Love Is Relative

by Francis, Haven

  Emily

  As we make our way up the path I see an unfamiliar car parked in Grandma’s and Grandpa’s drive way. “Who is that?” Danny asks.

  “I don’t know,” I say. The fear starts to spread through my body before I realize why it’s there. We approach the car and I look at the bumper. There are no plates. My heart feels like it falls out of my body and I can’t move.

  “What’s wrong, Em?” Danny asks, turning his body so that he is standing in front of me, both arms wrapped around me now.

  “I think it’s her,” I whisper forcing myself to look into his clear eyes.

  “Oh, shit.” He looks around for her but I can’t get myself to do the same. I am terrified. I need him to look at me, to reassure me that it’s going to be okay. To tell me that he will be by my side when I am forced to see her. To tell me that although he hates her, he can still love me. He finally turns his eyes back to me and they look crazed. “What do you want to do?” he asks me. I shake my head wanting to tell him to get me the hell out of here but I don’t have the chance.

  “Emily,” I hear her happy voice and I think, for the first time, that it sounds fake because I know now, for certain, that she doesn’t care about me. I hold tight to Danny’s gaze. I can’t look at her. He stares back with steely resolve. He is preparing to face her.

  Without warning, she is next to me and has her arms wrapped around my neck. Danny relinquishes his hold on my waist to make room for her but I don’t take my eyes off of him. He’s the only source of strength that I have.

  “Emily,” she says. “Look at me, hon. It’s me, I’m home.” Her face replaces Danny’s as she shifts to stand in front of me. I’m faced with her pleading eyes. “I missed you so much, honey. I was so worried when I go back to Arcadia and you were gone.”

  I can’t take my eyes from hers but I can’t get myself to speak either. I am silently cursing up a storm directed at her but I can’t seem to unleash it on her.

  “Lovey?” she asks with concern. “I thought you’d be happy to see me. I’ve missed you so much.” She reaches out her hand out and pulls it through my hair. It brings back so many memories. It’s so hard to keep up my hatred when she’s here with me. She pulls me into her arms and I let her. “It’s us, sweetie, right? You and me against the world, it’s still the two of us, right?” she asks and again a million memories come rushing back to me. How many times has she said this to me? It used to make me feel special, like I was the only person she needed. But now I know that’s not true. She only needed me when I was all she had left. God knows that she was never the one to wipe away my tears or tell me things were going to be okay when I was the one who needed to hear it. It’s always been her. It’s never been us. She’s not the one I need anymore.

  I push my body away from hers and take a step back. I look to Danny but he’s no longer there. I turn to find him but he’s gone.

  “What?” my mom asks.

  “Danny,” I whisper to myself.

  “Was that Danny you were with?” she asks. “My goodness, Emily, what kind of trouble have you gotten yourself into since you’re mom’s been away? Thank goodness I’m back now,” she says laughing like this is all some funny joke.

  I stare into her laughing eyes. She is unbelievable- the ability she has to write everything off like it doesn’t matter. I’m searching for the strength to tell her off, something I’ve never done, when I hear Grandpa’s tuck pulling up the drive.

  “There they are,” she says under her breath. “I was starting to think they’d both kicked it since I’d been gone.” I want to level her but I’m staring at the truck and I see the pain creep into Grandpa’s face as he sees his daughter.

  Mom takes off for the truck. I watch as she waits for it to roll to a stop. As soon as it does she pulls open Grandma’s door and steps up to the cab reaching her arms around Grandma’s seated body. I watch Grandma return the hug and I know that she has already forgiven my mom. I turn my eyes back to Grandpa as he steps out of the truck. He looks concerned as he ignores his daughter and makes his way to me.

  “Oh, Emmie,” he says taking me into his arms.

  “It’s okay, Pa. Just don’t leave me.”

  “Of course not.”

  “Hey, Daddy,” my mom says as she makes her way to us.

  “Charlotte,” he says simply, glancing at her for a moment before turning his attention back to me.

  “My goodness, Cliff. Your daughter is finally home, you could give her more than a simple nod,” Grandma says.

  “Lucille,” he says sternly. And that’s all he has to say. Grandpa rarely speaks in a harsh tone but anyone who knows him knows it’s the same as cussing up an angry storm.

