Always on My Mind (The Dawson Brothers, #1)

by Jessica Mills

  I couldn’t believe what my dad was saying. He was going to respect my dreams? I turned to Sarah who was smiling big.

  Ted turned to face us, not quite taking the news as I’d expected. “Wait, so David won’t be around to do his part of the work? What the hell?” He spun around on Dad and pointed a finger in my direction. “He gets to go live some dream and we’re stuck here pulling his weight?”

  Dad narrowed his eyes. “I thought running this place was your dream, perhaps I’m wrong? Or is it that you just want David around so you can be his boss for a change? Don’t think we don’t know that’s what your biggest issue is.”

  Ted lowered his hand and stormed outside, slamming the screen door behind him.

  Dad waved his hand at the door. “He’ll get over it. And before you ask who is going to pick up your part of the work, that’s his problem. You need to get your ass to Nashville with this pretty lady and pursue your future.”

  I was speechless. I sat there frozen not sure what to think or say.

  “So what do you think?” Sarah asked. She nudged me and I couldn’t do anything but nod. I was so excited, but at the same time I was nervous and feeling terribly guilty.

  “It’s just a bad time.” I shook my head. “Maybe after Mama’s out of the hospital, then I can go.” I nodded and looked to Sarah who I expected to be overjoyed, but her expression had dimmed.

  “That might be too late,” Dad said, getting to his feet. “You should go as soon as possible, for Sarah’s sake.”

  As Dad walked outside, I searched her eyes. “What did he mean for your sake?”

  “It’s nothing. You take all the time you need.” She pulled her lips in tight as if she was holding more than words back.

  “What’s going on and did you say something to my dad?” Her eyes widened. “You did.” I wasn’t sure whether to be happy or not. I was more concerned with what she wasn’t telling me.

  “He came down after our spat and we talked.” She lifted a shoulder as if to play it off.

  “So what are you not telling me?” I pulled my hand away from hers.

  “It’s nothing. It’s just that Rowena, my boss, is really being adamant about getting you there as soon as possible.” There wasn’t a trace of smile left in her. Her lips turned down in a frown and she kept her eyes averted from mine.

  I turned her by the chin to look at me. “How soon?”

  “I have another week.”

  My brows furrowed. “Another week or what? You know I won’t be ready in another week.”

  “And that’s perfectly fine.” She clutched my arm and smiled but I saw the twitch in her lip that betrayed her. She was about to cry.

  “Dammit, tell me what’s going on.” I had a feeling she was about to do something very stupid.

  “If I can’t have you back to Nashville in another week then she’s threatened to fire me.” The words spilled from her lips in a rush and sent my blood to boiling.

  “Why didn’t you tell me that?”

  “I didn’t want you to make this decision based on me, I wanted you to make it for yourself. With your mother being in the hospital, I hoped I could buy more time until you were ready.”

  “You should have told me.” I hardened my stare. I couldn’t believe she was taking that big of a risk for me. I knew she hoped I’d go back with her, but I didn’t know that she had a deadline. “Get this Rowena person on the phone and I’ll talk to her. I’ll tell her what’s going on and that we’re going to be a week longer. By then Mama will be home, and I’ll feel better about leaving.”

  “I’m not sure it’s going to be that easy.” Her bare shoulders slumped and she seemed so small my protective nature had me angered again.

  “So what the hell am I supposed to do if you lose your job? Go to Nashville without you? Did you even think that I may not want to without your representation?” I wasn’t sure who I was angrier at, her or that damned Rowena.

  “Your talent is too good for you to worry about me. What Rowena and Elder Tree can do for your career is what’s important. You can have an amazing life.” She spoke those words with such conviction that I believed she meant them with all of her heart.

  “That’s bullshit.” My tone was steeped with anger and she backed away. Before I lost it, I got up and stormed out, heading to the barn to fetch my horse.

