Chasing Desire

by Jennifer Domenico

  Holy fucking shit. “Are you serious?” I click through her text messages and sure enough, there it is. Identical to the one that Stacey got. “Something crazy is going on.”

  “That’s obvious. Did you text us both to see which one of us was stupid enough to show?”

  “No, listen to me. I wasn’t expecting Stacey and I didn’t tell anyone where I was going, not even Macy. When Stacey showed up and I asked her why she was there, she said I texted her. I did NOT text her and I didn’t text you, either. Someone is fucking with me, Mackenzie.”

  “Do you really expect me to believe that?”

  “Yes, I do. It’s true.”

  “Then why were you kissing her?”

  “I kissed her cheek. I felt like an asshole that she was tricked into coming there. I did not want to see her. I wouldn’t ask you to come because you don’t fucking talk to me and you asked for space.”

  “I’m not sure about this.”

  “Don’t you think if I texted you, I would have been a bit more pleading? All it says is meet me at the park. I need to talk. Don’t you think I would have asked to meet somewhere privately? Do you think that’s how I would have asked you?”

  “Well, no. I thought it was odd, but that’s what made me respond. It was so out of character for you I thought something might be wrong.”

  “Something is wrong. Someone is out to get me and I think I know who it might be.”

  “Who?”

  “Meredith.”

  “That girl who used to work here?”

  “Yes. It’s the only thing that makes sense. She was very angry and humiliated. If you want to check my phone, you can. There are no texts from me.”

  “You could have deleted them.”

  “Yeah, I could’ve, but can you think this through for a minute? I’m fucking miserable. Why would I put myself in a situation with you and Stacey again? Do you think I’m a fucking dumbass?”

  “No.” Mackenzie sits back down. “Wow, this is insane.”

  “I know. She’s out to get me or someone is. I just have to figure out how they’re doing it and how to catch them. In the meantime, I want you to be safe and keep your eyes open.”

  “I will.”

  “I swear to god I’m telling the truth, Mackenzie.”

  “I can tell.”

  “Thank you for believing me.”

  “Sorry I jumped to conclusions.”

  “It’s understandable why you would.” I walk towards her and touch her hair. “It’s good to see you.”

  “You, too,” she says, but quickly stands to leave. “So, um, do you have a date for Saturday?”

  “Not yet. Are you still going with Tony?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’ll break his face if he touches you.”

  “It’ll be okay.”

  “I don’t want to see you with another man.”

  “I know. I’m not excited to see you with another woman.” She runs her fingers through her hair. “Is Stacey okay?”

  “I don’t know. She seems to be. She’s been through a lot because of me.”

  “Because of me.”

  “No, because of me.”

  Mackenzie shakes her head. “I was a mess that morning. Thank god you stopped me from hitting her.”

  “I’m still very sorry all of that happened. I would do anything to turn back the clock and change things.”

  “Me, too.”

  “I miss you.”

  She stares at the floor. “I miss you, too.”

  “Mackenzie,” I walk closer and am really happy when she doesn’t move away. “I want you back so badly it hurts. What can I do?”

  “I don’t know yet.”

  “Just tell me what it is and I’ll do it. We can go away from here. Take a trip and go somewhere we can be alone and be open about our relationship. I will do whatever it takes.”

  “You seem sincere and I’m trying to get there.” She steps towards me and kisses my lips softly. I wrap my arms around her waist and hold her tight. She lays her head against my chest and runs her fingers down my back. “Sorry I barged in here. I need to get back to my desk. I’ve been gone a long time.”

  “Not yet, please. Mac…”

  She looks up and kisses me again. “You can call me Kenzie.” She smiles. “Only you.”

  I smile. “See you later, Kenzie.”

  “Bye.” I watch her walk out and I can’t wipe the grin off my face. I’m gonna get her back. I know it now.

  It takes less than five minutes for Macy to come in the room. “Well?”

  “Did you tell anyone where I was today at lunch?”

  “How could I? I didn’t know.”

  “Has anyone called and asked about me or anything like that?”

  “Of course not. I would tell you. What’s going on?”

  “I think someone is stalking me.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. I didn’t tell anyone where I was going, yet somehow both Stacey and Mackenzie showed up at the park and both of them had texts from me.”

  “How?”

  “That’s what I don’t know yet.”

  “Weird.”

  “Tell me about it.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  “Keep my eyes open.”

  “Be careful.”

  “I will. Just let me know if you see or hear anything off.”

  “For sure. The only thing I’ve heard and I’ve been meaning to tell you about this, is about your work demeanor lately.”

  “What?”

  “People say you are starting to act like Charles- cold, distant, and demanding.”

  “Fuck. Seriously?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Do you think it’s true?”

  “I know you better, but have you been different? Definitely.”

  “I didn’t know.”

  “It’s hard to see when it’s happening to you.”

  “True. Thanks for telling me.”

  I sit down at my desk and reflect on the last few weeks. I guess in some ways I have morphed into my former mentor and boss, but he’s the one thing I don’t want to become. If I want to prevent that from happening, I better get it together sooner rather than later.

