For Love's Sake

by Cynthia Rutledge

  “Lots of things,” he hedged. “They’ll probably sound like nothing to you.”

  She switched the phone to her other hand and wiped her sweaty right palm against her shorts. “Try me.”

  “C’mon, Rach.” Tom’s tone turned persuasive. “We’ve got a good thing going. I don’t need some two-bit shrink telling me how to behave. I promise, I’ll treat you like the princess you are for the rest of my life. You just wait and see.”

  Empty promises, her mother’s voice whispered. Every time her mother had threatened to leave, her father had promised to change. He never had.

  “You said you’d see a counselor.” Rachel didn’t even try to keep the disappointment from her voice.

  “Well, you’ve promised me a lot of things you haven’t followed through on, either,” he said.

  “Like what?”

  “Like when you said you’d go to a baseball game in Chicago with me,” he said. “We’ve never done that.”

  “We never found a time that worked for both of us,” Rachel said, her irritation surging at this blatant attempt to change the subject. “It’s hardly the same thing.”

  “Maybe not to you,” he said.

  Was it possible for a heart to break in two? At the moment it seemed highly likely.

  Rachel drew a ragged breath and straightened her shoulders. “I can’t do this anymore, Tom. It’s no good.”

  “Rach, don’t do this. I love you. I—”

  Rachel could hear the panic in his tone and knew the promises were ready to start. But this time she wasn’t interested in promises.

  His actions had already said it all.

  The next morning Rachel woke to the sound of rain beating against her window. When she opened her blinds and saw only grey dreariness, it somehow seemed fitting. Despite knowing she’d had no choice but to break off her relationship with Tom, the thought of being without him made her heart ache.

  Somehow Rachel found a way to make it through that day and the ones that followed. Instead of leaving right when Jay’s father, Henry, came in from the fields, Rachel waited until supper was finished and the dishes done before heading home.

  Every day she put on a happy face and did her best to hide her heartache. By Friday she felt confident she’d been successful.

  But though Jay wasn’t always the most observant guy, he’d noticed the change in Rachel’s mood. And by the end of the week he realized that not only hadn’t she spoken of her boyfriend all week, she’d changed the subject whenever Jay brought Tom up.

  While his father and Lena retired to the living room to read the paper, Jay stayed in the kitchen with Rachel. He watched her wipe down the kitchen countertops and decided the time had come to find out what was going on. “You and Tom have big plans for the weekend?”

  Though her back was to him, Jay could see her shoulders tense. “I don’t really have any plans except coming here on Saturday and going to church on Sunday.”

  Since his father didn’t believe in working on the Sabbath, Sunday had been designated as Rachel’s day off. When his mother had come up with the arrangement before she’d left for Texas, Jay had wondered how he was going to stand having some stranger around six out of seven days. Now, he wondered how he was going to stand not seeing Rachel on Sunday.

  “Do you and Tom attend church together?” Jay asked, keeping his tone conversational.

  “We both go to First Christian,” she said.

  “That’s not what I asked.” Jay forced a teasing note into the words.

  Rachel turned and met his gaze. “Are you on a fishing expedition?”

  Jay thought about playing dumb, but he’d never particularly liked beating around the bush or been particularly good at it. “Are you and Tom having problems?”

  She rested her back against the counter, her expression inscrutable. “Why do you ask?”

  Jay shrugged. “When you came back on Tuesday, you seemed down. I guessed you and Tom had probably just had a fight. But it’s Friday and you don’t seem any happier.”

  “I’m perfectly hap-py.” Her voice broke on the last word and tears welled up in her big blue eyes, slipping silently down her cheek.

  Jay shifted in the kitchen chair and cursed his curiosity. He’d never meant to make her cry.

  Rachel hurriedly reached into her pocket and pulled out a tissue, her cheeks bright pink. “I’m sorry.”

  “You don’t have to explain,” Jay reassured her, hoping to forestall any further tears. “What goes on between you and Tom is your business, not mine.”