  I had to get the hell away and clear my mind. What the hell had gotten into her? I’d tried to show her a thousand times how much I cared. I’d brought her into my home, into my life and introduced her to my family. She hadn’t even cared enough to tell me the truth about things, like she didn’t think she mattered at all. Maybe she didn’t want to? She’d gone behind my back talking to Dad and even had him convinced to give his blessing. Maybe that was her plan all along, to find a way to convince me before I was ready. To get Rowena what she wanted so she could move on to the next talent and use her persuasion. No one would just give up their job, there had to be more to it. My mind was too crowded with thoughts to think straight.

  I saddled my horse and just as Sarah ran up behind me, I took off leaving her in the dust. I couldn’t deal with her, not while I was angry. The more I stewed on things the angrier I got and the more I regretted letting her in so close. No telling how many others she’d been sent after. Maybe I wasn’t the first.

  I stopped at the pond and gazed down to the still water. It had always calmed my nerves and was one of my most favorite places. It was always quiet enough to be alone with my thoughts and I got down from my horse and walked out on the pier for a better look. I hadn’t ever cared about someone as much as Sarah. Not even Ella. I’d almost married her and she’d betrayed me with my own brother.

  That whole ordeal was Ted trying to best me and now he’d won the farm. All of that on top of not knowing why Sarah didn’t respect me enough to tell me about Rowena’s threats. What else was she keeping from me? I knew my thoughts were crazy. Sarah was willing to give up her job to give me more time. That was my real issue. How could she think for one minute that I’d want a life, much less a career, without her?

  Chapter 26

  Sarah

  David hadn’t even listened. He took off on his horse like his ass was on fire and left me standing in his damned barn. I stormed back to the house, past his father and Luke, and went straight to his room. I should have known this would blow up in my face and I should have just went with my gut and told him that I had a deadline. I wasn’t trying to force a decision on him by including his father, but I was afraid David would see it that way. I shouldn’t have come back. I shouldn’t have gotten too close. I’d opened my heart and let him bring his entire family inside.

  I stared out the window into the distance. The land was so vast that I couldn’t see David anywhere. I looked down to the garden and cursed under my breath. I had never been so competent and purposeful as I did in those rows. I enjoyed it.

  I was at home there among his family, even though I wasn’t sure how some of them felt about me. Well, Ted didn’t seem to like too many people, but Mason and Luke were adorable. I had always wanted brothers and those two would be perfect. Even his mother had apologized and when she asked me to take care of them, I’d taken that to heart. She trusted me with them.

  I had wanted to help, but all I’d managed to do was stick my nose where it didn’t belong and keep David out of the loop. I turned away from the window and grabbed my bag off the floor. I walked around the room, gathering my things and made sure I had my makeup bag packed. This time when I left, I wouldn’t be coming back and I didn’t want any excuse to.

  I just wished he’d come back and let me know what was on his mind. I needed a chance to explain, certain that if I could, things would be all right between us. My phone sounded and I went to the dresser where I had it charging. I lit the screen and frowned when I read my latest messages. Jenn sent me a smile and asked how it was going, but Rowena sent two with a much darker tone: Hope you’re enjoying your little vacation. Don’t screw this
up. I mouthed the words as I read them and cringed. The latest one was much shorter: Tick-tock.

  I dropped to the bed and drew my knees up to my chin. What I wanted was to scream. Why did she have to be such a pushy bitch? What did it matter when he signed as long as he did? It was her silly posturing that made it all that much worse. With my own problems weighing me down, how did I expect to be a help for David. I’d have my things ready and wait for him to come back in. I’d lay everything out for him, minus my feelings. I couldn’t share those. It wouldn’t be fair to use that against him. If he didn’t want to leave his family I’d respect that, and I’d go back to Rowena, take my lumps, and beg her to give him a chance when he was ready. The most important thing was him getting picked up.

  The creaking door brought my head around and I found Mason peeking in. “Sorry, it wasn’t closed all the way.” He stepped back and turned to leave.

  “Did you need something?” I wiped my cheeks, getting rid of the tears that had spilled there.

