Tapping out

by Nikki Ash

  “Marco, your entire life is here in California.”

  That’s where she’s wrong, so damn wrong. I get off the couch and close the space between us, pushing a wayward hair that’s escaped from her pony tail. “No, Bella, my entire life is apparently moving to Las Vegas.”

  Bella looks at me dumbfounded but before she can open her mouth, she looks over her shoulder, her eyes widening and she takes a step back from me.

  “What are you doing here?” the deep voice booms. Knowing who’s voice it is before I even turn around, I take a deep breath preparing for the fight that is going to take place.

  “Dad, calm down.” Bella walks up to her dad and gives him a hug. “Marco helped me with Micaela last night.”

  “I told you we could have stayed.” Cooper glares at me like I’m the devil and I don’t blame him.

  “It’s fine. The registrar says if all goes well I will be released today. You guys needed your sleep.”

  “And you’re moving back with us. Did you ask how soon Micaela can be cleared to fly? Are you staying at your apartment until then?” Cooper speaks like I’m not even in the room and I know I need to earn back his respect, so I refrain from arguing with him.

  “I-I don’t know what I’m doing,” Bella says softly, suddenly unsure of herself.

  “Yes, you do,” I speak up. “We’re moving to Las Vegas.”

  “What the fuck do you mean ‘we are’?” Cooper steps into my personal space.

  “Marco, you can’t do that. You can’t just up and move. And I told you, you can visit her any time,” Bella insists.

  “Where Bella and Micaela go, I go. It’s that simple,” I say calmly to her dad. Then I turn to Bella and say, “I have absolutely nothing keeping me here. I have a condo I haven’t lived in, in over three months, which I can cancel the lease on. We can find a three-bedroom place near your parents, near the gym. I know I don’t have the right to ask anything of you but I am asking you anyway for this chance. I don’t want to see my daughter on weekends or holidays. Give me a chance. Give us a chance. Please.”

  “Wait a fucking second. You can’t be considering this, Bella. You can’t even trust this guy.” Then he turns to me. “You aren’t welcome anywhere near my daughter or granddaughter.”

  Liz, thankfully jumps in. “Liam Cooper.” Oh shit! She used his first name. “You missed out on four years of raising our daughter and you say all the time it’s your biggest regret, and you’re going to try to stop another man from taking responsibility. What is wrong with you?”

  Cooper sucks in his lip, trying to keep his mouth shut, not wanting to upset his wife further while Bella comes closer to me. “Giving you a chance as a father and giving us a chance are two completely separate conversations. They can't go hand in hand. We can raise a baby together without being together and we shouldn't be together just because we share a child.”

  “I want both.” And it feels damn good to say that out loud. I have loved this woman for years and my running from her thinking I was doing the right thing only hurt the both of us. I’m done running.

  Bella looks me right in my eyes, assessing me, maybe trying to see if I mean what I say. “How about we start with the first one and maybe in time we can consider the second one.”

  “Ok, I’ll take it.”

  “So, that’s it?” Cooper asks Bella. “Just like that you’re letting him into your daughter’s life? Your life?”

  “I went four years without you. You didn’t get to hold me in the hospital or bring me home. You missed my first steps and my first words.”

  “Bella…” Cooper chokes out her name.

  “No, I know it was out of your control. I know you and Mom regret not exchanging numbers the weekend you met. But the fact is, we missed out on a lot and not by our choice. I’m not going to do that to Marco. Do I trust him? No. Trust is earned, not given.” She raises an eyebrow at me. “But if he wants to move back to Vegas with me and be in our daughter’s life, I’m not going to stop him.”

  “It’s not the same thing, Bella. He said he didn’t want the baby.”

  “No, he said he didn’t want a baby. He didn’t know my baby was his, and you might be mad at Marco right now, but you know the person he was before. You loved him like he was your own son. If I messed up, if I turned to drugs and lashed out, would you disown me too?”

