Coming Home: Baxter Springs Book 1

by Avery Ford

  No matter how hard he tried, Ben couldn’t quite picture himself living in New York. But then, he had never been terribly imaginative.

  It would probably kill you to stop being practical for more than five minutes.

  Again, maybe Eric had a point.

  At least Chase would be there to help him navigate the city and the newer, faster-paced way of life. That was a big plus. A huge plus.

  It was really the main reason Ben was willing to consider moving at all, if he was being completely honest with himself.

  Ben walked out of the kitchen and back through the dark, quiet house toward his bedroom. He wouldn’t miss being lonely all the time, that was for sure.

  And that moment was when he made the decision to at least explore the idea a little further. He had a friend in real estate. He could at least get an appraisal on the house and the land.

  It wouldn’t be anything binding. He wouldn’t even need to tell Eric or Chase yet. He would just be exploring options. If it seemed like a good deal, then he could discuss it with his brother and his… whatever he and Chase were supposed to be these days.

  For now, though, he’d keep it to himself. For now, he’d start by making the call and getting the appraisal.

  Soon.

  Maybe tomorrow.

  Chapter 15

  Chase

  “Oh, for crying out loud!” Neil Carpenter sat up in his recliner and gestured at the TV, then looked over to the couch where Chase was stretched out. “Did you see that play? That was pathetic. I don’t know why I’m even wasting my time watching this game if that’s all the effort they’re going to put into it. Christ, these guys make millions of dollars, and for what? For what?”

  Chase could only shake his head and do his best to stifle a grin. He’d heard the exact same rant so many times as a kid that he and his brother had it memorized. Just hearing it again after so many years made Chase appreciate being home.

  “It’s crazy, Dad,” Chase said, finally. “I know. But we keep watching.”

  “Yeah, well…” Neil huffed out a breath and gave another half-hearted gesture toward the TV. “That’s because that’s just what you do when football is on.”

  It wasn’t actually what Chase wanted to be doing, but this was the closest thing to quality time he could spend with his dad, since all the man did was work, it seemed.

  Some of his friends had slowed down as they approached sixty, but not Neil. Not a chance. He sometimes said he didn’t even plan on retiring at all—a statement that never failed to irritate Chase’s mom.

  Other people might have hobbies outside of work, but work was the man’s hobby. Work and watching football. So, Chase fit in where he could.

  And tried not to spend every minute of that time thinking about calling Ben. Or being next to Ben.

  Touching Ben…

  “Did you hear what I said, Chase?”

  Chase blinked.

  Shit.

  He’d been so wrapped up in his thoughts that he hadn’t heard anything. There was a pretty good chance it had been something football-related, though.

  “About the, uh, game?” Chase offered, tentatively.

  His father scowled. “No. Not about the game.”

  Shit. Shit. Shit.

  He paused to give Chase a hard look, then continued. “I said that I hope once you and your brother are living together, you can try to find some good women to settle down with. Your mother would like some grandchildren someday, you know.”

  Oh, Jesus. Yeah, this definitely wasn’t anything about the game. And it definitely wasn’t a conversation Chase was looking to have with his dad at that moment. Or with anyone else, at any other moment.

  “Yeah, I’ve heard her say that before about grandchildren,” was the best Chase could do without actually addressing the larger point his dad was making about settling down.

  Maybe Jake would meet a nice woman and settle down to have kids and keep their parents happy. Chase wasn’t sure that life was necessarily in the cards for him.

  One thing he was pretty sure of, though, was that whenever he thought about settling down lately, it wasn’t with a woman—good, bad, or otherwise.

  It was only with Ben.

  And while Chase didn’t really know Ben’s thoughts on starting a family, he had a hunch it might be a while before there were any kids running around calling Neil and Patricia grandparents.

  “And?” His dad opened his hands, apparently waiting for Chase to say something else. “You don’t care what your mother wants? Is that what you’re telling me?”

  “That’s not what I said,” Chase tried to keep his tone even, something that was becoming more and more difficult each time his father opened his mouth. “But settling down and having kids isn’t really on my radar right now, Dad.”

  “What is on your radar, then? Girls? Partying?”

  Ben.

  “Moving,” Chase said, simply. “Getting my life together.”

  With Ben.

  The thought calmed him a little, even though Chase knew he was just fooling himself. When he left town in a few days, there was no way Ben was going to be with him. It was the truth, but it still sucked, and it still hurt.

  Which was why Chase tried not to think about it. Until pointless conversations like this cropped up and forced him to.

  “You just think about what I said, okay?” Neil said, but he wasn’t really in lecture mode anymore. His attention had mostly turned back toward the TV. “You’re not getting any younger, Chase. It’s time for you to settle down.”

  But the simple fact was that he didn’t want to settle down with just anyone. He didn’t want to settle at all.

  He wanted Ben.

  Only Ben.

  Chapter 16

  Ben

  “That’s awkward,” Ben said, turning off the engine to his truck and opening the door as he looked over at Chase. “You shouldn’t really be that surprised, though. Your parents have always said they wanted you and your brother to come back here and start a family.”

