Too Many Temples (World of Love 13)

by Erik Swill

  “What does that have to do with your studies? That sounds more like economics than psychology to me.” Adrian laughed. “Why? Are you thinking about applying for uni in Australia?”

  “No, I am already accepted. I just want to find out from a local. Can’t trust everything you read online, you know?”

  “Wait, what? You are going to study in Australia? This March? Why didn’t you tell me earlier? This changes things.”

  Ketut looked confused. “Changes what? These plans have been set for a few months already. Nothing has changed.”

  Adrian took a deep breath. He was thrilled at the prospect he and Ketut could spend more time together. Lost in his excitement, he shared his feelings—his true feelings—about how he saw Ketut. “I was worried that I wouldn’t see you ever again. And I didn’t like that. I don’t want for you to be a one-night stand. You deserve better than that. You mean more than that to me.”

  His voice faded as a smiling Ketut leaned in for another kiss. Adrian stopped his confession and committed to the kiss. He had never been good at committing to anything or anyone, but at that moment, he was committed to kissing Ketut. He would take baby steps if necessary, but Adrian wanted to make an effort for Ketut.

  Ketut pulled back, still smiling. “I thought you were acting funny about something. I didn’t think it was about leaving Bali. You’re a bad liar, Adrian.”

  “I didn’t know how you really felt about me. I was scared to let you know how I felt. This is new for me.”

  “What is new? Kissing a man?”

  “No. Opening up to someone.”

  “Well, that wasn’t very difficult, was it?”

  Adrian shook his head rigorously. “Harder than you could ever imagine, mate. Plenty hard!”

  “So you never answered my questions. Is Australia really as expensive as they say it is?”

  “It probably is. But it’s livable. People make it work. And there are tons of international students. They seem to do well enough. Hell, a lot of them probably have more money than I do.”

  “Those are the rich ones. Their parents pay for their studies abroad. Then they get PR and sponsor the parents to immigrate. It’s kind of an industry.”

  “So your parents aren’t covering all your expenses? Is that why you want a part-time job?”

  “No, my parents aren’t paying for anything. They want me to stay in Bali and work. But I received a government-sponsored scholarship. It pays for most of my costs. Most, but not all. So ya, the part-time job.”

  Adrian jolted from his high as a new thought crossed his mind. “You never mentioned where you were going to study.”

  “Oh ya. Central Queensland University in Rockhampton. Is it close to your house?”

  Adrian slouched after hearing that. As far as he was concerned, it couldn’t have been any worse. He might as well have said he was studying on Mars.

  “Rural Queensland? Shit, Ketut. No. No, it’s not close. It’s like a whole day’s drive from where I live in Brisbane.”

  “Really?” Ketut asked in disbelief. “Brisbane and Rockhampton are both in Queensland. They can’t be that far apart.”

  “Listen, mate. Brisbane and the Gold Coast are the only civilized part of Queensland. Even if you were talking about some small town an hour out of Brisbane, it would still be far from what I’ve got at home. And Rockhampton… I don’t know what they have there. Rocks maybe? But not many people. What did you do, pick the most random and obscure Australian town you could think of to study?”

  “Adrian, calm down. They are paying for my studies. I didn’t choose it. Besides, I’m looking forward to going.”

  “Looking forward to it? There is nothing there to look forward to. Brisbane is kind of a boring city. But Rockhampton isn’t even a pimple on Brisbane’s ass. Damn it. Why’d you have to do that? Get my hopes up.”

  Ketut studied Adrian’s reactions before going out on a limb. “Does it bother you that I am going to be so far away from you?”

  Adrian looked at Ketut, deep into his eyes. The solemn look on his face indicated he was sincere in asking. “Yes.”

  “Adrian, are you falling in love with me?”

  The direct line of questioning caught Adrian off guard. He scoffed. “It’s stupid. Just a crush, you know? Forget about it.”