  Cooper doesn’t say anything. He just shakes his head, his eyes bloodshot like he’s holding back tears and I know exactly how he feels, because the large lump in my throat tells me I feel pretty much the same thing. Bella is the youngest one here, yet in this moment she is probably the wisest. She is also the most forgiving. She could easily push me away, make shit hard on me, and I would deserve it. I told her she was dead to me for crying out loud. I told her she should abort her own fucking kid! But instead, she opens her heart up and lets anyone and everyone in, and tries to see the best of everyone in every damn situation.

  Cooper gives Bella a hug and tells her he loves her. While they are embracing, the pediatrician comes in. “Good afternoon, I’m Dr. Weisberg. I’m just going to check on baby” —He flips through his chart— “Michaels. And if all is well, you will both be discharged today.”

  “Baby Michaels?” Cooper asks Bella.

  “Yes, I gave her Marco’s last name, the same way mom gave me yours once she knew what it was.”

  “Doctor, how soon can the baby travel via private plane?”

  “Normally, the recommendation to fly is two months to give the babies time to build up their immune systems but by private plane, there’s no reason she can’t fly immediately. Just make sure to keep her away from others at the airport.”

  “Thank you,” Cooper says, then he pulls out his phone and puts it to his ear. After a few seconds, he says, “I’m going to need the plane in San Diego… yes, tonight… thank you.”

  “Dad, I can’t just leave tonight! I still need to get my stuff from the apartment.”

  “I can take you over there after you get out. We can pack what you need and have the rest shipped. I’m going to do the same for my stuff,” I point out.

  “I don’t think us going to the apartment together is a good idea,” Bella responds.

  “I’ll go,” her dad says. “While you are waiting to be discharged I’ll go by the apartment. Text Tristan and let him know. I’ll be back after it’s all taken care of and we will fly out tonight.”

  “We need to find a place,” Bella says suddenly looking extremely overwhelmed.

  “Hey,” I murmur. “I’ll stay with my parents and you will stay with yours for the time being, and as soon as we find a place, we will move in and give Micaela a beautiful home.”

  Bella nods. “Ok.”

  Micaela cries out and we all turn to look at her. The doctor is checking her out and Bella rushes over to make sure she’s ok.

  “Micaela is doing very well. I just want you to make sure you give her exposure to the sunlight and follow up with whichever pediatrician for her. You will need to make an appointment to get her one week shots done.

  “Ok, I will call the pediatrician my mom used for me and my siblings.”

  “Very good. The nurse should be in shortly to give you your official discharge paperwork.” He shakes Bella’s hand then mine. “Congratulations.”

  “Thank you,” we both say and then he’s out the door.

  Twenty-One

  Bella

  Me: I know you asked for space and I promise I’m giving it to you. My dad needs to come by to get my stuff from the apartment. When would be a good time?

  I stare at the screen scared to death of what Tristan’s response will be—if he even responds at all. It’s insane how much has changed in the last seventy-two hours. I went in to give birth to my daughter with one guy claiming to be the father, only to have my entire world shaken and knocked around! And when I think of how Tristan must feel—I know in the long run, this is for the best but that doesn’t mean my heart isn’t hurting any less for my
best friend and what he must be going through, emotionally.

  Tristan: He can come by anytime.

  Tears prick my eyes when I read those five words. I know I shouldn’t have expected anything more but deep down I was hoping he would say something more. What? I have no clue. I just hate that I am about to move over three hundred miles away and we aren’t even on speaking terms.

  Me: Ok, thank you. And Tristan, I’m sorry… for everything.

  I probably shouldn’t have written that second half but I needed to say it one last time.

  Tristan: I know. Just give me time.

  Me: Ok.

  My eyes stay trained on our conversation hoping to see the bubbles bouncing, indicating he is texting back, until the nurse comes in and hands me, Micaela’s and my discharge papers. Then I put my phone away, take a deep breath, and prepare to start my new life.

