Bullshit,” Pop retorts. “You four get your asses in the SUV. We’ve got shit to do.” We get our asses in the SUV. The others follow suit and we’re off to make the quick drive to Highland Park where all of our families live. It’s only a twenty minute drive, but every minute we’re not moving toward Kid is another minute I feel like I’m failing her.

  “What happened to your face, Dylan?” Pop asks again as he pulls onto the I-294.

  “It was just a misunderstanding, sir. I’m fine,” Kellerman replies again dodging the question. This is not going to go over well with my father.

  “I didn’t ask if you were okay, I asked what happened,” Pop states pointedly. Time for me to intervene.

  “We happened, Pop,” I say softly. I’m going to get in trouble like a teenager in about two seconds.

  “What the fuck does that mean, Aaron?” he bellows. I’m sitting next to him in the passenger seat and he cuts his eyes to me waiting for an answer.

  “The guys and I thought Kellerman did something to Kid. Roughed him up before we got all the facts…while Kid got grabbed. O’Sullivan’s handy work on his face, mine on his throat, and Aidan’s on his body. Cal didn’t get a chance to have a shot,” I explain. Pop flicks his eyes to the rearview mirror searching for Kellerman to substantiate my claims. He must get it nonverbally because he moves his gaze back to the road without a word.

  “You’re tellin’ me you’re beatin’ the shit outta Dylan for no reason while my daughter’s bein’ ripped from your home?” Those words cut through me like a scalpel, razor sharp leaving a slow bleed. He’s right. We fucked up today and this is our fault.

  “Yes,” I reply to his question in a whisper. He roars and slams his hands into the steering wheel repeatedly as we all watch in silent horror. My father never loses his cool. He’s the premier attorney in Chicago and known for keeping his cool when all others would lose their shit. He’s currently losing his shit. I’m terrified.

  “Dad,” I hear Adam shakily call from behind me. Pop stops and breathes heavily through his nose trying to calm himself down. After a few minutes just as we’re pulling into our neighborhood my father turns to me.

  “This isn’t your fault,” he says confidently. “We will find her.” I don’t look his way because this is my fault and I don’t know if we’ll find her the way we want to. “Aaron, look at me.” I look his way as we pull into the Callaghan’s driveway. His eyes are pained and furious.

  “This isn’t your fault. That wasn’t about you, it was about me. She’s my daughter and I’m scared outta my fuckin’ mind. It’s not your fault,” he says reaching across the console to squeeze my hand. I look down at his fingers wrapped around mine. He’s scared. The last time he was scared mom died. This is so fucked up. I can feel the tears leaking from my eyes, but I make no move to stop them or look at my father.

  “Aaron, we’ll find her,” Ryan says from behind me gripping my shoulder. I can hear the tears in his voice. I can’t be strong for them. I’m crumbling under the guilt. My door flies open behind my back.

  “We’re not doin’ this,” O’Sullivan commands. “Get your shit together, get outta this car and fuckin’ help me!” I turn my gaze to him. He knew I was crying before he opened the door. He’s pulling me out of myself like we always do for each other. I give him a quick chin lift, wipe my hand down my face and climb out of the SUV.

  “We got this. Wherever she goes, we go,” O’Sullivan says wrapping his arm around my shoulders. He’s right. I won’t quit until I find her.

  Kellerman

  Kavanagh just broke the fuck down and his dad had a maniacal shit fit. I’m officially the calmest of this bunch. Ryan and Adam look sick. I know they’re older than Kid, but she’s the momma bear to these guys. They’re lost without her. So am I. I follow behind the Kavanaghs into the Callaghan house, if you can call it that, it’s really a mini castle. It’s dark so I can’t be sure, but I’m guessing there are acres of land around this enormous house. The driveway is long enough that I can’t see the street from where I stand. I’m so far outside my depth with these people, Kid included. I don’t come from money. I’ve made a good deal of it working my ass off, but I don’t come from it. I come from a neighborhood where women and children are victims of hideous violent crime. I keep my head down and follow. It’s no time to think about this shit. I need to get to Kid.

  “Dylan, follow me to the kitchen,” Dr. Callaghan says softly, although I can tell it’s an order. I comply willingly.

  “I just wanted to get a look at you for myself,” he says as he starts poking around searching for damage I suppose. He pushes and prods my face and neck while I stand with my eyes closed willing this exam to go quicker. “Take your shirt off for me.” I pull off my hoodie and thermal all at once. He starts moving his hands and fingers down my chest then rib by rib. He gets below my ribs and I wince a bit when he pokes around at the black and
purple bruising. “Tender?”

