CONTROL: A Dark Bad Boy Baby Romance (Blackened Souls MC)

by Naomi West

  Katrin. He had to get back to her. He only had an hour to get her out of the desert and somewhere safe before he had to make a decision, once and for all, about what he was going to do.

  He watched the van pull out of the drive. Watched Diaz and another guy — Moreno — go back into the house.

  Shit, this was hopeless.

  He could have taken two guys on his own, if he’d been armed. But he wasn’t, and between the two of them, Diaz and Moreno had enough firepower for a small army. But if Pistol didn’t at least try to stop them from ransacking the house completely, then they might find the Blackened Souls’ secret weapons cache — and Pistol needed that cache if he was going to try to launch a one-man assault on Smith’s entire empire.

  Right. Because I stand a chance of succeeding there.

  A thought came to him, one he’d had many times before.

  Why not just take Katrin and go? Ride away, far away from Rialto? Most of the Blackened Souls were dead, and those who weren’t would be soon. Did it make him a shitty person if he chose to protect his wife before his brothers?

  Kong’s voice came to him then:“You’ve got potential, but you’re reckless. Learn some patience, some humility. It’ll serve you well.”

  Yeah? Well a fat fuckin’ lot of good patience has done for me these past few weeks. Maybe if I’d been more reckless that first night in the desert, we wouldn’t be in this mess. Maybe if I’d fuckin’ pulled the trigger the second that skinny white dude got out of his BMW, the Blackened Souls wouldn’t be enslaved by a madman. And what about you, Kong? You wanna talk about reckless? You haven’t thought about protecting your men, my brothers. You’ve thought only about money.

  The anger boiled up in him — age old. Katrin was right, he was mired in the past. But only because the past had been such a raving bitch to him.

  So now it’s time for me to think about something that’s important to me. Something outside of the club.

  He straightened.

  I’m going back to Katrin. And I’m gonna take her somewhere safe. Somewhere she’ll never have to be afraid again.

  I’m done with this bullshit.

  I survived, didn’t I? That’s always been my specialty—surviving. Not playing the hero. Not saving the say.

  Just fucking surviving.

  With one last look at the van retreating down the road, he took off through the backyard and onto the side street, heading for the church where his bike was parked.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Katrin stood at the base of the hill. She didn’t feel like climbing. The heat was making her dizzy and she’s already thrown up the handful of trail mix she’d eaten for breakfast.

  Apparently, morning sickness didn’t waste any time making your life hell, once you got pregnant.

  Still, she wanted to do something useful. Wanted to try to climb a hill and get a cell signal.

  Who would we call? Pistol had asked last night.

  While it was true they didn’t have many options in Rialto — no one they could fully trust with the story about her father — there was still Maddy. Maddy, whom Katrin had put off contacting even though she should have gone to her right away, back when this mess started. No, it wasn’t like Maddy could rush down here, pick Katrin up from the top of a hill in the desert, and whisk her away. But if Maddy could start driving south, and if she and Pistol started riding north, maybe they could meet somewhere partway between Ohio and Texas. They could book rooms and transport on Maddy’s card and pay her back later in cash, and Maddy would do whatever she could to help Katrin and Pistol get new lives, new identities.

  And if Pistol tried to insist on staying in Rialto, on staying and trying to fight her father’s empire, she could put her foot down. Tell him she had their escape all planned out.

  It was so fucking confusing. She kept telling herself she was going to be her own person, wasn’t going to docilely obey the instructions of the men in her life. And yet, was it right to give Pistol an ultimatum? What if she was wrong, and escaping with Maddy wasn’t the best solution? What if she got them killed with her insistence on escape rather than resistance? Trusting others rather than relying on themselves. What if all they did was drag Maddy into something horrible and dangerous from which none of them would ever escape.

  She started to climb. Her skinny jeans were too tight to make this a fun endeavor, and her flats offered zero support as she stepped over rocks and through patches of sand and prickly scrub.

  A few yards up, she pulled out her phone and checked. One bar. Her heart leapt hopefully, in spite of the knowledge that a phone call was unlikely to solve her problems.

  What if she used her phone to call the police instead? She knew Pistol wasn’t okay with that. But was there any chance they’d understand? That they’d do their best to protect Pistol in spite of his involvement with her father, and in spite of his various questionable activities as part of the Blackened Souls? Would she be blamed for her role in all this? For going along with her dad’s plan, for not reporting it sooner? She’d always thought of the police as a source of aid and protection. Now she had no idea who she could trust.

  She climbed around a small boulder, scrabbling a little, then rested for a moment, panting. One hand on her belly.

  She hated feeling helpless. She hated feeling like she had no say in whether she would be protected and how. What did Pistol think he’d accomplish by going into town in search of “help?” What he meant was that he wanted to look for a means of perpetuating the same violent cycle. He wanted to find weapons. He wanted to confront her father, find his missing brothers, play the hero. It was frustrating as hell, and it was exactly that mentality that made her nervous to tell him about the baby.

