Chasing Desire

by Jennifer Domenico

  I climb onto his lap, rubbing against him as water splashes around us. He wipes away the suds covering my breasts and sucks each into his mouth. It feels so good. Throwing my head back, I feel his hands glide down my stomach and over my hips. My skin reacts to his touch, as though a tiny electric shock courses through me each time he makes contact with me.

  “Do you want to get out?” he whispers.

  “No.”

  He smiles and I reach down to guide him into me. As he pushes inside, I close my eyes and concentrate on every centimeter, every inch, as he fills me. It’s like my body is a puzzle, with many missing pieces. For every gap in me, he has the piece to fill it. We fit perfectly together. He was made for me.

  “I love you,” I whisper.

  “I know,” he responds, as he moves deep within me.

  His arms wrap tightly around me as we move together, in a synchronized rhythm, matching each other’s pace and intensity. If it was possible to merge into another person, I would be positive it was happening right now. He is part of me now. And I am his.

  My climax creeps slowly through my body, like a blush that warms my cheeks and radiates over me. I don’t cry out this time. I simply pull him closer and whisper over and over how much I love him.

  “God, Kenzie,” he moans. He releases into me and sighs, holding me close.

  I lie against him and kiss his cheek. “That was incredible.”

  “Yeah,” he says, breathing heavy. “It always is with you. You are my perfect match.” He kisses my cheek. “You’re my Cleopatra.”

  We both laugh, but then I stop and stare into his vibrant blue eyes. “You’re healing me, Brayden. Your love is taking away all my pain. Thank you.”

  “I don’t know what to say to that,” he says softly.

  “You don’t have to respond. I just want you to know what you’ve done for me and how you make me feel.” I laugh softly. “For a girl who couldn’t talk about her feelings, now I can’t shut up about them.”

  “I hope you never do. I can’t even tell you what it does for me to hear them.” He kisses my lips. “To see you happy, to hear your love for me, to see that incredible smile on your face, it’s like I won the damn lottery.”

  “The love lottery?” I ask and throw my head back in laughter.

  “Your laughter heals me,” he says, seriously. “It’s the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard.”

  We gaze into each other’s eyes. I see so much emotion, sincerity, and love for me it makes me want to cry. Cry for the little girl who lost so much that it hardened her. I want to cry for that woman who was so broken all she could do to cope with the pain was hurt herself. I want to cry for all the time lost in solitude and unhappiness, but mostly, I want to cry for the woman she is now. For the happiness and joy that surrounds her and permeates her being. I want to cry that her heart is so full of love it simply overflows. I want to cry for the woman who holds this man in her arms right now. This woman knows what love looks and feels like. The most amazing thing is that she knows how to love him back.

  “You make me very happy,” I say.

  “That makes me very happy.”

  “Good.”

  “Want to go to bed?”

  “Yes.”

  “Our bed.”

  “Yeah,” I grin. “I like how that sounds.”

  “Me, too.”

  We climb out of the bath and dry off and I lie in the bed while Brayden anoints my body with lotion. I feel like the most loved and spoiled woman on the planet. Pretty sure I am.

  We lie together staring up at the ceiling.

  “We’ll go house hunting next weekend. If you still want to do that,” Brayden says.

  “I do.”

  “Don’t ever leave me again. I’ll die if you do.”

  “I’m never leaving. Not willingly.”

  “Good.”

  I roll over and lay my head on his chest.

  “I didn’t even know…” he murmurs.

  “Know what?”

  “That being in love was awesome and that I was even capable of it. I avoided it for so long because I thought it ruined lives.”

  “It can. When it’s true love and you lose it, it can ruin you. I knew that those couple of weeks we were broken up after the Stacey incident. Oh and after the wedding…” I pause. “It was awful.”

  “It was the first time I really understood what love was.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “You never have to apologize to me again, Kenzie. We both had some shit to work through and it’s good we did. We can move forward with each other and we both know now our capacity for love.”

  “Yes.”

  “Love doesn’t ruin, it fixes. Love gives meaning and purpose to my life. You are that meaning and purpose. When you were gone, I thought about all the things we might not get to have if you never came back. I thought of all the moments, like this one, when we just hold each other. I thought of the kisses I would miss and the future that wouldn’t be.”

  “Brayden…”

  “I cried for you one night.” I look up at him as he stares at the ceiling. “I went to the beach and sat in that sand so scared, so worried about what they were doing to you and if I would ever get you back in my arms. I promised myself that if I did get you back, I would never lose another moment with you. I would take full advantage of the love I’ve been given.”

  A tear slides down my cheek as he speaks. I’ve never heard words more amazing than these and I know he means every single one of them.

  “Now you’re here and it’s like every dream I dreamt that night on the beach can be now. I can have this life with you. We can do all the things that people who love each other do. If you want that stuff with me.”

  “Brayden.” I sit up on my knees. “I want everything with you.” I take his hand and put it over my heart. “Do you feel that?”

  He nods his head.

  “It’s racing like I just ran a marathon.” I smile. “It does that when I’m around you. I want all this stuff with you.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah. I would even move to the suburbs with you.”