  Twenty-Two

  Bella

  “It’s a one-story home in the same neighborhood your parents live in.” The realtor reads off the address and we agree to meet her there in fifteen minutes. At this point, I would agree to sign a lease to live in a cardboard box if it meant moving the heck out of my parents’ house. You know the saying, once you move out of your parents’ home you can’t ever move back? Well it’s true! Damn true! Listen to whoever tells it to you!

  It’s been one week since I have been back in my childhood room under my parents’ roof and if I don’t get out of here soon, I just might kill my father. His hovering and protectiveness has grown to an entirely new level since he found out Marco is the father of Micaela. Every time I’m texting, he’s looking over my shoulder. He’s asked— no, suggested on numerous occasions I stay living here. He’s even asked me multiple times if I’m planning to have sex with Marco in the future! And when Marco and I decided to have dinner with his parents after Micaela’s checkup, he texted me thirty times asking me when I would be home.

  Oh! And don’t get me started on the night Marco came over to visit with our daughter and we fell asleep on the couch…with our clothes on…and our baby in between us. You would think we were buck-naked and screwing right there in my parents’ living room, the way he yelled. He not only woke up Micaela but he woke up my brother and sister who thought something was wrong.

  Like I said, I need to move out. I may have only been out from under his roof for two years but it was long enough that my wings cannot go back to being clipped. I need to soar on my own, especially if I want to keep the good relationship I have with my father.

  Marco insisted on picking me up to check out the house since our cars haven’t been shipped back over yet, and I’m not supposed to drive for a couple of weeks after having a C-section. He still has his car here for when he visits his parents. Since he said the home we are looking at is close by, I left Micaela with my mom.

  “Marco, these homes are expensive. I thought we were looking at apartments.”

  “Please don’t worry about the money.” Marco gives me a look. We have argued over several of the apartments we have seen. I insisted on finding the places after Marco took us to see a penthouse condo on the top floor of downtown Vegas. Unfortunately, the ones I have found are so tiny, yet so expensive.

  I never realized how much it costs to live in Vegas, and with me going to school full time, no longer on scholarship, there’s only so much I can contribute. I have my trust fund my dad set up for me years ago from when my grandfather died, but I am using it to go to school and would like to save whatever is left of it for the future. I’m planning to speak to my dad about maybe hiring me at the gym during the days and hours I’m not in school or training.

  “I need to worry because I’m going to be contributing and I would rather not dip into my trust fund.” Marco just shakes his head. We pull up to the house and I see it’s only one street over from my parents’ house. It’s one of the smaller homes in the neighborhood but it’s beautiful. It is all brick and stone and has a huge white privacy fence. There’s no way we can afford this place.

  Instead of arguing with Marco, I let the realtor show us around. It has three bedrooms, a den, a living room and family room, an off the kitchen dining room, and a huge back patio. The owners even built an outdoor kitchen out there. I can’t even imagine how much the rent is for the place.

  “What do you think?” Marco asks.

  “I think we should discuss this alone.” I glance toward the realtor not wanting to have this conversation in front of her.

  “How about I let you two speak and I will wait for you outside?” She smiles brightly, leaving without waiting for an answer.

  “Ok, so what do you think?” Marco asks again.

  “I think we are both currently unemployed. I think I am a fulltime student, no longer on a scholarship. I think there’s no way we can afford this place unless I use the money my dad put away for me. Have you spoken to the UFC about your contract?”

  Marco’s eyebrows furrow. “Bella, you are aware up until last year I spent the last eight years fighting in the UFC, right? I am completely undefeated and currently hold the championship belt. Until I was injured I was making enough from my sponsorships alone to afford this place.”

  “Thanks for the recap,” I say dryly.