  “We broke up.” Rachel sniffed and dabbed at her eyes with the tissue.

  Jay pulled his brows together. “I’m sure you’ll make up.”

  “Not this time.” Heavy resignation hung in her voice and her lips drooped down like a sad clown.

  Jay wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and soothe her hurt, but he settled for a sympathetic expression. “What happened?”

  She shifted her gaze to the window behind him. “Some old problems resurfaced. I told him it was over.”

  “You broke up with him?” Jay couldn’t hide his surprise. As sad as Rachel looked, he’d assumed Tom had dumped her.

  Rachel nodded.

  “I’m sure he’ll make amends,” Jay said. “The Tom Tidball I remember isn’t the type of guy to just walk away and give up.”

  Rachel sighed. “Oh, he’s not giving up. My house has so many flowers, it looks like a funeral parlor and since I won’t answer his calls on my cell, he fills up my recorder at home.”

  Jay met her gaze. “Sounds like the guy is in love and doesn’t want to lose you.”

  “I don’t know about the love part—” Rachel glanced away “—but he’s already lost me.”

  Despite not knowing the circumstances, Jay couldn’t help but feel sorry for Tom. “Can’t you give him another chance?”

  She lifted her chin. “He’s had his chance.”

  Jay stared at Rachel for a long moment. Though she seemed firm in her resolve, the pain in her eyes told him this hadn’t been an easy decision. “Is there anything I can do?”

  “There’s nothing anyone can do,” Rachel said.

  It was going to be awkward for her, Jay realized. Breakups in a small town were never easy. When he and Kim had broken up at the end of his senior year, it had been mutual. But seeing her had still been hard.

  “It’s too bad you don’t live in a big city,” Jay said, only half-joking. “You’d never have to see him again.”

  “That would be a blessing.” A smile lifted her lips before vanishing as quickly as it had appeared. “I dread church on Sunday. I know he’ll be there, wanting to sit with me, begging me to reconsider.”

  “Don’t go.” Jay thought the suggestion made good sense, but the look on her face told him she didn’t agree.

  “Tom can be so charming, so persuasive,” Rachel said, almost to herself. “And he has so many wonderful qualities.”

  “Have you talked to the minister about the situation?”

  From what she’d told him, Rachel was very involved at First Christian and really liked the pastor.

  “Why would I do that?” She met his gaze head on. “I’m not changing my mind.”

  “I’m not saying you should,” Jay hastened to clarify. “I just thought it might make you feel better about your decision if you talked about it with someone you trusted.”

  “I’m not sure anything will make me feel better,” Rachel said, “but I’ll consider your suggestion.”

  “Is the word out?”

  “Out?”

  “Do people in town know you two broke up?”

  “I told my friends on Tuesday,” Rachel said. “I’m sure the news has gotten around.”

  “You told them on Tuesday but you didn’t mention it to me until today.” Jay paused. “Why?”

  Rachel shrugged. “Just don’t feel like talking about it.”

  He didn’t believe it for a minute, but he let the remark go unchal
lenged. “So, what’s next?”

  Rachel sighed. “My next hurdle is Sunday.”

  “Go to church with your mom,” he suggested. The last he knew her mother still lived in Millville. Jay remembered her father as a stern man who’d once banned him from the town’s only grocery store. He’d died in a car accident during Rachel’s senior year in high school. Her mother had been a quiet woman who seemed friendly enough, but never said much. “I assume she still lives in town?”

  “My mother is spending the month in Kansas City helping my sister with her second baby,” Rachel said.

  “Maybe one of your friends—”

  “I’ll be fine, really,” she said, then paused. “Unless…”

  Jay raised a brow. “Unless?”

  “Unless you’d consider going with me?”

  Chapter Four

  Jay started to laugh. He knew it was bad form, but he couldn’t stop himself. The only reason he was in Millville was because the farm was so isolated he didn’t need to see anyone. Showing up at church would be the equivalent of signing on to be a sideshow attraction at the county fair. “No way.”