  “Fine,” Grandma says, “be stubborn.” I feel her leave with my mom but I don’t look at either of them.

  Once I know they’re gone, I let out the breath I’ve been keeping inside. “Danny...” I say to myself.

  “He went home to get the kids. Said he heard our truck coming so he left. I think he’s a little shook up by the fact that Charlotte is here.”

  “Yea, I know the feeling.”

  “What do you want to do, Emily?” he asks me.

  “What do you mean, Pa?”

  “You know she can’t take you from here anymore but if you don’t want her here, I don’t have a problem asking her to leave.”

  “No, Grandpa, it’s okay. I’m sure she’ll leave soon enough on her own.”

  “Let's hope you’re right,” he says. “Don’t get me wrong, she’s my daughter and I love her but I can’t help but feel like things would be a lot easier without her.”

  Danny

  “What’s wrong, Danny?” Sue asks as soon as she has the kids occupied with a snack.

  “Charlie’s home,” I tell her.

  “Oh, no. How’s Emily?”

  “I don’t know. Scared I guess. I heard Cliff’s truck pulling in here so I took off to come get the kids. I should probably go back and check on her but, honest to God, I hate her mother. She didn’t even look at me, was hugging Emily like she never hurt the girl. I don’t know if I can face her.”

  “I can handle things around here. You do what you can to help Emily out, Lord knows she’s doing all she can to help us.”

  “Thanks Sue. I’ll check on her and let you know,” I say, pulling out my phone. She pats me on the arm and then goes and sits with the kids.

  Sorry I left you there with Charlie. I shouldn’t have. Are you okay?

  It’s okay, I know you had to get home to the kids. Grandpa was here a minute later. No I’m not okay. I can’t believe she’s here. She’s just bouncing around the house happy as a pig in shit as if nothing ever happened. Right now she’s in the kitchen telling Grandma all about her latest boyfriend. I just hope she goes soon. I can’t live with her here.

  Do you want me to come there? Sue will be here all night. I can come to you.

  No, you have enough to deal with. You don’t need to be dealing with this too.

  I asked if you want me to come, not if you think I should.

  Of course I want you here but I’m fine. I have Grandpa, he’s just as mad as I am… we can commiserate together.

  I’ll be there in fifteen.

  Danny no, I’m fine.

  I want to be there for you.

  I put my phone away before I can read her response. Truthfully, being anywhere near Charlie is the last thing I want to do but Sue is right, Emily is always here when I need her. She’s always helping us out and I need to be there for her right now, no matter how much I hate her mother.

  #

  As I make my way up the drive I see Cliff and Emily out on the porch swing and I’m relieved. I don’t want to see Charlie, I know I’ll have to eventually, but I really don’t want to.

  “Danny,” Cliff says standing to shake my hand as I come up the steps. He looks to Emily then. “I’ll let you two be alone. I’ll come get you when it’s time for dinner.”

  “Don’t leave
on my account,” I tell him.

  “Grandpa, please don’t go… not yet,” Emily says. Cliff sits back down and pats her leg.

  I lean against the railing across from them and join in on their contemplative silence. This woman is going to ruin all of us, I think.

  “I think she’s got Grandma hooked on the ways of Luna,” Emily says to me.

  I laugh and it feels out of place but the corner of Emily’s mouth lifts in a half smile.

  “Let him have her,” Cliff says. “They can go enjoy each other in New Mexico for all I care.”

  I raise my eyebrows at Cliff. I’ve never heard him say a bad word about anyone, epically not his wife and daughter. Emily seems unfazed and I’m guessing they’ve been out here for a while trading off snide comments.

  “Unfortunately, I don’t get the feeling that Mom’s going back there. Where’d she say this new boyfriend of hers lives?” Emily asks her grandfather.

  “She didn’t. I’m sure he’s some homeless mooch, just like the rest of them. I can tell you one thing though, he’s not coming here.”

  They sit back in their silence again.

  “The kids had a good time in Rochester. I hope they were good for you and your sister-in-law.” I say, breaking the silence.