  Because he’ll never leave that life behind, will he? He’ll never stop putting himself in danger, never stop prioritizing adventure over domestic life. And I want adventure too, but I also want my child to grow up safe. I’d rather have my baby grow up with no father at all than a father who might not come home one night because he’s been killed in a gang fight.

  She climbed some more, breathing hard. This was taking more out of her than she’d expected. She paused to throw up again on the rocks. The sun was beating down hard on her. She took out her phone, took a deep breath, and dialed Maddy.

  The call was dropped immediately, and a No Service message appeared.

  Shit.

  She pocketed her phone and started to climb again. She was almost to the top of the hill.

  She stepped onto a rocky ledge. Wobbled for a second, then started to take another step. Part of the ledge gave out from under her, and she let out a startled cry. She scrambled as pebbles showered down the side of the hill. She reached for any handhold she could find, but there was nothing. As she started to fall, a ray of sun caught her side of the hill, nearly blinding her, and she thought, for just a second, that she heard her mother’s voice, somewhere far away. Out of reach.

  Chapter Thirty

  When Pistol arrived back at the desert cave, Katrin was nowhere to be found. The blanket was still spread out on the cave floor, and there was a half empty pack of trail mix next to the saddlebags, but no sign of Katrin. His stomach plummeted.

  Jesus, tell me she didn’t do anything stupid.

  Or, more to the point: Tell me Smith didn’t get to her before I did.

  He left the cave and searched the surrounding area. The bike was still there. Katrin’s jacket was slung over the seat. His gaze landed on a small hill nearby, a light-colored shape huddled on the side of it, nestled amid some rocks.

  He raced for the hill, heart thudding. “Katrin!” he shouted. “Katrin!”

  He climbed the hill, calling her name until his throat was raw, ignoring the agony that ripped through his shoulder as he attempted to find holds on the rocky embankment. He picked his way around stones and shrubs, and finally he saw her — lying on her back, one hand flung up over her head, her dark hair matted and fluttering in the warm breeze. Blood stained he
r jeans — a small patch of it around her crotch, spreading down her left thigh. The fear that took him then was unlike anything he’d ever felt.

  “Katrin,” he croaked, scrambling over to her. “Katrin, are you…?”

  She was breathing. Thank fuck for that, she was breathing. Her head shifted slightly to the side, and she murmured something.

  “You’re alive.” His voice shook with emotion. “Can you answer me, darlin’? Please?”

  She murmured again, but didn’t say anything he could understand. Her lips were cracked and dry from the sun. A canteen of water lay nearby. He looked at the blood on her jeans, trying to determine the source. He didn’t want to move her in case she had a back injury, but he needed to figure out what was wrong.

  “Jax?” Her eyes fluttered open.

  “Katrin, it’s okay. It’s gonna be okay; you’re gonna be okay.”

  “Jax, I … I’m so sorry…”

  “Shh. It’s all right. Just relax.” He glanced to the side and saw her phone lying a few feet away.

  She followed his gaze, her eyes narrow, forehead furrowed in pain. “I was trying to get service. I wanted to call for help. I slipped.”

  “You were gonna call…?” he started, confused. “Who were you gonna call, babe?”

  Her mouth worked, and she tried to swallow, eyes fluttering again. “I don’t know. Maybe my … my friend. In Ohio. Thought someone should know where we were. Thought maybe she’d know what to d—” she coughed, sucking in a harsh breath at the end. “I couldn’t just sit here and do nothing.”

  “It’s okay,” he said again.Why, Katrin? I would have come back for you. I wouldn’t have let anything bad happen to you. Couldn’t you just wait?“How badly are you hurt?”

  She raised her head slightly, looking down at her stained jeans.

  “Careful,” Pistol cradled her head, supporting her.

  “I’m…” She looked up at him, eyes wide and desperate. As Pistol watched, those eyes filled with tears. “I have to tell you something.”

  Pistol’s chest clenched. “What is it?”

  “I’m pregnant.”

  A fist slammed Pistol’s gut.

  She continued, “I don’t know if — if the fall—”

  Pistolwent cold with fear. She waspregnant? He searched for some explanation, his brain moving crazily through questions he already knew the answers to. Was the baby definitely his? When had this happened? And how? They’d been safe. Until last night. Sweet Jesus, this couldn’t have been from last night, right? She’d have no way of knowing. No, this was something she’d known for some time. But why hadn’t shetold him? He thought back to the past couple of days — that look in her eyes, like she longed to confide something to him, but he’d pushed her aside.

  But why not last night?

  Why…?

  He couldn’t wrap his mind around this. He might have been a father. Would still be, as long as she hadn’t miscarried. He’d never imagined himself as a father, never thought it was even a possibility. When Leonard Smithhad told him that part of the plan, he’d dismissed it as sheer madness. And yet some part of himhadthought about it, on nights when he couldn’t sleep. Evenings on the porch of the clubhouse, whisky bottle beside him, he’d tried to picture himself with a kid, and the fuzzy image in his mind had eventually taken on some clarity.

