"Whenever you want to tell me about it, I'll be right here."
"I just told you."
"Unfortunately for you, I'm 982 years older than you and I know when someone is lying."
There it is; another thing to add to the description of the Keepers in the book.
The book.
Jay looks at it, it is on my bed, opened right where I left it. I can see the look on his face, and I don't know if he is glad because I wanted to know more about him, or just disappointed.
"Next time, you should just ask me right away.”
"You were not here."
"If I'm not mistaken, someone sent me away."
Thanks, I thought we might have been over that.
"Is all that true?" I'm trying to give more importance to his history than to what happened earlier today.
He gives the book a quick read.
"Yeah, mostly, but whoever wrote this forgot to mention how well we look" he closes the book and puts it back on my night table. "Who wrote this anyway?"
"Someone named Barbra Harris."
A strange look crosses his face. I mutter something, but Jay isn't listening, he looks at me and I know that the book isn't important anymore.
"So, are you going to tell me what happened?"
"I can't, sorry" And that's the most honest answer I have ever given to him.
"Anything interesting today?"
"Well, someone came by, they are opening this pub and they were handing in some invitations. There's a Christmas party or something going on."
"I meant with Constance, Alex."
Of course he did.
"No, nothing interesting."
"That's not what I heard. Are you ever going to talk to Elizabeth again, she is really sorry."
"Sorry, I'm tired."
I take off my clothes and get into my bed, there's still daylight but I don't want to keep on talking about this, and I know he won't leave it. I close my eyes and try to sleep.
I remember that I wanted to ask him something from the book, but I won't do it now. I need him to understand that talking to me about Elizabeth and Constance as if they were helping me is neither fair, nor adequate.
I close my eyes, and I'm not in my room anymore.
There's hundreds of voices in my head, I hear none of them clearly. The only word I can understand is «her», and the only thing I can see is the vast black void in front of me. Suddenly there's light, and I'm again back on the wet ground. The voices disappear, and the green eyes are back. They are coming towards me. They are getting closer and closer and I can't move. I try to push myself with my hands and stand up, this is the first time I feel conscious in the dream. I am almost up but I can't run, the eyes are too close. I can make out a shadow. I try to scream to the top of my lungs but I'm voiceless.
Someone is right in front of me, I always thought it was her, Elizabeth, but the shadow is too tall to be her. Something throws me back to the ground and the voices come back. My back is wet and I am terrified. The green eyes are right over me and when they fix on my eyes I feel my life abandoning me. I am dying again, my dream has killed me again.
Dead again.
I wake up and it's the middle of the night. Jay is sleeping. I'm breathing too fast and my dizziness has returned. I check my back, it's not wet and there's no mud over it.
I need the bathroom, I'm going to throw up. I think I have a fever. There is no mud on my body but I can feel the pain all over me.
When I'm done I wash my hands and wet my face. I look in the mirror, and what I see takes my breath away. If anything could kill me now, it would be this.
My eyes are green.
CHAPTER 16
The horror growing inside me is something I've never felt before. I am terrified, my whole body is shaking and I know I am about to black out. I have to put both my hands on the wall to keep me on my feet. Sweat is coming down my neck again. I can't breathe. I keep my eyes closed, this can't be happening.
For a moment, I think it might be from the dream, as was the mud and the wetness from past dreams. But when I force myself to open my eyes and look in the mirror again, they are still green, and no matter how hard I look or how much I want to think it's not real, it is.
I start crying, not intentionally, but all the emotions that I'm bearing all these days are now taking over me. I have been lying to myself all this time, I am not ready for this. I have not accepted it, how could I? There's rage in me, I feel it. It feels as if my blood was burning, and the only way to make it stop is hiding behind a terrifying grudge. I get into the shower and I start the water. That way if I sob the sound will remain here trapped within these four walls.
I feel the cold water on my body, but I don't care how cold it is, I wish I could freeze right here and never go on with this. My eyes are closed again and the sound of the running water silences my thoughts. I can't move, and even if I could, I wouldn't. What they have done to me it's beyond imaginable, I don't know what's happening, but it isn't good, and I know it's unstoppable.
"Alex? Are you ok?" Elizabeth's voice suddenly fills my mind.
I look around, but she isn't here, am I imagining her voice now too?
She repeats the question, but there is a worried tone to it.
"Where are you?" my voice is almost a silent whisper, but that's the best I can do.
"I'm home, Alex. But I heard you" her voice is so warm that I feel all my fears going away, but I bring myself back to reality. "You need to tell me what happened."
"Nothing, I just slipped in the shower" I know she will instantly know I'm lying.
Her voice is gone, and even though I don't feel its warmth, I'm glad I am alone again. I try to open my eyes, but before I do it, there's a figure right in front of me. She is here now.
"You didn't expect me to believe that, did you?" she is wearing a silk nightgown, she must be very worried.
I close my eyes as fast as I can so she can't see them, but apparently my face tells her that something is really wrong. I can hear how she walks in the shower and sits by my side. She stays there, right next to me, while the water keeps falling all over us.