  “Yeah, but it just hit me harder than normal this time, I guess. I could hardly get to sleep last night thinking about it.”

  Chase looked miserable as he was telling the story, and Ben wished that he could walk around to the passenger side of the truck and pull Chase close, maybe at least take his mind off things with a few kisses. But they had just pulled up to the Summer Festival in the middle of town, and making out with Chase right here would be sure to raise some eyebrows.

  “Well, I’m glad you decided to come out here with me,” Ben said as they both got out of the truck and walked toward the crowd of people around the assorted vendor booths. “I would’ve understood if you didn’t feel like doing this, though. It was just sort of a last minute thing.”

  A last-ditch effort to spend a little more time with Chase before he had to leave town was what it actually was, but Ben didn’t want to sound too desperate. Plus, they had both enjoyed the Summer Festival as teenagers, so it hadn’t been a totally random idea to invite Chase out for the afternoon.

  Ben just hated that Chase had to hide who he was, especially at home with his own family. Ben had been out of the closet for so long that he’d really forgotten what it felt like to pretend to be someone he wasn’t.

  Judging from the uncertainty rolling off Chase in waves as he scanned the crowd, Ben guessed that the feeling was all too common for his friend.

  “I’m glad you invited me,” Chase said, smiling at Ben even though he was clearly preoccupied with his thoughts. “Do you think old man Peterson still sells those watermelons here?”

  “He’s probably got a stall somewhere out here,” Ben said, grinning. At least Chase had remembered the good times they used to have there, even in the midst of all the things he was going through. “It really wouldn’t be a Summer Festival without gorging on watermelon until we’re sick to our stomachs.”

  “Now you’re speaking my language,” Chase laughed, finally starting to loosen up
a little. He sighed and clapped Ben on the shoulder. “I’m glad you called today. You always know how to cheer me up.”

  Chase was right. Ben did know how to cheer him up. Ben knew him better than anyone, in fact. He just wished he could practice some of the more fun ways of cheering Chase up.

  This wasn’t the time or the place for that, though, no matter how easy it was to get distracted by the way Chase’s shirt was stretched tight across his chest, or how the shorts he was wearing clung to his perfect ass like they were painted on.

  “If I didn’t have to be back at the ranch later this afternoon, I’d say we could make a day of it and go for dinner after this, but…” Ben shrugged apologetically. “I figured a little midday break wouldn’t hurt either of us.”

  “That’s for sure.” Chase reached out like he was about to take Ben’s hand, but quickly redirected, jamming his hands into his pockets and looking away. “Lots of people out here today,” he said, still not making eye contact with Ben.

  Ben nodded and swallowed hard. He couldn’t speak, in case his tone betrayed his hurt feelings.

  Which was dumb, really. The rational part of Ben’s brain knew that he shouldn’t be upset at the lack of physical contact. It wasn’t like they were actually boyfriends, after all. Hell, Ben was the one who had insisted that they didn’t get the situation confused in the first place. And of course he wanted to respect the fact that Chase wasn’t ready to come out.

  For all Ben knew, Chase might not even consider himself to be gay or bi. Just because they had messed around together didn’t mean they had to label it any particular way.

  They were just good friends, right?

  Isn’t that what Ben had wanted? Wasn’t that the promise they’d made to each other?

  Those were all valid points that the rational part of Ben’s brain was making. But he couldn’t deny that the lack of affection hurt his heart more than a little.

  Ben was going to have to get used to it, though. Chase was leaving in a few days, and unless the appraiser came back with some incredibly good news, Ben wouldn’t be going with him.

  Those were just the facts. It was as simple as that.

  Staying friends with Chase through this whole fake dating thing and staying in Baxter Springs were the two most important aspects of Ben’s life. That’s what he kept telling himself, anyway.

  So why did this feel so shitty?

  Ben barely had time to get back to the ranch before he was scheduled to meet with his friend, Carlos, the real estate agent who had agreed to come out and take a look at the property.

  It had taken a little bit of scheduling magic to find a time that Carlos could fit him in while also making sure that Eric had already gone for the day and which wouldn’t be conflicting with any plans Ben had with Chase.

  The afternoon of the Summer Festival had ended up being the perfect excuse. Ben and Chase had seen Eric downtown, drinking beer and playing horseshoes just before they left. It was a pretty safe bet to assume Eric would be there well into the evening.

  And since Ben wouldn’t be seeing Chase again until the following evening, the coast was clear. Now he just had to wait for Carlos to show up and he’d finally be able to put this spur-of-the-moment, nagging idea out of his head.

  A part of him was already starting to regret even asking Carlos over in the first place. Ben didn’t really know how much land around Baxter Springs was going for these days, but it couldn’t be that much. And he didn’t feel good about the fact that he was keeping the whole thing a secret from Eric and Chase. They were the people he trusted most in the world, and they probably would’ve understood if Ben had explained the whole thing.

  But he hadn’t felt like explaining, and he didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up—not even his own. What would most likely happen was that Carlos would give some conservatively low estimate and Ben would politely turn it down while thanking the man for his time.

