by Annie Walls
A soft, mirthless laugh escapes him. He runs a hand through his hair and mumbles, “I didn’t see that coming from a fucking mile away.
“Do you know what I’ve been through to keep you under the radar? You were this close to fucking that up.” He holds up his forefinger and thumb. Pointing to the laptop still making its way through sequences, he continues, “You are the exact kind of person the Coalition wants to send into the revolutionist compounds under pretense.” Counting on his fingers, he continues, “Young. Female. Resourceful. No ties to the current or former government or military.
“I suppose you know about the homemade birth-control that hasn’t been studied or tested in any great extent. They make it by the buckets in a lab for the sole purpose of keeping the population down and under control until there is control. I didn’t want you taking it because I wouldn’t take it myself. It’s true, I have helped the ladies here with it, as they made the decision to take it. Those who don’t use it know their cycles. I wasn’t lying to you about that.”
I stare at him as all of his words sink in. “I believe that’s my own choice. All of it. And you damn sure could have said something! Anything. But instead, I wasn’t told.” I squeeze his hand to make him meet my stare. “Those awful people wanted me to get pr-pregnant.” The thought of a pregnancy is such a vile idea. “You could have warned me.”
A hard burden crosses his face—a deep worry. “Look, do you trust me?” I nod once, even though my trust with him is flimsy at best. “I know it’s only a matter of time before the Coalition finds out about you, but I’m going to keep protecting you as long as I can.”
“I don’t think there’s a need to bother. Besides, I’m helping Mago. I have a feeling you already know about him.”
“A feeling?” he asks, his voice giving nothing away. I narrow my eyes at him. He sighs, “I don’t know much about him, but I do know he controls it the best he can to keep people from being harmed.”
“You knew what they were doing at the base.”
He shakes his head. “Not all of it. Not the vaccine. I’m not all-knowing if that’s what you’re thinking. I just told you about Arizona and how I feel about it. They keep secrets even from me. Only saying anything on a need-to-know basis. When I found out about Mago and reported him, I was told to leave him alone.”
“Did Reece tell you Mago thinks the vaccine isn’t real?”
“Yes, and I don’t know what to think about that until I make a run to Birmingham and do some digging around.”
Now would be a good time to mention Mago and recent events, but for some reason I feel I need to keep my dreams to myself.
“You’ll let me know what you find?”
“You’re supposed to be resting. Instead, you’re trying to crack open an electronic notebook that’ll probably lead nowhere.” He looks at the laptop with disdain. “You need a new one. Unless you have a program that can decipher shorthand code.”
I shoot him a glare for changing the subject. “There’s nothing wrong with that laptop. And no, I don’t. You think I’ll need one?”
“The revolutionists aren’t stupid. You think it’ll all be written out neat and wrapped in a bow?”
Even though this has already crossed my mind, I shrug. “Doesn’t hurt to give it a shot.”
His hands go into the air in surrender. “Fine!” His hand shoots out and grabs my wrist. I feel something slip onto it.
I twirl the bracelet around my wrist. It’s still warm from wherever he had it. A leather braided band with wood and silver beads woven through it. I feel my lips turn up. “My mom made it. Hobby of hers.”
I clear my throat so it won’t crack. “You told your mother about me.”
“Why wouldn’t I?” A flash of something passes in his eyes. “It’s just a bracelet, Kan. I’m not trying to pick up where we left off. I know it’s not like that for you.”
“It’s not like that for you, either,” I blurt.
Swallowing audibly, he stares at me. “What are you talking about? Of course I care about you.” There it is, which I know already. I know how it feels to be in love and have it returned.
“That’s not what I mean. I care about you, too. We’re not in love with each other.”
Letting out a laugh, he stands up. “Then I guess we know where we stand.”
I grab his wrist, looking up at him as turpentine reaches my nose. He must have been making arrows. “Wait. I want to thank you.” He eyes me, waiting for me to explain. “You were there for me. Listened to me. Made me laugh through a difficult transition that no one knew I was going through. You helped me move past things that were hard for me to get over, and I’ll never forget it. I think you deserve to have someone love you as much as you love them.”
