Pulling up to the front of the building, I see her standing near the door, wearing a long black gown. She sees me and waves, and then walks in my direction. I get out of the car and open the door for her.
“You look nice, Sydney.”
“Oh, thanks. So do you.” She puts her seatbelt on. “I hope it’s not too windy tonight. My hair is just so.”
“It’s not supposed to be.”
“That’s good.”
I pull out onto the street and get on the freeway that leads to Coronado Island. It’s a beautiful spring evening, warm and pleasant with just a slight breeze. I glance over at Sydney as we drive. She stares out the car window at the passing scenery. I feel like we should be talking about something, but what?
Fortunately, it’s not a long drive to the hotel since traffic is fairly light. I just want to get on with this night. I want to see Mackenzie and I’m actually really happy for Macy and Simon. We pull up to valet and I hand the keys to an attendant while another one opens the door for Sydney. We walk inside and check in then head to the area of the ballroom where the ceremony is. When we enter, all I can do is look for Mackenzie, but I don’t see her yet.
“It’s so pretty,” Sydney says.
I take a moment to look around. Everything is covered in cream and light blue silk. Mini chandeliers hang above the seats and there is a huge archway at the front. It all looks very posh and very Macy. Sydney and I find a place to sit and I stare at the program. Sydney strikes up a conversation with the woman sitting next to us and I’m happy she is occupied.
A few minutes later, Mackenzie and Tony walk in. I know this because I hear several people greet them and her sultry voice saying hello as she moves closer and closer to me. As she passes my seat, her fingers brush briefly against my arm. The tiny gesture sends chills through me. When I actually lay my eyes on her, it’s like all the oxygen just got sucked from the room. The black gown she is wearing is strapless, with an elaborate sequin pattern over the bodice that glides down the side of the dress. Over it, she wears a lace jacket that provides just the right amount of coverage. I can’t tear my eyes off her amazing body and the delicious cleavage that threatens to burst from her dress. I can’t see them, but I know she is wearing sky high heels underneath it and god only knows what amazing lingerie she chose for the evening. Her hair is curled and part of it is pinned up, while the rest of it tumbles down her back. Her makeup is perfect and as soon as she smiles, my heart melts. She is fucking stunning.
“Got a thing for the redhead?” Sydney whispers to me.
“No, why do you say that?”
“You haven’t taken your eyes off of her since she walked in.”
“Well, she is rather striking.”
“That she is. She obviously knows it, too. She seems very stuck up. I’ve seen her in the halls before and she doesn’t even acknowledge anyone.”
“She’s not stuck up. She’s just very focused on her job.”
“Sure you’re not into her?”
“Yeah. If I was, I’d be sitting with her right now.”
“I guess that’s true. Brayden James always gets what he wants.”
I glance over at her. “Yeah, I do.”
Mackenzie and Tony take their seats and I don’t like how close he is to her, but the room is filling up quickly and we all have to make room for more people. I try very hard to maintain my cool and greet everyone as they come in. Mackenzie turns around in her seat to talk to Amanda sitting behind her. Her eyes shift up to meet mine and I’m rewarded with an amazing smile and a mouthed hello. I return the gesture and tear my eyes away before I get called out again.
The lights begin to dim, getting everyone’s attention and classical music begins to play softly. I shift around in my seat to watch the wedding procession start. One by one, couples make their way down the aisle and take their place at the front. Simon walks in with his parents and he looks like the happiest man on Earth. It brings a smile to my face. Finally, the wedding march begins and we all stand to wait for Macy.
When the doors open, she appears, looking like an incredibly beautiful angel wrapped in creamy white. Her hair is elegantly piled high on her head with a diamond tiara in front. The dress is an explosion of silk everywhere, but she looks amazing. And happy. Very happy. She walks slowly to the front, led by her father, with a million dollar smile plastered on her face. When they arrive, the pastor takes her hand and places it in Simon’s.
“Who gives this woman to be wed to this man?” he asks.
“Her mother and I do,” Macy’s father says. He kisses her cheek and shakes Simon’s hand.
The couple turns to face the pastor and the ceremony begins. As the pastor begins his speech, at first, the only thing on my mind is Mackenzie and how I wish I was sitting next to her right now. Suddenly though, the pastor’s words break through my thoughts of her and grab my attention.
“Why do we fall in love? Why do we get married and attempt to build our lives together? Some would say there’s a scientific reason, a chemical reaction that causes attraction. I’m sure there is some truth to that. Certainly we’ve all felt that moment of undeniable desire for another person, but what takes us from that moment to the time when we stare into each other’s eyes and declare our love until death do us part?”
He walks past the couple and addresses everyone in the room. “I think it’s more than science. I think there is a basic need in every human being to feel unconditional love. The kind of love that you know is there for you, no matter what. We hear the vows, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, but what do they mean? In my opinion, it means giving yourself to someone entirely, without fear, without regret, with only the other person’s happiness and needs in your heart. There is no ulterior motive. You want nothing for yourself.”
