"Look, I'm sure it has to do with all this" I say, trying to calm him down. When I check again, the mud is nothing but a distant memory. "You see? I'm alright." It feels so weird to be talking to him in this way, that's the tone he has been using with me for the past days, it must have been exhausting for him.
Jay looks at me, not convinced at all and ready to do anything for me.
I get up and get ready to leave. I try my best to ignore Jay's worrying looks and walk out the room with nothing more than a shy waving.
He is not out waiting for me. I'm glad he decided to stay in, or maybe just not to follow me. I need some time on my own. I put on my headphones and start walking down to the university. I don't really want to sit for an hour and a half listening to Constance's continuous talking about mythology, but I know that if I stay home I will spend the whole day thinking about yesterday, and the dream.
I turn my iPod on, and with it I can make my fears and thoughts disappear for a while. Thank you New Jersey, it's my first thought when Bruce Springsteen fills my head, his music makes me walk faster and takes my mind away from the last hours.
When I walk into the class Constance is already there, sitting on her table, and clearly waiting for me.
"I hear yesterday didn't turn out to be exceptional."
"It appears to be the case, yes" I say trying to imitate her voice. I don't succeed, but I'm glad I dared to speak to her like that.
"Is there any particular reason for the task to be so difficult to fulfill?" I want to throw a chair right to her face.
"Focus on the class, will you?" I'm furious again, I don't think I have been so constantly irritable in my life. Ever since I discovered Elizabeth's true nature, keeping my temper is becoming more and more difficult.
Why does Constance talk like that? Who does she think she is? I might have to die in a couple of months, without being able to do anything to stop it, but that certainly doesn't give her the right to treat me as something you could pick up at a grocery store.
"This conversation is not yet finished."
I look at her, and smile. It is finished
Everyone starts to sit on their chairs, and Constance looks at me with a dangerous look, I may regret this encounter in a matter of days, or minutes even. But right now, I feel like I have achieved something. I won a fight.
"I hope that all your essays are on my desk by the end of the class" Constance is still looking at me, and I start to feel the sweat coming down my neck. The essay is not due until the last day of class. What is she doing? I hear some murmuring. Everyone in the class, including Ingrid, takes out some papers from their bags. "I understand, Mr. Stills, you have not done your essay" she clicks her tongue.
"The essay was due the last day of class• I whisper
"Sorry my dear, what was that?" she comes closer and puts her hand over her ear, pretending she didn't hear me.
I repeat my exact same words.
"Oh but you are wrong, Mr. Stills, again" she looks around "when was the due date for the essay?" She is addressing the whole classroom.
"Today" everyone sounds like if they were under some sort of spell, and then I remember a particular line from the book about the Immortals and the Leaders.
Persuasion can be a gift, but be aware that it might also be a terrible weapon to turn everyone against an individual.
Then her last words repeat on my head again; —you are wrong, again—. She is obviously referring to me trying to put an end to our conversation. I didn't win that battle, she was only playing dead.
Given the circumstances, I don't want to remain here much longer so I pick all my stuff and walk out of the classroom, before I leave I can hear her saying one last thing.
"Dear students, remember that failure is the worst punishment of all, Mr. Stills here just learned that. I hope from now on everyone remembers this moment."
I will remember it, I'm sure of it. I will never forget her sadistic smile, and Ingrid's laughter at me.
All I want to do is leave and go home, but Jay did not show up at class today so it means he is there, I don't want to talk to anyone. The only thing I can think of is going to my next class.
It's too early to go in so I wait sitting on a bench right next to the door. Some girls come around and put up a poster about some party. They leave and since I have nothing else to do, I give it a quick look. There's a university party, they want to celebrate Christmas even though it is three weeks away, well done girls. I instantly realize that I will be on my bed that night, because I am the only person in the planet stupid enough to meet only three people my own age during my first year of university: an Immortal who is bond to take my soul, a keeper that has to make sure it happens, and a free spirit of nature that lives her life to a limit beyond my reasoning and that just turned against me. Well done, Alex.
"Hey" There she is, the soul stealer, talking in a shy voice. I look to the other side, even the thought of keeping my eyes on her kills me.
"Go away" I know that it is so cliché to tell her that but actually it's all I want.
"I can't."
I avoid looking at her but I want to. I want to tell her how much I hate her, and Jay, and Constance for everything they are doing. But that isn't true, not about Jay and Her. Still, looking at Elizabeth is something I am not prepared to do right now.
"Why not?" my harsh voice emphasizes my mood.
"I have class too."
Oh, of course. Now I don't know what to say, and her voice is sweet again, how can she do that? I don't care right now. I need to keep my distance, so I randomly stand up and go straight to a coffee machine that is nearby. I put some money in the slot and then I choose randomly, I don't want anything but I can't be that close to her. A beep tells me that my coffee is ready. I take it out and go back to the bench, she is still here, fixing her green eyes on me. I don't look at her, and doing my best to keep my face from showing any emotion, I drink.
Bad move.