  He stopped and leaned against the door jamb. “No, I was just checking on you.”

  “Did David send you up here?” I wasn’t sure how I’d feel if he had.

  “No, but I saw what happened and thought you might need to talk.” Mason glanced behind him into the hall and raised his brow as I recognized the sound of footsteps behind him. He stepped aside and David walked into the room.

  “Thanks for the offer,” I said, as Mason winked and walked away.

  David’s expression was unreadable and he towered over me where I sat. I dropped my knees and looked away from him and was surprised when he knelt in front of me.

  “Look at me,” he said, taking my chin between his callused fingers. I turned my head and met his eyes. “Where are you going?”

  “Back home, I guess, if you’re going to run off on that horse every time there is a problem.”

  “I didn’t want you to see me mad.” He rested his hands on my knees, still staring deep, his eyes the deepest brown.

  “What’s there to be mad about? And if you’re so pissed off at me, why are you here?”

  “Is your boss really giving you a hard time?” He narrowed his eyes and my pulse raced.

  “You think I’m lying about that?” I pushed past him, going for my phone, turning it on so he could see the messages that Rowena had sent. “Does this look like I’m lying?”

  He glared down at the screen, his brows pinching tight as he read the words. “I’m sorry. But why the hell didn’t you tell me?”

  “I didn’t want to put more on you.”

  David shook his head and I flinched as his hands clutched my shoulders. “What makes you think I’d want any of it without you?”

  I searched his eyes, which softened. “I just want you to succeed.”

  “If you aren’t succeeding with me, I don’t want it. You’re what matters, Sarah, and I’m not going to let you lose your job over this.” He went to his closet and pulled out a duffle bag, emptying the contents on the floor.

  “It’s not fair though, you say I’m what matters, but your mother matters too. Your family matters. Living your life in your own time, matters. That’s why I didn’t want to force you into anything. It’s bad enough I let Rowena ruin my life.” I walked to his closet where he handed me two shirts on hangers and then a pair of shiny boots, then he went to his dresser and crammed some clothes from the drawers into the bag.

  “You think I brought you here and welcomed you into my life, into my family, and I’m going to let a few weeks get in the way? You heard my dad give me his blessing. There’s nothing stopping me. Mama’s in good hands and my brothers can take care of themselves.” He stopped and met my eyes. “Your car or my truck?”

  “We should probably take my car. It gets better gas mileage.” No sooner than the answer left my lips he scooped up his stuff and headed toward the door.

  He glanced over his shoulder. “Gather your stuff, I’ll be right back.” Then he disappeared into the hall.

  The home phone rang and though I had the urge to answer it, I left it and did another check of the room and noticed he’d forgotten his guitar. He was in such a rush I didn’t think he’d remembered. I noticed a case across the room and went to get it. I laid it across the bed and opened it. Tucked inside was a picture of him and who I assumed was his grandfather he’d spoken about. He favored both his Daddy, and his Granddaddy. I placed it in the strings of his guitar and put the guitar in its case.

  Mason stuck his head in the door and frowned. “Where’s David?” He glanced toward the bathroom.

  “Oh, he’s loading the car. I think we’re going to Nashville.”

  Mason stepped in and folded his arms. “Really, when?”

  I raked my fingers through my hair and released a long breath. “Apparently, right now.”

  “I guess everything is okay, then.” He shrugged and flashed his pearly whites. “I just wanted to tell him that Aunt Patty called, Mama’s doing real good and should be able to come home a few days early.”

  “That’s wonderful news. David and I should go see her before we leave.” David walked in before I could finish my thought.

  “What? Go to the hospital?” He walked past Mason and took my bag and slung it over his shoulder before grabbing his guitar. “Sure, we can stop by.”

  Mason told him the news. “Mama’s doing so good they said she’ll get to come home a few days early.”

  David let out a long breath and smiled. “That’s great news. We’re heading out to Nashville. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, but let me know when she’s coming home, I want to try and be here.”