  “They’re always good. And they’re good for us. Linda was sad to see them go. Maddie had her wrapped around her finger like she does with everyone. I’m glad I had Jason with me, I needed a break from all the gossip. Do you know we had a very interesting conversation about the Civil War?” Cliff asks.

  I laugh, I can totally picture Jason rattling of facts and asking questions, like some old man. “Well thanks for taking them. It was good for them to have a break.”

  “Too bad we have problems in both houses now. I wish the two of you could take those kids and just get out of here for a while.”

  “Wouldn’t that be nice,” I say tempted to grab Emily and get the hell out of here. I look at her; her dreamy smile.

  “Some day,” she says quietly.

  The door swings open and Lucille steps out to the porch. “Hello, Danny,” she says smiling at me. “Hope your staying for dinner?”

  I look at Emily’s wide eyes and I know I can’t leave her. “That would be nice. Thank you.”

  “Well it’s ready. Y’all come on in,” she says before going back inside.

  “I hope you know it’s not actually going to be nice,” Emily says, coming to me and taking my hand.

  “I can’t imagine how it could be.”

  “Thank you for doing it anyway. It means a lot to me.”

  Emily and I sit down at the table across from Charlie. I felt my body warm with anger as soon as I stepped into the room with her. I try not to look her in the eyes; I’m not sure how long I can be cordial for. I can feel her staring at me though. “Danny,” she says and I force my eyes to meet hers. She smiles brightly at me and it pisses me off. Emily grabs a hold of my hand under the table and I grasp it tightly. “It’s so nice of you to join us for my first dinner back,” she says, like this is some damn celebration.

  “He’s only here for Emily’s sake,” Cliff tells her.

  Charlie turns her angry eyes to her father. “I understand that you’re mad I’ve been gone, Dad, but it doesn’t mean Danny isn’t happy to see me.” She turns back to me, smiling hugely and it’s all I can do to sit there calmly.

  “Grandpa’s not mad that you’ve been gone, Mom. He’s mad that you’re back without an explanation or apology. And trust me, Danny is not happy to see you.” Emily says and I almost choke. It’s as if she and Cliff have been possessed. The mild-mannered Winters have their claws out. I’ve never heard Emily disrespect her mother to her face, even though there has always been plenty of cause for it.

  “Emily Ann Winters, what has gotten into you?” Lucille scolds.

  “I’m sorry, Grandma,” she says before turning back to her mother. “I just wish you would stop pretending like everything is just fine and dandy. You’ve hurt all of us and I guess I’d just like to see a little remorse.”

  “My God,” Charlie laughs. “When did you and you’re grandpa become such cranks? I’d like to know what I did to you that was so terrible?”

  Emily chokes on her meatloaf then takes a big gulp of water. “Is that a serious question or are you trying to be funny?”

  “I got you out of this small town and brought you some place better. You got to live a free and happy life. At least I thought we were happy there until I came home and found out you had not only left me but stolen money and a car from the people who had taken us in with open arms. You should know they wouldn’t let me stay. I had to leave because of you but you don’t see me asking for an apology.”

  I look at Emily who is literally stunned into silence. I want to say something for her but the absolute rage that I feel for her mother is not something that I want anyone but Charlie to hear. Emily finally shakes her head and lets out an angry laugh. “I cannot believe you. First of all, I didn’t want to leave this small town. You took me away from everyone I loved and brought me to a damn commune where you proceeded to abandon me while you lived your life. Don’t act like you even considered what I wanted or what was best for me because that life was what you wanted. I never wanted it. Of course when you needed a break from the insanity you just picked up and left, for weeks at a time. You never even told me when you were leaving. I’m so sorry, Mom, that I had finally had enough, that I finally gave up on trying to do what was best for you, that I finally came to my senses and got the hell out of there and came back to where I belong. And if you think that leaving your mom and dad for almost three years with no explanation wasn’t hurtful to them then you are even more selfish than I had imagined. And don’t even get me started on Danny and his family...”

  “Danny and his family?” she asks like it’s the most perplexing thought that she’s ever had. “Please tell me what in the world I ever did to them?” She laughs and I feel like I’m in the Twilight Zone. Is she really that insane? I look at Emily and she is shaking; her whole body is vibrating and the look she gives Charlie is beyond any kind of anger that I’ve ever seen on her face.