He shakes his head, “That’s way more than I deserve.” I drop his arm, and he leaves without a backward glance.
*
With a heavy heart, I know it’s the right thing to let it go. Even after deceiving me, and the recent events overshadowing everything, he’ll always have a certain place in my heart, but he doesn’t hold it. I owe him a lot, and I don’t think he understands how much.
His news is the most shocking. I’m excited that people are living normal, happy lives. Going to work, having babies, mowing grass, getting their teeth cleaned. Well, I’m not sure about the latter, but it’s possible. They watch TV for crying out loud. Trying to soak this information into my brain is completely astounding. I almost agree with Julie about going. Almost. What if we took the people here at the community, there? Another possibility, but I’m with Mac. I want it here.
The main reason it worked in Arizona is because there aren’t any zombies, I assume. That’s what we have to do—get rid of the millions of zombies that horde all over the cold territories. It starts with Mago. He is the key to the people, the sick people, wanting to keep the zombies in place. It’s their way of controlling and keeping a body of government at bay. I have to admit, it works for them. I’m sure Guido is one of those people. He likes zombies way too much. Yeah, it is working for them. For now.
I’m restless and need to do something. The targets are right inside the new fence. I’d be safe. I take my time dressing warmly and arming myself. After my guns are in place, I strap a compound bow on my back and walk out the door.
*
The field is clear of people and it’s cold. My breath fogs in front of my face as I walk. A few people mill about in the courtyard in the distance. The greenhouse is a little frosty, but maybe it’s just condensation. I’m a little out of practice but easily catch on after a few arrows. I hit the targets right on, except for one that goes into the distance over the fence because some kids screaming from the courtyard distracted me at the last second.
When my arrows run out, I retrieve them, including the one beyond the fence. After finding and picking it up, I turn, catching movement. It disappears between the greenhouse and the marketplace building before I grasp what it is. Figuring I should check it out, I scale along the fence and then the wall of the building. I grip the compound bow with a notched arrow and peek around the corner, coming face-to-face with a body. My yelp echoes through the tight space and I release the arrow. It flies off to the side.
Frozen still, I gulp at the famished standing right in front of me. Not doing anything. I stare at it. It’s a male, fully clothed, and fairly new. He still has darkened bloodshot eyes that don’t have the milky tint to them yet.
Not sure how long I stand and stare, I look around to see if anyone notices I’m standing here with a zombie like we’re discussing statistics.
“Okay, zombie. What do you want?” I ask like it will answer. I pinch my nose. “A bath?” It probably wants food, which isn’t going to happen. I step closer. The dark and bloody globes peer at me. “Are you in there?” I whisper. No spark. No nothing. “Did you have a family? Wife? Kids? Did they make it through the outbreak with you?” I’m rambling. To a zombie. Trying not to freak out, I don’t know what to do. I
should kill him, yeah, that’s what he wants. If he is still in there somehow. The gun will make a shot and draw people. I don’t want anyone to know I came out by myself. I turn to go get my bow.
He follows me. I have to kill him. As much as I’d like to explore this unexpected shenanigan, I can’t very well have him following me around. I clear my throat. “Uh yes, meet my friend… Bob. Yeah, Bob. Don’t worry about that smell. He’s allergic to water and soap. And the sun. Oh, if he starts eating your arm, don’t worry he’ll stop when he’s full.” Yeah, that’ll go over real smooth.
I try to think if there is anything I want to know while I have one so close up, undead. Just to see what will happen I say, “Open your mouth.” It opens slightly and I jump back as my heart beats faster. “Close your mouth before you knock me out with your vapors.” It closes. I swallow and take another glance around. How can it even comprehend what a mouth is? The person still has to be in there, somehow, someway.
I load the bow, pulling the string back. “I haven’t killed a zombie that wasn’t trying to harm me or someone else in some way. Since you can comprehend what I say, I think you can anyway, this is a mercy. I wouldn’t want to be in a decomposing body that I couldn’t control.” I watch for some sign of recognition. Nothing. I sigh and release the arrow. It’s quick.