  “I don’t want to forget about it, Adrian. Something I did or said has hurt you. But all I did was share my good news. I’m happy to be studying in Rockhampton. I thought you would be happy for me too. Obviously, I was wrong. Just not sure why.”

  “Look, mate. You know, you’re right. I am happy for you. If you are doing what you want to be doing, if you think getting a master’s degree is a good choice, if you think living in rural Australia sounds exciting, then I am very happy for you.”

  “But?”

  “But what? Good for you.”

  “But you weren’t happy when I told you. Why?”

  “Don’t worry about it. It’s just me being a little emo. Too much traveling today.”

  “So it isn’t because you want to spend more time with me? Be with me? And are upset that I will be so far away in Rockhampton? Like I would have been when you assumed I would stay in Bali when you went home?”

  Adrian’s head started to throb. He couldn’t think of any way to cover himself. He was being laid raw. Ketut had figured him out. His weakness had been exposed. “Ya, something like that. I’m sorry. I’m just not myself today. Maybe we should just head back to Ubud.”

  “Adrian, I like you. Sure, you’re a little moody, but I can get used to that.” Ketut offered the lighthearted comment. “I think it would be cool to spend more time with you too. Get to know you better. I think you feel the same way with me too.”

  Adrian sat quietly. He didn’t disagree. Ketut was preaching to the choir at this point.

  “Meeting you earlier today was sort of a highlight in my life, Adrian. Other than working and filling out visa applications and other official documents before my move, I don’t have very much fun these days. Most of my friends from university have either continued their studies elsewhere or got married and started a family straight away. I’ve been lonely. The carefree fun that you brought into my life today was the best that I’ve had in a while. I haven’t done anything like that before.”

  “You mean you don’t sleep with a different tourist every day?” Adrian realized he was just being an asshole at this point and apologized.

  “Having a gay relationship isn’t easy in Bali. Life just doesn’t work that way here… unless you manage to get a Western boyfriend. I am quick to fall in love. And I’ve fallen for a fair share of tourists over the past few years. And yes, that usually involves spreading my legs. Looking back, I can see that most of them were just interested in sex. It’s easy to make big promises when there is no plan to follow through with any of them, or any consequences for not doing so. But with you… there have been no promises. And yet I’ve been thinking about you all day, wanting to know more about you.”

  “The sex was good, wasn’t it?” Adrian mumbled.

  “Well, ya. No complaints there. But, I mean, you came to my home and showed me how to live in the moment and enjoy life. Anybody else I’ve gotten close to just wants to get what they can from me. You are different. You were going to have fun whether or not I was there. I envy that, but I want to be more like that. More like you in that way.”

  Adrian shook his head. Ketut didn’t know him well enough to make that claim.

  “I can’t change universities. Trust me. I’d rather live in a proper city if I had the choice. But I don’t. For me, the location didn’t matter. What made me happy was that I was going after what I wanted in life. Working toward a life goal. Rockhampton probably isn’t the most exciting place in Australia. I’d never heard of it before I received my sponsorship letter. But what I hope to accomplish there should more than make up for it.”

  “Good for you, mate.”

  Ketut waited for Adrian to continue. When he d
idn’t, Ketut took the conversation—and their would-be relationship—to the next level. “I know this may sound extreme, but I like that I like you this much. It just feels different with you. And we don’t need to rush anything. My visa is good for at least two years in Australia. Why don’t you move to Rockhampton? I bet you could find something to do there. Other than me, of course.” Ketut smiled slyly.

  Adrian didn’t find it cute and automatically reacted as he usually did when someone wanted to turn their sexual relationship into a proper relationship. He turned stone-cold and refused to take a chance on love. “Can you please just take me back to Ubud? I want to sleep off this headache I’m getting before it gets any worse.”

  IX

  ADRIAN SHUT the door and locked it as Luc waved goodbye. This guy was new to the scene, having recently arrived from France. He came to Queensland to sate a fascination with tropical coastal cities and was paid under the table for picking fruit at one of the nearby orchards. According to Luc, Adrian was the first Aussie he slept with since arriving. Coincidentally, Luc had been the first French guy Adrian had fucked, but that was not information he felt necessary to share. Luc was a nice guy but nothing more than a standard one-off fuck. He probably didn’t know that, though.