This must be the most terrible coffee I have ever had. I just can't describe how bad it tastes, but apparently my face does it perfectly for me. I realize I'm doing funny faces when I hear Elizabeth laughing right next to me. I try to be serious again and take small sips. It's terrible but it's the only thing that keeps me from talking or looking at her.
Finally, the door opens and I can get into the class. She follows me in and sits right next to me, again. I look straight, and don't even move.
The class is less entertaining that I remembered it, like if it had been ages since I last was here, although many things have changed since then. I am completely unable to concentrate, because to my own regret, the only thing I can think of is how last night turned out. At least now the teacher does not humiliate me in front of everyone, and thankfully Elizabeth has not tried to talk to me.
When the time comes, I walk out and try not to look back. I know that Elizabeth is right behind me, I can feel her. But I won't turn, I walk away and with my music as my only partner, I walk back home.
But someone puts a hand on my shoulder and makes me stop.
"A word, Mr. Stills" it's Constance.
"What?" I really don't want to talk to her again today.
"Walk with me" She takes me to her office. There's no one in. "Jay tells me that your dreams are somewhat becoming real when you wake up."
I nod, not looking at her.
"That means that we are on the right track, you will have to work harder of course, but it seems like we will succeed."
That's enough.
"Stop this, right now!" I scream. She looks at me, surprised. "It's my life we are talking about, not some business, stop talking about how wonderful it is that your dear immortal Elizabeth will successfully go past her birthday. I won't do it, you know? How can you even think that someone will turn in their own life, just like that?"
She looks at me for a second. Then she puts her hand back on my shoulder and smiles.
"I told you I would take personal care of you if Eliz
abeth was to fail her fate. Imagine what your poor mother would go through, or your grandfather."
"Keep them out of this."
"You do it" she smiles again. "I'm sure you will be a good, loving son."
I say nothing, I can't really say much.
"We are done talking then. Don't mind the dreams, it's just normal. It will get worse as the day approaches. Now, get out."
She forces myself out of her office. I stand still on the empty corridor for a couple of minutes. She has made herself clear, if I don't do it, my family will pay for it, that's something I can't allow to happen.
When I accept that there is no way out from this, I turn and walk home. This time, nothing stops me.
Jay is waiting for me, standing right where I left him.
"So?"
"What?" I feel ambushed.
"What happened?"
"Jay, I went to class and came back. That's all. I got stuff to do" I know that I should be nicer to him but seeing him makes me think about Elizabeth joking about my death, and about everything Constance just said. It makes me angry and very uncomfortable.
He looks surprised and hurt, I know that I should apologize, but I don't. Instead, I go straight to my desk.
"Can I stay or shall I leave?" he asks.
"Do whatever you want Jay" I'm so sorry Jay, really sorry, but the words come out of my mouth and I can't stop them.
I don't see him, but I know he remains there for a couple of minutes and then he vanishes. This time he does not appear on the street waiting for me, as I am used to. He is just gone.
I take a long moment to breathe. This is too hard to handle. I open my laptop, hoping to find something that will make me think about anything but this. I check my email inbox and I have two unread emails. Both from «[email protected]» I click it.
Dear Alex,
This is really difficult for us to understand. I created an email account because I'm told that it's cheaper than phoning. How are you?
Mom.
I can't avoid laughing for a couple of minutes. That's the first time she uses a computer without my help. I think about her typing with her clumsy fingers to write those two lines, and I can't avoid remembering everything she has ever done for me. If I ever doubted about what I must do, now it's clear for me; she will suffer no more.
Hey Mom,
It's not cheaper, it's free. Are you using my computer? Be careful with it. How are you guys doing? Is grandpa doing alright? I can't wait to see you.
I miss you both,
Alex
Then I click on the other unread email, which shows a great increase in experience because it has some files attached. The email doesn't say much, just that they miss me and that they bought a new TV because the old one broke down. Then I look at the files attached, and I start laughing again. My dear mother has had a ceremony to show everyone in our neighborhood the Super Bowl tickets, she took pictures posing with them, and as far as I can see, everyone was invited to join the party. I wish that looking great on a picture holding two tickets was the worst of my nightmares.
I don't reply to that email, but I download the picture of my mother and look at it for some minutes. I miss her, but as everyone always says, you never stop needing your mum, so I guess that's normal. I look at the emails again and I feel a smile on my face.
Thanks mom.
A knock on the door brings me back to reality. I stand up and suddenly I remember that Jay isn't here. I walk to the door and before I can open it, there's another knock.
When I open it I see a very beautiful woman, wearing a grey jacket, black trousers and dark glasses. She is smiling but she looks very intimidating.
"Hi, um, hello" I say, like if I had forgotten how to talk.
"Hello" she says with a perfectly British accent. "I'm Jessica's mother. You must be the American student."
"Jessica?" I hope it doesn't sound disrespectful, but I have no idea of who that is.
She smiles and hands me a paper.
"Yes, she lives right next door to you. We recently moved here and I am opening a pub near the university, we hope for it to be a great family business. Maybe you have seen her putting on some advertising around the university?"