I swear this man is speaking directly to me right now. My chest tightens and I feel uncomfortable. I can’t even describe it. I glance at Mackenzie and she is locked on his every word. She lifts a tissue to her eyes and dabs a tear away. She feels what I feel. I know it now.
The pastor continues. “That explains unconditional love, but it doesn’t explain why we seek it. Why do we combine our lives with another and make ourselves vulnerable? Look at Macy and Simon here. They were both happy people before they met. They each have good jobs, happy family lives, and a large group of loyal friends. What made them decide to merge it all together? Love? Well, of course. There is love there, but look around for a moment. Everyone in this room loves them. Everyone here wants to see them be happy, but when this ceremony is over, when the last glass of champagne is gone, when the music stops, all of you will go home and live your lives. Macy and Simon choose to share each other’s lives together because at the end of the day, we all want to be important to someone else. We all want to matter. When we die, we want someone to care. We all want a witness to our lives.”
His last sentence drives straight into my heart. I realize with astonishing clarity that my parent’s version of love isn’t everyone’s. I know what it feels like to want to spend every moment with another person, to want that person’s happiness, to dream of the future. I know what love feels like. My version of it.
I look at Mackenzie again and as she reaches down for another tissue, she glances up at me. I can tell from her expression that these words are meaningful to her, too.
“So, my friends, we’re here to celebrate Macy and Simon’s choice to merge their lives. We’re here because it gives all of us hope. Whether you’re married, dating, or still waiting to meet someone special, we all need to have hope in love. We all need someone to celebrate our wins and pick us up when we fall. I believe we all need to matter. We all need love. We all need a witness. Let’s pray.”
Everyone bows their heads, but I don’t. I stare at Mackenzie, willing her to look at me. When she does, everything suddenly makes sense. She’s the one and I can’t let her go. I can’t spend another minute without her. There are no words exchanged, no gestures, just a sh
ared look. The prayer ends and she reluctantly turns away.
Simon and Macy exchange vows and I’m captivated by it. I’ve been to a hundred weddings in my lifetime, but none have ever resonated with me before. Simon chokes with emotion trying to get his words out. When he is finished, he mouths ‘I love you’ to Macy. She smiles and whispers it back. She finishes her vows and the pastor declares them husband and wife. The room explodes with clapping as the newly married couple walks out, waving to everyone. We all start to file out of the room for the cocktail hour so they can transform the ballroom for the reception. I try to find Mackenzie, but she is nowhere to be seen. Tony stands talking to a group of coworkers and Sydney excuses herself to go to the ladies room.
I pace uncomfortably until several members of my team show up. We chat and I’m happy for the distraction. Mackenzie walks up behind me and puts her hand on my back.
“Your assistant knows how to throw a serious party. The appetizer table looks amazing.”
“I haven’t seen it yet.”
“You should get some. I think it’s several hours before the actual dinner,” she says.
“Good idea.”
Several of us walk over to the food table and load up on various elaborate finger foods. I order a martini and laugh to myself when I see Mackenzie holding hers. Sydney appears by my side.
“Hey, you okay?” I ask.
“Oh yeah, just a line in the ladies.”
“Get some food.”
“Okay.”
She loads her plate up and we make small talk. I’m so aware of every move Mackenzie makes and even more aware of Tony’s. He stands next to her and I watch as his hand slides down her back. The smile disappears from her face for a moment as she moves away from him slightly. I really don’t want to have to kick his ass at Macy’s wedding tonight, but I will if I have to.
Sydney laughs which gets my attention. “You are ridiculous, you know that?”
“Why do you say that?”
“You obviously want Mackenzie.”
“Um, you’re totally wrong about that.”
“You’re not being as discreet as you think you are.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The ballroom doors open, providing a welcomed distraction from the topic. “Oh look, we can go inside and sit.” I take Sydney by the arm and guide her inside. We find our table number in the vast ballroom and take our seats.
“Maybe I’m just a little jealous,” Sydney announces.
“Say again?”
“Jealous. I thought I looked pretty good tonight, but how would you know. All you see is her.”
“That isn’t true. I told you that you look great.”
“I know.”
I feel like an ass as Sydney plays with her napkin. I’m starting to think that maybe she hoped this was going to be a little more than just friends hanging out at an event.
“I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, Sydney.”
She looks up and smiles. “You didn’t. I know this isn’t like a real date. I’m just giving you a hard time. That said, you are giving Mackenzie a lot of looks so you might want to chill if you don’t want others thinking what I did.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” I squeeze her hand and grin.
The bride and groom arrive and we all stand and clap for them as the wedding party is announced. We gather around the dance floor as the couple starts their first dance. Like a laser trained only on her, my eyes follow Mackenzie everywhere she goes. Since Sydney called me out, I’m trying to keep it a little more undercover.