Off in the distance, another one staggers my way. What? “Stop!” I yell to it. Sure enough, it does. What the hell? I’m never going to be able to leave again. I shoot it quickly, and leave both of them where they are, although my limbs feel like jelly and goose bumps cover my arms. Someone will find them. I’m some sort of zombie magnet. I know exactly who to thank for this particular feat.
CHAPTER TWELVE
I keep my eyes to the ground walking through the courtyard, clad in hood and shades. I’m breathing heavy and my fists are clenching in and out. Something else to add to my growing list of problems. I don’t know what to do with my new Jonah Hex superpower. Well, not quite like Jonah Hex, but at least his was freaking useful. What could we find out if we could talk to zombies? What does Mago expect me to do? Who can I tell? After my conversation with Mac, he’ll freak out. So will everyone else.
“Kan! I’ve been looking for you, little lady,” Reece bellows, striding up to me.
“Not now, Reece. I’m supposed to be resting.” I sound a little snappish.
He pauses as if he forgot. “Yeah, that’s right. You are. So, what have you been doing?”
“Nothing. Walking. I got restless,” I blurt too fast to be believable. We reach the fire escape stairs to my loft. He stops me with his tattooed arm.
“With your bow?” An eyebrow cocks over his sunglasses. “And your guns?”
“Reece, if the outbreak taught me anything, it’d be you never know.” I can practically see his narrowed eyes through the shades.
“I won’t tell, if you don’t.” He grins and gets to his point, “Just wanted you to know, Julie is having her baby.”
That’s how I end up in the Clap Trap drinking at the bar in the middle of the day. Celebrating, of course, because that’s what you do when new life comes into the world.
“Hey, Kan. Glad to see you’re doing better.” I glance down the bar to see Dalton before snapping my eyes back.
I raise my glass of moonshine to him, eyeing the nearby zombie warily. It’s watching me. I know it. I down my gasoline. “Glad to hear those women and children are in a safe place.”
A smile lights up his face. “I know. Me, too.”
Curiosity gets the better of me. “What happened to the men?”
Dalton’s eyes cut sideways to me. “You don’t want to know.” He drinks the rest of his liquor and stands. “I need to go get some sleep. I’m getting a new assignment soon and I’m heading out to Birmingham with Mac as soon as that baby is born.
“You got time for another then.” I flag Bart down. “Joshua’s dad showed up here. As a zombie,” I mention, more for small talk than anything.
Dalton stares at me. “Jeremiah wasn’t the twins dad, Kan. He picked them up after the outbreak. Ten year-olds needing protection and all that.”
Bart slides glasses our way as Dalton’s words hit home. “Ten?” My stomach turns when I add that up to fourteen. Joshua was only fourteen when he shot his own twin brother. I down the glass and choke up. Tears blur my eyes as Dalton keeps talking, not noticing my changed demeanor, but Bart does. He immediately gives me another drink.
After a few more, my Eau de Zombie Charm doesn’t bother me as much, and neither does anything else. I get Dalton to play a few rounds of cards. He doesn’t normally get to, so I don’t blame him for his over-consuming. By the time it’s all said and done, we’re shit-faced.
I try to make my way to sleep it off. When I go to the courtyard, it’s still daylight. I find my fire escape and crawl up the stairs. They wobble my whole way up. I’ll be damned if falling and breaking my neck will be my demise.
*
Someone shakes me. I put a pillow over my head. “Go away,” I slur.
“Naughty girl, you’re drunk. You smell like old man Haney’s moonshine still,” I hear a muffled Mac say from the other side of the pillow. Mac? I stick my head out. It’s dark now. I’m fully clothed on top of the bed covers with no fire. My fingers are frozen stiff. The bright light turns on from the lamp and hurts my eyes. I puff out air. “You need an electric heater. You are ice cold.”
“Nah, moonshine kept me warm,” I say, looking around for the sunglasses and finding them on the other side of the bed.
He laughs and goes about starting a fire. “I’m sure it did, but not now.”