My arms are around my knees, and I'm hiding my face because I don't want her to see me crying. I'm not weeping, it's just tears. I know it's nothing to be ashamed of, but I just can't take it any longer. I know that she understands what I'm going through because she could have tried to say something to make it look easier, but she doesn't, she is just there, with me. She moves, after some minutes, only to get the warm water running. I can't see her, but I know that she is looking at me, and I also know she is smiling.
"I'll be right here, Alex, right next to you."
All my life I have been waiting to share something with someone, and now that I feel like I have someone to fight for, I can't talk, nor move. But I am grateful, and even though I am in this situation because of her, I am happy that she is here with me.
I don't know how long it has been. The water has stopped running and my clothes are almost dry. Elizabeth is still here, I feel her body near mine and I hear her almost silent breathing. I keep my eyes shut, as I don't think I'm ready to know why this happened. I try to get on my feet, but spending the night sitting on the shower has its disadvantages. I can hardly move, and there isn't an inch in my body that doesn't hurt.
"Good morning" she whispers.
"Thank you" I get up, not looking at her. I open my eyes just to get a glimpse of where I'm going, and I leave the bathroom. When I get to my bed, she is sitting on it.
"Do you want me to walk with you?"
"No, it's ok, I'll just…" I point to the door and try to gesture the words "I'll go alone", I'm too uncomfortable. "Um…I need to change up, would you mind?" I've never sounded so shy in my life.
She stands up smiling and suddenly she is gone.
Jay is still sleeping, it's funny when you realize how much can go unnoticed over a sleeping night. I don't want to wake him, I put on some clothes, and I put on my su
nglasses to avoid seeing my eyes again, I leave my room, and today I don't feel like listening to any music. No music could make my thoughts disappear right now.
"Mr. Stills I am sure you are familiar with the prohibition of sunglasses inside my classroom." Constance has waited until the class was packed so she could humiliate me in front of as much people as possible. "Take them of this instant."
"I'm sorry, Ms. Adkins, I'm afraid I can't."
"Maybe I haven't made myself clear, Mr. Stills. You will do as I say, or else we shall have a word after class."
She is looking at me, and I have a feeling that everyone in the class is doing the same. It feels like if I had killed someone and everyone was pointing a «murderer» sign to my face. I hesitate for a moment.
"Alex don't make things worse, just do what she says" the whisper comes as unexpected as the news of my premature death came. I hear Ingrid's voice and I forget, for a moment, that she joined the laughter of the class the previous day.
I know that Constance will have answers to the green eyes, for sure. What I don't know is if I want to know them. I fill myself with valor and slowly rise both my hands and take the sunglasses off.
I will forever remember her going pale after seeing me.
"This class is over. Everyone out. Right now" She is almost screaming, and I know that «everyone» does not include me.
I see all my classmates leaving while Constance studies my face to the millimeter. Ingrid waves at me from the door and mouths something I can't understand.
"So, after all, you bonded" she says, being very proud of herself. "It seems that our final conversation did work after all."
"What are you talking about?"
She starts laughing, in a rather hysterical way.
"Green eyes are distinctive for our kind, boy" she grabs my face and opens my eyes with her fingers. "There's no stopping it now."
"But I don't understand.”
"Cheer up, you are finally worth something. You are Elizabeth's catalyst now, officially. I bet you can already communicate mentally" she looks at my expression as I blush, she then scrams of joy "Yes! I won't fail again, we will have to toast for that."
A toast for my own and sure death scene? I am getting used to her way of treating people, mere mortals, as she calls us. But I will never know how she can bear to look at me and say such things to my face.
"I will make sure you don't fail, Mr. Stills" She says, grabbing my face again with both hands with too much strength. She is not euphoric anymore, she is more like furious. "My Elizabeth is not going to fail this, young man. If you try something, something that could put her in the danger of becoming a Tartar. I will have you both killed."
The words hit me like nothing has ever hit me before. Kill us both?
I force myself away from her. I'm sweating again, and I can feel my body full of rage.
"Kill us both you say?" I am screaming. Suddenly all the windows in the class shut down, so does the door. We are completely isolated. I ignore it "You would kill her?"
"Yes" she says with no trace of hesitation “she is like a daughter to me. I love her. I will not let her go awry."
"A daughter! I see you know nothing about loving nor being a mother. You and your disgusting kind. You may think we mortals are worthless, but we will always have people to fight for, people we love."
"Did your stupid mother tell you that?" she jokes
Then my fury explodes. I jump right on her.
"Never insult my mother again, never! You have no idea of what she has gone through" I have both my hands around her neck.
And she is still smiling.
"Oh, but I do" she gasps.
I let go. And my body starts trembling again.
"I don't think you have been back on a car ever since, have you? Oh wait, yes, your mortal friend drove you to the airport. If you can call that a friend, of course."
I can't move.
"Who was it, Alexander? Do you remember what happened?"
"Stop" I whisper, but I am not asking, I am begging.
