Blackness Takes Over & Blackness Awaits

by Karlsson, Norma Jeanne

  “Nooooooo!” I scream flying into the room to find Kid wrapped around a man like a blanket. She’s drenched in blood. “Aidan!” I scream. He flies in pushing me out of his way. I fall on my ass and stare at her lifeless body. She’s pale and limp. Her eyes are fixed open. I roll to my left and puke. She’s gone.

  “Get the fuck up!” Aidan screams. “Get out to those choppers, get me a spinal board, and tell them to get ready to move to Northwestern!” He goes back to C.P.R. on Kid and I race down the hall noticing my brothers with Kellerman. O’Sullivan is sitting with Cal in the hall, heads cradled in their hands.

  “Help me!” I command. Both jump to their feet and fall in stride next to me. I run out to see Sully Sr. running at us fury on his face. I cut him off before he can waste any time.

  “She’s bad. Aidan needs a spinal board and a lift to Northwestern, now!” I scream over the whir of the helicopters. He wastes no time barking into a radio. Two teams of whatever they are go flying past us with spinal boards, Sully Sr. in step with them. The three of us stand there in silence. I taste salt on my lips and realize tears are streaming down my cheeks. Cal’s face is also tear-streaked. O’Sullivan is a mask of pain. No tears, just devastation.

  Aidan comes tearing out of the house with four guys carrying Kid on a board. I watch as her body goes past. She’s gone. I can feel it. She’s not here anymore. I watch the shell that used to carry my heart float past me and I crumble to the ground is sobs. A medical helicopter lands just as she passes me. The team carrying her followed by Aidan, sprint to it and disappear inside. It takes off in a matter of seconds. She’s going back to Northwestern Memorial Hospital where this all started. She’ll be in the same hospital she was as a little girl fighting for her life. This time she won’t win.

  “These two can go to Centegra Hospital. If they need moved from there the hospital can sort it out,” Sully Sr. yells at EMTs. I look up to see Kellerman and the man Kid was wrapped around being wheeled into waiting ambulances. Finn’s on the ground leaning against the house with a gunshot wound to the shoulder. Kieran and two of his guys are talking to cops or feds (I’m not sure which).

  “How the FUCK did this happen?!” Sully Sr. bellows. I try desperately to get my brain in gear to figure out what I just saw.

  Kellerman in the hall face down inches from Taylor also face down. Kid wrapped around the front of some dude, arms around his neck. None of this makes sense.

  “Taylor’s dead!” Sully Sr. yells over the vortex of noise around us. Good! He fucking did this to her. I wish I could have been the one to pull the trigger.

  Cal drops to the ground next to me as Ryan and Adam come to us and follow Cal’s lead. O’Sullivan stands unmoving watching the chaos around us, while we sit watching the fading lights of the ambulances in silence. Pure…dead…silence.

  Kellerman

  “Dylan,” I hear my name being called. An angel is calling my name. Heaven’s not a bad place.

  “Dylan you’re out of surgery can you open your eyes for me?” she calls a little louder.

  Surgery? Fuck me I’m not dead. KID?! My eyes fly open scanning around the room as I try to sit up.

  “Whoa, whoa big fella take it easy. Lie back for me,” she says softly. I do as she asks because the pain in my leg isn’t going to allow me to go anywhere. She pushes a button raising the back of the bed higher so I can sit up a little.

  “Kid?” I question with a dry harshness from the desert in my throat.

  “I wasn’t aware there were any children waiting for you,” she remarks walking around messing with things around me.

  “Shannon Kelly?” I ask, grabbing her arm so she’ll stop and listen. “She was with me,” I explain hoarsely. Fuck I need a drink.

  “Just you two brought in. No one else,” she responds.

  “Us two?” I clear my throat as I ask. She hands me a pink cup filled with water. I gulp it down quickly handing it back for a refill. She passes me the refilled cup and starts to talk again.

  “Two of you rolled in at the same time. He’s already been sent to another facility. You’re the only one left,” she explains. “I’ll be back in a few. Rest.”

  I lay my head back against the pillow and try to figure out what’s going on. I have the last image of Kid in my head throwing herself in front of Nick Scarso, protecting him. I don’t understand. Why would she give her life for that monster?