  Her face reddened as if she’d been slapped and she spun on her heel, turning her attention to the already clean counter. “Forget I asked. I just thought if you wanted to get out of the hou—” She stopped. “It was a stupid idea.”

  Her shoulders were stiff and Jay realized with a start that he’d offended her.

  Using the table as leverage, Jay pushed himself up to a standing position and hobbled across the room to where Rachel stood scrubbing a nonexistent spot from the Formica. He rested his good hand on her shoulder and felt her muscles tense beneath his touch.

  “It wasn’t a stupid idea,” he said, his fingers massaging her shoulder, “but church is the last place I want to be right now.”

  “I shouldn’t have asked.” She turned and met his gaze, her eyes hooded. “Tom isn’t your concern—he’s mine.”

  Something in the way she spoke sent red flags popping up in his head. “If he hassles you at all, I want to know.”

  This time it was Rachel’s turn to laugh. “What are you going to do? Hit him with your cast?”

  Irritation surged through Jay.

  “I mean it, Rachel.” Jay could still see the look of fear in Karen’s eyes when he’d pulled Tom off of her. “You let me know.”

  “I will,” Rachel promised. Before he knew what was happening, she leaned forward and planted a kiss on his cheek. “Thanks.”

  The light, flowery scent of her perfume filled his nostrils and stirred his senses. Jay reacted instinctively, pulling her close.

  But before his lips could cover hers, she turned her head and his kiss brushed her jaw.

  “This isn’t right,” she whispered against his chest.

  “You’re not with Tom anymore,” Jay reminded her.

  “I’m not ready for another relationship.” She pulled away and lifted her large blue eyes to his. “I’m sorry.”

  Relationship? Jay barely hid his surprise. Since when did a kiss mean anything more than, well, you were attracted to a person and wanted to show it?

  “I understand,” he said finally, a knot forming in his stomach as the realization hit.

  Though doubt flickered in her eyes, Jay wished there was some way he could assure her that he really did understand. Lindsay had made it perfectly clear that he no longer held any appeal when she’d hightailed it out of his hospital room. The only thing that surprised him was that he’d considered for even a moment that Rachel might be different.

  Monday morning Rachel had barely made it into the foyer of the Nordstrom’s two-story farmhouse when Jay hobbled into view.

  “How was yesterday?” His gaze searched hers. “Did Tom cause any problems?”

  His obvious concern warmed her heart. When she’d left on Saturday she’d been certain he wouldn’t give her or her problems a second thought. But she didn’t want to even think about yesterday until she’d had some caffeine.

  “Why don’t we go into the kitchen and talk? I’ll make us some coffee.” She tilted her head and sniffed the air. Something smelled awfully good. “Unless you already have some brewing?”

  “There’s just some leftover stuff Dad made at five-thirty,” Jay said. “It’s black as mud.”

  Rachel smiled at the disgust in his voice and slipped past him on her way to the kitchen. As she brushed against him she realized that the delicious scent she’d smelled a few moments ago hadn’t been flavored coffee, but was Jay’s cologne.

  The spicy fragrance stirred her senses and her heart picked up speed. Not only did Jay smell good, he looked good.

  The blue chambray shirt he wore accentuated his eyes and his blond hair was tousled as if he’d just got out of bed.

  But as appealing as she found him, Rachel had decided last night that her best course of action would be to keep Jay at arm’s length. So she drew a steadying breath, ordered her heart to return to a normal rhythm and forced her attention to the matter at hand. “I’ll take that comment to mean you’d like me to make some fresh?”

  “You bet.” He flashed a boyish smile. “Especially if I could get some bacon and eggs to go with it.”

  Rachel laughed. “Bacon and eggs it is.”

  Thirty minutes later, Lena was on the porch sipping her tea while Rachel sat at the table watching Jay finish off the last of the bacon.

  “That omelet was fabulous,” Jay said. “And the bacon was perfect.”