  “Yeah, a bit,” I lie. It fucking kills.

  “Aidan told me he was concerned about your spleen and your liver. I have to agree with him. I can’t do a full examination here in the kitchen. I’d need to get you to the office to have a look under ultrasound to be sure, but I’m guessing you’ve got a hematoma within your spleen and possibly your liver as well. These aren’t life threatening but you need to take it easy. No physical contact in your midsection for a while,” he advises. I’m barely listening. I don’t care what’s wrong with me, after listening to Kav on the plane I’m worried what’s happening to Kid as I sit in this fancy kitchen.

  “Thanks for lookin’ me over. I’m good,” I say as I yank my thermal and hoodie back over my head. Just as I do, I hear heels clicking across the tile floor.

  “What in God’s name happened to you, Dylan?” shrieks Maggie O’Sullivan. She comes barreling up to me knocking Dr. Callaghan out of the way. “Who did this to you? You tell me right now!”

  “Mags, he’s fine. Where’s Sully?” Dr. Callaghan asks referring to Sully Sr., but it reminds me that Kid calls O’Sullivan that. What if I never hear her voice playfully bantering with her boys or her cooing their endearing nicknames again?

  “He’s on his way here now with a mobile command unit,” Maggie replies eyeing me over. “I know Brian’s handy work when I see it, Dylan Kellerman. I’ll be havin’ words with him.” With that she stomps out of the kitchen. Maggie O’Sullivan is going to kick her son’s ass. I might want to watch that. Kid would love to see it. I lift my chin to Dr. Callaghan and make my way back toward the noise in the living room.

  Shannon

  The door opens and the man enters. His eyes are dark with anger and something else I can’t place. His shirt is off and his chest and abs are ripped all the way down to the man V. His face is nothing to write home about, but his body is in good shape. I suppose torturing people is a good workout.

  “Kitten,” he sneers, “you lied to me.” I know. “Now I have to punish you for the lie and get the truth.”

  “I didn’t lie,” I lie.

  “You’re right.” He grins a devil grin. “The password was good.” WHAT?! “But the key’s not in your jewelry box.”

  “It was in my jewelry box,” I lie but try to feign innocence.

  “It’s not anymore.”

  “What if someone moved it or took it because I’m missing?” I’m pulling at strings here.

  “My guy assures me that hasn’t happened.” Guy? Who the fuck does he have on the inside of my house? What if they’re doing shit to the boys too? I feel vomit coming again…swallow it back. He comes to the headboard and unties one of my wrists from the bed but still has my wrist tied to the rope. I can’t see what he’s doing but my arm is being hoisted in the air. It’s secured again and he does the same to my other arm. My body is now pulled in a seated position twisted at the waist because my legs are still attached to the foot rail. He moves to my feet, unties them and brings them over the edge of the bed in front of me. He unbuttons my jeans and rips them and my boy shorts down my legs hard. I don’t kick or provoke him. This is already going to be bad.

  I can see now my ropes are on pulleys and hooks on the ceiling. Once my bottom half is naked he uses the ropes that are secured on the ceiling to stand me up. I stand as the rope pulls me forward to the center of the room and my arms move out from my shoulders and up above my head. My legs are barely able to keep their balance as I wobble. Once satisfied with my arm position he secures the ropes to a hook on the wall and again on the ground (I think the floor is concrete). He takes rope and ties my ankles individually and spreads my legs shoulder width apart, securing the ropes to other hooks on the floor. I’m now half naked and spread eagle vertically. He hasn’t looked in my eyes this entire time. I would have thought he would want to watch my reaction but nothing.

  He stands in front of me fisting his hands while looking at the ground. “It’s time for your punishment, Kitten.” The demon is back in his voice and his eyes, as he trails them up my body to meet my gaze. He reaches behind his back and pulls out a large serrated hunting knife. Bile is travelling up my throat as he slowly stalks toward me. I keep my eyes glued to the blade of the knife as he steps in front of me.

  “Don’t move,” he commands in a low growl. I become a statue. He reaches for the hem of my pale green V-neck sweater and begins slicing up the front slowly and firmly. My breathing is metered as I watch the blade pass between my breasts ending at the neckline. He moves to each wrist performing the same slicing move toward my shoulders. Once my sweater is cut off my body he runs the flat of the knife across my bust. I watch the blade intently.

  “Don’t move,” he commands again, panting harder than I had noticed. He grabs my bra between my breasts and slices it clean in half. Making quick work of the straps with the blade, he divests me of the last of my clothing. I’m now completely naked, spread eagle, and bound. There is no positive, no angle I can work.