  I pull the crumpled clover out of my pocket and set it down on my desk, fingering the leaves. I’ve always believed that I had luck on my side, but I am seriously starting to wonder if that’s true.

  A few hours later, my private line rings and I know exactly who it is.

  “Brayden James,” I answer.

  “It’s me.”

  “I know.”

  “Who are you asking to the wedding?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “I want you to ask someone you would never have sex with. Someone you aren’t attracted to at all.”

  “Um, okay.”

  “You know I would never hook up with Tony, right? Even if you and I weren’t a thing.”

  “Yeah, he’s not even kind of good enough for you.”

  “It would make me feel safe. If you just pick some random girl, I don’t know.”

  “You think if I just get someone to go with me I might have sex with her?”

  “Yeah. I assume you haven’t since we split.”

  “Of course not.”

  “I know it’s hard that you’re not having sex. Maybe, because she doesn’t mean anything to you, it wouldn’t be too hard to give in.”

  “It’s only hard that I’m not with you. I would never do anything to hurt you again.”

  “I know, but…” she sighs. “Can you do this for me?”

  “I would do anything for you. You have to know that by now.”

  “I’m catching on.”

  “I’ll do my best.”

  “I know you will.”

  “Can I see you before the wedding?”

  “Not yet,” she says softly. “We both know as soon as we’re alone together we’ll be in bed.”

  “And you don’t want th
at.”

  “Not right now, but we’re getting there.”

  I take a deep breath. “That’s good to hear. Bye, Kenzie.”

  “Bye, Bray.”

  I sit for a second, wishing I knew who to ask. I decide to call my sister. Maybe she can go. Walking out to my car, I dial her number before switching to blue tooth.

  “What’s up, bro?”

  “I need help.”

  “Hit me.”

  “I need a date for a wedding. Can you come with me?”

  “When is it?”

  “Saturday.”

  “No can do. I have a work function.”

  “Okay. Do you have any friends I could take?”

  “What’s going on? You’ve never asked me to help you find a date.”

  “I have a story to tell you, but I need you to take your big brother’s side on this.”

  “I am on your side, Brayden. Always. What’s up?”

  I fill her in on the whole saga, leading up to the call I got from Mackenzie just a little while ago.

  “Now I don’t know who I could ask that would fit the criteria. That’s why I asked you for a friend.”

  Ariel laughs. “I’m fresh out of girls who I want to see fall for my brother even though he doesn’t like them back right now.”

  “I deserve that.”

  “Sorry. I had to say it. Listen, I understand what Mackenzie is saying. She obviously has feelings for you and it would tear her up if she knew you had sex with someone else. Oh, and speaking of sex, I know Stacey is a virgin.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “She fessed up. So much stuff makes a lot more sense now that I know that. She told me about what happened between the two of you and I get it now. You know, I had no idea you were such a respectable guy.”

  “Neither did I.” I laugh. “I really didn’t have anything in common with her, and then I met Mackenzie and I’m a goner.”

  “It sounds like it. I have never heard you talk like this before.”

  “I never have.”

  “I hope I get to meet the girl who tamed Brayden James.”

  “You already did, more than once.”

  “When?”

  “At lunch when you saw me at the restaurant and in my office.”

  “I knew it!”

  I laugh. “We honestly weren’t together at that point.”

  “Oh, but you wanted to be. I could feel it. My sister sense was dead on.”

  “Yeah, it was.”

  “I’ll tell her that story someday.”

  “Technically, we’re not back together.”

  “I’m sure it’s just a matter of time. If she didn’t care, she wouldn’t have asked you what she did today.”

  “True. Hey, thanks, sis. You’re pretty wise.”

  “Well, I’m a girl. I know how we think.”

  “I’m thankful you’ve never had to deal with a guy like me.”

  “I’d be happy to meet a guy exactly like you. I think you’re fantastic.”

  “You’re pretty awesome, too.”

  “Yeah, we turned out alright in spite of all the shit.”

  “We did. I guess I’ll see if Macy has any friends.”

  “Good idea. Sorry I couldn’t help more.”

  “You helped a lot. Talk to you later.”

  “Bye.”

  I drive home and after taking a quick shower climb in bed to watch television before falling asleep. I’m exhausted, but restless. All I can think about right now is what Mackenzie is doing, what she’s thinking, and if it’s about me. I pick up my phone to text her, hoping she’s responsive.

  Me: Just thinking about you. Thanks for talking with me today.

  It takes her several minutes to respond.

  Mac: I’m thinking about you too.

  Me: That makes me really happy to hear. I want to be the man who deserves you.

  Mac: You are, Bray. I’m just trying to get my shit together for you.

  Me: I miss you.

  Mac: You have to know how much I miss you too.

  Me: I’m catching on.

  Mac: Well played.

  I want to tell her that I love her and the thought panics me for a minute. It’s all I can do not to type the words on the tiny screen I’m staring at. I don’t just want to tell her, I want to tell the whole world. I want to run it as a Super Bowl commercial. I want it tattooed across my chest. I love Mackenzie Reed.

  Me: Night, Kenzie.

  Mac: Good night, Bray.

  I buzz for Macy.