  “I see you’re up and at ’em,” a child (Doogie Howser) in scrubs says to me as he approaches. “Surgery went well. Your femoral artery was nicked but we got it closed up just fine. The bullet made a clean exit. In six to eight days you’ll need a follow-up appointment. I’ll send some recommendations home with you at discharge. Until then, relax and heal. You need anything press the red call button and your nurse will see to you.” With that he’s gone. That was a strange interaction with a fifteen-year-old that saved my life (probably not fifteen but close enough).

  Shot in the leg. Nicked femoral artery? That could have been a lot worse. I need to get out of here and find Kid. I hear a clamor outside the recovery room before the doors slam open. The Kavanagh twins barrel toward me wearing scrubs, my nurse charging in behind them.

  “You ready to blow this popsicle stand?” Ryan bellows. “Need to get you to Northwestern.”

  “Let’s go,” I say trying to sit up. It’s a wasted effort.

  “As I already told you, he hasn’t been discharged. He’s not even out of recovery yet,” the nurse rants.

  “Guessin’ he doesn’t give a shit,” Adam replies to the nurse. “Need to get you to Kid,” he says to me his gaze full of seriousness. That’s all it takes. I sit straight up and start unhooking myself from every monitoring device stuck to me. Alarms are sounding off behind me in an un-harmonic symphony. My surgeon comes in the recovery room at a sprint. His eyes crazed as he watches me.

  “He’s leaving. These two asked him if he was ready to go and now look at him. He’s in no state to be travelling,” the nurse explains trying to push me back and reattach stuff to me. I just keep pulling.

  “Doctor Kelso?” Ryan interjects.

  “Yes,” the surgeon responds staring at me in horror. He’s too young to have dealt with crazy like this. It’ll be a good learning experience for him.

  “Doctor Kelso. Mr. Kellerman would like to release himself from medical care at this facility. We understand this will be against medical advice and he is willing to sign this AMA form and leave as soon as possible. There’s a private ambulance waiting for us outside.” Ryan’s one hell of an attorney. Adam slides a form in front of me and I sign it without looking.

  “We good?” I ask Dr. Kelso reaching down to rip out my IV. I pause, waiting for his answer.

  “Everything is in order,” Dr. Kelso says quietly as he reads the form I just signed.

  “Don’t!” the nurse screams and smashes her hand over mine before I can divest myself of my IV. “Let me take it out for you.” I nod and wait. She takes it out quickly and bandages me up. Adam rolls in a wheelchair and he and Ryan help me down into it.

  “Thanks Doc,” Ryan yells over his shoulder as he sprints with the wheelchair down the corridor.

  Once we’re outside I see they weren’t lying about a private ambulance. Two workers climb out, transfer me to a bed, and wheel me into the back. Once I’m in, Ryan and Adam climb aboard and slam the doors. The ambulance worker sitting behind my head pounds on the wall two times and the ambulance lurches forward.

  “I’m going to start an IV and do a check on your vitals Mr. Kellerman,” the ambulance worker, whose name tag identifies him as Chuck, informs me. I don’t care what he does as long as I keep moving toward Kid.

  “She’s alive?” I ask whichever will answer.

  “For now. It’s not good Kellerman. Pop told us to get your ass there fast,” Ryan says, his voice scared. She’s alive. Okay, I can work with that. I let out a huge sigh and let the pain medication take me to dream about Kid…alive.

  Kellerm
an

  December 23, 2013

  The funeral is today. One week has passed since we found the farm. One week since my life stopped. Cassie keeps calling me. I let it roll to voicemail every time. My mailbox has been full for five days now. I haven’t checked one message. The voice I want to hear won’t be there.

  I’ve talked to every law enforcement officer under the sun in the last week. The FBI has been around the most. I’m not surprised. We stepped into a shit storm no one knew was swirling. Not that any of us have been given any details; only that this is an ongoing investigation and we’ll get more information soon. I don’t care. I’ve been told I’m not being charged for shooting Taylor. I acted in self-defense (defense of Kid) based on Illinois law. Also, I’m not the one that killed Taylor, Nick Scarso is. We’ve been given no information on him. Actually, when we we’ve asked we’ve kindly been told to shut the fuck up about him. I’m still lost on that whole night. I can’t put the pieces together to make that scenario make sense, so I’ve stopped trying for now.