  No harm, no foul. Nobody had to know.

  Just as Ben made peace with that thought, he saw Carlos’ little white sedan flying down the dirt road in a cloud of dust.

  Ben shook his head and grinned. It was a wonder that little car hadn’t already fallen to bits, the way Carlos drove it.

  “Ben, it’s good to see you,” Carlos shouted as he hopped out of the car and practically ran across the driveway to where Ben was standing. “Sorry I’m late, my friend.”

  “No problem,” Ben smiled warmly and shook the man’s hand. “I just got back from the Summer Festival a couple of minutes ago. It’s good to see you, too, though. Would you like to come in for something to drink?”

  “I’d love to, but I’m on a pretty tight schedule today,” Carlos sighed and looked wistfully toward the house. “I should probably just take care of business here and be on my way.”

  “Fair enough,” Ben said. “If you wanna get in the truck, I’d be happy to drive you around to the outbuildings and around the perimeter of the land. Then maybe we can finish up with a look inside the house.”

  Carlos nodded. “You’re really serious about selling the whole thing, eh? The land, the house, everything?”

  Hearing Carlos say it like that really hit home for Ben. Up until this moment, it had been a sort of abstract idea to him—something he could rationalize, but not something that might actually require a real-life decision.

  “I’d like an estimate for everything, yes,” Ben said. He still wasn’t quite ready to say he was going to sell the place, but that was close enough for now.

  “Okay,” Carlos opened the truck door and climbed inside. “Let’s get started, then.”

  Ben showed Carlos around every part of the property—the barn, the stables, the animal pens and the pastures. It felt strange to be giving someone a tour of the land, knowing what the purpose behind it was. Decades of blood, sweat, and tears went into that ranch. Generations of his family had lived, worked, and played there.

  And now Ben was preparing to sell it to the highest bidder.

  It didn’t feel right, but that part was to be expected, wasn’t it? It would be naïve for him to think he could go through the whole process without at least a little guilt.

  Once they made it back to the house, though, the guilty feelings really started to pile up.

  “This place is in remarkable shape, especially considering how old it is,” Carlos said, standing in the living room and taking in every detail. “You should be proud of everything you and your family have done here, Ben.”

  “I am proud,” Ben said, quietly. “But… things change. Life changes. Maybe it’s time for me to change, too.”

  Ben was mostly just ready for their little sight-seeing tour through his life to be over. It had been a sort of fun idea for a while, and Carlos had made him feel as comfortable as possible, given the circumstances. But it still made Ben feel a little uneasy—like he was betraying his family and going behind people’s backs.

  Which, technically, he kind of was.

  “Well,” Carlos said, clasping his hands together with a polite smile. “I think I’ve seen enough to put together an accurate estimate of what you could expect if you put the whole place on the market as-is. Give me a couple of days, and I’ll get back to you, okay?”

  “Sure,” Ben nodded, walking his friend to the door. “I appreciate you taking the time to do all of this, Carlos. Don’t rush, though, if you have other clients to take care of. I’m not in a particular hurry or anything.”

  “You know you’re my number one client right now,” Carlos said, waving goodbye. “I’ll be in touch.”

  Was it actually a good thing to be the number one client when he wasn’t even sure he wanted to sell?

  Carlos probably said that to all of his clients, though. Ben certainly hoped his friend wasn’t giving up on actual leads to figure up an estimate on the ranch. The more he thought about it, the more he was convinced that he wouldn’t get enough money for the place to even be able to justify having a conversation about it with his brother. />
  Then, even if the estimate came back at an acceptable number, they’d still have to find a willing buyer.

  And it wasn’t like people were lining up to buy a ranch on the outskirts of a small town in Kansas. All the people Ben knew seemed to be looking for an excuse to get out.

  Ben was just caught in the middle, unsure whether to go or stay, to do what he thought he should, or to do what he thought he wanted.

  It would be an easier decision if either thing felt like the right choice.

  Anyway, he had something more urgent on his mind. Chase would be leaving in a few days, and Ben didn’t have much time left with him. It was all fun and games to think about selling the ranch and moving away to New York, but the reality was that it was still just a dream.

  One that probably wouldn’t come true, if Ben’s past luck with dreams was any indication.

  So, all he could do was take things one day at a time and enjoy the moments he had left with Chase, because he might not get another opportunity after the week was over.

  It was another thought that was more than a little overwhelming, another reality that Ben was going to do his best not to think about.

  Not today, anyway.

  Chapter 17

  Chase

  Chase parked his truck in front of Ben’s house and looked at the clock before he turned off the engine. Ben had asked him to show up at six o’clock, but it was five forty-five and Chase couldn’t make himself wait any longer.

  He was pretty sure Ben wouldn’t mind the fact that he was showing up early, though. Partly because Ben had always been a stickler for being on time—something Chase had never been too concerned with before joining the Marines—and partly because he hoped that Ben would be just as impatient as Chase was to spend a little more time together.

  So why was Chase still sitting in his truck instead of running to Ben’s front door?