  Brayden laughs. “Let’s not get crazy.”

  “Too late. I’m already crazy about you.”

  “That’s a feeling I can relate to.”

  I settle back into his arms as he strokes my hair. “There’s something else I want to do,” I say.

  “What’s that?”

  “I want a clover tattoo. Just like yours.”

  “You do?” He grins. “Why?”

  “You are the good luck charm I’ve been missing all my life. Meeting you brought me hope and luck and love. You are the four leaf clover that was buried in the grass waiting for me to find.”

  “I know just the place we can go.” Brayden brushes his fingers against my cheek. “You’re safe with me, Kenzie.”

  “I know. I’ve never felt safer in my life.”

  “Are you sure you’re ready for this, babe? We can take another day if you need it.” I watch Kenzie sliding into her work clothes. She looks calm, but I wonder if that is what she really feels.

  “Brayden, I am definitely ready. This weekend was awesome and just what I needed. You took such good care of me.”

  “That’s my job.”

  “You do it well.” She looks over at me and grins. “Like everything you do.”

  “If you say so.”

  “I say so. Stop worrying.”

  “I called Theresa last night after you went to sleep. She said we should get some results back from the evidence testing the police did.” I look at the floor for a moment. “There was blood at the barn and they are running DNA to see who it matches.”

  “I’m sure it’s just mine and maybe Sydney’s.” She stops for a minute. “You know what, though? Sydney hit him with something. Maybe he bled.”

  “Yeah, maybe.”

  “Brayden,” she says, walking over to me and wrapping her arms around my waist. “I really am
okay. I swear I would tell you if I wasn’t. We need to keep living our lives. Work is a place we both love. I want to go there.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay.” I take a deep breath. “Let’s do this.”

  “Let’s.”

  “Matt said he told the team Friday afternoon, so I would expect some walking on eggshells around you today.”

  “I figured that would happen. I’m positive no one will know what to say to me. I know I wouldn’t if this happened to someone else.” She fluffs her hair in the mirror. “I’ll try to help everyone get back to normal.”

  “You’re amazing, you know that?”

  “Yes. You picked me.”

  “If I recall it was definitely you who made this happen.”

  She grins. “Yes, I did seduce you, didn’t I? I told you my powers of persuasion were amazing.”

  I laugh and shake my head. “My dick got hard the minute I saw you and hasn’t settled down yet.”

  “That’s not a bad thing.”

  “Only when I need to get some work done.”

  “Plenty of time for work. Speaking of, we need to call Majestic and get that rescheduled. Oh, and I was almost finished with my last proposal so I need to put the finishing touches on that. Maybe I can get an intern to do some of my administrative work I missed last week. I wonder if Shannon is busy today. She’s really good, you know—”

  I grin and pull her into my arms, planting a firm kiss on her gorgeous mouth.

  “What was that for?” she asks, laughing.

  “That was for being Mackenzie. And this,” I say, kissing her much softer now, “Is for being Kenzie."

  “Perfect.”

  “Like you are.”

  “I’m not perfect, Brayden.”

  “You are for me and that’s all I care about.”

  A huge smile fills her face. “Shall we go to work?”

  “Yes.”

  I take her hand as we walk outside to face the day.

  As we drive, I notice her demeanor is unchanged. It seems like any normal Monday for Mackenzie. I’m not sure if I should admire her resolve or wonder if she has just buried her fear under that mountain of resolve. But I have to trust that she is being honest with me and herself and that she is as fine as she says she is.

  We walk inside and I push the elevator for her floor, squeezing her hand. She looks at me and smiles then kisses my cheek. I’m glad we don’t have to hide anymore.

  The doors open to her floor and we step out. When Matt sees her, he stands and smiles. She grins, but stops in her tracks as everyone stands, following Matt’s lead. My eyes glance around the room. Even Angelica returns the gesture. Kenzie motions for everyone to sit as she walks to her desk. She glances back at me and I nod.

  “Hi, everyone,” she says. “I know this might be uncomfortable for you, so I just want to say that I am fine. I wasn’t hurt.” She touches the fading bruise on her cheek. “Except for this and it’s not that bad.” She smiles. “I am ready to work and I don’t want to be treated differently. If I didn’t feel like I could work at my normal capacity I wouldn’t be here, so please, let’s all just do what we normally do.”

  “Can we ask questions?” Karen asks.

  “Sure,” Mackenzie answers.

  “Has anyone been arrested?” she asks.

  “No, unfortunately. We are aware of one of the individuals involved, but we aren’t sure where they both are,” she answers. “So, the issue isn’t entirely resolved, but many people are working on it.” She looks over at me and I continue.

  “We would like to ask if any of you see or hear anything out of the ordinary that you tell one of us immediately. This situation has been going on for a long time and obviously it escalated to a serious point.”

  “You got it, boss,” Matt says. “Welcome back, Mackenzie.”

  “Thank you.” She smiles. “Now, shall we all get to work?”