  “I need a date,” I say when she enters the office.

  “Okay.”

  “For your wedding. It can’t be just anybody. It has to be someone who won’t get me in any more trouble with Kenzie.”

  “What criteria do we need to meet?”

  “She should be someone who doesn’t threaten Mac.”

  “How could any woman alive threaten her? She is beautiful.”

  “I know she is, but she’s worried I’ll have sex with some random girl.”

  “I see.” Macy taps her chin. “What about that cute girl who brought you the vegan cookies? What was her name?”

  “Sydney?”

  “Yeah, her. Maybe she’s available.”

  “I think she said she was dating someone.”

  “Don’t know if you don’t ask.”

  “I don’t know if she would meet the approved list. Mac doesn’t know her.”

  “Just make it clear you’re asking as a friend. Make sure she knows up front it’s not romantic.”

  “Okay. It might work. I better ask Mac first.”

  Macy laughs so hard she throws her head back and holds her stomach.

  “What the hell is so funny?”

  “I never thought I’d see the day when you were pussy whipped.”

  A smirk crosses my features. “You and me both, Macy.”

  “Call Mackenzie and see what she says.”

  “I will.”

  “Good luck.”

  “Thanks.” I dial Mackenzie’s cell phone, hoping she answers.

  “Hey,” she says.

  “Hey, back.”

  “I asked my sister but she’s busy, so I was thinking of asking this girl Sydney who works here. I went to high school with her and we’re sort of friends. I think she might be dating someone, but maybe she’d agree to go as friends.”

  “Have you fucked her before?”

  “Where are you?”

  “In the copy room behind my desk.”

  “That sounds hot. I could definitely have fun with you in there.”

  “Focus.”

  “Right, sorry. Anyway, no, I have not fucked her. Nothing romantic between us at all.”

  “Is she pretty?”

  “She’s okay. She’s not you.”

  “Well, she needs to be pretty enough to be with you or people won’t get it. We all know you only go out with hot women.”

  “She’s pretty enough.”

  “Are you attracted to her?”

  “Not even a little bit.”

  “Okay, as long as she knows you are only friends.”

  “I’ll make it clear.”

  “Alright then.”

  “Cool. I’ll let you know what she says. If she says no, I’ll go alone.”

  “You go alone to a wedding?”

  “Yeah, so I can find a hot bridesmaid to bang.”

  “Beg your pardon?”

  “Typical Brayden response BK.”

  “BK?”

  “Before Kenzie.”

  “Cute.”

  “I try to be.”

  “I have to go.”

  “I know.”

  “Thanks for asking me.”

  “You bet. I don’t want anything else to go wrong between us.”

  “I don’t either.”

  “Kenzie?”

  “Yes?”

  “Are we together?”

  She is silent for a minute and all I can hear is her breathing. />
  “I hope we will be again.”

  “We’re not now, though?”

  “I think we’re on a break.”

  “How will I know when we’re together again?”

  “When I’m lying next to you in your bed. Bye, B.”

  “Bye.”

  I hang up and smile. I know it’s just a matter of time now before that last statement is true. Mackenzie will be mine again. I dial Sydney’s extension.

  “Hi, Brayden.”

  “Hey, how’s it going?”

  “Really good. What’s up?”

  “Well, I need a favor from a friend.”

  “Sure.”

  “I have a wedding to go to Saturday night and I could use a date. Would you be up for going with me?”

  “Saturday?”

  “I know you said you were dating someone, but I thought since we’re just friends, maybe he’d be cool with it.”

  “I can let him know. We’re just casual and not necessarily exclusive so I don’t really need to ask him anything.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah, of course. I have to say I’m surprised you don’t have a thousand women lined up to go on a date with you.”

  “I need a platonic date. I don’t want to lead anyone on thinking it’s something else.”

  “Glad I fit the bill.”

  “You do and it should be fun hanging out.”

  “Happy to help.”

  “Always saving the day, just like in high school.”

  She laughs. “Well, I can be good to have around.”

  “Definitely. I’ll put you down on the guest list and order you a vegetarian entrée.”

  “That’s great. What time?”

  “I can pick you up at four. The wedding is at five o’clock in Coronado.”

  “I’ll meet you here. The street in front of my place is under construction and it’s really hard to get in and out of.”

  “Okay, if you’re sure.”

  “It will be easier. Dress code?”

  “Formal.”

  “Oh, cool. I love a reason to dress up.”

  “Great. See you at four on Saturday.”

  “Okay, see you then.”

  Whew. Secured a non-threatening date for the wedding. Now maybe I can relax and have a little fun. As long as Tony doesn’t pull anything with my girl, everything will be fine.

  I pull my tux out of the closet- fresh from the tailor yesterday. I’m in the best mood I’ve been in in forever and I can only assume it’s because I know I’m seeing my Kenzie tonight. I finish my hair, slicking it back in a more formal style instead of the kind of wildness I normally pull off. After spraying myself with cologne, I dress and put my shoes on. Looking at my reflection, I look pretty good. I could still use a tan and some more gym time, but it’ll do. I grab my keys and Macy’s gift and head out to meet Sydney.