The Christmas party girl. The suitcase girl that plays the violin, I remember now.
"Oh yes, yes."
"So, I just came here to invite everyone over for the Christmas party. Take the flyer, first round will be on the house. "
"Oh, thanks" I don't know what I should say "But um… I really don't think I will be going, sorry" I'm certainly not in the mood for any parties.
"Just think about it, I wouldn't want to force my costumers to come!" that must be the worst joke I've heard in my life. Well no, the worst was way worse than that, and it came from Elizabeth, whom I actually care about.
She leaves with the same smile on her face. She walks by the door next to me and two seconds later, she gets into the elevator. Probably she went to visit her daughter before she came here. After all, mine is the last room on the corridor and probably she only came here out of pity.
I am back on my chair. I keep looking around and, strangely enough, I realize I miss Jay. My eyes come across the book I bought for the essay. It is still on my bed table. I don't have anything else to do for today, not even the stupid essay, so I sit down on my bed and take the book. I turn the pages until I get to the index and I find what I'm looking for faster than I expected, The Keepers.
CHAPTER 15
Just like everyone needs someone in their life, Immortals need a Keeper in theirs. An Immortal soul is perhaps one of the most powerful elements in our world, and therefore it has to be protected until it reaches the final step of its growth. However, it is the duty of the Keeper to ensure the Immortal's survival. They are born at the exact same moment, they belong together, and so, when the soul is mature, they become one again, and the Keeper, is no more.
Protection of the Immortal soul is the only reason for the Keeper's existence, especially during the last steps of the soul's millennia, when The Mortal Fringe is more dangerous than ever.
Keepers are known for having great intellect and being quick thinkers. It is usual for a Keeper to act compulsively, for it is not in their nature to give time to thinking, they are doers.
Strength, valor, honesty, and loyalty are essential in any Keeper, and there is no doubt that should their protégée be in danger, they would surrender their own life to prevent the Immortal soul from being harmed, or destroyed.
Their physical appearance usually changes when the Millennia of their Immortal protégée approaches, that is thought to happen as a way of protection towards the importance of the occasion.
As powerful as they can be, a Keeper is no different from a mortal human when they are not near their protégée for only the gift of long life persist in such event. Just like Immortals and Leaders, their psychic abilities, from mind reading to persuasion are their most dangerous weapon, for if you control someone's mind, you can control everything.
I put the book down and I realize that Jay is still not here. I have some questions I would like to ask.
Is he really part of Elizabeth?
What is all that about a Physical change?
What is The Mortal Fringe?
I don't want to think today, not anymore. I change my clothes and put on something comfortable, then I put my headphones on again, and I leave the room with my music already taking my thoughts away.
Running used to relax me back home, now I only look around and I keep hoping that I won't bump into Elizabeth. Ever since I woke up this morning I feel lonelier than ever, there is no doubt that some things are not meant to change; I was alone when I came, and here I am again, alone. Deep inside, I really think I deserve this.
I am jogging again, something that I hadn't done since the accident, and my music is as loud as possible. I can't even hear the woman shouting out loud standing right next to me, I only see her mouthing.
Th
en, a familiar song plays.
We'd go down to the river
And into the river we'd dive
Oh down to the river we'd ride
That was playing that day, the day. I have been trying to keep the thought away, but those lines bring the memory back, and I can see the lights, hear the screams, and feel what I felt.
I have to stop and breathe. My heart is beating too fast and I think I will fall down. I put my back against a wall and bring my hands up to my head. I slowly sit down and put my head between my legs. I usually come back to reality when I do this. Everything is blurry, this had not happened since mid-summer. I need to relax. I can't hear a thing, not even the loud music that I know I'm listening to.
Someone puts a hand on my shoulder, I look up.
"You keep getting yourself in trouble."
"Jay" I say with a trembling voice.
"Yeah, am I welcome now?" he seems offended. I don't blame him.
I nod, I don't think I could manage to talk right now, I don't feel my mouth and my tongue feels numb.
Jay helps me stand up. He puts his arm around me and slowly walks me back home.
"You obviously can't go out on your own" the harsh voice is gone. He is joking, my friend is back for me.
I try to smile but I can't, the best I can do is fixing my eyes on my feet and make sure that I keep on walking.
There's people looking at me, and I can almost hear the stupid talking. Most of them think I'm drunk. It's 5 p.m. Anyway, I'd prefer to be drunk rather than being like this.
When we finally get to our room, Jay makes me sit on my desk chair and gives me some water. I feel better, but I'm still dizzy and my eyes can't properly make out the images in front of me.
"Will you tell me what happened?"
"Nothing, I had an anxiety attack" It's not a lie, but I don't want to go back to it, not to that feeling, not to that memory. So, I manipulate the truth, "all this is too hard to handle. I don't know if I can manage it for much more."
That isn't a lie either.
Fortunately, I can feel my tongue again and I can talk, but I know that my voice doesn't sound as clear as it usually does. Jay looks at me, he is serious.
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