“I should have done that already.”
“I’m glad you didn’t. Could have burned the whole building down.” The fire catches, and he puts a chair close to it. “Come here.” I hobble up as he pulls the blanket off the bed. He sits me on the chair and cocoons me in the blanket. “You’re freezing. Can’t leave you alone for any amount of time.”
“Julie have her baby?”
He pulls another chair over and sits down. The smell of tobacco floats in air around him. Has he been smoking? “Yeah, all over. I didn’t have to do or see anything. Thank God. I can go my whole life and say I’ve never seen her hoo-ha.” I laugh. “She screamed a lot though. Rudy and I were in the hall the whole time.”
“Really? Rudy was?” I would have thought he’d hold her hand at least.
“Yeah, she didn’t want him in there. I think he was worried about having to coax her through it and was relieved when he didn’t.” Oh. He would have if she wanted it. Why did she opt out of his comfort?
“She was going to break off the engagement with him before the outbreak,” I say.
It takes a while for this to sink in. He sighs, “I’m not surprised. I bet he knows it, too. He doesn’t say much, but there’s a lot going on in that head of his. They have known each other since they were kids, you know? Family.” Might explain why he puts up with it, but I have a feeling there’s more to it. “Speaking of, Rudy will be here with some hot food.”
That snaps me into awareness. “What?” I jump up and stumble backwards. Mac catches my arm to keep me from falling into the fire. He exhales heavily. “He’ll know I’ve been drinking. That was the deal.”
“What really matters is that you eat. I’ve never seen you so skinny. You’ve been through a lot, and contrary to what you believe, you’re not handling it well. I bet you haven’t eaten since the eggs this morning. Not that you ate any of them.” He checks around for any sign that contradicts his statement.
I think about telling him about the zombie this morning, but decide against it. I’d be locked up for sure. Picking up a bag of the popcorn I looted from New Orleans from my box, I wag it before opening it. He watches me with amusement as I toss some into my mouth.
Chewing, I ask, “You’re not mad?”
“What? About your rejection?” He tries to smooth a wrinkle from his pants. “I’m not used to it,” he says in a dry tone
and looks at me. “But maybe you’re right.”
The door opens and Rudy, Glinda, and Reece stroll in carrying various items.
“Hey Suga! Brought yew some bean soup.” It doesn’t sound that appetizing. She doesn’t know I lived on beans, rice, and oatmeal for four years. Rudy knows and is currently sporting a small smile like he knows something I don’t, but he eyes Mac and I.
“Thanks, Glinda.” I sit at the table, grateful to have a hot meal at all.
Rudy puts a platter down and lifts a towel to reveal grilled veggie skewers. My stomach growls. Throwing Rudy a relieved grin, I pick one up and start on a potato piece. After I start eating, everyone else does, too.
Glinda’s a dainty eater so she chats the whole time we eat. “Yeah Suga, yew should see that lil’ baby girl. Sweet lil’ thang.”
“I’m glad she finally had her, maybe her hormones will go back to normal and she’ll stop being a bitch,” I state around a piece of tomato and a bite of cornbread, hoping it covers the slur of it. Mac almost chokes on whatever he is eating. I peek at Rudy as he tries to hide a smile by drinking some water, but I can see it in his eyes. I need to eat more, before I say anything else the alcohol lets loose.
“Oh, Suga. Be nice.”
“I think she has every right to say what’s on her mind. Julie has been an ungrateful bitch to everyone,” Mac says with no tact. Same as ever. Reece perks up.
“I agree with you, Mac,” Rudy speaks up. “She’s been… hard to get along with.”
“No shit, Sherlock.” This comes from Reece. He never speaks badly about anyone, especially if it isn’t his business. It makes me wonder if Julie has ever said anything to him. Rudy stares at him, surprised at his outburst. Glinda changes the subject.
“So Suga, what did Dalton say? I saw you talkin’ to ‘im in the Trap.” Not a subject I would have chosen, but a different one all the same.
Four pairs of eyes settle on me. “I asked him what happened to the men from the cult.”