  “You gonna go to the funeral?” Kav asks. His face is gaunt with dark circles under his eyes. His broad body has lost muscle. He’s not eating or working out, just slowly withering away. He’s no different from me.

  “Can’t do it,” I respond quietly.

  “I get that,” Kav says as he flops his body in the chair across from mine.

  “You goin’?” I ask.

  “Nah, can’t do it either,” Kav says shaking his head as he stares at his lap. “I’m gonna run down and grab a drink. You want somethin’?”

  “Water.”

  “Cal and O’Sullivan just got done eatin’. I’ll be back in a few,” he says as he climbs out of the chair. I give him a chin lift in response.

  I sit in silence like I have been for the last week. I’m comfortable here. No sound. No thought. Just numb. Then it happens.

  She squeezes my hand, just a flick of her fingers. I squeeze back hard, mindful not to break her hand.

  “Kid,” I call softly, moving to her face. “Kiddo, can you hear me? Please, if you can squeeze my fingers again.” She does. Again just a flick of movement but she does. My hand begins to shake and my brain kicks into gear. “Kiddo, can you open your eyes and look at me?”

  Nothing happens for a long time, no movement, no finger flicks, no eyes open. They told us this could happen. It’s a slow process and we don’t know what kind of damage was done. Kid was shot four times; three in her back causing massive blood loss but luckily no organ damage and the fourth in the back of her head, causing a lot of damage. Scarso cradled her head with both hands including his hand holding his gun. This caused the bullet to slow and change trajectory. The bullet stopped in Kid’s skull. Unfortunately, from the impact Kid’s brain began to swell and she was put in a medically induced coma for four days. They brought her out of the coma two days ago but she still hasn’t regained consciousness, a common occurrence according to Dr. Callaghan.

  “Please wake up, Kiddo,” I plead. “Please.”

  Her stunning green eyes flutter open and land right on mine which are now streaming tears (very masculine tears). I reach over her and press the nurse call button never leaving Kid’s gaze. She looks scared and I don’t know what the fuck I’m supposed to do.

  “You’re okay, Kiddo. I just called your nurse,” I explain. Her nurse hurries in the room. “She’s awake.”

  “I see that,” the nurse coos.

  Kid’s eyes stay planted on mine as the nurse moves around doing God knows what. I just hold those emerald jewels with my eyes, trying to reassure her silently.

  “Doctor Callaghan is on his way,” the nurse informs us and continues to check monitors and Kid’s vitals. Cal breaches the doorway and his eyes fall to Kid.

  “She’s awake,” I inform him. He stands still for a moment before taking off down the hall.

  “Hope you’re ready for visitors,” I say smiling at Kid. The corner of her mouth turns up slightly.

  “You boys have to let her rest. She’s awake now, but that doesn’t mean she’s back to a hundred percent. This will be a long road,” the nurse chides me. I know that. I also don’t give a shit. She’s awake. I hear their feet pounding the floor before they enter the room.

  They’re at her bedside opposite me in a flash. Kav leans over and nuzzles his face into her neck like a child to a mother. She weakly runs her hand around him rubbing his hair and face, comforting him. She never lets go of my hand. Eventually, Kav stands back up and wipes at his eyes. Those are happy tears he’s wiping away. O’Sullivan’s next wrapping his arms under hers and around her back smashing his face into her chest. His shoulders are shaking and I hear a sob break free from his chest. I think the rest of us have all cried and sobbed and God knows what else while we waited, not O’Sullivan…his time is now.

  Kid lets go of my hand and runs both of hers up his shoulders and squeezes him with everything that she has. Once his quaking stops he stands up and kisses her forehead. He walks to his chair (we all have our spots in her room) at the foot of the bed and plops down next to Kav. Cal just stands there staring at her and her at him. It’s like they’re talking but none of us can hear it. He pulls his chair over to her bedside and holds her hand rubbing her knuckles with his other hand. Her breath hitches at this and she searches for my hand with her free one. Kav and O’Sullivan pull their chairs to the bed too, Kav next to me and O’Sullivan next to Cal. They both put their hands on her legs looking at her waiting. That’s when her tears start to fall.