  Marco chuckles. “I’m not trying to rub it in your face, Belles. One day you will be a fucking champion. You will have sponsors begging you to sign with them. My point is those fights add up, and since I moved to California, I lived with my cousin Mathias who I split the bills with. Then I rented my own place but was in rehab for most of the lease. I have plenty of money saved up and I don’t expect you to—or want you to—use the money your dad put away for you. What I need to know is if you like this place. Can you see yourself raising our daughter here?”

  “Yes,” I blurt out.

  “Ok, then.” Marco walks out the front door, with me trailing behind him. “We will take it,” he says to the realtor.

  “Perfect! Since you are preapproved we can go over the down payment and all the other specifics. I think we can probably get the closing date set to the end of next month.”

  Most of what she says goes over my head but I do understand ‘tend of next month’. Six more weeks of living under my dad’s roof. Ugh!

  “What’s wrong?” Marco asks sounding concerned.

  “Huh?”

  “You made an ‘ugh’ sound. Is this house not what you want?” Hmm… I must have said that last part out loud.

  “No, it is! It’s living under my dad’s roof for the next six weeks that I don’t want.” And even I can hear the whininess in my voice. Marco laughs. Laughs! Because he’s living with Hayley and Caleb who couldn’t care less what their son does, meanwhile my dad thinks in four weeks I’ll be turning twelve instead of twenty-one.

  “Since I am planning to pay cash for the house and the pre-walkthrough has been done, can you please ask the owners, if they would mind us moving in early, like as soon as possible, since it’s empty anyway.”

  “Cash?” The realtor and I say in unison.

  “Wait, Marco! Are we renting or buying this place?”

  “Buying. My dad looked at the price and details before we came to check it out. He said it will make a great investment for me.”

  “I’ll call them right now!” The realtor pulls out her phone and walks a few feet away from us to call the owners. After a few minutes, she comes back with a huge smile on her face. “We are good to go.” She hands Marco the keys. “Let’s go to the office now to sign the appropriate paperwork and do the good faith deposit.”

  “Sounds perfect!” Marco takes the keys from her then leans in close to my ear and says, “Welcome home, Belles,” which causes chills to spread throughout my body, making me visually shake. Marco sees my reaction and gives me a knowing smirk.

  Twenty-Three

  Marco

  It’s been four weeks since Bella, Micaela, and I have moved into our new home. Unfortunately, to Bella’s dismay, having keys to the place didn’t mean moving
in immediately. Not unless she wanted to sleep on the floor, and when I pointed that out, I think she almost considered it.

  After taking measurements, we went shopping for furniture. My stuff came in and we used what we wanted and got rid of what we didn’t want. When Bella saw what I had purchased for Micaela back in San Diego being brought into the house she nearly lost it.

  “M-Marco…what is all that stuff?” Bella watched, with eyes as wide as saucers, as the delivery people brought in all the furniture and accessories I purchased the day after Micaela was born.

  “I told you I wanted you and Micaela to live with me. I bought it all when she was born.”

  “Oh, my God! Between my stuff and yours—what are we going to do with it all?”

  “Well, she will need stuff at your parents’ place as well as my parents’ for when they watch her or we visit, so we will sort it all out and see what can go where.”

  She followed the guys up the stairs. “This stuff is beautiful. I had no idea.” Tears pricked her eyes and she threw herself into my arms. At first, I was shocked to have her in my arms, but quickly I reciprocated and enjoyed the moment. When she realized what she did, she tensed and quickly backed up, the moment quickly coming to an end.

  The next day all of Bella’s stuff came in, and thankfully Liz and my mom came over to help her go through it all. With her having had surgery only a few short weeks prior, I didn’t want her lifting anything. After many hours, we got it all situated and officially moved in the following week.

  Since moving in, Bella and I have fallen into a comfortable routine. She has her own room (she insisted and her dad glared and I gave in) and sleeps in it, but many nights we also fall asleep on the couch. Our days usually consist of spending time with Micaela, taking her for walks, visiting our parents, and occasionally visiting the gym as well as visiting the rec center. I put in for a new sponsor since I would be living here and met with him a few days after we arrived.