  Everyone sits down and goes back to what they were doing before we arrived. My heart swells with pride over how well she handled that and how strong she is. She talks with Matt and looks up at me, moving her hair out of her way. I wink at her and she winks back.

  I think everything is going to be just fine.

  Lunch time comes and I can’t wait to get back to Kenzie. I just have to make one call before I go see her. I dial Theresa’s number.

  “Hi, Brayden, how’s Mackenzie doing today?” she asks.

  “Good. Her spirits are high and she’s back to work. Any updates?”

  “Yes, a few, but not much to go on so I was waiting to call until later.”

  “What do you have so far?”

  “There were lots of fingerprints in the barn and they are all being run through a system right now to look for matches. It might not come back with anything if no one has a record. These people don’t sound like they’re career criminals.”

  “No, not at all.”

  “We are also still running the blood samples we have. All we have so far is a match for Mackenzie.”

  “Okay.” I take a deep breath. “We’re going to find the people who did this to her, right?”

  “It’s my full time focus, Brayden. I promise. It drives me nuts when people get away with shit like this. It’s why I went into this business after I retired from the FBI.”

  “Wait, you were in the FBI? I don’t remember reading that on your website.”

  “I don’t have it listed. I was involved in a lot of undercover work, some of which is still happening so I don’t advertise that. I used to work in New Jersey and New York and dealt with some pretty shady types.” She chuckles. “Of the organized crime variety.”

  “Wow. That’s kind of cool, Theresa.”

  “Yeah, but it was dangerous. I retired early. The stress was too much, but then I found that I couldn’t just let it go. I couldn’t stop wanting justice. So I do this as far away from New Jersey as I can get.”

  “I always knew you were the right person to help us.”

  “I won’t rest until we find them. The police are doing a lot as well, but not as much as they would be if they had done more to harm Mackenzie.”

  “You mean if they killed her.”

  “I didn’t want to say it.”

  “You don’t have to. I feared it constantly while she was gone.”

  “Thank god that isn’t what happened and she’s back with you.”

  “Agreed.”

  “I’ll keep you posted. I’m supposed to hear back from the police tonight. Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. We’ve had a hard time finding out where Sydney lives. Her personnel file has an address in Orange County and we found out that it’s her parents’ house. We’ve already sent someone to go check it out. I don’t know where she lives locally. There is no way she could commute from Irvine to San Diego every day.”

  “Well, she could, but it doesn’t make a lot of sense. She told me when I picked her up for the wedding to meet her here. She said there was a lot of construction in front of her place.”

  “Hmm, okay. Well, it’s a clue, I guess. We could check out major construction areas around town.”

  “I don’t know of any friends she had around the office. Every time I saw her, she was alone.” I rub my forehead. “Wait!”

  “What?”

  “The wedding.”

  “Huh?”

  “I didn’t take her home. Tony did. He might know where she lives.”

  “Can you ask him?”

  I remember back to my last interaction with Tony. “I’m not sure I’m the right person to ask.”

  “Can someone?”

  “Yeah. We’ll see what we can find out.”

  “Get back with me. An address would be very helpful.”

  “Okay.”

  I take a deep breath. I can’t go down there again. Plus, I don’t know that we can tell him or anyone else anything about Sydney’s involvement in this. Still, he might be able to give us a huge clue. I have no choice
but to send Kenzie to ask. He’ll tell her anything she wants to know.

  Just as I’m standing up to go see her, my phone rings again.

  “Hello?”

  “It’s me again,” Theresa says. “I didn’t mention this, but you shouldn’t tell anyone what we know about Sydney. We don’t know who could be helping her and we don’t want to tip her off.”

  “I was just thinking about that. I decided to have Mackenzie go ask Tony. He has a thing for her and I think she can persuade him without telling him too much.”

  “If you think that’s best. Just keep that information close to the vest.”

  “I will.”

  “Okay.”

  I hang up and walk out to chat with Macy for a moment.

  “How is it going, boss? You look rested.”

  “I am. We just hung out at home all weekend.”

  “Good. Mackenzie is doing alright?”

  “Yeah, she really is. She’s very strong.”

  “That’s obvious. She’s kind of amazing. I don’t know what I would have done in the situation.”

  “None of us do. I wish Kenzie never had to find out.”

  “Me, too. Let’s be thankful she’s safe.”

  “I am. More than you know.” I look at my watch. “Speaking of, I’m going to go pick her up for lunch.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “Nowhere. Just the sandwich shop downstairs. I don’t want us to be out in the open yet until we know what is happening.”

  “Good idea.”

  “I have them sometimes.”

  “All the time.” She smiles and I walk over to the elevator to head down and see Kenzie.

  When I step off, I see her talking with Matt and a few others. She looks happy, normal, beautiful. She catches my eyes and her smile fills her face. My heart does a triple backflip at the sight.

  “Hey,” I say. “Ready for lunch?”

  “I am.”

  “We need to make a pit stop. I need you to ask Tony a question.”

  She frowns. “Why?”

  “Because I just remembered that he took Sydney home after Macy’s wedding and we don’t know where she lives. We need an address.”

  “Okay.”