  Adrian slipped on the Snuggie his mother had given him for Christmas and settled on the sofa in front of the heater. Brisbane was normally comfortable in the winter, but this year had been unusually chilly. Adrian turned on the television. In his postorgasmic state, he was too tired to do anything but was not sleepy enough to go to bed. A repeat of the evening’s news was playing. Controversy over a recent mining contract with China, the prime minister is a douchebag, drought across most of the country…. Adrian got bored quickly watching the news. It was always the same variation on the same set of stories.

  As he picked up the remote again to flip channels, he heard the newscaster mention Rockhampton in the report. An overnight warehouse fire resulted in two deaths. Adrian’s first reaction was to snicker at the thought that Rockhampton even had a warehouse. But he shifted his thoughts to Ketut. Could he have taken a part-time job at the warehouse and been one of those two who were killed?

  He brushed off the thought. Of course he wouldn’t have been one of the two who died. Rockhampton was small, but it still had tens of thousands of people, including all of the university students. The odds were against it. While he didn’t worry about Ketut’s involvement in the fire, Adrian did start to wonder how Ketut had been doing.

  How were his studies going? Did he easily adapt to Australian culture? Had he been dressing warmly enough for the cold weather? Did he already have a boyfriend? Was he happy?

  Then Adrian started to wonder the same things about himself. His work was unchanging and not progressive. The scene in Brisbane was stale and unexciting. He was, as expected, no closer to having a boyfriend, as he hadn’t made any efforts to do so. And other than being glad he had a Snuggie to keep warm, he knew deep down he was not happy.

  Adrian had concocted a theory to naysay the reasons he felt his time in Bali was so memorable. It wasn’t because of Ketut, and it certainly wasn’t because of the mystique of the so-called Island of the Gods. Rather, it was simply because it added variety to his normal routine in Brisbane. That one-off encounter with Ketut had been just part of his typical behavior in interacting with guys he was attracted to.

  But his thoughts continued. Ketut. He kept thinking of Ketut. Wondering if Ketut would think less of him for seemingly having sex with anything that moved since having returned to Brisbane. Wondering if Ketut was at the center of a gang bang by blond-haired surfers with rock-hard physiques. The thought made him jealous.

  Hearing about Rockhampton in the news—the first time he had heard anything about Rockhampton since Ketut dropped him off at his villa after leaving Tanah Lot that night several months earlier—encouraged a new wave of thinking about his time in Bali. For the most part, he had just treated it like a weekend road trip. A few coworkers had asked for the obligatory key chain and fridge magnet souvenirs, while others asked for his thoughts on traveling in Bali. Adrian offered a few comments to these queries, but there was little point in going into any detail. Most people he knew had already been to Bali at least once. Some even made it a habit to go annually. There was nothing new he could offer about his experiences that would be of any interest to the more seasoned travelers.

  He hadn’t once thought about returning to Bali since coming home. He was immune to the travel bug. Any outings he did take from Brisbane were simply locations that could be reached in a car in a single day, including the return trip back home. Gas prices were high after all, and most of the people he had taken road trips with in the past were not usually interested in doing short-hop travels.

  This made it all the more strange when he started to calculate how long it would take to drive to Rockhampton. He estimated it would take about eight hours of driving straight. Flying was ridiculously expensive, seeing that Rockhampton’s airport was proportionately as pathetic as the town was. The good side of flying, Adrian reasoned, was that the entirety of Rockhampton was likely small enough to walk around on foot. No car needed.

  The idea of driving upstate just for a guy seemed ludicrous. Adrian had had plenty of guys in Brisbane. Sure, some weekend nights were devoid of anyone of interest, but he didn’t believe for a second Rockhampton would be any better. He had a stable job. It wouldn’t take him anywhere in life, and there was no chance for advancement, but it covered his cost of living adequately enough. That was something many people took for granted.