"Oh, but are you sure you don't remember?"
"Please" I shut my eyes again and try to breathe slowly.
I can hear her walking around me.
"You are no better than me" she whispers.
"Shut up!" I hit her as hard as I can and when she hits the floor I leave the classroom. I am not sorry.
I can't see clearly, I'm shaking, there's tears coming down my face, and the fury I feel inside me is beyond imaginable. I know now that she will stop at nothing.
I know now that she has condemned me.
The worst day is back, and with it are the memories of what turned my life into hell. I remember everything I was hiding from.
I can't get away, not this time.
CHAPTER 17
Hello mom,
I need to tell you that you were right about this, about all this, as always. I wasn't ready for it.
What I thought was going to be tough just turned out to be hell. Everything I tried to keep away from my mind is back. I should not have come here, running away is not as easy as I thought it was.
Officially, I am not going back, not for long at least. Whatever happens, I only wish I had been brave enough to stay back home and face what happened that day. But I didn't, I was too scared of it.
I hate myself for not trying harder. I keep thinking 'what would David tell me if he saw me right now?’ I still think he is here. Everything is back now, mom. I remember, and I will not forget this time, I can't.
I love you so much, and I need you to know that. If you ever understand what happened to me, I want you to know I did it for you.
I am sorry.
Alex. Possibly writing for the last time.
I write this on my notebook, because I know that once I'm dead, she will read it. Saying goodbye to my mother is possible the hardest thing I will ever have to do.
I have been in my room for days, ever since my last encounter with Constance. There's nothing for me out there, not right now. I am sure both Jay and Elizabeth know what happened, but none of them talk about it. Elizabeth talks to me from time to time, I'm not sure I want to see her, but I know she is keeping an eye on me.
I put my notebook down, and I turn to Jay. He is looking at me.
"Hey" he rises his hand as well.
I look at him and I can't stop the smile on my face.
"I think you had enough resting."
After a long while I manage to get out of my bed. I can't pretend I'm feeling better, but he is right.
"It's nice to see you up" Elizabeth's voice is in my head, she has not said much these days. I like hearing the softness of her voice.
"Elizabeth, this is a boys conversation" Jay is looking at me, but it feels weird, because he is not talking to me at all, he knows Elizabeth said something. "That's better".
Then I remember what I read on the book, about the Immortal and the Keeper, and it feels like a good idea to ask him, and get away from my thoughts for a couple of minutes.
"How did you know she talked to me?"
"Seriously, not only you read that instead of talking to me, but you don't read at all, do you?" he is faking an offended voice tone. "Elizabeth and I are basically brothers, as you would call it."
"But…"
"Yes, just like you, I am another part of her. There's nothing else to it."
"Are you ok with that?" I am more surprised than curious, it's obvious he hasn't given much thought to it.
"How couldn't I? She is my sister, she is the one chosen to be a God. I am the one that complements her. It's not that complicated."
Not that complicated? I really think that he has no clue of how hard it is for a mortal to process all that information.
"So it takes three souls to make one?"
"Yes, I guess you could say that", he says "are you up for a coffee?"
By the way he talks, I know that I should not try again to express my opinion about their society, he is so s
ure about it that I would most likely offend him.
"Well, but try to stay away from my mind, I want to be able to talk to her if I want to."
"Thanks” Elizabeth adds in my head
"Ok. But not today" he shakes my hand as if we had just signed a deal. He then gets up and puts on his clothes. "Come on, change up, you are leaving this room today."
But I don't want to, I want to stay in, I can't face open spaces today.
"Do what he says Alex, it will be good for you."
"She is right, hurry up, I'll be waiting outside" he vanishes before I can fight for my right to stay in.
"He is as stubborn as you are.”
"So I can see" For a moment I think I can feel Elizabeth's reaction, it's the first time I answer her thoughts with my own rather than talking.
I shower in a matter of minutes and before putting on my clothes I realize that Jay and Elizabeth managed to take my thoughts away, even if only for a couple of minutes, they did do it. I feel better, not much, but it's something. I go outside and Jay is waiting for me at the usual spot.
"You took your time."
"I guess that I would say that too, if I hadn't taken a shower and could simply disappear and go anywhere I liked."
"Touché."
He leads the way. We have been walking for about twenty minutes when I start to think that he has no idea of where we are going. Finally, he stops in front of a hidden bar that, unless you know it's there, you would totally walk by and miss it. We walk in.
I don't think I have ever been to a darker place in my whole life. All the tables are wooden made and I wouldn't be at all surprised if they were older than Jay himself. He sits down in a table next to the door, and so do I.
"Here we are" he says.
"This place is weird."
He laughs, then looks around and nods.
"There's a place like this in every city in the world. Our community is not particularly fond of spending hours surrounded by mortals."
"Well, you are not following tradition to the letter too well" I joke.
"Well, you are not just a mortal, are you? Besides, I've always enjoyed the company of the living. "
"So everyone in here is like you.”
The Mortal Fringe Page 8