  There’s no sound or shudder from her, just tears streaming down her face as she looks at each one of us…holding her as best we can. The four of us offer her silent strength as tears slide down her face. She holds my gaze one more time and falls back to sleep.

  The four of us sit in anticipatory silence. We all want to wake her back up, but none of us is willing to disturb her. Dr. Callaghan walking in the room brings us all out of our daze.

  “Well this is a familiar scene,” he sighs, “that I never wanted to walk in on again.” I don’t know what he’s talking about. I look at him puzzled. He hasn’t seen us like this with her. He clears his throat, “The day after she was attacked when she was younger,” he explains to me, “I came to see her and found her in my son’s bed each of these guys holding some part of her.” That’s right. Kieran told me the same story. This is how they comforted her after Liam. I feel blessed and sick all at the same time: Sick that she would ever in the past or now need this and blessed that I’m one of the people comforting her.

  “Just like that day though boys,” he chides, “I need to see my patient.” They all start to peel away from her slowly moving their chairs. I stay; meeting eyes with him letting him know I’m not moving. He nods at me and starts trying to wake Kid softly.

  “Kid? Can you open your eyes for me sweetheart?” He rubs her arm up and down a little and her eyes flutter open. She looks into his eyes and an emotion flashes across them, she looks self-conscious. “It’s all right sweetheart. You’re okay. I’ve got you,” he soothes her like a father to a young child not a doctor to a patient. She holds the tears at bay and smiles as best she can at him. He looks her over carefully but quickly before sitting on the edge of her bed brushing a piece of her hair back.

  “Kid,” he starts softly, “you were shot four times, three shots in your back and once in your head. The shot to your head did not penetrate your brain but the force of the bullet cracked your skull and caused your brain to swell. We’ve had you in a medically induced coma to allow your brain to recover from the swelling. Your wrists had deep lacerations, and you had many lacerations covering the back of your body. Those are all healing nicely.”

  “Thank you,” she pushes out grimacing in pain her usually cool silky voice harsh and raspy. The first words she’s said and she’s thanking someone. She’s some kind of amazing.

  “I love you, Kid.” He leans over and kisses her forehead just as Aidan runs in the room, his sneakers squeaking as he sk
ids to a stop. His scrubs are bloody and his brow is covered in sweat. I’m guessing he ran here from surgery. He’s panting and looking at Kid with intensity.

  “She’s alright, Aidan,” Cal calls to his little brother. Aidan walks over to the bedside and leans his tall ass over and kisses her forehead. She reaches up cupping his cheek and closes her eyes. She’s exhausted from being awake and told how fucked up she’s been. She falls asleep before Aidan pulls back. Aidan and Dr. Callaghan leave the room a few minutes later and the boys resume their chairs around her bed. I lay my head on the bed next to our clasped hands and sleep with her for the first time in a week. She’s back and I’ll never let her go again.

  Kellerman

  News of Kid waking up doesn’t take long to make the rounds. Her family has been on a rotation of visiting while she’s been here. Now that she’s awake everyone is here. No one is waking her up or bothering her. They all just want to be near her for when she comes to on her own again.

  I don’t know what kind of room Dr. Callaghan has Kid in but it’s not a regular hospital room, it’s huge and can fit all of us easily once the guys roll our beds out of the room. Even with all of these people here it’s pretty much silent in the room, all of us waiting for her to wake up again. I never move from my perch at her side clinging to her hand. Even when Mr. Kavanagh and Sully Sr. try to convince me to take a walk with them, I can’t leave her. I haven’t left this room once since I’ve been here. Not knowing if or when she’d wake up I couldn’t risk not being by her side so I’ve sat in this chair for a week. The worst fucking week of my life.

  There’s a waiting room of sorts directly across from Kid’s room. Her family is regularly going back and forth between the rooms, waiting for her to wake up again. Mr. Kavanagh comes in and sits on the other side of her bed taking a turn holding her hand, staring at her face. He looks better than he did while Kid was missing, but just. His salt and pepper hair seems to be a little more salt than pepper in the last ten days and there maybe be a few more frown lines creasing his face. But now, sitting watching his daughter his face is warm and soft.