The DJ announces we can all join the couple on the dance floor, and even though I really want to find Kenzie, I take Sydney around the waist and slow dance with her. She lays her head on my shoulder and I look around the room for Mackenzie. I finally see her talking to Matt and his wife. She looks at me, holding my gaze for a few precious seconds before returning her attention to her companions. The song ends and we return to our seats. It’s then that I notice Mackenzie and Tony are also at our table. She sits across from me and then Tony joins her. He nods at me from his seat, but it’s a cocky gesture. Motherfucker.
I shift in my seat. This is far more uncomfortable than I anticipated.
Sydney speaks up. “Mackenzie, right?” she asks.
“Yes, that’s right,” Mackenzie replies.
“Nice to meet you formally.”
“Have we met informally?” Mackenzie’s voice is cool and I can tell she is not impressed.
“No, I’ve just seen you around the office. Your sales prowess has been the topic of a few conversations. Pretty impressive.”
“Thank you.” She sips her martini. “And your name is?”
“Sydney. I’m here with Brayden.”
“That’s obvious.”
“Is this your boyfriend?” she asks, motioning to Tony.
He grins and Mackenzie grimaces. “No, he’s my coworker. Are you and Brayden an item?”
Sydney laughs. “Oh goodness, no. I’m just a pal. Haven’t you heard about his rep?” She slaps me on the back. “No offense, Brayden, but you go through women like underwear.”
“Maybe I’ve reformed my ways.”
Tony scoffs. “Ran out of interns?”
“Shut the fuck up, Tony.”
“Or what?”
“Do you really want to find out?”
“I’m not afraid of you.”
“You should be.”
Tony glares at me and puts his arm around the back of Mackenzie’s chair. “Too bad you can’t snag a class act like Mackenzie here.”
“Oh and you can?”
“I’m sitting here, aren’t I?”
“You’re a douche.”
“Gentlemen,” Mackenzie interrupts. “This is a wedding. Let’s be civilized, shall we?”
“Yeah,” I say.
Tony laughs and Mackenzie rolls her eyes. Sydney leans close to me. “Sorry. I didn’t know you and Tony weren’t cool.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
Some slow song starts and Sydney claps her hands together. “Ooh, I love this song. Can we dance, Brayden?”
“Sure.” I stand and pull her chair out. Mackenzie refuses to look at me as we walk to the dance floor. Sydney wraps her arms around my neck. This is absolutely the last thing I want to do right now. Before I know it, Mackenzie is dancing with Tony and it makes my blood boil. I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I remind myself that I just need to get through dinner, maybe cake, and then I can get out of here.
After the song, a new one starts and I make the bold decision to cut in on Tony and Mackenzie.
“May I have this dance?” I ask.
Tony starts to speak, but Mackenzie interrupts. “I suppose. Tony, dance with Sydney.”
He obediently takes my spot with Sydney, who doesn’t seem to mind at all, as long as she can keep dancing.
“You shouldn’t have done that,” Mackenzie whispers.
“Could you be more specific? I’ve done about ten things tonight I shouldn’t have done because of you.”
“I didn’t know it would hurt so much to see you with someone else.”
“I knew it would kill me to see you with Tony.”
“He’s an ass. The sooner this night is over the better.”
“Agreed.” I twirl her around the dance floor as we dance to “The Way You Look Tonight.”
“Mackenzie, I can’t take this anymore. I have to be with you. I need to kiss you. Let’s leave.”
“We can’t do that and you know it. What would people say?”
“I don’t think I care anymore.”
“I do.”
“Kenzie…”
“Not here,” she whispers and pulls out of my arms.
I watch her walk back to our table and start to join her when Macy stops me.
“Dance with me?” she asks.
“Of course, Macy.” We dance together for a minute before I speak. “You look incredible tonight.”
“Thank you. I feel beautiful.”
“Your ceremony was very moving, too. It hit a nerve with me.”
“In a good way I hope.”
“I think so.”
“What’s going on with you and Mackenzie?”
“It’s awful, Macy. I want her so bad right now and I can’t stand seeing her with Tony.”
“Tell her.”
“I tried. She said ‘not here’ and walked away.”
“So?”
“So, she doesn’t want a scene and I don’t want to mess up anything at your wedding.”
“You couldn’t mess up anything about this night. It’s absolutely perfect. It would be even better if you confessed that you are in love with that woman.”
“Alright, I’m in love with her.”
“Not to me. To her.”
“She doesn’t want to hear it.”
“Maybe she does and she’s just scared.”
“I don’t know what to do, Macy.”
“Tell her.”
I look over at the table and she is sitting alone, messing with her phone. Now is my chance.
“Go to her,” Macy whispers.
“Okay.”
Taking a deep breath, I walk towards the table and when she sees me she stands and walks quickly in the other direction. I catch up with her and grab her arm, pulling her into a corner of the ballroom, far away from the reception guests.
“Mackenzie, I need you to listen to me for a few minutes.”
“Not here, Brayden, please.”
“Right here, right now. You can’t run from me anymore.”
She looks around, clearly worried about being discovered.
“No one knows we’re over here. There are five hundred guests. We won’t be missed for a few minutes.”
“Okay.”
“I need a witness, Kenzie.”
Chasing Desire Page 28