  He reaches for the buckle of his belt and undoes it slowly watching me every step of the way. He’s going to rape me now. I’m trying to prepare for it. He said not to fight so I am doing everything I can to relax…easier thought than done. He walks around me and stands near my side outside of my field of vision. I can’t see him, but I can hear his heavy breathing. I hear the sound of his belt being pulled through the loops slowly ending with a jingle of the buckle once it’s free. Then all goes silent. I wait for him to make a move toward my body or unzip his pants, but it’s silent for a long while.

  I feel it before I hear it.

  Pain is bursting through my skin like fire. My whole body tenses and lurches forward against my binds tearing the flesh where they hold me. This time I hear the whoosh of air before the belt cracks against my ass. The pain is indescribable. He’s hitting me as hard as he can and I’m certain my skin is broken. He’s hitting me so quickly that I can’t recover between strokes. I’m screaming out in pain I’m sure of it, but I don’t hear anything. All I hear is whoosh, crack. Something wet is sliding down my legs…blood. I have no idea how long this goes on, but my legs start to give out so he cracks my calves and thighs. The pain ravages every inch of my body. I can feel the searing tear of my skin, each slice the belt makes. Eventually it overwhelms me and I pass out.

  I wake to my arms being wrenched higher above my head until my feet (untied now) can barely touch the ground. My head hangs to my chest and the back of my body shrieks in pain. He grabs my chin and rips my face up to him. I look hazily into his eyes. I see the demon twinkling in his dark pools of death.

  “Tell me where the key is,” he growls.

  “I. Don’t. Know.” I pant between each word. He drops my chin and exits the room slamming the door, leaving my broken body in the blackness. I’m asleep again quickly, but immediately awoken by the pain of my wrists supporting my limp weight. I try to find a comfortable way to hang but there is none. This is no longer my punishment…this is my torture. As time ticks by I try to focus on my family, Kel and Taylor again. I try to figure out who the men that have me are. I think about my father, where this key could actually be. I had guessed the password without thinking but it makes sense now. Snuffleupagus was my favorite. I’m racking my brain, but I’m exhausted and passing out more and more. The ripping flesh on my wrists doesn’t bother me as much anymore or I don’t have the strength to care.

  The door opens and the demon comes in wearing a light blue dress shirt rolled up at the sleeves and slate colored slacks. I thought the demon looked evil before, this is beyond evil. He’s like death personified, lifeless and haunting. A new blackness awaits me.

  Kellerman

  I enter the living room and it’s a mêlée of over-communication. Everyone is talking and moving. I can’t process anything other than these people are panicked. I’m not panicked…I don’t know what I am. Lost, I’m lost. I take a seat in the fanciest red and gold patterned chair I’ve ever seen, careful not to put t
oo much of my body weight on it for fear it will crumble beneath me. I look at the faces of people I know well and people I know very little and my heart breaks for all of them. They’ve lost their daughter or sister. The pain on all their faces is tangible.

  “Dylan,” I hear my name called by a female voice. I look up to see Mary Callaghan offering me a bottle of water.

  “Thank you,” I say taking the bottle from her. She takes the chair next to me, fitting it perfectly. She doesn’t say anything as she studies the crowd as I was before she came over.

  “Too much,” she whispers. I look at her and see her blue eyes glistening with tears. “I’m tellin’ you God, this is too much.” She’s pleading for reprieve for her family. I agree God, if you exist, this is too fucking much. Probably not the way to phrase it if I’m talking to God but there you go. I reach over and grab Mary’s hand. She quickly wraps her tiny fingers around mine and grips them with a strength I didn’t think her tiny body possessed. We wait.

  The frantic commotion stops as Sully Sr. enters the house. His face is a mask of conviction. He’s working.

  “Collin, Hugh, you two outside to debrief with Saunders,” he orders in a bark. Hugh and Collin move quickly out the front doors. “The rest of you listen up.” The room stays silent as Sully Sr. commands. “We haven’t found her. We’ve hit every safe house we know the Mancini family operates and a few that are from other groups. She’s not there. I’ve looked through the footage and agree the perp bears the mark of Mancini, but we aren’t findin’ any connection there. We may have to pull in other resources like the FBI to get this done. I’m holdin’ off on that as long as I can because that shit’ll hold us back.

  “At this point we’ve got file after file on any and every known associate of Mancini. We need you all to go through them for us. We’re workin’ with a small task force to keep this quiet. If they think there’s a large-scale hunt goin’ on they’re more likely to cut their losses. That means I don’t have extra bodies here so you guys have to be research right now.” We all nod in agreement but no one utters a word. Going through case files is not what this group wants to do, but we’ll do it if it can find us Kid.