  “Will do, brother.” Mason left and I stopped David before he could take the rest of our bags to the car.

  “You do know that we don’t have to go today, right? I mean, I have a few more days. We’re not in that big of a rush.”

  He seemed to hesitate and then took my hand. “Maybe we could stay around until tomorrow and go see Mama. While we’re in Perryville, I could take you out for dinner and we can talk about our plans. I also need time to call Kinsey and tell him I’m out again indefinitely.”

  “There’s no rush, we’ll stop by and you can tell him and I’m sure your mom would rather you tell her the good news. She’s going to be so proud of you.”

  “I hope so.” He pulled me into his arms and kissed me, then nuzzled against my neck. I ran my hands through his hair and reciprocated and then our lips met again. Our kiss deepened and suddenly we both were breathless, our hands roaming each other’s bodies in response and then David walked me back toward the bed. My legs hit the edge and I sat down pulling him closer as I laid back. Our lips crushed together as our bodies pressed close, his hips grinding into mine.

  My hand roamed down to feel his hard length and a soft growl sounded against my lips as I rubbed him there. He was so ready for me, and the thought of that bloomed with heat that intensified as his hand slipped down to palm my mound. He sat up and bunched my sundress up over my hips and his fingers slipped inside the elastic of my silky panties. He searched out my folds and spread them, rubbing gently, kissing and touching me with the same rhythm and just like his instrument, he knew how to strum me. I bucked my hips toward his palm, and his fingers pushed deeper. He was on his way down, kissing my breasts, tugging at the straps of my dress, when a knock sounded at the door.

  In one quick motion, David jumped to his feet and pulled my dress down. Panting, I straightened my hair as his dad opened the door.

  “Excuse me,” he said, turning pink with a blush as I pulled my dress strap up over my shoulder. “I wanted to tell you, I’m heading back to the hospital. I’m feeling better and I know Patty needs a break.”

  “We’re actually getting ready to go up there.”

  “I can see that.” He chuckled, his laugh sounding so much like David’s. “Guess I’ll see you soon, then?” He gave a stern nod, shook his head and left.

  “Well that was awkward,” said David as his father’s foots
teps grew faint in the distance.

  Warmth burned my cheeks, but I couldn’t help giggling. “Let’s go, before we both get in trouble.”

  *

  By the time we made it to the hospital it was already late in the afternoon. David’s mother was sitting up and seemed to be in much better spirits. His Aunt Patty had already left, and his father was making himself at home in the room’s only reclining chair. He had the TV on and was listening intently to the news. He barely pulled his attention away when we entered, but his mother gave us enough greeting for the both of them.

  “Come give me a kiss, Davey.” She held out her arms, the IV tubes hanging and swaying as she waved him over. David obliged and she showered him with kisses. When he stood, his face was red with a blush and he was grinning ear to ear.

  I approached and gave her a hug and she grabbed my hand giving it a squeeze. “It’s good to see you’re feeling better.”

  “Much better, and I hope to be home soon. I can’t get used to people waiting on me.” She held her hand up to her mouth and lowered her voice as if what she had to say was for my ears only. “It’s driving me insane.” She turned back to her son. “I hear you’re going on a trip.”

  “Yes, ma’am, we’re leaving tomorrow morning. I’m taking her out to dinner. I guess it’s our first official date.” I loved the sound of that and the thought of us dating warmed the deepest depths of my soul.

  His mother’s face lit up. “That sounds wonderful.”

  David shoved his hands in his pockets. “Yeah, but I’m afraid it’s why we can’t stay long. I made reservations.” My head whipped around, taken by the news.

  His mother smiled. “I hear you’ve been cooking some fine meals for my boys. I appreciate that. They’d have my kitchen in a right mess.” She slapped her leg and giggled, holding her stomach. I couldn’t imagine how it must feel having surgery. I’d never had to have any. But his mother was strong and though David cringed at her pain, he had to have known that too.