  A flush of pleasure traveled through Rachel and she couldn’t help but smile. “I’m glad you liked it.”

  Jay wiped the corners of his mouth with the napkin and leaned back in his chair. “Now, tell me how Sunday went.”

  They’d talked about everything but her and Tom while she’d prepared breakfast. And, even after the food was ready, Jay had kept the conversation light. Only now, after they’d both finished, did he bring up the subject again.

  She supposed she should be flattered that he was interested in her life, but the truth was, discussing personal issues with Jay made her a bit uneasy.

  “You’re Tom’s friend,” Rachel said, trying to be diplomatic. “I’m not sure I should be talking about him to you.”

  “I was his friend, but that was a long time ago.” Jay reached across the table and took her hand. “Now I’m your friend.”

  The touch of his hand sent a shock of electricity up her arm. She pulled her hand away and reined in her emotions. Arm’s length, she reminded herself, taking a quick sip of coffee.

  “Tom showed up at the church,” she said in a remarkably calm tone. “I was already seated when suddenly there he was, next to me in the pew.”

  “Sounds like a soap opera,” Jay said lightly, but she could see the concern in his eyes. “Did you cause a scene?”

  Rachel shot him a reproachful glance. “Do I look like the type of person who’d cause a disturbance in God’s house?”

  Jay appeared to ponder the question for a minute, then grinned. “Yep.”

  Rachel couldn’t help but laugh. “Well, I didn’t. I kept my gaze focused on Pastor Karelli and my thoughts on the sermon.”

  “Somehow,” Jay said, “I don’t believe it was as easy as all that.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  She’d expected him to toss off some one-liner about knowing her so well even though it had only been a week, but instead his gaze turned serious.

  “Because I’ve been there before.”

  “You have?” She couldn’t keep the surprise from her voice.

  “One of my first jobs in California was in this small station just outside of San Francisco,” he said with a faint smile. “Christy was a meteorologist. I used to call her my weather girl.”

  Rachel couldn’t remember his mother ever mentioning a Christy, so either the romance was short-lived or he’d never told his mom about the woman.

  “What happened?”

  “Our relationship was like fireworks, hot while it l
asted but burning out quickly,” he said. “Though we parted amicably, being together in the same studio became extremely awkward. Our co-workers knew we’d been involved and they were always watching us to see if there was any spark left.”

  “That’s exactly what happened yesterday.” The church service had been the longest of Rachel’s life. “But it was worse because, although I don’t want to be with Tom anymore, I still like him.”

  The smell of Tom’s cologne, the feel of his strong arm pressed next to hers, the endearing way he sang off-key had all tugged at her heart.

  “Did you two talk?”

  Rachel shook her head. “Not really. After the service he asked if I’d go out to lunch with him so we could discuss what happened, but I said no.”

  “How did he take your refusal?”

  “He told me he was sure we could work things out, but for that to happen we needed to communicate.” She sighed and shook her head. “He just doesn’t get it. There’s no point in talking. It’s over.”

  “Tom always was doggedly persistent,” Jay said. “You’re probably going to have to be involved with someone else before he’ll back off.”

  “Well, that’s not going to happen,” Rachel said with a wry smile. “I’m steering clear of men for a while. I’m not ready for another relationship.”

  “I’m not talking about a relationship,” Jay said. “I’m talking dating someone just so Tom will back off.”

  “I could never use anyone like that.”

  “It wouldn’t be using if they knew and agreed to the charade.”

  “Well, it’s a moot point anyway, because you know as well as I do that everyone in this town is already hooked up.”

  “Not everyone,” Jay said.

  “You show me one eligible guy under Medicare age,” Rachel said and then added, “who’d be crazy enough to go along with such a scheme and I’ll consider it.”

  “I can name one guy off the top of my head.”

  Rachel decided to call Jay’s bluff. “Okay, name him.”

  Jay smiled. “Me.”

  “You?” Rachel burst out laughing. “Nobody would ever believe that you and I were dating, least of all Tom.”