  What would he get if he visited Rockhampton for a few days? His boss was happy he had taken that week off to travel to Bali, but he probably wouldn’t appreciate a request to take yet another vacation. That would be pushing his generosity. And if he didn’t visit but actually moved there? Left urban life behind? Took a leap of faith for a guy who he might have fallen in love with after getting lucky while on a Bali vacation?

  Ridiculous.

  Adrian remembered the sacrifices he had made for his first so-called boyfriend. He would have moved across the country for him if that was what he needed to do. That was love. That was commitment. That was sacrifice—even if it wouldn’t have been mutual. But who was Ketut to warrant such behavior? Adrian worried that any chance he had with forming a relationship—or at least a mutual understanding—with Ketut had been blown that last night in Bali. Adrian had turned cold and distant. The motorbike ride home was largely quiet. There were no fantasies of taking Ketut right there on the bike as he had planned earlier that day. Adrian just wanted to be done with Ketut’s forward questioning. He had been vulnerable that night and very uncomfortable.

  He did give credit where credit was due, though. Not once did Ketut try to belittle him when he’d opened up. Ketut listened when Adrian shared his feelings, his excitement, and even his frustration. Adrian’s first boyfriend had been completely indifferent to his feelings after he decided he was going to move on. The way Ketut talked about moving on, though, did not seem to exclude Adrian. It just meant a new level of commitment. One that Adrian had not made since his first attempt at a relationship. Ketut had left that possibility open; Adrian was the one to walk away from it.

  Adrian’s stomach started to churn. Doubt. Uncertainty. He hated when he felt like that, as it usually meant he needed to do something he was uncomfortable doing. Questions pummeled his thoughts as he tried to focus on the television as the news paused for a commercial break.

  What if he doesn’t want to see me? What if he has a boyfriend already? What if I can’t find him? What if I scare the shit out of him for going halfway across the state to hunt him down?

  X

  “THANKS FOR meeting up with me on such short notice.”

  As usual, 3 Beans already had a few customers at 6:00 a.m. Adrian had positioned himself at the same table he and Mason had sat at while Mason lamented over his boy troubles. Here, for the first time, though, the tables were tur
ned.

  “If you call me at five in the morning saying you need to talk… and you aren’t drunk… then I know I have a responsibility to be here. You were so cryptic on the phone. I worried the whole drive down here. Trying to prepare for what to say depending on what was so important to call me in the middle of the night. You don’t have HIV, do you?”

  “Christ, Mason! No, I don’t have HIV.”

  “When was the last time you were checked?”

  Adrian exhaled deeply.

  “Alright, mate. I’m sorry. So what is wrong?”

  Adrian shook his head, not knowing where or how to start. “So, how’s Joe?”

  “He’s fine. Sleeping. C’mon, mate. Just tell me.”

  “I met someone.”

  “And?”

  Adrian shifted uncomfortably. He had taken a sip or two of his coffee before Mason arrived, but he wasn’t in the mood to drink any more. It sat in front of him nearly cold.

  “And I like him. A lot.”

  Saying this gave Adrian a surge of adrenaline. He felt vulnerable and exposed. But he also felt liberated. He was learning to be comfortable in taking ownership of his feelings and not simply brushing them aside.

  “You’ve got a boyfriend? Good for you, mate. But couldn’t that’ve waited till at least 8:00 a.m. maybe? Are you gonna drink that?”

  Adrian pushed his coffee over to Mason. “I’m sorry for calling so late. Or early. Or whatever it is. I just don’t know what to do. I needed someone to talk to.”

  “Okay, well, I’m here now. So talk. Start with the basics, though. Catch me up.” Mason raised his voice, acting cutesy. “What’s his name? How’d you meet?”

  “His name is Ketut. We met in….”

  “What? Wait, what was it?”

  “Ketut.”

  “What kind of name is that?”

  “Balinese, I guess. That’s where we met.”

  “You went to Bali?”