  I’m not responsible enough for a kid, he’d thought.I’d be a shit parent, just like my mom.

  And yet some part of him had hoped that wasn’t true.

  Now staring down at Katrin, he knew those were just excuses he’d made because he was scared. Katrin’s news filled him with anxiety, sure. But also withjoy. And a sense that, if she had miscarried, he’d be devastated. He’d do anything to protect this woman, and now that he knew about the baby, he felt ten times that fierce protectiveness.

  I’d move heaven and earth for them, he realized.To make the world safe for them, I’d do absolutely anything.

  The ferocious surge overtook him, and he had to will himself calmer before he stroked Katrin’s hair back from her sweaty brow. “Oh Kat. God, I had no idea…”

  “I wanted to tell you.” She cracked her eyes open, reaching out to touch his face. “But I didn’t know if you’d be happy.”

  He couldn’t speak. Couldn’t breathe. He didn’t know what to say, how to help her understand how much he needed her. How much he loved this kid already.

  “I am happy. So fucking happy.” He smiled at her. “Kat, I … I love you.”

  The truth of the words hit him at the same time as a wave of nerves. Whoever thought he’d be saying those words to a woman? Whoever would have thought he’d mean them so much? But he did. He’d known that first night, and then watching her stay strong through her father’s tyranny, through the impossibility of their situation, he’d slowly realized that denying it wouldn’t make it any less true.

  She smiled back up at him, tears still glistening in her eyes. “I love you too.”

  He let out a half laugh, half sob. “This is so crazy. I don’t even know what to say.” His smile faded. “But the baby … how will we know if…?”

  She glanced down at herself. “It’s not a lot of blood. It looks like a lot, but it’s mostly stopped. I can’t be sure, but I think it might be fine. I’m not feeling any cramps. That’s a good sign.”

  “We need to get you out of here. To a hospital.”

  She gazed at him steadily, her eyes taking on a focus that hadn’t been there before. “That’s not safe as long as my father’s still out there, Jax.” She sat up, leaning back against a rock. I don’t want to be trapped somewhere he could find me.”

  “But why would he think to look for you in a hospital?”

  She eyed him. “You’ve said it yourself — we don’t know how far his reach extends. He might have plants in hospitals. Might be friendly with corrupt agents in the police force, in the government. I thought for a while, as I was climbing up here — I thought maybe we could go to the police. Go to some outside agency. But now I get it. It’s just us, isn’t it? No allies except your club. And they’re…” She clearly didn’t want to say it.

  He nodded. “It’s true. We’re not safe anywhere while he’s still out there.”

  She nodded. “There’s nothing a hospital could do for me anyway. If I miscarried, I miscarried.” The slight quaver in her voice was the only indication of how scared she was. “If I didn’t, I didn’t.” She let out a long breath, swiping at her eyes. “What’d you find out in town?”

  He sat back on his heels. “Your father has taken the remaining Souls prisoner.” She flinched. He continued, “I saw his men lead them from the clubhouse into an unmarked van. They were going to your father’s house.”

  She nodded grimly. “We don’t have much time then.”

  “I overheard one of them say the ‘party’ starts in an hour.”

  “Then let’s be the first guests.” She started to rise.

  “Katrin, listen.” He took her hand. “My first responsibility is to you and the baby. My brothers … they all knew there were risks when they signed on to be part of the Blackened Souls. They’d understand.”

  She frowned slightly. “Understand what?”

  He gazed into her eyes. “Say the word, and I’ll take you away from here. We’ll ride off together, go somewhere far, far from all of this. And I promise you, I will make sure we’re safe. To make sure he can never find us.”

  Her frown deepened. Those hazel eyes held both compassion and determination. “No, Jax.”

  He raised his brows. “What?”

  “I thought at first we should leave too. That’s why I climbed that hill, to help us plan an escape. Like I said, I thought about the police. I thought about my friend from Ohio. But what he’s done, Pistol. Taking your brothers hostage. Terrorizing us. He won’t stop! Even if we disappear, he won’t stop. And I’m tired of running. I’m tired of living in fear of my father. He has your brothers, and he means to kill them. You need to do whatever
you have to in order to free them.”

  He hesitated. Part of him thought she was right. But the baby … the baby was more important than anything else.

  “Katrin, it’s not that I want to abandon my brothers to die. But there is nothing—do you hear me—nothing, more important to me than this kid.”

  “Then make our lives safe for our baby,” she said firmly. “Your brothers matter to me, Jax.” Her gaze softened. “They gave meyou. They made you all the best things you are.” Her voice softened. “I want to help them. And I want to stop my father once and for all. Even if it means…” She clearly couldn’t finish.