  “Emily,” Cliff says gently, “don’t let her upset you. We’ll talk about it with her later.”

  I can tell Emily doesn’t hear a word he says. “Tell me, Mom,” she hisses, “tell me what you did to Danny and his family.”

  “I just told you, I have no idea.” She shakes her head at Emily and shoots a look in Lucille’s direction like Emily is nuts.

  “Have you forgotten, Mom, that little announcement you made to me and the entire Donovan family before you conveniently got the hell out of town and took me with you?”

  She gives Emily a tight smile and I know that she’s just playing a fucking game. She knows what she did but she’s not going to admit it. “What, the whole father thing?” she asks like it could have been any number of random statements she had made that day.

  “Yes, Mom,” Emily says through clenched teeth.

  “Please, I wasn’t serious. Mike knew that- he and I hadn’t slept together for years. He knew I wasn’t serious.” She laughs easily.

  Fucking bitch. I can’t take this anymore. I’m out of my chair and leaning across the table, ready to strangle that fucking crazy bitch. She pushes her chair back before I get to her and Lucille starts screaming like a crazy person. Emily stands next to me but doesn’t try to stop me. “I fucking hate you,” I say to Charlie before stopping myself. I push back from the table and turn to get the hell out of there.

  I can hear Emily screaming at Charlie as I make my way to the door. “Mike didn’t know that you stupid, careless, pathetic, whore. You destroyed their marriage, you destroyed their family. Cora is dead because of the medication she was taking to deal with your little joke. I cannot believe you.” There is a slamming on the table and second later Emily comes running into the entry. There is a look of horror on her face as her eyes meet mine. I grab her hand and pull her
out the door. We make it down the porch stairs before she collapses to her knees. She starts to scream and I want to scream with her but more than that I want to help her. I crouch down beside her. “Go, Danny, just go. Just get far away from us,” she says, wailing.

  “I’m not leaving you.”

  She lifts her head to look at me. “Did you hear what she said? It was a fucking lie, it was a fucking joke. You’re dad never cheated on your mom. She took everything from you and it was all a fucking lie. Run, Danny, you can’t be in the middle of this insanity. Just run, please.”

  “I’m not leaving you.”

  She lunges in my direction and pushes hard against my chest. I have to put my hand on the ground to keep from falling over but then I lean back into her. “Don’t you get it, Danny, what she did? She’s my mother, Danny. You have to go.”

  “I’m not leaving you,” I tell her for the third time. She looks into my eyes and shakes her head at me. The pain in her eyes is hard to look at. I reach out and pull her to me, wrapping her up in my arms. I feel the last of her strength leave her body as she goes completely limp in my arms. I need to get her away from Charlie, I need to get away from Charlie. I stand with Emily curled into my arms and make my way back to my cabin.

  “Emily, hold onto me,” I tell her as we stand in front of my door. She wraps her arms around my neck and I get the door open with my free hand. I walk to the bedroom and lay her on my bed. She doesn’t move from her fetal position. Her crying has stopped and she is too silent. “Emily?” I ask, sitting on the bed next to her.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispers with her head still hidden in her arms. “I can’t look at you right now.”

  I want to tell her this is not her fault but it’s obvious that she can’t understand that right now. Instead, I go around to the other side of the bed and lay my body down next to hers. I pull her back to my chest and wrap my arms around her.

  Danny

  I feel something on my face and I move to push it away but it leaves on its own. My eyes snap open and I’m staring into Emily’s. Her hand is hovering in the air and I take it in mine and pull it down to rest on the bed between us. I stare into her eyes trying to gauge her state of mind. She looks sad but no longer crazed. The room is mostly dark besides the light streaming in from the living room. I didn’t think I would ever fall asleep last night as I held Emily in my arms, I wasn’t sure she had either as we laid there in silence for hours. I knew that something horrible happened at the Winter’s but I couldn’t quite grasp it. I just felt numb. I still feel numb. I can’t wrap my head around it. It just seems unreal. I laid there trying to understand and I must have finally fallen asleep at some point.